tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2739078147035688802024-03-05T05:44:51.516-08:00The SaucerologistAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15110659214862886339noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273907814703568880.post-64254830346182548542017-07-20T05:21:00.000-07:002017-07-20T05:21:04.493-07:00Starbuck's X'mas Controversy Leads to Great Revelations <div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: red;"><em><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong>Here's another blast from the past, originally published Wednesday, December 2, 2015. We'll return to our Roswell narrative when the full context of Mr. Roger Cragget's obsession with fake news is fully investigated. We appreciate your patience.</strong></span></em></span></div>
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<span style="color: red;"><span style="background-color: black; font-size: x-large;"><em>Divinity Claimed by Muhammad, St. Paul and Others was a Genetic Mistake!</em></span></span></h2>
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<em><span style="color: red;"><span style="background-color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;"><strong>(and Jesus was a terrible dancer)</strong></span></span></em></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-weight: normal;">SPI PHILADELPHIA, PA - Frufrick Sturplefloss, self-anointed</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-weight: normal;"> residential coordinator for the Bethlehem, Pennsylvania Tourist Board, has stormed right into the Starbucks "Happy Holidays" coffee cup controversy, and the GOP is not too happy about it! Republican strategists only created the issue to gauge conservative voters' willingness to aggressively stage an argument centered on meaningless, trivial issues as opposed to matters of worthwhile concern, so Sturplefloss' forced entry into this heartfelt, albeit pointless discussion was completely unexpected. Even worse, Sturplefloss, it seems, is defending the Republican point-of-view for reasons that most conservative politicos have every reason to avoid: it draws attention to their common want of divinity.</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Frufrick Sturplefloss, a Gray Alien born in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania on Christmas morning, 1998, has been preaching the Gospel According to Frufrick since watching Stephen Spielberg's "E.T." when he was just a young pup. "That is MY story," Sturplefloss insists. "I am the E.T. who suffers the little children to come unto me, and I judge it a damnable shame that the Starbucks Corporation has refused to celebrate my divinity simply because it prefers to be more generic with its remembrance, its now unspeakably silent disrega</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">rd for the wholly celebratory Paper Cup, the Holy Grail of the Great Coffee Bean, the wide-awakening of my coming forth that signifies for all time mankind's liberation from Death. It isn't a happy holiday, a worthless kind wish, a caffeine-free amplification of the breakfast spirit's will, by God. It is MY birthday, and it represents the holy means by which I came to save this Earth, to save this planet from its own unholy scriptures and terror-filled drives in the muddy station-wagons, the grand Chevrolet Impalas of yesteryear. It represents the lingering illness and stillness that refuses to curse the agitating Star Buck that has chosen to raise in ignorance the will of a great and sorely lost people selected by the cream and by the coffee to lose forevermore its brown sweetness and white sugar by ignoring ME."</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When asked to explain how he came to recognize his divinity, Sturplefloss didn't exactly take his inspirational cue from the Gospel of the Coffee Bean: "I have seen it always on the wide screens of man's youth and Enterprise that originates only within the Great Kirk. I am the Mocking Jay while the Star Buck is the Minion. I am the Holy Bond, the double-oh-seven of the Resurrection, while It is the Sky Fall amidst the cold Spectre. Through MY heart flows the great Guyver; it is upon MY breath and through MY blessing alone that mankind shall come unto the great Narnia, the Lone Star Hobbit, for I alone am the Harry Potter's wheel and the Potter's kiln. They are the Manson Family while I am the Manson Family Vacation; they are the Hellraiser, while I am the Raisin in the Sun. Drink deep of my wisdom, for they are the DoggieWoggiez and PoochieWoochiez, while I alone am the Samurai Cat!"</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Bethlehem, Pennsylvania City Council member, Robert Saxony, a Republican, made it very clear that neither he nor his party supported Sturplefloss' claims. "Personally, I think he's insane. For one thing, there is no Bethlehem, Pennsylvania Tourist Board, which means there is no residential coordinator for the Bethlehem, Pennsylvania Tourist Board. He's just a freaked-out Gray Alien with delusions of grandeur! He thinks that 'cause he was born in Bethlehem on Christmas Day, that he must be the new Jesus Christ. Well, it's nothing but babbling as far as I'm concerned. Babbling and blasphemy!"</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="background-color: black; font-size: small;">Donald Trump weighs in</span></b></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">GOP front runner Donald Trump made his views equally clear: "If I was a practicing Christian, I'd be pissed off with this alien Jesus Christ wannabee and his blatant desegregation of Christmas. Don't get me wrong, I'm as much a Christian as any other New Yorker, but I don't need to practice it half as much as a lot of folks do -- y'know like that black Muslim nation or those yellow Shinto freaks with their fat little Buddhas. They need to practice their Christianity a whole lot more than I do. Frankly, I'll be the best damn Christian that the White House ever saw if I'm elected President, and you can bet that I'd force the rest of Washington, DC to go Christian as well -- I'd put it in the Constitution that you can't be an elected official unless you're a Christian, and you'd have to prove it. Somebody just give me a damn pen and it would be done. That Constitutional right that the President can change what's in the Constitution is one power of the Executive that I'd be using a whole lot. You look at all the statistics, and you'll notice right off the bat that most of our Presidents hardly ever take advantage of that Executive right; it's like they're afraid of the Supreme Court or something, which is just a joke! That wouldn't be me, I assure you. I'd be making important and near perfect corrections all over the place, just like George Washington did. And I'd get rid of those damn Gray Aliens in exactly the same way. I'd be the greatest damn anti-alien President this country ever saw. And I'd get rid of soccer, too --<i> just to prove I could do it!" </i></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Eager to get a story that didn't look like more of Donald Trump's complete crap, representatives of <span style="color: yellow; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><em><strong>The Saucerologist</strong></em></span> managed to secure a short telephone interview with one of the original Gray Alien Ambassadors, Repplesmunck Yoleoderff, just before he left for his annual dark matter recalibration stigmata aboard the Alien dock to the International Space Station. Yoleoderff makes a clear case that the faulty fruit under examination does not originate with the Gray Aliens, but with Earthborn humans. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>The Saucerologist: </b> </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Can you explain for our readers why you believe an obviously disturbed Gray Alien isn't responsible for his own actions? You've said that the fault ultimately lies within human biology. Well, most humans won't look at it that way, not without some kind of explanation.</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: yellow;">Yoleoderff:</span> </b><span style="color: white;"> Like most of those who come to believe they possess some form of divinity, Frufrick Sturplefloss's human DNA is entirely to blame. He may look like a pure-breed Gray Alien, but he is <i>not. </i>He is a result of my people's ancient attempts to breed a race containing the best qualities of each of our species. Apparently, one of humanity's better qualities is its habitual and oftentimes bitterly pronounced contempt for others. When that quality is combined with my species' humility and its spiritually-based desire to crush and then wipe-out all opponents to those missions intended to raise the quality of existence for all creatures, the sad result is exactly what you see here: the assumed grandeur of the divine, and the eventual assumption of God-hood. I understand the breeding project is still active, but I don't believe there have been any significant advances at all. Unfortunately, it used to be quite common for those born as a result of our breeding program who also possessed the strength to survive childhood to believe that they possessed a unique spirit, a quality of the divine that other individuals did not possess. I can assure you as a direct witness to many of these incidents that it rarely worked out well for them or for those around them.</span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: yellow;">The Saucerologist: </span></b><span style="color: white;"> Are you saying that throughout Earth's history, your people conducted breeding experiments that led to the creation of individuals who were actually <em>divine?</em></span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: yellow;">Yoleoderff (laughing): </span></b><span style="color: white;"> <em>Oh, heavens no!</em> There's no such thing as divinity! No, these individuals were delusional as a result of the inherent psychological contradictions that came about when the better qualities of my species and the better qualities of your species were intermingled within a single host. And even then you have to figure in the almost typical chromosome disintegration that often took place. I can promise you, though, that there was no real divinity, only their belief in divinity. It certainly created a number of fascinating case files, most of which, I believe, are currently available on Amazon dot com. Look under "false prophets" or something like that. I recall reading that the author Colin Wilson once requested a number of files from us some years ago, so you might look under his name. I'm sure he wrote a book or two on the subject. For a pagan, he was very prolific considering that most of them tend to spend more time celebrating nature and the fruit of the vine than they do actually producing anything -- except more wine, I mean. Maybe he just talked the talk, y'know? Most modern pagans are pretty loose when attesting to their belief system, not like in the old days when someone was expected to volunteer themselves for human sacrifice every twelve years or so. Now those guys had some real dedication to the program! In any case, insofar as our breeding program was concerned, a lot of those guys were representative of the same type of personality that you're currently witnessing at work in the mind of Frufrick Sturplefloss. And I promise you, past examples of the phenomena were no more divine than he is -- or you for that matter.</span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow;">The Saucerologist:</span></b><span style="background-color: black; color: white;"> You know I've got to ask this, now that you've broken the story: who exactly is on that list of the falsely divine? Was Jesus Christ?</span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Yoleoderff:</b> </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Given the personalities at work, you'd think that, wouldn't you? But, no, he was genuinely special, as such things go -- a good man during a really rotten and brutal period in Earth history. What he went through was just horrific, something nobody should go through, especially if you're just trying to teach people how to be better people. He was dedicated, though. He considered his personal mission to be a clear duty to God and to the Hebrew people, so it was surprising, really, that he embodied such considerable humility. Usually, the assumption of duty makes a man proud, which can turn him into a bit of a dick -- an annoyance more than a teacher worthy of anybody's admiration. With Yeshua, the man called the Christ, we have the example of a quiet yet brilliant mind, who was also an absolutely terrible dancer. And, oddly enough, it was this quality that made him such a significantly humble example of a man who acts upon his own assumed definition of duty, because dancing was so incredibly important to the Hebrews. </span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: yellow;"><b><span style="background-color: black; font-size: small;">Jesus joins in the Dance</span></b></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">That's something you really don't hear about a lot, but it was a plain fact of life amongst many pre-diaspora Jews, especially in Judea. A lot of dance was ritualized, but it was also an expression of great joy, which was considered a valid and important aspect of worship -- possibly the most important. King David was a fine dancer, who danced in the streets to celebrate his God and his Rule. The bringing of the Ark of the Covenant to Jerusalem inspired King David and his subjects to dance before God. He was known to leap, twist, spin himself silly, jump with both feet into the air, and it was all centered in his religious and worshipful joy. This was typical of his sons as well. Yeshua, on the other hand, was just clumsy, and that made him appear more than a little creepy when he tried to focus on the dance. His mother used to laugh at him mercilessly for it!</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This practice of dancing was exactly the sort of act that people are supposed to lose themselves in -- it's the whole point of dance as a part of celebration and worship. But Yeshua the Christ was uncoordinated and clumsy, so he tended to focus on the details, on the steps of the dance, to formalize his own joy. And, of course, this just made things even worse. The man had no sense of grace at all. Eventually, he reached the conclusion that he could never truly worship his God in the instinctual and joyful manner that he desperately desired, so he simply quit trying. Instead, he came to believe himself duty bound to help others worship properly; he got rid of that internally directed focus on himself and his dancing and re-centered it instead outside of himself. He focused his joy outward on other people. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yeshua saw something that others couldn't: that people were so concerned about trying to reach their God in joyful communion that they became unable to lose themselves in their worship of God. His greatest gift was his elucidation of what was primarily an emotional and instinctual belief that the worship of God had little real worth unless the worshiper lost himself in the process, thereby allowing God, as he saw it, to possess man in reckless abandon. He taught desperate men that their inability to lose themselves in worship trapped them in a never-ending loop of despair. Privately, he equated the inability of others to properly worship God with his own inability to lose himself in dance. He sincerely believed that most of the Hebrews of his time had way too much focus and nowhere near enough depth. To remedy that trait, he taught people that they didn't have to try so hard to get into the Kingdom of God, because they were already there. In the long run, his handicap of being such a terrible dancer helped him to become a great man and a fine teacher. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Unfortunately, he neglected to teach that lesson to both the Sadducees and their Roman overseers, so they misinterpreted everything he had to say, and convinced themselves that it was just easier to get rid of him, than to try and understand him.</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ironically, Paul -- the one who was named Saul by his parents -- was very much a product of our breeding program. He wanted so much for people to consider him divine, but he was such a physically ugly man, that it just would not happen. You can thank the Greeks for that bit of body prejudice. Anybody beautiful within had to be beautiful without as well. If they weren't, they ended up like Socrates -- mad, bad, and dangerous to know. The man called St. Paul was so ugly because he was a half-breed, but he was a great talker and traveler who was also easily bored, and that was part of his charm. He decided to make Yeshua a God, since he couldn't be one himself. He had some weird dream of becoming the first Pope, divine by right of conquest, or some such foolish thing, but he didn't know that Peter already had that job nailed down, and he had no intention of giving it away. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Most of the half-breeds my people came up with were not completely brilliant, and they often came up with terrible coping strategies as a result. It's why so many of them died when they were so young. They basically made targets of themselves.</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: yellow;">The Saucerologist:</span> </b><span style="color: white;"> So you're saying that Socrates was also in your breeding program?</span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: yellow;">Yoleoderff: </span></b><span style="color: white;"> <i>Oh, no</i> -- he was just a very ugly, little man, so his arrogance tended to bother people. He should have tried to control what others said about him a little more. It probably would have helped him a lot if only he had the civil authority to do what the Great Islamic Prophet Muhammad did: make it a crime to depict him or otherwise describe him to others. It was a brilliant means of controlling the message, and Muhammad was the first person in history to do so in such an effective way. Of course, he absolutely had to do it, because he was also in our breeding program, and he definitely looked the part. The Gray Alien genes really stood out a lot in him, so he had an image problem that needed to be addressed.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>The Saucerologist:</b> </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> I always thought that the Muslims came up with that rule because they were trying to prevent the early adherents to Islam from backsliding into idolatry. You know: if they can't paint pictures or create statues of the Great Prophet Muhammad, then those members of the church who were raised by their parents as pagans would be less inclined to worship those portraits and those statues of the Prophet when things went bad for them. If they don't have the actual idols to worship, than they're forced to continue worshipping the undefined image of Allah as taught to them by the undefined image of the Great Prophet Muhammad. </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /><b><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: black; font-size: small;">The Great Prophet, Muhammad</span></span></b></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Yoleoderff: </b> </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">No, no, that's not even close. After all, backsliders were simply executed. The early Muslims made it a crime to physically depict the Prophet or otherwise describe his physical form to others, because he wasn't entirely human, and his physical features made that extremely obvious. It was already a social taboo to depict the physical form of Allah, and that taboo, of course, came about in order to discourage idolatry. Muhammad, however, was considered a Prophet, not a God. They made it a crime to depict his image for two reasons: first, they didn't want possible converts to know what he looked like. He not only understood and took to heart the lesson of St. Paul, he also realized that he was a target for assassination, and any description of him -- or worse, a picture -- would have endangered both him and the new religion of Islam that he was espousing. And two, he thought they could get away with it. History proves he was right. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In any case, it was due to this early taboo regarding the depiction of his physical looks that the Great Prophet Muhammad and his teachings became so successfully ingrained into modern civilization. They weren't trying to prevent the adoption of idolatry as a target of worship -- they just wanted to keep Muhammad's physical looks a secret. And they succeeded.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>The Saucerologist:</b> </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> So this breeding program resulted in delusional thinking that was based on their belief that they were unique? </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: yellow;">Yoleoderff: </span></b><span style="color: white;"> Absolutely. The fact that they were genuinely unique is just the pile-on of more irony. Our program was also the direct cause of living ascensions to heaven. At some point, the chromosomal character that made such genetic wonders desperate to possess divinity just breaks down, and it happens with extreme speed. From a short distance away, this chromosomal behavior looks like Dracula being staked out on a lovely, sunny day in July: he immediately turns into an angry flash of cold light and a bloody mist and just drifts away on the breeze as if he never even existed. Now<em> that's</em> ascension, my friend! Just kidding. It's actually just another hum drum death, but it looks just remarkable, so a lot people with just a tiny bit of sense suggested that this sudden cloud of red, misty blood and pheromones came about when God ascended his most holy representatives to Heaven. Actually they just died another kind of messy death. The closer you were, the messier it got. It was all very dramatic really. At least it <em>looked</em> that way. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>The Saucerologist:</b> </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> And yet the breeding program is still active. Why is that?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Yoleoderff:</b> </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <i>Why do you think? </i> False prophets tend to unite public opinion one way or the other, and that's a valuable commodity in any age. Populations under this type of influence are either fanatical under the application of their religious beliefs, or they're fanatical in their <i>contempt </i>for religious belief. Either way, they make it easy for us Gray Aliens to predict their effect on others which in turn makes control of entire societies an easy goal for us to adopt. We use a very well constructed series of mathematical applications governed by a standard protocol that's been in use by our anthropology conditioners now for about 1600-years. It's been tested and confirmed by quality assurance engineers throughout the entire history of its use, so we're very confident of its accuracy. We were able to predict the conservative revolution of the 1980s under Ronald Reagan about 60-years before the United States had even declared its independence. In fact, the first set of logarithmic predictors were actually being assessed in the 1690s! Our temporal engineers, however, weren't confident enough in the results to act upon them until right around 1712.</span><br /><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><br /><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I often wonder whether or not it would have been possible to limit the economic disaster that Reagan and his Republican cohorts precipitated if we had started acting upon those predictors in the 1690s when they were first noted. Reagan didn't believe that a nation's debts could have any influence at all on that nation's internal economic stressors, so he didn't care much how many debts his administration needlessly assumed. He was the first American President to create a national deficit over a trillion dollars, and the recklessness this precedent set and the fact that it was progressively reapplied by every Republican President that followed has completely ripped out the heart of the GOP's insistence that it alone possesses the moral integrity to prepare the Earth for the benefit of future populations. The truth of the matter tells a completely different story. Republicans throughout the 20th and, thus far, the 21st centuries have done more damage to the United States' fiscal and probative identity than the American Civil War of the 1860s. That's what happens when you decide to declare war on science: you lose. <em>Always.</em> You know, it becomes harder every year for the GOP to deny that its belief in a Biblical Apocalypse and its unrepentant intention to bring about that Apocalypse by any means necessary is the primary basis of its entire underlying national policy and ultimate intent. That's why we Gray Aliens always vote Democrat; we don't want to be forced to witness the radioactive destruction of this entire planet just so the Republican Party can crow about how they're the only party in America trying to facilitate the Second Coming of Jesus Christ!</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span><br /><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In any case, we discovered a long time ago that the polarizing nature created by the inception of false prophets and the unconditional use of outlandish prophecy by such individuals can often be used to influence entire populations, thereby allowing for some measure of control that wouldn't normally exist. I won't go into any of the details, because the aggressive application of such knowledge by those who don't understand it can sometimes have a grave effect on the outcome, but I can tell you that my people have been diligently and tirelessly working to prevent a worldwide Apocalypse brought on by religious cranks since around 330 A.D. The true enemy of all life is constantly attempting to expedite the Second Coming of Jesus Christ or the Advent of Allah, or the Reign of Jehovah, or God or whatever other little nickname you people have for the Prime Deity -- a Deity that I happen to know for a fact hasn't even been born yet. </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><br /><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You people go on and on and<em> on</em> about the end of the world like it's supposed to be some great, driving force of humanity, a goal the whole universe should jump behind and give a push to, but you're always changing the silly damn rules intended to get you there! You have no consistency at all, not even from one election to the next. It can be very frustrating at times to try and figure you silly people out. Humans tend to have nothing but contempt for false prophets, but until somebody in authority decides that they are indeed <em>false</em>, you can't help but jump out of your own skin trying to be the first in line to follow their ultimately ridiculous directions and built in, handy dandy tools for improving a perfectly acceptable life by turning it into what's usually a long, painful, ultimately meaningless and foolishly uncompromising existence! Do you people ever bother to examine the self-imposed restrictions these <em>maniacs</em> convince you to adopt? You're not supposed to mix milk with blood, a living sacrifice is better than a vegetable sacrifice, it's a sin to pack away your woolen sweaters with your cotton T-shirts, you have to love your neighbor, but if you do so too much, your neighbor has to execute you, the first man in line is an <em>idiot,</em> while the last man in line is a <em>criminal</em> for not being the first man in line, the buttress of your pain is below your glory, but forsake thee not the man who holds your heart high! I can assure you most vigorously and with extreme sincerity that our use of such deluded individuals who invariably populate this huge, starry-eyed collection of false prophets and mockingbird gods has prevented worldwide Holocaust, Apocalypse, the end of the yellow-brick road or whatever else you want to call the very real destruction of most of the advanced life on most of this little blue planet at least eleven times in the past four-hundred and fifty years alone -- and a lot of it you people have still failed to even notice! Because of their general delusions and outwardly directed stupidity, the false prophets of this planet you call <em>DIRT</em> represent tools that can be very useful in the right hands. Look, we don't normally try to explain any of this to the Human Race. You have a nasty habit of taking very real brilliance and dulling it to a flat gray. <em>Hell, every time you find a real prophet, you end up torturing him or her to death!</em> </span><br /><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Look, don't believe me -- you'll probably be happier for it -- but <em>everything</em> that I've said, you can actually<em> prove. </em>The only prerequisites are to go to school, learn a little science, and then <em>apply it.</em> I promise you, it's very easy to see the effects of that control of false prophecy and manipulated character development at any time by simply learning how to determine what events or actions or even motivations fall clearly under the direct influence of mankind's delusions of grandeur, because nine times out of ten those delusions are being influenced by those false prophets who are still around and still religiously seeking an audience to enthrall. <em>It's very easy.</em> Once you know what you're looking for, all of history spins nicely into place.</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><br /><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>The Saucerologist:</b> </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> So you mean that some of these deluded cranks are still out there? They're still alive and preaching? <em>Now that's a news story!</em> So spill it, pal. Who today is active, influential and looking to be God?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: yellow;">Yoleoderff:</span> </b><span style="color: white;"> You humans never listen. And you <em>never </em>ask the hard questions. Who do you think is at the top of the list? It's always someone who wants to tear everything down in order to replace it with something worse, so it should be obvious. </span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></span><br /><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">It's </span><em>Donald Trump... </em>Hell, it's <em>always</em> been Donald Trump.</span></div>
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<span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: black;"><strong>This is a Saucer Press International Publication.</strong></span></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15110659214862886339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273907814703568880.post-5516675365999644332017-06-03T19:05:00.000-07:002017-06-04T10:26:36.000-07:00Source Close to NM Congressman Promises Huge Roswell Exposure<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">SPI SANTA FE, NM - </span></span><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The Saucerologist</span><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">was unexpectedly contacted this week by a gentleman who was once closely affiliated with the office of Congressman Steven Schiff, who represented the first district of New Mexico from 1989 until his death in 1998. The information he has revealed to our researchers has proven to be of great importance to our current investigation of the alleged flying saucer incident near Roswell, New Mexico in June 1947. This unexpected font of highly relevant information has set our story back of late, due to the need to confirm many of the aspects of the information currently under discussion among our staff. Mr. Roger Craggett was notified as well, and he immediately went out and purchased a half-dozen shovels and a couple of picks, so we can happily report that the investigation is continuing at a pace that should produce some major new finds just in time for us to conclude the entire process and hopefully scratch the Roswell incident off of our list of unsolved mysteries.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #f3f3f3;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">These new branches of source materials -- ever important and resoundingly exciting -- do not exist in a vacuum or an environment of slight background noise, and has set us back a bit insofar as our scheduling of these revelations is concerned. After all, it was very unexpected and the new data still has to be examined within the context of previously revealed information. We have decided, therefore, to re-publish an older article this month, along with our reasons for doing so. We want our extremely well-educated audience (when compared with the audience expected of most UFO-oriented reports and essays) to realize that we take the education of the entire world seriously, and refuse to publish materials that we know are already obsolete. We were among the first UFO investigators and researchers to confirm the extraterrestrial link to the origins of President Donald Trump and his Presidential campaign, and the first to recognize the importance of recent Bosnian archaeological theories detailing the technical development of walls and how such complex structures were so far beyond the comprehension of humans living at the time that the only reasonable assumption well-educated historians can rely on to explain the presence of such walls throughout the world is the existence of a partnership between early Cro-Magnon hunter-gatherers and the currently hypothesized race of far more intelligent creatures from another star system. Some archaeologists, however, believe that most early walls were constructed by a race of hyper-evolved Neanderthals who would eventually disappear from the Earth, replaced by the aforementioned Cro-Magnons. Whichever the case, it is now accepted as a point of fact that mankind simply could not have invented concrete or cement without the assistance of a far more intelligent and creative species. More importantly still, that species could not possibly have evolved as a native upon our planet home. Had that been the case, walls would have already been built all over the world well before our cave-dwelling ancestors developed sufficient intelligence to capitalize on the idea.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #f3f3f3; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Our reputation as investigative journalists and men of good faith hinges upon the quality of thinking that </span><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The Saucerologist</span><span style="background-color: black; color: #f3f3f3; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> has been responsible for since the organization was founded in 1962. It is that quality that demands perfection wherever it can be attained. It is that quality that demands this great sacrifice of our readers, for if we published the story as it stands today, it would be incomplete before the first period is applied to paper. It would be incomplete before the first exclamation point rains down upon our mildly protuberant skulls! It would be incomplete before the first semi-colon; the first comma, or even, in the words of that revolutionary 3rd century B.C. librarian, the redoubtable Zenodotus, "the first quotation marks -- that's it; </span><i style="background-color: black; color: #f3f3f3; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">that's what I shall call them! </i><span style="background-color: black; color: #f3f3f3; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> LOOK FATHER I HAVE INVENTED QUOTATION MARKS! What the hell do you mean, 'why?' </span><i style="background-color: black; color: #f3f3f3; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Goddammit!</i><span style="background-color: black; color: #f3f3f3; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Now I have to create rules for a quote within a quote, you Iberian bastard! You can make your own damn lunch today ... I swear, I've just about had it with you people. </span><i style="background-color: black; color: #f3f3f3; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You think the use of quotes is just a joke?</i><span style="background-color: black; color: #f3f3f3; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Well consider this then, you parasitical plebeian! Without some form of quotation mark to differentiate the words of Moses from the Words of God, </span><i style="background-color: black; color: #f3f3f3; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">you'd never know it was God who intoned the phrase 'I Am that I Am', </i><span style="background-color: black; color: #f3f3f3; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And I know you think we should print the Words of God in </span><span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">red,</span><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: black;"> but that's just </span><i style="background-color: black;">stupid </i><span style="background-color: black;">and nobody is ever going to use your </span><i style="background-color: black;">stupid</i><span style="background-color: black;"> idea -- not if they've got quotation marks to use instead! Well, maybe the British -- they're always looking for some way to stand out in a crowd. </span><i><span style="background-color: black;">But nobody else would do it!" </span></i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The Saucerologist</span> </span><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">is convinced that the revelations we have been subjected to by our recent association with sources close to the administrative offices of Congressman Steven Schiff, now deceased, is going to be well worth the wait, for we shall present a side to this story that no one could have expected or predicted. With luck, our investigation will shortly coalesce into a significant continuation of the Roswell mythos, one that will finally put to rest the many rumors, legends, exaggerations and lies that the world has been forced to endure during its long journey to the final truth. This is only a temporary setback to our scheduled exposure of the Roswell Incident. We will return to our mission of social enlightenment next month. As for today, please enjoy the following celebration of one of our past investigative triumphs, as we present to you (with both apologies and great pride) some revelations of our past that have revealed themselves to be stepping stones into the future. Given our conviction that the importance these stepping stones represent cannot possibly be overstated, we ask that as you read, you remember those words once uttered by the prophet Criswell : <i> "We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future."</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Please enjoy the following golden oldie first published here at </span><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The Saucerologist</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">on Wednesday, January 27, 2016.</span><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: red; font-size: x-large;">New Classification </span><span style="color: red; font-size: x-large;">System Expec</span><span style="color: red; font-size: x-large;">ted to Force Recognition of UFO Phenomena</span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: red;"><em style="background-color: black;">Bigfoot, Giant Monster Fans Thrilled!</em></span></h2>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">SPI LOS ANGELES, CA -</span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A new UFO classification system created by Giorgio A. Tsoukalos, cable T.V. host of <em>"Ancient Aliens"</em> and internationally known UFOlogist is expected to finally force the U.S. federal government and the Department of Defense to recognize the solid foundation currently supporting the study of flying saucerology. That, at least, is the primary intention of its designer, who insists <em>"it was so much easier than I</em> <em>thought it would be! </em>I honestly didn't think there was a solution at all."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">According to Tsoukalos, "one of the major problems UFO proponents have when it comes to inspiring interest among government functionaries -- most of whom tend to favor the more skeptical side of the issue -- is the integration of terminology that we've been forced to adopt.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is for an eyewitness to something so extraordinary to stand by his claim? I'd be a millionaire if I got a nickel every time a witness is forced to insist, 'I don't care what you think; I know what I saw -- I know EXACTLY what I saw,' only to have some annoying little skeptic come back with, <em>"y'know, I don't think you do, 'cause if you did, you wouldn't be telling everybody that you saw a UFO, which by definition is something unidentified.'</em> That pretty much ends the discussion right there, and the eyewitness looks like a freaking idiot. How do you think that makes us feel?"<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The solution to this problem, however, eluded Tsoukalos for many years. Originally, he thought the solution was an easy one: get rid of that obnoxious "U" and resolve the matter by convincing everybody to accept the designation "FO", for "Flying Objects." Unfortunately, the USAF and other groups affiliated with the federal government, both legislative and executive, insist that it can't be done, because it would imply the existence of flying objects acting with impunity, flattening crops, mutilating livestock, practicing medicine without the license to do so, and -- possibly their worst act of interference -- disturbing our sleep patterns, and that the U.S. government had, in fact, purposely licensed them to do so. After all, the provision of safe skies through the proper licensing of flying objects is one of the primary functions of the FAA. What surprised Tsoukalos the most, however, was the level of very real enmity originating with UFO proponents.<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">According to Tsoukalos, "That seemingly insignificant 'U' is incredibly important to UFO proponents, because these days, a great many of the sightings that we find so convincing are simply not flying. Some are underwater, some are on the land, some are just plain weird -- like buildings or carved out numbers on huge granite slabs or pyramids or giant faces on Mars or big, black monoliths that we've discovered on the Moon. As long as that questionable little 'U' was part of the designation, nobody was required to limit the associated field of inquiry to 'Flying Objects' alone. <em>Take out that secretive or unexplainable element, and all of a sudden, you're forced to abide by the standard definition alone.</em> It's the ambiguity of the term that apparently makes it so universal in character. Without it, there's a huge, associated class of sightings that are no longer conclusively associated with anything, let alone flying saucers. And that means many of the arguments that favor the E.T. hypothesis are no longer affiliated with the phenomena itself. And without the E.T. hypothesis, what's the point? Seriously, why even bother looking for a solution? If we're talking about just another top secret aircraft being tested by Boeing or whatever, who really gives a damn? A dozen guys in Russia and China, and maybe some manga publishers in Japan, but that's it. Game over as far as I'm concerned. <em>Game over as far as most UFOlogists are concerned."</em></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The whole issue, it seems, revolves around the mystery of the subject, not its identification. As long as the world continues to see flying saucers as "unidentified," than the world -- including the USAF and the ever-elusive U.S. Congress -- is willing to consider almost any solution whatsoever. A UFO could be a flying jellyfish that falls into the ocean and glides away. It could be a mountain-sized pyramid on the dark side of the moon that might actually fly away someday ... <em>or not.</em> It could be <em>anything,</em> because its primary characteristic is the fact that it's unidentified." It could even be another planet that nobody has ever seen before, but excites us anyway due to its sneaky freaky potential.<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Psychologically, the human race doesn't like leaving things undefined, so it's generally willing to accept any identification imposed, as long as that identity possesses some form of internal logic; if it makes even a little bit of sense, it's accepted as gospel," insists Tsoukalos.<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I know it sounds oddball," he opined, "but whenever we call something<em> 'unidentified',</em> we're suddenly able to identify it as literally anything. <em>Which is really great. </em> At least, it's great until you want some jerk in a uniform to believe you when you say,<em> 'I know EXACTLY what I</em> <em>saw!'</em> When that happens, when you start to specify, you kind of want to crawl under a rock and disappear when somebody calls you on it -- <em>and they always do.</em> It occurred to me last week while I was watching TV, that those folks looking for Bigfoot in the middle of Dallas, Texas probably feel the same way. And so I pondered on that for a bit. And since I was watching the <em>History Channel,</em> I got all sorts of inspirational ideas that had nothing at all to do with history, which was exactly what I needed at that particular time. <em>Thank God for profit-oriented cable!</em> I would have never gotten this lucky on PBS."</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The inspiration that Tsoukalos found himself tuning into resulted in the inclusion of more ambiguity than most UFO proponents are normally inclined to rally behind. According to Tsoukalos, it's within that characterization of the issue that its true genius really shines. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Since 1947, there has been an average of roughly 1,500 UFOs reported every year. It's a commonly accepted supposition that anywhere from five to ten percent of those 1,500 UFOs cannot be reasonably explained as the product of relatively commonplace circumstances. That's not much. We're talking about 75 to 150-sightings per year, around the world that cannot be explained. Even then, it doesn't mean 75 to 150 flying saucers; it means 75 to 150 incidents that cannot be immediately explained. That's not a very convincing number to someone who's inclined to suspect such reports in the first place.<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"If we want government functionaries with their wallets packed with all those military resources that we all know can solve the UFO problem in a relatively short amount of time, we're going to have to produce something a little more dramatic than 75 to 150 UFO reports a year, most of which will never be properly investigated, and will very likely be forgotten by everybody except these 14-guys I happen to know who collect such reports on the internet. Well, the solution to that little problem, my friends, lies within our classification of UFOs -- specifically, that big, old capital 'U' at the beginning of the UFO story."</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><em>And therein, according to Giorgio A. Tsoukalos, lies the genius of ambiguity.</em></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The first widely accepted UFO classification system was introduced by Dr. J. Allen Hynek in the 1960s. These were the Close Encounter designations, all of which assume as a factual starting point a physical close encounter based primarily on the objective observation of a UFO by a human witness, a witness who, like most humans, is generally governed by internal, subjective thought structures. It's a weak system in that it also assumes honesty is characteristic of the witness, who in turn acknowledges the unidentified aspect of the object. It is flawed as a result of its specificity being undefined -- a flaw that makes identification impossible, and a thorough investigation either meaningless or a complete waste of time.<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Dr. Hynek admitted as much shortly before he died when he concluded to his own satisfaction that UFOs are completely explainable in the context of military, experimental or private aircraft. And all of those "remarkable yet impossible in that context" characteristics typical of such incidents are entirely due either to misidentification or to the barely observed and poorly described elements of such objects mistakenly applied to the issue by error-prone eyewitnesses. Hynek's newly applied point-of-view tended to place the insurmountable weight of evidence for the E.T. hypothesis in the "eyewitness didn't understand what he was looking at" column, the repercussions of which could have abolished for all time the hope of humanity that our little planet was under examination by some alien equivalent of "Star Trek" creator Gene Roddenberry's "United Federation of Planets". Tsoukalos, like so many UFOlogists well-prepared to contemptuously ignore the opinions of those handicapped with an extensive background in organized science and education, bluntly refused to even consider such an option, proving to his own satisfaction that the opinions of highly educated men and women were not only unnecessary, but were downright inconveniently detrimental to those of an ignorant man with a powerful conviction. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Tsoukalos, however, was not entirely outclassed by the obstacles that a skeptical world-view had seemingly placed before him. Unlike most UFOlogists, he had noticed something untenable about Hynek's Close Encounters system that the swamp-gas maven had neglected to explain: his system makes it all too easy for educated men and women to dismiss any sighting or incident almost immediately upon the mere suggestion of identity, one that requires little to no proof to be instantly adopted by skeptics and believers alike. The suggestion of identity in such a context is every bit as exact as the actual identification when the only standard necessary to assert is the possibility of any common origin. Like <em>"it must have been flares,"</em> for example.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In a short, paid for and picked up at Walmart instant, <em>"what the heck is that?"</em> turns into <em>"dammit! fooled by Venus once again."</em> And once that accursed variable of "unidentified" can no longer be applied as an exact measure of the target's reality, any real, fully validated investigation becomes almost immediately irrelevant. The flying object, after all, is no longer "unidentified". Amazingly, the accuracy of that identification is completely meaningless as well. After all, the only standard of value is <em>"yes"</em> or <em>"no",</em> as measured in terms of <em>"black"</em> or <em>"white"</em> without any consideration of probability, which, as the world knows, is a withering and changeable field of gray.<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Dr. Hynek's classifying system itself is flawed in that it requires very little investigation to close out any given case file as fundamentally insignificant. It was basely apparent to Tsoukalos that any classification system that required so little examination to dismiss a case in its entirety would eventually require the dismissal of the phenomenon making such a system necessary. In this case, such an assumption means getting rid of the E.T. hypothesis, an act that Tsoukalos was certain would set the science of UFOlogy back centuries. But what could be done? There seemed to be no easy solution within easy reach. How exactly does one redefine a UFO for classification without applying specificity? The question was maddening.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Fortunately, there was no shortage of UFOlogists attempting to solve the problem Tsoukalos had focused on. In the mistaken belief that you can prove anything as long as you've got numbers on your side, UFOlogists fell in love with statistics decades ago, which suggests that they like to classify things, putting them in lists and reorganizing their appearance on a spreadsheet for the benefit of mankind. Or something like that ...<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As a general rule, UFO classification systems tend to evolve from the disappointingly limited variables of the type proposed by Dr. J. Allen Hynek to far more specific and extensive systems, numerous examples of which seem to crop up every year. As a general rule, everything becomes more complex, but is more complex necessarily better? It never occurred to Tsoukalos that problems of the sort he had been working himself into a lather over for some years could be significantly affected by simply changing how you looked at it, which is essentially what an increase in complexity brings to the table, unless you've decided to change the standards of classification as well. It's a point of fact that point-of-view, Tsoukalos was learning, can oftentimes affect the very definition of this inter-galactic phenomenon he had always considered undefinable. Sometimes, he was starting to believe, you have to look underground if you want to see the stars.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Check this out. There's a guy named Rosales who goes nuts over humanoid sightings. How many people really care much about a figure spotted in the distance who looks vaguely kind of human and is probably human, but may not be, because we didn't get a real good look? You'd be surprised -- probably millions, because they can excite people by the names you use to describe them. There's Bigfoot, lizard men, giants, kangaroos, elves, Hobbits, leprechauns, Eskimos, brownies, faery folk, pygmies -- even something called a Long-legged Warbler. Can you imagine? And those are just the legendary ones that most people consider to be figments of our imagination! And these aren't just a bunch of humanoids in the literature of man; they're also anomalies -- every single one. And who's to say they aren't associated in some way with UFOs, which are also anomalies? They could be. They all inhabit the unknown terraces of our universe. So what happens if we list them all and add every sighting to our UFO database? All of a sudden, the number of possible associated anomalies swells. Hell, it more than doubles the number of contacts that need to be investigated every month. It's beautiful!<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"When everybody else is trying to center in on the specific aspects of an unidentified anomaly, only Rosales was saying, 'why are we looking at the flying saucer? Is it really that important? Why don't we look at all the stuff that's far more interesting and then we can establish our suspicions that they might actually be related to UFOs later? Who really needs a UFO when you've got all that other stuff to look at as well?" </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPKS5zh6ZI8vvx1LR8l0hRB8TXYxKYlwlrr7N4_W9xkv-3W4-YYOd-JtUvhArPUyPv5IFvwJfP3FROR8RUguQjFp644SsR8XgnOAxSiARGKwueXnsl_C9e_qbjxnZE55FWE_G-zMVIov4/s1600/hqdefault.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPKS5zh6ZI8vvx1LR8l0hRB8TXYxKYlwlrr7N4_W9xkv-3W4-YYOd-JtUvhArPUyPv5IFvwJfP3FROR8RUguQjFp644SsR8XgnOAxSiARGKwueXnsl_C9e_qbjxnZE55FWE_G-zMVIov4/s320/hqdefault.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px; text-align: center;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong style="background-color: black;">Giorgio A. Tsoukalos</strong></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When young Tsoukalos came across the work of Albert Rosales, he immediately recognized it as a necessary step to remedy the many pro-skeptic flaws he had noted in the classification systems he had hitherto studied. Rosales' work clearly pointed to a hidden prejudice common to nearly all UFO reports -- a prejudice that forced all those interested in throwing some light on the topic of UFOlogy to adopt a point-of-view that was aggressively alien to the conclusions they were most interested in reaching. UFO proponents, through no fault of their own, </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">were being forced to adopt a skeptical point-of-view or risk becoming the often obvious targets of accusations that included failure due to irresponsible scientific behavior, the use of nonsensical applications of logic, denigrating and insulting prejudice directed at both education and nature, and -- often the most wounding accusation of all -- the poorly calculated and common reliance on mere stupidity to establish a valid conclusion, all of which, Tsoukalos was certain, was primarily the result of the poor classification systems then in use. What Rosales had done, that only Tsoukalos, apparently, had noted, was to associate often unrelated aspects of the UFO sightings under examination with the primary incident everybody else was looking at in order to center attention away from the UFO itself. Tsoukalos saw this as the methodology of genius most necessary to realize his own self-importance while rescuing the field of UFOlogy from its own suicidal use of Hynek's Close Encounters analysis.<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The more Rosales attended his suspicions, the farther he wandered from the flying saucer itself. Rosales was very clear about his intent: "I am currently engaged in attempting to catalog most reported encounters with humanoids, entities, beings, little men, giants, MIB, creatures, amphibians, reptilians, grays etc. So far I have over 10,000 cases in my files, many known, many not so well known. I have translated many from all corners of the globe. I think this study is vital for future researchers and for UFO historians."<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To some extent, Rosales was also unconcerned with "the truth," an allegedly spontaneous factor that Hynek, ever the tactician, was forced to accept as unquestionable. "I obviously do not believe every single story," Rosales insists. "But I believe all stories must be told. Many are first hand reports, others are just anecdotes, but all are included." This was a point-of-view that Tsoukalos thought was absolutely delicious. He, too, didn't much enjoy trying to tell the difference between a true tale of some import and a bucket of cow spit. He wanted to leave that unimportant bit of muffin doggerel to those very few UFOlogists who might someday expose themselves in court. Frankly, he doesn't care much about "the truth" either.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The Close Encounter classifications that Rosales naturally married his humanoid studies to widened the scope of both databases considerably. He wasn't merely looking at the Encounters alone as Hynek did; he was trying to hunt down a whole new type of animal, one that Hynek wasn't really interested in looking at. Rosales' classifications included contacts in which "an entity or humanoid is seen inside or on top of an object or unidentified aircraft", "is seen entering or exiting a UFO", "is seen in the immediate vicinity of a UFO", "is seen in the same area where UFOs or unknown objects have been reported", "is seen alone, without related UFO activity", is seen as a result of "direct contact or interaction between a witness or witnesses and a humanoid or entity, either involuntary, as a result of a forced abduction, or as a voluntary contact", is seen in association with "a report of an alleged crash or forced landing of a UFO with recovery of its occupants, or when an anomalous entity is captured or killed either by a witness or military personnel", is seen in association with "a 'psychic' contact between entities or humanoids, but during which the entity or humanoid is not necessarily seen" (which is definitely <em>The Saucerologist's</em> favorite classification), and (finally, and encompassing almost every anomaly imaginable), is seen during "an incident in which the situation is so uncanny that it doesn’t fit any of the previous classifications", allowing the hypothetical eyewitness to make whatever claim his little heart desires. This, of course, for the very first time, allowed Tsoukalos the opportunity to focus his unflagging attention on <em>EVERYTHING.</em> And that in turn gave him the freedom he was craving to call everything <em>ANYTHING.</em> And he really liked the taste of that!<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The farther away Rosales got from UFOs, the wider the scope of his database was allowed to grow. Of course, Rosales was still trapped within the self-imposed borders his system couldn't possibly escape: the whole humanoid mythos. Tsoukalos had a few ideas of his own that would allow for a complete escape from the bounds of data, but well before he was able to integrate those ideas into a very real system of organized anomalies, his research made it clear to him that another UFOlogist had already beaten him to the punch, so to speak. The classification system designed by Jacques Vallee as proposed in his books <em>"Confrontations",</em> and <em>"UFO Chronicles of the Soviet Union",</em> changed the whole world of data, and suddenly, the flying saucer became just one more little variable in a Fortean universe of everything unexplainable. Few critics, however, understood the position Vallee had forced himself to foster. From a mathematical viewpoint, he was still forced to adopt such abrasive rules of data in order to impose limitations on the statistical measures he was attempting to harness. This is because Vallee's classification system, like Hynek's, makes a number of assumptions originally designed to force the inclusion of all imaginable variables, yet nonetheless replicating the same flaws as Hynek's system: he assumes that not only are UFO witnesses honest, they are also accurate. He doubled down on the "Merciful Heavens!" column only to find himself accused of blindly preserving statistical obscurity, a charge that, sadly, is fundamentally correct. Vallee's habitual insistence that all reports are accurate and all witnesses truthful has provoked a whirlwind of scorn throughout all of the world excepting that within the bounds of UFOlogy -- which by then, he wasn't even discussing anymore. He was accused of everything from tweaking his denominators to adjusting his self-worth in order to debase the ultimate quality of his ill-gotten claims.<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Given the lengths Vallee has been forced to observe in order to explain the diversity of the sightings recorded, he should probably be forgiven for his eventual decision to chronicle so many incident case files and UFO reports that have been almost impossible to confirm or properly analyze. His book,<em> "UFO Chronicles of the Soviet Union"</em> very clearly falls into this category, as do most UFO incidents that have ever occurred in China. By accepting such diverse and eclectic claims without any application of doubt in regard to the worthiness of his witnesses, however, Vallee's work in turn forced Tsoukalos to "widen the net" insofar as the diversity of claims he needed to consider. The goal, at first, was not the development of a realistic database, it was the development of a flawless classification system -- one that would for the first time work for the UFOlogist. The system had to come first; the data itself was a secondary concern. From Tsoukalos's point of view, Vallee was on the right track. It didn't concern him at all that others might see this as a handicap. According to Tsoukalos, "we were already handicapped. I didn't give a damn about poor data at all. I still don't. <em>It simply isn't important.</em> I doubt it ever will be." Where Vallee's classification system represented a form of brilliant suicide, Tsoukalos was determined to create an integrated afterlife.<br /><br />There's no doubt that Vallee had taken a prodigious leap toward the solution Tsoukalos was looking for. He introduced the inclusion of anomalies that are not associated with UFOs in the standard methodology humans are most used to collating. To maintain an organized structure limited to UFO contacts, he lobbied to include anomalies that have been observed an insignificant number of times during UFO incidents. One example would be those anomalies that do not have lasting physical effects, such as amorphous lights or unexplained explosions. Other anomalous reports might be those in which witnesses experienced personal interaction with entities in the reality of the entities themselves. They would include near-death experiences, religious miracles and visions, and many cases of out-of-body experiences. Vallee wanted to include as well anomalies with lasting physical effects, such as some poltergeist phenomena, apports (materialized objects), and areas of flattened buffalo grass where buffalos never roam.<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Vallee even included and tracked various maneuvers by UFOs that are accompanied by a sense of transformation of reality for the percipient, as well as maneuvers that result in witnesses suffering permanent injury or death. Vallee's intention was to encompass the full range of phenomena one finds in modern literature. He acknowledged that UFOs are related in significant ways to other anomalies, and was very careful to select those that were described in the case files, regardless of import to the case itself. He clearly stated his reasoning for all to understand: "It is the rule, rather than the exception, to find significant UFO sightings preceded or followed by other anomalies, notably the poltergeist variety." Since he first designed his system, UFO research communities all over the world have adopted it. Tsoukalos, however, still saw the same flaws that were typically part of Hynek's classifications. It was impossible to step away from the errors, because they were part of the rational system defined by the mathematical impetus of group dynamics. Whatever the depth of his examinations, the system to classify them always favored the viewpoint of skeptic reasoning. In some way he had not yet realized, the process of UFO assessment itself was working in some mysterious manner against the very best minds of theoretical UFOlogy, and he couldn't grasp what the issue was, nor why it weighed so heavily on the self-determined core of scientific saucerology.<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">During a lecture intended to interest and then draft the efforts of the children in his neighborhood to watch the skies and track the movements of lights therein, an unfortunately irresponsible attempt to create his own twisted version of Arthur Conan Doyle's "Baker Street Irregulars", a group of children the fictional detective Sherlock Holmes used to gather intelligence, Tsoukalos found himself unwittingly frightening the children by declaring that it was quite possible that ghosts were most probably a UFO-related phenomenon. When two of the children started crying, he tried to bring them back into reality and calm them down somewhat, by declaring, "no, no children, it's just another little phenomenon -- ghosts might not even be associated at all; it could be anything, even werewolves for instance, or maybe vampires like Count Dracula. It's just unknown phenomena that we're talking about. How many of you know what a demon is, or a djinn? We're just talking about things we don't yet understand." </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Unfortunately, the younger children in his audience knew<em> exactly</em> what he was talking about, and they didn't even need a dictionary. Within days, Tsoukalos was being watched by neighborhood groups and even found himself trying to organize a defense against claims of child abuse, molestation and the sexual misuse of a vampire. His protestations and pleas of innocence to the parents of those children he had attempted to employ were just as successful as his attempts to explain his needs to the children had been, and he was forced to abandon both his attempts to build an intelligence apparatus from the ubiquity of children at play and his home when an anonymous ally told him how many of his neighbors had been visiting gun shows and shooting ranges and how he had become the center of their focus. It was a punch to the gut, and he ran -- he ran long and hard and about 1,209 miles far. He had failed even to define the terms of his theoretical musings. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">That failure, however, showed Tsoukalos what elements he desperately needed to include in his own classification system. He had been taken to task by the parents in his neighborhood, and was forced to explain his ramblings while on the run, literally. He caught himself screaming at one particularly energetic father of three, "it's not just werewolves, and not vampires, it can be <em>anything,</em> please! <em>Stop grabbing at my face!</em> I never said flying saucers full of demons were coming to get anybody -- I was trying <em>NOT</em> to talk about flying saucers at all, can't you see that? It can be anything, anything at all, anything you want it to be; you just gotta look at the world a little harder!" </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><em>Anything at all ...</em><br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Do you have any idea how many standard anomalies are reported each year? Thousands. <em>Even tens of thousands.</em> Do you know why? Two reasons: humans are not half as smart as we think we are, and as a species, we dearly LOVE making lists! We'll list anything on a bet, but we go list-crazy when we come up against an anomaly we can't properly define. I say we should classify<em> all anomalies</em> and add them to the UFO sightings database. <em>Who's to say they aren't associated?</em> Every zoologist in the world insists that you investigate an animal sighting first, and classify it second! </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"We should add every anomaly imaginable to our UFO listings. Let someone with more money than MUFON's yearly budget investigate it first and then tell us whether or not it's associated with UFOs. <em>Why are we all working in the dark?</em> Why do we insist on classifying a UFO sighting before we do anything else? Only suckers organize their working procedures in a manner that defunds their investigation before it's even started! That's not how you lobby a government to take on a commitment. <em>That's not even how you run your home budget! </em> Does anybody in your family classify lasagna or pizza as something that's deadly poisonous before first determining whether it is or not? Do you avoid eating pizza and lasagna simply because you've assumed for years that Mexican food isn't good for you, that it maybe gives you bad gas or something even though you've failed to honestly investigate the matter first? <em>Hell, no! </em>Sounds idiotic, doesn't it?"<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Giorgio A. Tsoukalos, you see, had finally taught himself how to lecture on the run, and he was now very much in tune with his potential (and by far most influential) audience, the paranoid, and besieged believers in government conspiracies and Bigfoot (that's right, children) and the Loch Ness Monster, and the Illuminati, and the Great Sea Serpent, and mermaids, and the giant octopus, and all of it together, and he put his thoughts and opinions and desires in the simple yet inelegantly detailed terms that any government flunky would be sure to understand:<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I know this young man in his twenties, and he told me that his parents have been trying to get him certified as a disabled entity so that he can collect social security payments. They heard something silly about it somewhere. Who knows where..." <em>and he was talking in the now, the altogether, and he's on stage and he's telling people exactly what they need to hear...</em></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><em><br /></em> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"His mother drives him to all of his appointments, and fills out all of his paperwork, so he doesn't have to do much except go see the doctor, and certify his existence at whatever Social Security field office is next on his list." </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><em>And he truly loves it, telling people who need to know how troublesome the world can be, how energetic and electric man needs to become if he wants to survive on this weird Earth, in a strange little village without walls, in a universe where it pays to get drunk first and then work out the quirks and the kinks in the system that they'd never understand, and could never reason with or become influential with or even for God's sake observe just a pinch full of the fish and the frogs and the strange forever stuff dropping and bouncing out of the sky.</em></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />"At one time or another, this young man has tried to substantiate bipolar disorder, alcohol addiction, addiction to OxyContin, the inability to maintain social functioning, the persistent inability to concentrate, ADHD, repeated episodes of decompensation, excessive fatigue, short term and long term memory loss, Benedryl addiction, various retention disorders, autism, Asperger’s Syndrome, the desire for a sexy looking kitchen, the need to scream in anger at the universe and its far too general inhibitions, bouts of depression, manic incapacitation, anxiety, blurred vision, severe headaches, numbness in his extremities ..."<em></em></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><em>... and all the words just start running together, which is fine, he thinks, because none of it makes any sense anyway -- it doesn't have to, because the perfect classification system for the perfectly imperfect human race doesn't demand sense, it just demands that you open up your head in some weird, backwards, Neanderthal brain surgery clinic where all of the patients are being taught to recognize the unreal and the irresponsible and the worthless and putting it all into the flying saucers, along with that panoply of stolen youth and gangrenous education.</em></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"...schizoaffective disorders, various other personality disorders, carpal tunnel syndrome, depth perception problems, and even more of the schizophrenic, paranoid and other functional psychotic disorders. The primary difficulty that he faces, however, has nothing at all to do with the alleged <em>symptomology</em> of his supposed disabilities. The clear fact is that he has never in his entire life held down a real job, like normal adults do, and therefore he has limited means to collect on any Social Security benefits in the first place. Not that it matters. Every interview he has, both legal and medical, begins exactly the same way."<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><em>It begins in sadness and terror and the ribald jousting of pathetic gardeners with their tubes of secret fertilizers and unbending Neapolitan joy suddenly turning into ancient aliens with their energy sticks and bouillon cubes and their majestic spacecraft that mankind in this forever dream of ours can only imagine in the dark and during the ghostly days ...</em><br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"He admits right at the start that there's really nothing much wrong with him. He's just a very, very lazy man with parents who are simply not very bright. He apologizes for taking up their valuable time, but he's nonetheless going to have to insist on turning in all of that paperwork and seeing the whole process through to its already predetermined outcome. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"The truth is, as long as he keeps his appointments, meets with all the doctors and psychologists and continues to file all the necessary bullshit paperwork that his Mom has already filled out for him in advance, his parents are going to continue letting him use the family car whenever he wants it." <em>That's all. It's all for the car, and the need to move faster than the poor schmuck in front of you. That's all it's ever been.</em> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Look, the point I'm trying to make here is an easy one. This young man's primary goal is to persuade his parents to let him use the car whenever he wants. Now, in order to reach that goal, he has to throw in from his side of the equation a whole bundled package full of absolute crap. By doing this, he is given unfettered use of his Mom's 20-year old station wagon."</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><em>Don't kid yourself; sacrifice is always easy. Getting someone to notice it is hard.</em></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Well, <em>our</em> primary goal is to get the attention of the federal government long enough to stop their petty whining about 75-150 UFO sightings a year not being sufficient for them to sacrifice the time and the money necessary to finance and carry through a proper by God investigation. To meet that goal, we're also going to have to toss in a whole boatload of crap in order to up the ante. <em>And this new classification program will accomplish that.</em> While its success may very well depend on a lot of unexplained symptoms that are quite probably not even associated with our basic and most fundamental concern -- <em>the necessity for a more robust system of well-funded UFO investigations</em> -- that association can't be summarily dismissed by skeptics without <em>a more robust system of well-funded investigations.</em> Hell, it's impossible for us to lose!"<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><em>When your bottom line has no bottom line, there's no such thing as the bottom of the barrel. There's also no such thing as raising the bar for everybody's anybody.</em></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Plus, we gain the gratitude of all those folks who are lobbying for a proper investigation of all those other strange and unexplained anomalies, things like the Loch Ness Monster, Bigfoot, or <em>even the existence of werewolves in Wyoming.</em> And I assure you, as long as we don't go around freaking out a bunch of silly little kids who probably wouldn't amount to much of an intelligence gathering organization anyway, I really don't think it's possible for <em>anybody</em> to lose. We just report everything and call it a UFO. We're very nearly doing that now just among ourselves." </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><em>When NOTHING is ever identified, the vulnerability and the cruelty and the selfish unreasoning fascism of the capital 'U' disappears. It's the only fool-proof UFO classification system that there is. Every other system that anybody has ever come up with has always favored the skeptics. This one, for the first time in history, does not. The only way anybody will ever know EXACTLY what it is that they saw is by putting every fish in the ocean in a great multi-setting blender -- the kind they make dreams and daiquiris with. Plug it into a nuclear powered generator, flip the switch to ON, and when nothing is left except seafood puree, clam jelly, sea monkey stew, and shark fin soup, start passing out the celebratory paper cups, telling everyone,</em> "it's fish." <em>Welcome one and all to the study of statistics by the Dixie Cup Corporation, Ltd. Welcome to the Second Law of Thermodynamics. Welcome to sweet mother entropy.</em></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When your database includes everything in the ocean, nobody will ever fault you for insisting before God that you know EXACTLY what you saw. <em>"It's fish ..."</em> Smile for the camera.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"It's an absolutely brilliant solution and absolutely everybody profits! All I've got to say is <em>Hallelujah!</em> Somebody better hurry up and toss me a copy of <em>'Ripley's Believe It or Not'</em> before this crazy hazy inspiration goes to waste!" </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We are on a roll, people; <em>the sudden increase in speed is not due to an influx of energy, and things don't always appear closer in the mirror;</em> sometimes by God they <em>are</em> closer, and it usually happens while you're standing cold and alone in the middle of a poor judgment decision.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><em>"It's fish ..."</em></span></div>
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<span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b style="background-color: black;">This is a Saucer Press International Publication</b></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15110659214862886339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273907814703568880.post-22967772667045701972017-04-29T19:15:00.000-07:002017-04-29T19:15:02.712-07:00More Mysteries and Fewer Answers: Roswell, New Mexico in 1947<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>Mack Brazel's Tale: Desert or Damnation?</b></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i><b>"Why in God's name would he shoot somebody?"</b></i></span></h2>
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: justify;">This is Part 3 of our Bits and Pieces of Roswell Story. If you're just now coming into it, you should probably start at Part 1 below : "New Revelations Add to the Collection of Mysteries in Roswell, 1947". This one is Part 3.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In pursuit of the truth, Roger Craggett has been willing to call out an entire subsection of the population, particularly in Roswell, a friendly little city trying really hard, and for the most part succeeding, to create a tourist industry based on an old traffic incident that was poorly reported at the time. They still talk about it, even though the version they celebrate the most has been outlined in glitter and those little glow-in-the-dark star stickers they used to sell at Walmart. It tends to subtract some from the overall credibility index. They've worked at it pretty hard, though, and they probably deserve something for the effort. <i>So you should go there someday.</i> Buy yourself an alien slushee or something. Pig out on one of those 26th Rib Sandwiches instead of grabbing at another Big Mac. Support the local economy, for God's sake. Dress up and walk in a parade. <i>Do something completely unselfish for a change.</i> Probably best to avoid the star-sushi, though. It can get pretty damn hot in Roswell, and sea food can turn so quickly. Now then, what were we talking about? <i> Oh, yeah ... </i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">SPI SANTA FE NM -- <i>In the beginning there was just the doubt... </i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Now that's a phrase we tend to bandy around a bit, but it's still the God-honest truth.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The original picture of the world is a secret that nobody ever truly realizes, and it is why our memories are a firm expression of that secrecy. Hardly ever does an account of fact remain unchanged through time. Sometimes, it becomes unrecognizable, just like any other secret in this world. It is the one truth that the entire world is well-aware of, yet fails to discuss. There are secrets. And secrets can explain everything ... </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>But only when your fellow conspirators are under oath and ready to spill everything for immunity from prosecution.</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ardajio Jonas, it turns out, has no real use for secrecy of any kind, and so he enjoys talking a great deal about his friend, Patient-X, a fascinating gentleman he once met who died and came back almost fifty years later with a young man's mind in an old man's crippled body. When interest is shown, Jonas can go on for hours. Secrets have always accompanied death and for that reason as well, he just lights up when the environmental awareness catches fire. It's not often that a man meets someone who truly affects his outlook on life and how he chooses to live that life after such a man has gone. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Jonas retired almost immediately following Patient-X's unsettling and somewhat lonely death, having watched the old man's body give out in mute surrender to the weakness and the pain that so often accompanies the rigors of awakening thoughts within a living body with organs turned to earth and stone. Jonas, however, now has a new thirst for life that the old man gave him before he succumbed to the darkness and the secrecy of death. He insists that he has a hunger for an improvement to the quality of his life that he lacked before meeting Patient-X. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"That old man spent nearly two-thirds of his life in a miserable coma. He valued every second of his waking life, and I find that admirable. But a lot of people place great value on their lives -- it's not a particularly rare facet of a man's personality or even his existence. What I found remarkable was the man's very real gratitude. You'd think a man who had been effectively unconsciousness for so much of his life would probably feel some bitterness about it. <i>There was no bitterness in that man at all.</i> He had some regrets, but these were primarily the type of regrets that a man has in his later years, regrets that maybe he didn't take advantage of the blessings in his life as much as he could have. He had no real anger or sense of loss, only self recrimination. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"To some extent he was critical of how he had responded to the life he was given in his youth. None of that, however, had any effect whatsoever on the unconditional gratitude, the thankfulness that he felt at the end of his days. He thought of his life as a wonderful gift, and I believe that everyone who knew him was affected by that attitude. I know that I certainly was. I won't ever forget him."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ardajio Jonas promised himself that for the remainder of his days, he would try very hard to live his life to the fullest, thankful for each and every moment allotted to him. And to be thankful, he decided, was to have fewer regrets. As a result, he quit the job that he had never really grown to love, and travelled for a year or so, living off of the retirement savings the federal government, the U.S. Navy and the Veterans Administration had given him the opportunity to sock away each month for the past thirty-seven years. It didn't amount to much, but it gave him the freedom to choose, and that, he believes, made it a far more valuable commodity than what he could reasonably expect to purchase with it. So he travelled a bit, not particularly certain in his mind what he wanted to do.with the time fate had left to him. He taught himself how to paint for no particular reason, but discovered in the process the value a man can find in the lazy, yet feverish afterglow left behind by a runaway existence that lies nonetheless imprisoned by its dedication to self-actualized contentment. It wasn't so much the painting that he learned to value as it was the drifting away from himself when he focused his attentions on the sober act of creation that happened outside of himself. At such times, he disappeared, the works of art and committment channeling through him, not originating or deliberating within him. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The irony at the end of the day left him truly and sometimes viciously flushed. <i>He slept like a child again when the carnage within faded. </i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Jonas is a lucky man in that fate blessed him with a talent that others had the need to share. Because of this, he has managed to create a private marketplace through which he could filter those works he no longer had the desire to keep around him like the sad poems of adolescent dreamers with corrupted hearts. This provided everything he needed when the desire to wander wrapped itself around his head so tightly that he needed to resolve the matter with action. He not only had the desire to travel, at times, he now had the means to do so.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And it is for this reason and this reason alone that upon returning to Santa Fe at the end of cruise that took him and over a thousand other souls through some of the world's richest fishing waters around the Aleutian Islands stringing off of Alaska like a net of sparkling glass floats, the first place he went was the American Legion club for a quiet unwind and a small pitcher of ice cold beer. It was early in the spring of 2014. That same evening, while he was partaking of that quiet unwind, a young man by the name of Roger Craggett decided that he could use a quick cheeseburger and a cold beer, and this was how he met Jonas at that same, nearly deserted American Legion club in Santa Fe, New Mexico. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He told Jonas that he was once an airman with the U.S. Air Force, and had recently returned from a tour of duty outside of Istanbul, Turkey. He wasn't exactly lying; for the most part, he was telling the truth. It was, however, the truth as it stood about five years earlier. He just didn't like it when folks asked him why he was still hanging around an American Legion club with a bunch of retirees even though he was still a relatively young man. Within thirty minutes, Craggett no longer cared about that at all.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He overheard Jonas talking at the bar, and the conversation seemed interesting enough for him to buy the old man a beer. By the time Jonas got to the part of the story in which the heart and soul of Patient-X appeared to reject any sense of imposed interest outside of a few silly cartoons in the 21st century world he had awakened in, Craggett was burning alive with interest, like it was an electrical storm sparking up somewhere in the back of his head.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>But Jonas was just getting started ...</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I was advised by the Director of the coma ward that it wasn't a good idea to tire the old man out with a bunch of questions that he may not even know the answers to. He was extremely frail, and the doctors had been very clear that he could not survive for very much longer. It would have been cruel to hasten that end with a bunch of silly old questions that couldn't possibly have any real effect on the man's future. They were very sensible. Wise men, in my opinion, and it was obvious that they cared about the old man a great deal. But who wouldn't, y'know? There were some pretty insistent signs about that any normal man would find it damn hard to ignore and keep quiet through. <i>And that was me.</i> I wasn't just hooked, though, 'cause what he started talking about required some kind of response. I had to ask him a few questions 'cause he needed me to ask him a few questions. And that can make all the difference in the world."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As such things go, it had become clear to Jonas that Patient-X had been cursed by the subject of his lost years, but this wasn't necessarily what disturbed him the most. There were memories that the old man needed to reconcile with his advanced age, and this was unexpected. That crippled and dying old man with that bright and shining and unbelievable mind was driven by an open wound in his heart to bind himself to the harsh and disconsolate pain that drove him into a world of silence and dark corners, and the revelations this conversation eventually brought to light carried with it the stain of unexpected repercussions. According to Ardajio Jonas, the discussions of the day had rested in an uncomfortable valley during which both men were trying to bring up another subject, any subject, which was a necessity once the NickToons broadcast block of the day had ended, this being the only television screening the ancient relic seemed to get any real enjoyment from. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Possibly just to fill the silence, something he understandably had an obvious aversion for, he said with a suddenness like it had come right out of the blue sky, "did any of those Braceros I was trucking up to Albuquerque ever make it? 'Cause I had the impression that Mack thought every one of 'em was all dead and gone, an' the thing is, you could never tell with that guy. I'm pretty sure he had no problem killin' though. He once told me that his uncle had shot and killed Pat Garrett, and I never knew anybody who could be so proud of something like that, but he sure seemed to be."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>"Who are you talkin' about?"</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Ol' Brazel ... Mack Brazel. Some folks called him 'Billy', but for most, he was just 'Mack'".</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Mack Brazel? Yeah -- I know about him; he died a few years back. 'Bout twenty years ago, I think. Coulda been a little longer. It's a bit hard to recollect, but it was in the newspapers."</span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Some folks called him 'Billy', </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">but for most, </span><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">he was just 'Mack'.</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Huh ... Well, he was the last person I ever had any real connection to before I went under for good. Y'know, I was lyin' there in the dirt, and I couldn't move, I couldn't even <i>think</i> to move 'cause everything was so dry and slow, and even though he came back an' told me what was goin' on an' what he did, I couldn't turn my head to look, and the not knowin' was what I hated the most. That not knowin' was bad, real bad. Y'see, I heard that old Army Colt of his go off a coupl'a times, an' I've been real bothered by that sound for a long time now. Too long."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Patient-X didn't move -- not much anyway, according to Jonas, who immediately qualified that estimate of the man's silence and his still being. "But when his eyes cocked a certain way, it meant he was real busy inside. That look was unmistakable and at the time it was all over his face." </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"There were moments when I was in the coma that I was aware of my surroundings. I couldn't move, of course, but I could weigh things in my head, an' I tell you, those Braceros were mighty heavy. I always felt bad about what happened, and I'm not even sure what that was."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>"What exactly do you remember?"</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I remember takin' a short cut across from the old dirt road that ran past the J. B. Foster sheep ranch where ol' Mack was foreman. We got to know each other during the war 'cause we went after a lot of the same jobs. I figured he was littered with some mental pox half his life or somethin' and couldn't fight. He must have started drinkin' himself into the grave to kill time. Somethin' like that anyway. Who the hell knows? I couldn't go to war, 'cause I was lazy, and really didn't give a goddamn about what was goin' on all over them Jap islands. The coupl'a times my name came up, I went to old Mexico for a spell an' jus' changed my name before I come back. Did that a coupl'a times, which is why most folks never really knew my real name. But I got to know Mack well enough. There was times he could be a real shit kicker, like anybody else -- me included -- <i>but I never figured him for a murderer ...</i></span></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">I remember takin' a short cut across from the old dirt<br />road that ran past the J. B. Foster sheep ranch.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"The thing is, how much does anybody know about anybody else? We're stuck here for a very few years and it's hardly enough time to learn anything 'bout anything, an' so we got a lotta questions when we got the time to sit an' think a spell. An' I sure had my share of sittin' an' thinkin' time." This was the point where Jonas flipped the video record on his cell phone, and after it focused on Patient-X, he smiled some, but didn't say anything to indicate that Ardajio should turn it off, and he was well aware by that time that the cell phone was a video recorder as well. He just didn't seem to care. He didn't seem to care about a whole lot of things that generally bug the rest of the world. Maybe that's not always a fine and good thing, but it worked for him ... mostly.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"We was nex' to the desert on one side and Foster's ranch on t'other when the axle on my truck snapped. That's what I figured it was -- <i>the axle.</i> It about flipped us when it happened, an' I know it roll'd at least twice. I went right through the windshield an' on one of them rolls that truck came down hard on my legs. An' I was lucky at that 'cause back where the Mexicans was I'd long before put half of an old engine and pretty much the whole back end to a busted up '37 Chevy, an' when we flipped it musta been like missiles in there. God knows how anything would survive. Didn't have much time or steady a head to think about anything much 'cept 'damn, I'm dead now' which is about when ever'thing else all around me went dark brown and I just left the world for a spell."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Patient-X was quiet for a good length of time -- time enough for the deep sigh that was picked up on the cell phone, and then some. "I came back to a little bit of awareness, and that sad story seemed to go on just forever. The thing is, I was in and out of pain, tremendous pain, but I could hardly breathe, couldn't even sweat an' that's what my whole life was. It gives the world a whole new flavor and color, and I can tell you now that I know why our visions of Hell are hot and dark red and brown and there just isn't any real steady thought outside of the true desire, that heavy, heavy need to just die and let everything go away. But you're scared and fearful that the blackness in our whole forever after is just gonna be so much worse, an' so you hang on to the pain, as much of it as you can and you just want to weep in your own Hell, an' I was in and out of it. And I lived and thought I'd die there for a whole other lifetime. </span></span><i><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">T</span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">he ver</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">y thing ...</span></i></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I don't know how many times I heard that ol' side Colt of Mack's fire off, but it was at least a coupl'a times. I did hear somethin' else, though -- an' there ain't no doubt what that somethin' else was. Ol' Mack was sobbin', and it was a heavy, heavy cryin' that I heard, an' I seriously doubt any of those Braceros would have been cryin' without also screaming for help from somebody. 'Specially since he shot at least a couple of 'em."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>"Why in God's name would he shoot somebody?"</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"When he came an' sat down next to me he said they looked so bad, he'd never seen anyone look so broken up and hurt so bad in his whole life. Brazel called it mercy killin'. He said he'd feel less than human if he didn't do somethin' for 'em, but it hurt him inside so much. An' when he bent over me, it looked like he was in very real pain. I hope I never see a man look like that again. 'Cause I was pretty sure I was just about to die."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Of course, Patient-X did not die, but he sure came close. There was contemplation on his features, so it's not surprising that Ardajio Jonas would have silently waited for something else. But Patient-X didn't say anything at all for the longest time. It turns out that there wasn't much more for him to say. He mentioned that part of the in and out of his consciousness was Mack Brazel trying to clean him up some. He got worried for a bit when Mack said his leg looked almost as bad as a couple of the Braceros looked, but then he lost his thoughts again and the world spun and went out for him. That had to have been a mercy.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I'm gonna take you down to the Army base; mebbe their doctors can help you more'n I can. I gotta tell you, boy, I don't think you're gonna make it, but your a white man an' I ain't gonna treat you like some Mexican deportee. Me an' my family'll pray for you, so mebbe God'll see fit to bring you through it or to put you down, but it'll all be up to Him, not me. I'll pray for your Braceros, too, but I 'spect they'll be dependin' more on whatever prayers they may have done 'fore today.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Don't you worry. I'll drop you at the base first, mebbe that clinic they got, and then I'll come back here to give them boys a proper burial -- at least until their families take 'em back to Mexico. I'll have to leave your truck here, but I expect it'll get cleaned up after I explain to the Sheriff why I shot three of yer Mexicans."</span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">I'm gonna take you down to the Army base;<br />mebbe their doctors can help you more'n I can.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">According to Patient-X, he spent the next few dozen years in and out of awareness and trying to reconcile what he remembered with the sound of those gunshots and that weeping. Unfortunately, he was never going to find any real relief on that score. Ardajio exhausted every possible avenue of research and was unable to find a single record, referral, or rumor to even suggest that a bunch of Braceros were killed on their way to reasonable employment. He probably thought it didn't matter so much, and easily convinced the right side of his brain that the </span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">whole thing was probably a lost cause. He nonetheless looked everywhere he could possibly imagine to find some mention of those Braceros, doing so more for Patient-X than for himself. When the old man finally did pass away in the early autumn of 2010, Jonas pretty much quit looking for any of it. As far as he was concerned it was just another end to another story. It was also a resolution he had grown to know intimately; by the time the winter months started crackling with lightning and the dry freeze that came along with the blown sands, there was nothing left to consider or talk about except the story. Patient-X, without fanfare, had continued his journey through the universe within the same pattern of existence that had brought him of out of the coma: he died alone and in silence. Jonas' desire to help ease the older man's restless heart was no longer necessary.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Now Roger Craggett, you have to understand, knew exactly who Mack Brazel was, but this was a story about Brazel he had never heard before, a story that had nothing at all to do with the alleged flying saucer he was supposed to have discovered the very same day as his encounter with that bunch of dead Braceros and a broken up white man. He couldn't have said why, at that moment, but he had a feeling this story was going to be a desperate one for a lot of people. All by himself, he felt as if he could almost blow away some of the secrecy of this world with a single breath, scattering the desert sands and unveiling a whole new universe beneath it. He decided right then that he was going to find those Braceros and determine for himself if Mack Brazel had discovered and been forced to keep secret a wrecked flying saucer and a bunch of dead aliens, or the wreckage of an old produce truck and a bunch of dead Mexicans.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At that very same moment, he understood exactly the precision so inherent to one man's illumination.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The first step to wiping away the secrecy overlaying the Roswell flying saucer claims was to walk the area, the original locale of this alleged story of dead Mexicans. Craggett reasoned that Mack Brazel would have never gathered up all ten bodies, transported them to another location, and buried them in secret. Accepting that what he had supposedly told Patient-X his real intentions were as basically a truthful account, he concluded that Brazel would have most likely buried the bodies very close to where they had originally died. He clearly suggested as much in the story Ardajio Jonas had told, suggesting as well that the burial would most likely only be a temporary one, that family and friends in Mexico would eventually reclaim their missing sons and fathers. None of this was borne out by the evidence, however, so Craggett assumed that the bodies were still buried in the desert, probably near the original accident site.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">According to Roger Craggett, he spent the next five weeks looking for the mass grave he fully expected to uncover. He was not successful. It's possible, he reasoned, that he was looking in the wrong place, so he went back to Ardajio Jonas, who showed him all of the recordings he was in possession of. They discussed the matter with other witnesses at the long-term care facility where Patient-X had awakened and then died. Being a thorough researcher, Craggett exhausted every possible resource he could find, including what additional witnesses have discussed in relation to the reports of a wrecked flying saucer. He reasoned that if one story had been based on another, there would still be common elements to both, and that common element may well be location, location, location.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So Craggett went and bought himself one of those metal detectors that old white men in bermuda shorts and bright legs the color of fish bellies will sometimes pick up in their retirement so they can comb the beaches for something a little more entertaining than sand castles and old towels soaking up the sea salts and the hermit crabs, a handful of old keys and hunks of bent up metal screws and washers rattling about and telling the world that this is what retirement's like when you've got little enough to give and nothing to do except dream of pirates and treasures to be found. And then he hit the desert with both feet burning in his old sneakers. Over the course of the next two months, Craggett checked every site even remotely associated with the Roswell crash stories and found nothing, just as every other investigator has also found nothing. There was no sign of an accident, no sign of burials, no sign that something large had plowed into the earth at high speed, and no sign of anything that might indicate an actual event of some importance may have occurred. In his despair, he decided that there was only one possible solution that incorporated every known crash site and yet started with the assumption that some type of incident actually took place: every known crash site was wrong. Dead wrong.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As you can probably guess, this negativity was not a good place for an obsessive man to start from -- not if he had any hopes of actually discovering something. The assumption that the answer can only be found in the one place that has never been proposed and still meets all the requirements dictated by Patient-X, i.e., off a dirt road near the Foster ranch on one side and the desert on the other, didn't exactly limit the focus of his search, especially given the fact that those requirements had to be applicable to the region in June 1947 and therefore might be completely different now. He was forced to reexamine every source available, recover every scrap of information possible that would enable Craggett to locate the site of the events discussed therein. And just like every other investigator who found it necessary to backtrack and reassess, he discovered nothing. <i>Again.</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Thus ends our Part Three...</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This work is the culmination of </span><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><i>The Saucerologist's</i> </b></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">most complex and lengthy investigation to date. As a result, the necessity for travelling throughout the States of New Mexico, Maryland, Georgia, and Utah to conduct interviews and to access numerous archives of personal records has increased significantly the expenses and time required to complete the task. While it's true that we would prefer not to incur such a taxing condition, we would nonetheless be far more dissatisfied were we to ignore such obstacles that fate has placed before us. Expenses are relatively easy to ignore. Doing so, however, tends to increase the relative effect of the time we have invested in our pursuit of the truth. </span><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><i>The Saucerologist </i></b></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">therefore finds it necessary to apologize for the increased time between the varied Parts of our present examination of the alleged crash of a flying saucer north of Roswell, New Mexico. </span><i><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>The Saucerologist</b> </span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">apologizes for the sometimes inconsistent and untimely character of our publishing timetable. We are genuinely working towards a more palatable and consistent solution and hope to reduce our present consumption of minutes in the day. Please remember as well that ...</span></div>
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<span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Part Four will be published right here in a bit of time measured out by clockwatchers in steps of quality found primarily at the end of grace! And always remember:</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>This is a Saucer Press International Publication</b></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15110659214862886339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273907814703568880.post-54733966017267842192017-02-23T20:05:00.003-08:002017-03-20T12:56:25.740-07:00More Revelations About Roswell, 1947<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>Army Point-of-View Proves Catastrophic for Disc Theory</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;"><i><b>
<span style="background-color: black; color: red;">"Yeah, this is it -- this is the flying disc"</span></b></i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The narrated discussions presented in the article below have been fact-checked by our friend Roger Craggett. No claims have been made, nor truth established without his prior approval and unconditional support for what has been herein expressed.</span><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial";">This is Part 2 of our Bits and Pieces of Roswell. If you're just now coming into it, you should probably start at Part 1 below : "New Revelations Add to the Collection of Mysteries in Roswell, 1947".</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">SPI SANTA FE NM -- "No, no, no, the belief in UFOs is <i>not </i>fucking ridiculous!" </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You can hear the deranged smile in his voice. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"The people who believe in UFOs are. <i>And they're pretty obvious about it.</i> I don't have any problem with the concept. It has resulted in a fairly large number of absolutely wonderful science fiction novels and stories and movies and even T.V. series, some of which can genuinely be considered classics.<i> The concept is fine.</i> It's when people start <i>believing </i>in the concept that the insanity walks into the room. What these idiots call evidence is not evidence. Clearly. When you read a witness report that is fictional, you don't call it <i>evidence. </i>You call it what it is: <i>a joke.</i> Except in this case, nobody's laughing and a lot people are getting irate and nervous, so it's a bad joke. <i>Got it?"</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">According to Roger Craggett, the worst joke of all is the entire Roswell UFO mythos. In his opinion, poor storytellers have mindlessly created folktales from first person accounts they have little ability to make credible. And <i>credibility,</i> Craggett insists, is the only part of the story that matters.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Throughout history, you've got a small handful of men and women who achieved great honor and fame due to their remarkable ability to render believable stories about the Gods and Goddesses that gave meaning and purpose to the lives of common men. The social status of such people, for probably the first time in history, became either irrelevant or possible to surmount. Names like <i>Aesop</i> and <i>Homer</i> come to mind. Aesop was a Thracian slave, while Homer, a blind man from Chios, was entirely dependent on the good will of others. And this handicapped charity case would eventually be recognized as the greatest of Greek storytellers, a reputation that enabled others to incorporate his character and his personality into their own poetic works, an act of creative editing that would eventually see Homer interacting with the same Gods and Goddesses that were believed to govern, or at least contribute to, the fate of all men on Earth and in the underworld." In the process, of course, the folklorist himself was lost to time, an admired beacon pointing the way to Mount Olympus throughout the centuries as the once-radiant source eventually vanished and melted away. But his stories became immortal, shining in the firmament of eternity like <i>flowering stars.</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The construction of folklore became a much admired field of human endeavor, and schools were founded for the purpose of training those with the gift to take advantage of their natural talents in a world that bestowed great respect and often riches upon the greatest of its poets, its dramatists, its storytellers. They helped to create some of the first schools in ancient western history, precursors to colleges of rhetoric and drama and later of law. Many were open to anybody who could establish the talent and the natural grace demanded of such men of respect and grand will. The only requirement was the true desire to control the the fate of one's world using only those gifts bestowed by the Gods without consideration of status, wealth, or which potentate you may or may not have pledged your blood and your allegiance to. This in turn led to the tradition of the bards that contributed so much to the constantly mingling cultures of Western Europe, a tradition that is justifiably lauded for preserving the true history of the western world during a period of such warfare and strife that it threatened to devour Europe in a Dark Ages that could have destroyed every other tradition and culture rising on its own merits.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;">And the worst joke of all </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">is the entire Roswell Mythos</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Not everybody, of course, is gifted with such talents. Those without the gift, however, were not stupid, and according to Roger Craggett, they discovered the means by which ordinary men, men without the natural talent for rhetoric, men without any native ability to apply to the tales of their tribe could still hijack the fame and the blessings they could not otherwise earn. They proved </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">that it was possible for men without the poet's breath on their brow to still achieve for themselves and their families the respect and the admiration that had previously been accorded only to those harboring within their hearts and their minds and their aspirations those legends and tales of ancient Gods, Goddesses, spirits, djinn, demons, and all manner of natural and unnatural forces believed to interact with humanity.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Oh, yeah! But there was only one way these untalented and lazy orators could collect the respect and the admiration they lusted after, yet didn't deserve!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>"They had to put themselves in the story..."</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Thus was born the "eyewitness" of our fantastic literature, the scourge of logic, poetry, and natural histories everywhere. "The eyewitness gave birth to the <i>hoax</i> and to the <i>fraudulence </i>of modern UFOlogy. Those unable to create had to attract attention, and they eventually determined that such attention could be demanded by those who insist, 'I'm not very good at describing these things, but I did see it, and that gives me the authority others lack!'</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"And the world bought it, because the 'eyewitness' presents a point-of-view that the world is naturally attracted to. Those other guys have nothing -- no authority at all that common men can rely on. They want to believe, because the experience of belief is more powerful and more sustaining than that of mere 'entertainment', and belief outside of the recompense of trust due to cultural conditioning is easily supported by <i>witnesses. </i>That's the true dividing line between the Old Testament and the New; it's the whole point behind the stories of the saints and the martyrs. Y'see, Christianity had the need for witnesses to the Kingdom of God, just as the Apostles were witnesses to the redemption of Christ that relies on the conquering and the subsequent destruction of true death.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Within our Gospels creep the worms of this false authority. Look to the doubts of Thomas. If they are not conditioned and molded to modestly create the scion of belief where such belief is either impossible or fails to inspire with the true breath of language, then they are nothing more than the pinions driving a sharp-edged tale with no purpose to it at all, and having no purpose should not make pretense of it. The doubts of Thomas were constructed to <i>persuade</i> -- nothing more. They add nothing to the resurrection story and nothing in that story suffers in their absence. Of course, these are religious tenets, invented to separate a man from himself. UFOlogy, like the tales of Bigfoot or the lost and painful screams of Picklenose John, is merely a lark's tongue aspiring to be the well-paying career of a celebrity. It's just sickening dishonesty."</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The hearts of men have been conditioned by life and by the "world observed" to doubt the existence of authority presupposed. That is precisely why rhetoric is an art form that uniformly rejects the mindless creations of a poor storyteller crouching before his desire to effect belief amongst the most gullible and the naive. Along the way, such fools tend to forget that <i>authority,</i> being a creature in awe of the impossible, cannot, in true nature, exist. It is for this reason, and this reason alone, that <i>art </i>was created. When performed well, it deserves our admiration and respect -- and, yes, our love and our belief as well. When it is done poorly, it deserves the weight of our criticism, but also a measure of our respect for the attempt. It takes courage to conduct one's private, fevered orchestrations in public, and it is appropriate to acknowledge that. But the <i>eyewitness</i> hijacks belief by adding his own contempt for the value of traditional arts into the recipe that his desire for recognition and fame has inspired him to produce. Such a man deserves our scorn and earns for himself the reputation of the fool and the buffoon. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"That defines the whole Roswell UFO thing pretty solidly. You've got a bunch of poor and dishonest storytellers trying to establish the religious persona of flying saucers and dead aliens using nothing more than pure invention. You gotta believe that it just isn't the honest to God truth that's gonna make you into a celebrity and get you that low interest rate on a third mortgage! Or, Hell, buy your little girl a new car. Or get your big girl a vacation to the south of France. And it's all nothing but a hoax! <i>It's goddamn pathetic...</i></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;">And the whole thing's nothing but a hoax!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"In the America we all know, unfortunately, we don't doubt our eyewitnesses; we are trusting in our nature and therefore we find the multiplicity of lies abhorrent and without even a single measure of worth in all human professions and all fields of endeavor excepting politics alone. That is why so many of our prisons and penitentiaries are so overcrowded. It is why America has a higher per capita rate of incarceration than any other country on Earth. It is why so many of the men and women we lock up in those many prisons and penitentiaries that we maintain to best preserve our communities, our property, and our lives are</span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><i style="color: white; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">innocent </i><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">o</span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">f the crimes they were tried, convicted, and sentenced for having committed. You see, we Americans have not yet learned the primal lesson of the eyewitness: </span><i style="color: white; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">a whole lot of times, they're simply wrong. And quite often they are simply wrong on purpose.</i></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Well, I don't pay a lot of attention to liars, and I don't intend to recognize fantasy. <i>That's why UFOs piss me off ..." </i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Roger Craggett is particularly incensed by the whole Roswell flying saucer mythos. "What the Hell's the appeal? What possible significant mystery could ever exist that the entire world would ignore for thirty years after the fact? If you want to understand this idiocy, you have to examine the context -- the beginnings and the ends of every question that's been presented. When you've done that, then come talk to me." </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Unfortunately, as we've already discussed, Craggett has never been very good at trying to define, measure, and filter out the beginnings and the ends of anything. He is so wrapped up in the contents of the present, in the practice and the conditions of his livelier years, that he tends to overlook the motivations of a man gazing out in some confusion from inside of an issue he longs to understand. Motivations speak to the whys and the wherefores of the matter at hand, and these elements are far more likely to describe the anxieties of a man who begins an activity, and who determines from the very beginning the course and the directionality of his own personal universe than those conditions that have never been credibly observed or experienced by any other individual anywhere else on this planet. It's unsurprising, really, that he considers any debate of fact in regard to UFOs a singular perversion having more in common with necrophilia than any genuine desire to determine the truth thus far undiscovered. It's a dead horse. <i>Pound it.</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It has to be acknowledged, however, that where the Roswell case is concerned, the beginning is so muddied and intemperate that it seems to have been sheared off of the story completely, which is something that Craggett sure as Hell did notice, even though doing so was an application of logic somewhat out of character for the man. He noticed it almost immediately, which for Craggett is a signature of distinction, a sign of brilliance in regard to an issue he would prefer to ignore. And a man, any man, will only rarely abandon and ignore the trigger of his own brilliance, which is why Craggett starts and ends every single day recognizing this same unchanging yet uncharted conviction: <i>you'll never know anything about what came down out of the skies north of Roswell, New Mexico in 1947 unless you know everything there is to know about that quietly inconsistent cowboy, Mack Brazel.</i> He found the alleged wreckage, he reported it, he issued a number of very early statements intended to define his position, and then he refused to discuss it, at least publicly, for the remainder of his life.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The basic story is commonly known around the world. Brazel found the remains of something that he thought had something to do with the flying disc mystery. The Roswell Army Air Corps released a public affairs statement that one of the discs had crashed near the base, and was in the process of being recovered. Overnight that story changed. Suddenly, according to Craggett, there was only the mistake: "it was an identification error. It was a weather balloon apparatus that had been recovered, a common enough mistake, we're so sorry, maybe next time we'll get it right. That story seemed solid enough, for a command that generally disliked stories, and we know it was well received, because it went unchanged for over thirty years until a bunch of UFO <i>flakes</i> decided that the next big deal was going to be some silly revelations of another cover-up, not a spoonful of sugar. For God's sake, after Nixon, folks were ready to believe anything -- <i>anything at all.</i> And so a bunch of greedy, dishonest idiots called themselves<i> 'eyewitnesses'</i> and sold them flying saucers at Roswell. It was just bad timing for the truth. <i>Bad timing.</i> How pathetic is that?"</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Well before he began asking his own questions about these matters, Roger Craggett already suspected that Mack Brazel was the only key to the tale told, and it was within the heart of Mack Brazel that the staid investigator would find the answers he was looking for.<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi34itx4WfZEOrtq_OhZTe0Gz-9ciMjst6a6Ffj-RNtUeY3skmMinT5rB1l9Pv1vlCZcm5TdCer-klEUCHUyKKfjCwPSLHnaMRzgRFaIxUIfKWKmpuoKpZtu142XB2xu1bCQMpDBYRPB9w/s1600/Roswell_William_Mac_Brazel1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="259" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi34itx4WfZEOrtq_OhZTe0Gz-9ciMjst6a6Ffj-RNtUeY3skmMinT5rB1l9Pv1vlCZcm5TdCer-klEUCHUyKKfjCwPSLHnaMRzgRFaIxUIfKWKmpuoKpZtu142XB2xu1bCQMpDBYRPB9w/s320/Roswell_William_Mac_Brazel1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; font-size: small;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Roger Craggett already suspected that Mack </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; font-size: small;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Brazel (above) was the only key to the tale told</span></span></td></tr>
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He was clearly the only credible witness available. If Brazel could be properly isolated and properly assessed in the right context, the whole UFO thing -- true or false -- would naturally fall into place exactly where it belongs. And Craggett was dead certain regarding what that solution would be: <i>the flying saucer would crash and fall back into the garbage dump of history just as it has always deserved.</i> It says something singular about the man to recognize that his desire to prove the fallacies inherent to the Roswell circus was more than enough reason to keep him investigating the matter and examining the men and the politics that were involved, even during those lean years when nothing at all could be established insofar as the actual history of the incident. It was frustrating, because he was rarely successful when it came to uncovering those facts that supported his thesis. Of course, his standards of evidence were significantly higher than those held by the UFO faction, which was at least something of an <i>intellectual </i>relief whenever he was forced to consider his many failures.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Craggett did uncover something he considered relevant, however, something that other investigators seem to have ignored. Aside from the original claims made by Mack Brazel, whenever actual evidence was applied to <i>location,</i> the sources that came forward to promote one alleged crash site over another were <i>always</i> associated on some level with the United States Air Force or Army Air Corps, the intelligence gathering components in either the military, the CIA or the FBI, or were attempting to locate the crash site on private property, where it could potentially be used to make money. The motivations for these individuals were overtly obvious. Craggett found it <i>problematic</i> that in such cases, it could easily be assumed that a classic misdirection strategy was being applied to keep the original crash site a secret. The fact is, eleven crash sites have been identified over the years, and not a single one of them represents a credible solution to the Roswell mystery. To Craggett, it seemed as if someone or some organization had been purposely muddying the water by throwing so much crap into it that the true site might never be found. Even worse, given the proposition that there is no real evidence to support any of the crash sites alluded to, the discovery of related artifacts might very well represent an impossible task, and would therefore become just as useless as any other Roswell flying saucer mystery -- <i>and just as unresolved.</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Brazel, unfortunately, was no help at all. Aside from the fact that by the time Craggett got motivated enough to look at the original sources, Mack Brazel had been dead for a good many years, even when he was alive all he was prepared to do was act like Roswell and flying saucers and dead aliens scattered all around the desert like so much wind blown flotsam on the beach had nothing at all in it that might interest him. He was perenially pissed off, and after reporting what he found and satisfying the "goddamn Army Air Corps", he wanted nothing more to do with the matter, and he made very short work of anyone who reached out to him with questions hanging around the back of their throat. He just told them to swallow it and leave. <i>"Get off my property"</i> became something like the first tenet of a new religion designed and applied by and for the silent.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Something had happened with Mack in 1947 when the Roswell flying saucer allegedly crashed during a thunderstorm; <i>everybody knew that much.</i> The Army officers over at Roswell had kept him locked up and angry for a good week, and he was spitting crazy over that when they finally told him he could go on home -- <i>he had earned it,</i> they said. By the time he got home, though, he wasn't anywhere near angry enough to tell folks everything he'd seen. As far as he was concerned, and for the rest of his life, the only thing he saw was exactly what those officers at the Roswell Army Air Field told him he saw. About the last word he said on the subject was to the deputy who drove him home at the end of that first bad week. According to the deputy, he said something odd and out of place during that long drive back to his home, and part of that statement was later published by one of the E. W. Scripps Company titles, <i>The Albuquerque Tribune</i>: "I told 'em to <i>arrest</i> me, to put me on trial. That was the whole reason I turned myself in to federal officers. <i>They just told me to shut the Hell up, that no one was going on trial, </i>and just locked me up again."</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Now that's an odd comment to make in any conversation, but in the context of 1947, it strongly suggests that Mack <i>expected </i>to be arrested. <i>He wanted to be arrested. </i>Why would anyone expect to be arrested for doing nothing more than letting the Army know that he had found one of their weather balloons? Why would <i>anyone</i> expect the world to come down on top of him for reporting a possible flying saucer? Remember, this was 1947, not 1997, and context is everything. Most folks didn't even know what the Hell a flying saucer was in 1947.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">According to his driver, Mack was dead quiet by the time he got home, and according to everybody else, he stayed that way for the rest of his life. Whenever someone cornered him on it, or kept insisting that his story seemed unlikely, he kept the conversation very short and very sweet, saying that he wouldn't be much of a patriot if he failed to keep his promise, and by God he had made a scarlet vow to the entire Army Air Corps. People in town said he was old-fashioned that way; the fact that he gave his word was significantly more important than the content of his alleged testimony, and he had no intention of staining that aspect of life that bestows honor on a man -- even a poor man with nothing left to hang onto. He sure as Hell wasn't about to start doing so merely for the sake of<i> good conversation.</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The problem with this stand is best defined by the fact that nobody was ever clear about what promise he had made that he intended to keep. They just guessed that it had something to do with the claims he made and the flying saucer he supposedly found. <i>Right. </i>That was a guess that caused a whole lot of silence in the years to come, and a lot of folks later had cause to be thankful for that small blessing. Of course, a lot of folks were also making a lot of money by that time, and if Mack Brazel wasn't adding a whole lot of superfluous details to the story, it gave them that much more freedom to determine for themselves whatever superfluous details should be added.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Roger Craggett, however, was <i>not</i> one of the thankful. He found Mack Brazel's attitude decidedly unfortunate, because it meant that the only resources he could use were those he had already dismissed as unlikely and hardly credible due to so many obviously motivating factors having been introduced. He was unable to find the original site of the alleged incident, because the only witness he could trust had stopped talking and then died. Members of that mute cowboy's family had pointed at what they claimed was the original site, but when one person points at three places over the course of a six year period 20-years after the fact, trusting that person becomes naturally problematic. Craggett had no idea where to start searching once he crossed those with a second-hand story to sell off of his list, and that was pretty much everybody.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"After nine years of investigation, I had no idea where I was or how in the world I was going to find something,<i> anything</i> to cling to in explanation. And I was pissed-off and physically sickened by every little UFO fuck I was pointed to by a bunch of people who also had no idea what in the world was going on. Everybody in those UFO groups has their own favorite little theory to propose, to believe, or sometimes just to sell and none of it ever makes any sense, but they grab at it like it's the last word of God or something. Every single one of these guys is dead certain that you can't trust the government, you can't trust the Air Force, you can't trust the FBI, you can't trust the Army, and you sure as Hell can't trust the CIA, and yet every single goddamn witness they toss out as the brand new caretaker of the true story, the only one who can break down the greatest cover-up in human history, has extremely long-standing ties with the government, the Air Force, the FBI, the Army, or the infuckingcredible CIA, and they see nothing wrong with any of it! For God's sake, even Maj. Jesse A. Marcel -- <i>who publicly stated that what he recovered in 1947 was 'not of this world' </i>-- was attached to the 509th Bomb Group Intelligence Office! It's like every single UFO hunter in the country was born brain dead, and that's your only real conspiracy -- the conspiracy that explains how to <i>believe</i> when you know <i>nothing</i>. How do these people fail to see the most obvious flaw in their repertoire of idiocy? Anybody making claims contrary to their belief is guilty of disinformation and working with the feds, but any source with an actual, verified connection to the feds gets a pat on the back for courage and bestowed with the magical talent for infallibility. I swear, it's just<i> insanity.</i> But I was still at a dead end myself, so what the Hell kind of critic does that make me? Like everybody else, <i>I had nothing."</i></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA4YhsCYgNlJRNGgzvsL5B2Zc_Y0zseHTWhxbAg4A3ynSEBnIRHXk2Tm3-Lql03boTiIqrGGJHqW-WdU5nNm7UwXAebkO7v6owuBzMF_Cz62EalqpM6-n4Jv9-oMSMavoQHvH8rAHJl8k/s1600/BaloonDebris.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA4YhsCYgNlJRNGgzvsL5B2Zc_Y0zseHTWhxbAg4A3ynSEBnIRHXk2Tm3-Lql03boTiIqrGGJHqW-WdU5nNm7UwXAebkO7v6owuBzMF_Cz62EalqpM6-n4Jv9-oMSMavoQHvH8rAHJl8k/s400/BaloonDebris.jpg" width="336" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Major Jesse Marcel of the 509th </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Bomb Group Intelligence Office</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Of course, having "nothing" didn't really stop folks from looking, and it didn't stop those who looked from polishing up that "nothing" until it was so bright and shiny that a lot of people didn't even bother looking at anything else, even if it came with its own price tag. It's that price tag, in fact, that makes it so difficult to believe that those 30-years-after-the-fact investigators didn't start their detective work with a pre-ordained conclusion already written up in what would eventually be chapters one, two, and three of whatever myth-making manual they intended to publish first. They certainly weren't alone, though. A number of unofficial investigations were ultimately introduced to the media market as a result of heightened interest in the case, all of which hinged on conclusions that were very different from what had originally been reported in newspapers 30-years earlier. Some of those conclusions were a bit unsettling. For instance, a number of privately funded investigators had immediately concluded that Mack Brazel had discovered the remnants of an actual, extraterrestrial flying saucer that had crashed near the Foster's property, one that had probably originated not just off-planet, but outside of our own solar system entirely; he had discovered part of an alien craft that had reached the end of its long journey through the darkness with a very rude and unconditional finality. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The officers at the Roswell Army Air Field had, in fact, agreed, claiming that what Brazel discovered was one of the "flying discs" that had been so widely reported throughout June and July, 1947. For modern audiences, this kind of explanation to describe what Brazel had discovered is electrifying. It gives the impression that the scattered remnants of tin foil, wood, tape and heavy paper that was reportedly found is actually a flying saucer, one that was capable of traveling through the vacuum of outer space. And if it's a flying disc, as the army originally insisted, it would be ludicrous to suggest that such a craft had been created with tin foil, wood, tape and heavy paper. A flying saucer of the type of craft that people refer to today whenever they mention "flying saucers" are clearly not made of such flimsy materials.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In the summer of 1947, however, such a claim is inconsistent with actual history. The reports of flying discs throughout much of the nation represented a <i>mystery, </i>not a <i>fait accompli</i> that establishes extraterrestrial visitation. In Los Angeles, for instance, one of the newspapers published the theory that "flying saucers" represented the possible outcome of "experiments in transmutation of atomic energy", an explanation many scientists dismissed as "gibberish". </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The explanation most often put forward by scientists, astronomers, physicists, the military and government spokesmen at all levels was that the discs were very likely "man-made". Astronomers were very quick to dismiss the explanation that the discs were meteors or some other natural phenomenon, which is why most educated therorists believed, as did Dr. Oliver Lee, Director of Northwestern University's Dearborn observatory, that the mystery was merely one more byproduct of military weapons experiments.<i> "We realize that the army and navy are working on all sorts of things we know nothing about."</i> Very few people were promoting the theory that the flying discs originated on another world, possibly in another galaxy. The closest that anybody ever got to such a theory was when Dr. Lee theorized that the flyings discs might represent "the same sort of thing as sending radar signals to the moon, one of the greatest technological achievements of the war, and accomplished in absolute secrecy." The only real question was whether or not the Department of Defense, which in '47 was known as the <i>National Military Establishment</i>, had an obligation to inform the citizenry of the United States that they were indeed responsible for the sightings. The science fiction explanation that proliferates today, partially as a result of the unofficial investigations of the incident at Roswell, was not a valid issue in 1947.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At first Craggett believed that the command at Roswell Army Air Field must have had hopes of killing two birds with one stone: they could release an account explaining what Mack Brazel had discovered in the desert, and could reach a conclusion that resolved as well the mystery of the flying discs. Modern UFO historians tend to believe that the army's immediate about-face in relation to the "flying disc" theory supports conjecture that they were attempting to cover up the truth behind the flying saucer sightings, but it's equally likely, according to Craggett, that pulling away from the explanation for the discs was intended to prevent criticism; clearly, the discs had been described, at times, as accelerating to speeds that were simply impossible for a weather balloon to achieve, particularly one constructed of wood and paper. Craggett, however, was looking at the problem from the point-of-view of a person looking <i>backwards</i> from 2005 or so. It didn't immediately occur to him that things were very different in 1947. People today tend to forget that the first flying saucer ever seen by anybody was on June 25, 1947, about a week-and-a-half after Brazel found whatever it was that Brazel found.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At the time, Craggett didn't think very much about it, so he was still stuck in the little town of Backward Thinking, and the population of that annoying little suburb just off the map at reality's gate loves flying saucers.<i> They can't get enough of them</i>. Brazel, on the other hand, didn't even report what he'd seen -- not immediately. He acted for all the world like it was something he needed to work up to, something that might even be judged as a moral failing of some kind. Recognizing that just pissed Craggett off. His instincts coupled with all the background noise put out by modern UFOlogy made him want to get rid of all those flying saucers, because as much as some people like to bellyache and piss steaming spit and vinegar, there is nothing about the UFO issue that could possibly weigh very heavily on a man, proof of this being the almost relentless and pretentious assumption of applied sainthood being adopted by the contemporary crowds of the most recognizably foolish and inconsiderate professors of hoax law this planet has ever given birth to. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To be honest, Craggett's instincts were dead on. Brazel never acted like someone who had found something new and revolutionary to the overly human minds we all happen to be equipped with. He acted like he was <i>guilty</i> of something, which really got to Craggett right where it's supposed to: <i>in the pit of your stomach.</i> The UFO mythos is just another excuse to keep the neighbors awake and angry for all those bedroom people who like noise a heck of a lot more than the rest of us like music. Keep it to yourself. <i>Nobody cares. </i>According to Craggett, those who precipitate the inane yet unexplained claims are basically worthless, even to themselves, and Brazel's actions and his emotions can't possibly be interpreted as anything less than consequential -- <i>but only for him.</i> As for the saucers, they've always been attention grabbers, not good science, and nothing at all like the result of someone's good detective work.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Unfortunately, in his eagerness to get rid of the saucer problem that he assumed was an obstacle, he had missed the most important part of the lecture. You see, Craggett had reached the conclusion almost immediately that anything the command at Roswell Army Air Field wanted to keep private and personal and out of the newspapers -- <i>anything at all </i>-- would have very likely elicited a similar response from them, which was little more than an excuse; any excuse would have worked just as well, but this one was dangerous because it attracted way too much attention to keep what really happened a secret for very long. It therefore became immediately necessary to change that excuse and come up with one that was a little less newsworthy. After all, public interest throughout the world was inflamed by reports of a "flying disc" having been recovered, not a weather balloon. Immediately shutting down any association with all those reports of flying discs was primarily a means to deflect public interest, so the motivation for doing so could literally be anything that the army wanted to remain tight-lipped about. It didn't have to be "a real live flying saucer!" It could just as likely have been related to atomic weaponry. If you try and cover up the fact that a 12-year-old child figured out how to build an atom bomb, because he found the top secret DIY manual that some army messenger had accidentally dropped while checking out the scenery, and you decided that a cover-up should take the form of a possible flying disc -- which would have been beautiful, because it would also tend to explain why so many military police were raking out a square-mile of desert like a giant box of kitty litter -- your cover-up story is still going to attract way too much attention from newspaper reporters all over the world. The actual story being protected isn't even relevant, only the possibility that someone might trip over it in the dark. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>And in the world of secrecy, my unfortunate friend, there is only the dark.</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In his eagerness to rid the world of the "flying disc" mystery, Craggett dropped into the same old sand trap that many other investigators had dropped into before him. He made the very rude and untenable assumption that the U.S. Army had just made a stupid mistake regarding the "excuse story" they came up with. And, to be fair, that's exactly what most people thought, the only difference being that most people thought the army had made a stupid mistake and that Brazel hadn't found anything even remotely interesting. But then 30-years later, a small collection of treasure hunters and fools started trying to convince people that Brazel had indeed found something so alarmingly secret that the army went and got all excited about it, like a thirteen year old kid who found a stash of old Playboy magazines and started screaming,<i> "lookee what I found! look at what I dug up!"</i> while realizing at the very same time the extent of his own stupidity during that one blast of heavenly hyper-faith that every kid in the whole wide world discovers within his heart at least two dozen times in life before common sense tells him to shut the fuck up. The fall-out from the army's 12-hour bout with stupidity was allegedly realized almost immediately thereafter, as was their silly and sadly low key misapplication of public concern and well-being that caused them to make an almost instantaneous about-face to keep what had already been loudly announced as a brilliant find a complete secret, bouncing, thereby, like a jellyfish ball from one extreme to the other, just a subscription away from another relentlessly crowded newspaper full of American idiocy, a reflection of our ever-so-consistent nuclear paranoia that in this case represents such an oddly mild and unthreatening nightmare that millions of American idiots are still trying to explain it to a population that to this very day just doesn't give a damn. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">About 25-years after that old-style Jacob and the Angel wrestling match between the facts and the fools that the American theater of the absurd tried and failed to present with just a little bit of dignity, Craggett came along and concluded that Brazel did indeed find something important, his inner spirit wrestled with his own reaction to whatever it was for a couple of weeks before telling the army about it, and the army decided that whatever Brazel found should not be publicized. To ensure the secret stayed a secret, they announced that one of the "flying discs" the entire country was so on fire about had crashed and been discovered in the desert north of Roswell, New Mexico. This, however, was so much of an overshoot, that the entire world was immediately eager to know all about that damn disc, so the army stepped back a bit from their awkward and irresponsible cover-up, and toned it down just enough to allow them to put a cap on the fizzy, shaken-up bottle of carbonated, world-wide journalism just before it overflowed the bottle and made what had been secret no longer secret in a very, very messy way like a Mentos and Coke cocktail. They locked Brazel up for what was apparently an annoying bit of time, but plenty long enough to give him a decent idea of what exactly his family would be looking at for the rest of their long lives after a completely silent and otherwise unrecognizable Army Ranger came along to put a bullet in his head just before dropping him like a stinking bag of laundry into a deep hole in the hot desert that Brazel himself was probably going to have to dig. And that was exactly how Brazel found himself a weather balloon --<i> zippity-do-dah. Do dah day.</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The most disturbing part of the entire radical, nation-wide assessment of New Mexico's desert routine that came out of Roswell in 1947 was the army's <i>incompetence, </i>which is decidedly common to nearly every single explanation offered up in the past 60-plus years. Not a single one of the many hypothetical saucer stories that have been advanced fails to blame the entire disgusting mess on the complete and unconditional idiocy of the United States Army. It's almost funny how much stupidity managed to collect itself and breed throughout the army so soon after that same army had defeated in both the short and the long run every opponent it met on the field during World War Two. Even Craggett saw nothing remarkable about it. "I just figured that they picked the wrong excuse. Instead of deflecting interest in whatever Brazel had found, they were attracting interest from all over the world, so they needed to turn back, y'know, do a complete 180, 'cause it seemed obvious they didn't want all the attention they got. It was just a mistake they were fortunate enough to fix a day or so later. They was lucky all they got was embarrassed." </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>But that wasn't what happened at all.</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuRAcXZxITfGy2agCWEhVqR1ocJO1KKIChPiL-nTpA0mfD1jzbhIuikKkncuT0W24U-9j6oNL-TvC-AwpptDEuBy4T5vE5xs2v6Eawclu9rchW2wWhKK92azDV0rdoEZNwi1d2bjuZbdE/s1600/JeanCampbell.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuRAcXZxITfGy2agCWEhVqR1ocJO1KKIChPiL-nTpA0mfD1jzbhIuikKkncuT0W24U-9j6oNL-TvC-AwpptDEuBy4T5vE5xs2v6Eawclu9rchW2wWhKK92azDV0rdoEZNwi1d2bjuZbdE/s400/JeanCampbell.jpg" width="280" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small; text-align: justify;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The disc is hexagonal in shape and was </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: small; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">suspended from a ballon [sic] by cable</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">First mention of a possible flying disc, according to the commander at Roswell Army Air Field, had been advanced by Mack Brazel. Obviously, Brazel knew little about the disc sightings, and was instead offering an explanation more related to the shape of the radar reflectors often used on weather balloons than to the witness reports describing the flying saucers. This interpretation seems obvious given the contents of a memo sent to J. Edgar Hoover, Director of the FBI: <i>"The disc is hexagonal in shape and was suspended from a ballon [sic] by cable, which ballon [sic] was approximately twenty feet in diameter."</i> Hoover lost interest completely and ignored further reports on the grounds that the Roswell disc had been identified as a radar reflector. In fact, nobody involved with the alleged recovery described the "flying disc" as anything particularly alarming, which begs the question, <i>why keep it a secret after you've already made it public?</i> Even if was an actual flying saucer from the stars, you've already defined its nature to J. Edgar Hoover. There is simply no believable reason for backtracking on the story the way the Army Air Corps obviously did, unless you're genuinely trying to look like a pack of idiots. For God's sake, if the press or any other interested parties questioned the "flying disc scenario", all the army needed to do was trot out a radar reflector. <i>"Yeah, this is it -- this is the flying disc;</i> we're pretty sure a large number of flying disc reports can be explained the same way. Who knew?" </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Nobody knew; that's the point.</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The only reason whatever Brazel had supposedly discovered out in the desert waste north of Roswell was initially reported as a flying disc, at least according to the army and local law enforcement, is because Mack Brazel had originally reported it as a flying disc! As for Brazel, once he was released from the army's "care", he refused to address these issues at all, which means that one side of the only relevant conversation that was going on in the whole world was now just a blank stare. The result of this one-sided interpretation was a disaster for the truth, because it ensured for the next 60-years that most of the world would fail to examine in any real depth what the army had actually done, and what most of the world would fail to recognize what their ignorance of military and government procedures would ultimately redefine. Without the authority dictated by Brazel's point of view, we're forced to ignore the Army Air Corps' motivation as it applied to the world in 1947. Fortunately, any thorough examination of motives -- <i>if it's done with knowledge and a compassionate nod to history</i> -- will nonetheless suggest an honest resolution. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Craggett may be only person in America willing to focus on the incident as it was being defined and redefined by the army. By doing so he couldn't help but notice that the only possible reason the army would have had for backtracking away from the saucer story so immediately and so thoroughly would be to maintain secrecy regarding an incident that had absolutely nothing to do with flying discs. This is also the only reason for Mack Brazel to keep his own role in the matter a secret as well, especially after a reasonable explanation had already been floated by the Director of the FBI. After all, Brazel would have been perfectly safe telling everyone he found a "flying disc", because the army had already made it clear that the "flying disc" could be easily associated with radar reflectors. This explanation is certainly what J. Edgar Hoover believed, and it is precisely why Hoover didn't give the incident any further thought whatsoever. He knew that the flying disc was a military-grade radar reflector. As Stan Lee would later declare,<i> "'Nuff said!"</i> If Brazel had found either a weather balloon and radar reflector or an actual flying saucer, both he and the Army Air Corps would have been just fine coming out, as Brazel apparently did according to the army and local law enforcement, and declaring that a "flying disc" had crashed north of Roswell, New Mexico. There would have been no reason for the army to withdraw their story so quickly. </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And yet, that's exactly what happened.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOwjrWu1pSNNOLUweei-a-XkCoe1KxKeype-rmDBBXsPAjj9A2T8k0uTY3frsD3QYbIorpnf-vQguGUJagU5KdRE9QR2O4vrS52y07-U2_5u6P3zgl2uUUsbKvPHr1ESYy879XGLICbkw/s1600/1320643101061.cached.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOwjrWu1pSNNOLUweei-a-XkCoe1KxKeype-rmDBBXsPAjj9A2T8k0uTY3frsD3QYbIorpnf-vQguGUJagU5KdRE9QR2O4vrS52y07-U2_5u6P3zgl2uUUsbKvPHr1ESYy879XGLICbkw/s320/1320643101061.cached.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">J. Edgar Hoover knew there was nothing </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">important about the Roswell flying disc</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">On the other hand, if Brazel had discovered something in the desert that had nothing at all to do with flying saucers, any statement from the army proposing the "flying disc scenario" would have to be immediately retracted simply to prevent all those journalists from getting too close and possibly discovering the army's fundamental deceit. Had this occured, it would have proven decisively that the army was indeed stage managing a cover-up of some sort. It's a little difficult for someone to say <i>"Yeah, this is it -- this is the flying disc,"</i> when you're pointing right at something that is not a flying disc -- like maybe an onion for instance. This is the only scenario that can possibly account for all of the army's actions in regard to whatever the Hell was going on in July 1947, including its very public assumption of unreasonable<i> incompetence.</i> The army didn't pull back on the story because they wanted to protect their very real flying saucer. Hell, they could have just left the story alone and not one person in a million would have had a problem wth it. They would have nodded like J. Edgar Hoover did, and turned to look at whatever was next in line. The only reason in the world for the army to pull back on their story was to protect whatever it was that they were truly trying to keep in the dark and under the eaves. And it had nothing at all to do with the "flying disc mystery" that Brazel was apparently playing around with.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Most investigators and researchers willing to look at the case today, are necessarily critical of the way the army handled the whole matter. The flying discs represented a new mystery in 1947, and the term "UFO" hadn't even been invented, and yet the criticism directed at the army seems to be the result of the army's alleged stupidity for claiming that one of those mysterious flying saucers had crashed, and could be identified as a radar reflector of the type used throughout the nation on numerous weather balloons. This kind of an explanation, however, isn't necessarily a bad one unless you've already decided to invest that flying disc of 1947 with all of the properties of a UFO in 1977. J. Edgar Hoover had proven that when he accepted the radar reflector explanation without any further follow-up whatsoever, an action notably odd if the flying disc was an actual aircraft with unexplainable qualities. Not even Howard Hughes would choose to fly such an imaginary animal home, and he's one of the guys who bought into the deception in 1953 and thereby owned that tiny slice of government that 10-years later would find it useful to pretend John F. Kennedy had been murdered by the C.I.A. like solemn Pertinax at the hands of his own Praetorian Guards. It was the threat of ultimate blame for that horrendous crime that enabled the C.I.A. to overcome its own hubris and realize instead the most productive decade of its entire history, thereby making possible America's ultimate victory over Russian Communism and the destruction of the Soviet Union as a political force. The truth of this can be easily determined by merely examining the current membership of NATO, which now includes Albania, Croatia, the Czech Republic, Estonia, a united Germany, Greece, Hungary, Latvia, Lithuania, Poland, Romania, Slovakia, and Slovenia. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Unfortunately, this type of discussion measuring the reactions of human creatures to the real and the unreal elements of aircraft that we have yet to properly imagine, as sensible and sound as the prospect of human economy in a world of cartoon characters and suicidal thieves, is exactly the kind of thinking that really sets Craggett on edge. He becomes like a puppy yapping at a porn star in downtown Houston. Unlike other investigators and researchers, Craggett gets handsomely pissed off every time he's forced to consider that damn flying disc mystery at all, and it doesn't matter a lick what year you're talking about. For Craggett, the whole thing is <i>lunacy.</i> Even after that ridiculous gathering of witnesses inspired by authors and cranks, he remained coldly positive that Brazel in a thousand lifetimes could never have found what was left of a flying saucer --<i> it's too ridiculous to even consider!</i> A flying saucer, whether you're talking about 1947 or 2007, is faster than God and it comes from outer space; it isn't constructed of paper and balsa wood and wire and some pink tape with flowers and crap on it, and it isn't part of a weather balloon, or a Revell plastic model kit of an aircraft carrier, or a tiny Cessna with a wind-up rubberband engine and a tiny little cotton and fluff pilot with a cute little red ballcap. The fact is, if you look at all the newspaper reports from 1947, this whole scenario presents a solution that's so obvious and clear that not even the dumbass, well-funded army could be so dense and irresponsible not to get it. The whole country didn't give a tinker's damn about weather balloons or radar reflectors or those new vampire bat jets they were testing in the south of Wales, and although just about everybody in the entire country -- <i>Hell, in the entire world! </i>-- seemed so certain that those disks were man-made, and that they were probably top secret military ordnance like the guided missiles being developed in Texas or the newly realized spy aircraft that the military was testing in Nevada, everybody in the goddamn country still wanted to know exactly what those disks were and why nobody in the military or the government was willing to admit ownership of the damn things, all of which means those army boys must have been complete idiots to even consider using -- <i>waitaminute ...</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">-- which is when the whole world turned inside out and back again so quickly it blanked out the sun, the whole goddamn sun! and Craggett knew like the sound of a rocket going off with the stuttering voice of cold thunder on top of those electrical dreams and explosive mayhem that the army didn't make common dumbass mistakes like that, not in 1947; Jesus God not even in 1997! And he laughed, yeah, he laughed his ass off 'cause he suddenly knew what was going on here, and what everybody else had completely missed.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The United States Army was far too purposeful about everything to make the kind of silly and irresponsible mistake that everybody in the entire world, regardless of what side of the issue they're arguing for, seems to be so certain of. Hell, they just won World War Two and that was a gathering of minds and warriors that nobody had even contemplated before it happened. World War One was the war to end all wars, but compared to World War Two, it was "Bat 'n' Ball Day" at Dodger Stadium.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It occured to Craggett almost like a revelation on Mt. Sinai that what the army had accomplished in 1947 was a signature example of true genius. The United States Army, having used and retained warriors of such genius throughout World War Two, was flush with it. And nothing motivates genius more than fighting a war to defend your nation -- and World War Two was such an extensive war that Americans have never seen the likes of it since. <i>We had a surplus of genius to work with in 1947</i>, and Craggett, quite suddenly, had realized the extent of that genius, and how it was reflected in the flying saucer to weather balloon scenario that the army was responsible for. That entire incident with its timing and its expression of incompetence was nothing less than brilliant and flawless psychology as far as Craggett could see.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"If you've got something that you want to hide, you draw attention to it in a big, big way, without revealing anything you consider important, and then you pull back and say, 'hey, guys, we're really sorry --<i> we just got it wrong. '</i>Our mistake, please don't hold it against us. <i>We're just so sad and stupid is all.'</i> The only problem with such a strategy is that part of the plan where<i> 'you draw attention to it in a big, big way.' </i>Of course, if you can't pinpoint the location that you're otherwise doing everything you can to define, then you really don't have a problem. When you tell the world that your big clumsy-ass mistake was established in one of these eleven places, which box do you pick -- <i>hey, hey! Let's Make a Deal! </i>-- all of a sudden you don't have a problem any more -- you've got a multiple choice, social studies test. And those guys knew the Hell out of their social studies. <i>Sadly, nobody else did; </i>but, then, nobody else was running the world the way the powerful and the wealthy United States of America was doing in 1947. The only problem with this scenario is the press. If you empower the press to start looking in desperation for the real story, you run the risk that someone will actually stumble over the truth, and that presents a problem that the army and the government of the United States wanted to avoid like a crash test dummy wants to avoid a brick wall. That problem, however, is easily mitigated if you're controlling the story: <i>you reverse your stand almost immediately so nobody has the chance to examine it, and then you apologize for the obvious stupidity that led you to adopt that position in the first place. </i>After all, Americans have never had a problem accepting and believing in the proposition of government stupidity, even when it's so clearly undeserved.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"The big miracle in Roswell wasn't this magic flying saucer. The big miracle was the fact that <i>the army attracted no suspicions at all</i> when they screamed out, <i>'hey, we got one! Bingo! We win!' </i>Nobody would have been in a position to suspect anything at all if it hadn't been for a bunch of money-hungry, mutant conmen trying to convince everybody with a wallet that the army's misdirection strategy was actually a hasty bout of honesty that unfortunately had to be covered up for no real or established reason the very next day, and they did it 30-years after the fact! You want to know why we're so certain that a flying saucer just isn't an issue? <i>Because the testimony that substantiated that claim was introduced to the world 30-years after the fact!</i> In the course of those 30-years, not a single one of these freaking Roswell witnesses came forward with their claims. It wasn't until 1979, when a couple of applesauce stompers proved that there was money in the lie, and all you had to do was follow their example. <i>They discovered buried treasure that you could dig out of the desert with a publication contract and a pen instead of a shovel. </i>Goddamn irresponsible was all it really was. They didn't define or discover anything;<i> they created shit and then tossed it at the whole world like a pissed off howler monkey in a cage!"</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Brilliant and flawless psychology means that the army was well aware that once the "flying disc" had been identified as something prosaic, interest in the Roswell find would drop to absolutely nothing and would stay that way forever. Unfortunately, the army failed to predict the rising freakshow that sailed into Roswell a good 30-years later while convincing the whole world to come out and have a look.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It wasn't too long after his singular revelation that Craggett met Ardajio Jonas. It was at a nearly empty American Legion club in Santa Fe, New Mexico, and the two men were certain they had nothing in common, so it was an easy afternoon that they filled with a couple of pitchers of draft beer and some pastrami sandwiches that were thrown together at the last minute. And then, just for the sake of conversation, Jonas started talking about Patient-X and all the odd little stories he had to tell about this cowboy he knew named Mack Brazel.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";">And then Roger Craggett's whole world changed.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Thus ends our Part Two...</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This work is the culmination of </span><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><i>The Saucerologist's</i> </b></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">most complex and lengthy investigation to date. As a result, the necessity for travelling throughout the States of New Mexico, Maryland, Georgia, and Utah to conduct interviews and to access numerous archives of personal records has increased significantly the expenses and time required to complete the task. While it's true that we would prefer not to incur such a taxing condition, we would nonetheless be far more dissatisfied were we to ignore such obstacles that fate has placed before us. Expenses are relatively easy to ignore. Doing so, however, tends to increase the relative effect of the time we have invested in our pursuit of the truth. </span><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><i>The Saucerologist </i></b></span><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">therefore finds it necessary to apologize for the increased time between the varied Parts of our present examination of the alleged crash of a flying saucer north of Roswell, New Mexico. </span><i><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>The Saucerologist</b> </span></i><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">apologizes for the sometimes inconsistent and untimely character of our publishing timetable. We are genuinely working towards a more palatable and consistent solution and hope to reduce our present consumption of minutes in the day. Please remember as well that ...</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Part Three will be published right here in a bit of time measured out by clockwatchers in steps of quality found primarily at the end of grace! And always remember:</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>This is a Saucer Press International Publication</b></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15110659214862886339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273907814703568880.post-35714384175389426372017-01-18T20:18:00.000-08:002017-03-20T12:54:24.992-07:00New Revelations Add to the Collection of Mysteries in Roswell, 1947<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;"><b style="background-color: black;">Wherein We Meet Patient-X and an Angry Little Man </b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;"><i style="background-color: black;"><b>"Flying Saucers Piss Me Off!"</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For the sake of other patients' privacy, the </span><i style="color: yellow; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">"Santa Fe long term care facility"</i><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> once responsible for housing the man we call </span><i style="color: yellow; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Patient-X</i><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> has expressed its desire to remain unidentified throughout the course of this narrative. For the sake of the same privacy accorded to other patients, they have also requested that Patient-X's real name not be released. Given that the very few surviving members of his family have also proven hostile to the idea of publicizing their familial connection to this individual, </span><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>The Saucerologist</i></span><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> has agreed to maintain a state of anonymity in return for access to records and memories that were previously impossible to examine. For those attempting to track Patient-X down by the use of clever hints and context delivered in part by </span><i style="color: yellow; font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">The Saucerologist</i><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, who some people seem to think is a complete idiot who doesn't understand the background and the presumably overlooked application of location! Location! LOCATION!, the long term care facility discussed in this series of articles is also anonymous in relation to its natural place in the universe (so live with it dear, vocabulary pickers). As understood by all three editors of </span><i style="color: yellow; font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">The Saucerologist</i><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, there is not now, nor has there ever been, such a medical facility as that described in these few pages anywhere near the city of Santa Fe, New Mexico. To give this series of articles the necessary conditions of locality demanded of such narratives, we have determined to maintain this illusory quality throughout. Obviously, such a facility does exist within the United States, and it was, at one time, responsible for housing the comatose individual we have elected to call "Patient-X". While our readers are certainly welcome to look for it, </span><i style="color: yellow; font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">The Saucerologist</i><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is confident, given the current desires of both the facility and the family, that no such attempt will reach a successful conclusion until the above conditions no longer exist.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The conversations as presented in the article below have been recreated from the recollections of Ardajio Jonas, video files recorded on a cell phone owned by Ardajio Jonas, archived recordings currently maintained at a long term care facility outside of Santa Fe, New Mexico, private documents held by Patient-X's few remaining family members, and the contents of private emails that were accidentally stored on a non-affiliated server, thereby allowing independent contractors to examine their contents, most of which were trivial, with the remainder serving primarily as a means to confirm a number of claims originally addressed by other sources.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">SPI SANTA FE NM -- For 46 years a quiet secret was watched and fretted over by three generations of care givers at a coma ward hospital outside of Santa Fe, standing isolated and sun-bleached amongst the barren hills and the brutalized landscape of northern New Mexico. The identity of this secret was originally discussed -- if discussed at all -- as "Patient-X", and up until the summer of 1993, Patient-X had been comatose and cared for longer than any other human being in recorded history.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ardajio Jonas, a Veteran's Administration representative who was attached in an "informal" capacity to the Santa Fe facility in 1993, became interested in the case and conducted his own investigation, primarily to satisfy his own curiosity. "I didn't have much to do anyway; it's not like all of those people needed advice or had any questions that needed some urgent answering." He was able to eventually gain access to the original documentation in regard to the man's commitment, and was surprised to learn that he had originally been treated at a small clinic on the old army base at Roswell, New Mexico. Those documents went a long way to explaining exactly how he wound up at the facility in Santa Fe.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">According to Jonas, his medical history as a comatose individual started out as a death watch. When Patient-X "failed to stabilize those first six weeks at the clinic on the old army base at Roswell, New Mexico, nobody at all expected him to live longer than a few weeks at best. In those days, and we're talking about the summer of 1947, there really wasn't much social pressure involved in the decision as to whether or not someone should be removed from life supporting systems. Wasn't at all like today. There just wasn't much to it, and those systems in use were so primitive compared to what we've got now, that social pressure, whatever your belief, just didn't happen. There simply wasn't anything to argue about, because there was no substantive issue involved. You either died or you lived, period. Things are a whole lot different now ..." Remarkably, Patient-X was still alive 46 years later, and nobody from Roswell to Santa Fe would have ever guessed at such a resolution.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"That old boy must have had God on his side that summer, 'cause he was one of the very few who lived. And, of course, he continued to do so, even though it took him a bit of time to settle into it. It's unsurprising, really, that it also took a little time to pull out of that coma. It must have been a Hell of a thing to witness his awakening, once it got started and all, but that's one of those little miracles they'd never let an admin frog like me hang around for. Only doctors and nursing staff got in, which was pretty damn ironic, really, given that his condition became so precarious so immediately once he started showing signs that there was something new going on in his head.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"For a good two weeks in February of 1993, he started having these awful seizures -- long and drawn out, like a slow leak in a swimming pool; you don't even notice the water level dropping until you realize the chlorine level is starting to burn your eyes a little more than usual. </span><i><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">They just</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> w</span></i><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>eren't ordinary seizures, y'know? </i>Most folks have a seizure longer than 40, 50-seconds, and it's an alarm goin' off, 'cause that's a long, long time. But he was havin' these seizures that lasted a half hour or more! Even worse, the doctors couldn't figure out what was goin' on. This was truly a bad, bad time, and everybody was pretty certain that he was fixin' to die. When you're talkin' about a person's health, the only odds that doctors can go on is based on history. How long do most people in such circumstances go on? What happens to the brain when you start seizing up like that when you're in a coma?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"The thing is, there ain't much history to go on when you've been in storage for almost fifty years -- there's just no precedent for it, and nobody really knows what 50-years of unconsciousness is going to do to a man's brain, his nervous system -- Hell, even his lower functions, all that automated stuff like breathing or getting rid of the waste and poisons that a man can absorb over the years without even knowing it. It was uncharted territory, so you couldn't really tell what was going on upstairs. You couldn't plan for it either. But I'll tell you, when those eyes of his started fluttering and then snapped open like somebody had pegged a switch, those doctors had to have been shocked. After 46-years or so of darkness, not a single one of them was thinkin' about recovery. Every doctor and a good ninety-percent of the nursing staff expected him to die in the shadows without ever waking up. It was just gonna be lights out, and he had been in that lights out state since 1947 when he was still being treated at the little clinic they used to have at the Army Air Field in Roswell. In those days, they still had a little bit of hope that he might regain his wits a little. Yeah... <i>that hope didn't last too long at all.</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"He was moved outta Roswell years and years ago and put in cold storage right here in Santa Fe. They were nowhere near properly equipped enough to keep him just lyin' about there in that little clinic they had. They moved him up here and locked him away. And then, for no apparent reason at all, he started to get a little more ... a little more ... <i>active. </i>The seizures came and the seizures went, and that's about when his chances of living through that waking up stage started to get particularly bad. He started cramping up at times, and archived records show that over the course of eleven days, his heart stopped eighteen times. He did a lot of drifting in and out of this organic fugue state, but it was all internal. You couldn't really tell what was going on from the outside. Every once in a while someone might see a muscle flutter that could have been the wind, had he been takin' a nap out in the grass. <i>It was all just drifting.</i> For the most part, folks just assumed that he was gonna drift on out, that his body was gonna catch up with the rest of him that was already dead and gone. Hell, <i>it was long, long gone."</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong>Patient-X was eventually moved from</strong></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Doctors insist that it was Patient-X's age that made his continued survival so extremely doubtful. The odds of his remaining alive dropped away to almost nothing as soon as he started to regain consciousness, and that process alone took over 6-weeks. "You can imagine how stoked up everyone was. They kept a real close eye on him, 'cause when you get to that point, presence alone can fix blame. I truly hate saying this, but just about every lawsuit those coma docs are forced to deal with comes about 'cause of somethin' they did during the awakening. Now I'm sure they spent so much time and effort helping that old boy 'cause they genuinely wanted to help him and do whatever they could for him, but they also put a lot of attention on the line 'cause that's where you screw up most and that's how you end up in court. In a way, it was good for me, too, 'cause it meant that every little thing was recorded and set down as history. An' not being a doctor, it was the human story that interested me the most, y'know?"</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Once that awakening process stabilized somewhat, and Patient-X could be described at least half the time as "conscious", he dropped right down into something the doctors described as "a continuously failing state" for about five-and-a-half months, and nobody at the hospital expected him to hang on much longer than that. Most of the staff shared the opinion that his lifespan was something of a miracle that became more alarming with each day of consciousness.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>"It was all very sad," </i>Ardajio Jonas admitted. "Most of his life, he was in a coma, and when he finally wasn't, the whole awakening process was most likely gonna kill him. Eventually, of course, that's what happened. <i>The awakening killed him.</i> Well, more specifically, his advanced age combined with the horrifying physical condition that 46 years in a comatose state had left behind killed him. His death sentence became a fact of life as soon as consciousness slipped in." It was a cruel judgment that Jonas described, but it couldn't be helped. "Mercy is one of those aspects of human life that has no real place in a long term care facility. It's a luxury no one can afford, because the job is to wake the inmates up, not euthanize them once they start sensing that the world around them actually exists.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The patient's condition was the primary reason that his eventual care and treatment was so different to that accorded to most coma patients. From day one, he couldn't participate in any except the most basic physical therapy exercises that require the very least measure of effort. It was believed with some authority that the standard physical effort required for successful therapy would kill him very quickly. None of it was kept secret from him, of course. That would have been so unethical that most of the staff would have refused to participate in such a strategic retreat from human dignity. All the same, it wasn't a subject anyone cared to dwell on, and that included Patient-X.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While some remarkable advances in medical care came about as a result of World War Two and its influx of badly wounded soldiers requiring treatment, not enough had been learned about keeping a human body alive after it has dropped off the scope of human consciousness. All they could really do at the time was watch it, keep it clean, prevent or treat the bed sores that tend to develop, and make sure enough nutrients were being absorbed to prevent infection. As for the vegetative states that encompass most modern discussions of comatose individuals, the medical communities worldwide didn't even understand how best to define the issue. They couldn't measure the whole spectrum electrical activity in the brain, and they lacked the knowledge to define its importance. If the body could breathe on its own, the assumption was that it could recover on its own. The primary medical duty was to prevent infection and starvation, and a lot of the time all they had to go on was muscle cramps and body fluids.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Patient-X was a medical disaster when he was discovered in June 1947 just outside the perimeter of the Army base at Roswell, New Mexico. A single, anonymous phone call had alerted the military about his presence. One side of his skull had been crushed, his pelvis was shattered like it was glass in more than a couple of places, and both of his legs were hideously mangled, one of which was very nearly snapped off at the knee like a twig of dry kindling. He was already comatose when security personnel attached to the Army base discovered his body, but his wounds had also been cleaned and dressed. Although the effort was obviously substantial, it was far from being the treatment he would have received at a hospital, or even for that matter, from someone properly trained to administer first aid. As a result, infection had already set within his broken leg, and it later required amputation.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Over the course of the next three weeks, some great efforts were made to establish his identity. This eventually resulted in the successful identification of the young man by his employer, who supplied contract labor to farming interests in New Mexico, Utah, and Arizona. Patient-X had been hired to pick up and transport across the border 10 Mexican Braceros, or common laborers, who had been contracted at 30-cents an hour -- a wage guaranteed through the <i>Mexican Farm Labor Agreement</i> of 1942. The agreement between the U.S. and Mexico was intended to fill the holes in a number of labor intensive professions, primarily harvesting crops or working associated jobs such as cleaning and packing. Braceros were necessary to fill labor needs still recovering from the massive labor shortage that numerous industries suffered as a result of World War Two. Patient-X was employed to drive a produce truck to the U.S. border with Mexico where he was supposed to pick up ten already contracted Braceros and drive them to Albuquerque, New Mexico. Once there, they would be met by drivers from one of three farm interests already prepared to provide employment, bed, and two meals a day until the end of October. Due to the markets' "straddling" of western states, most of these Braceros were likely to be picked up for labor contracts in other industries, or at another of the privatized farm interests and would not be sent back to Mexico until January or so, if at all. Many would simply stay in communal camp areas, where they could be expected to pick up additional contracts in the Spring. Unsurprisingly, some of the Braceros were fated to die. Only this last eventuality would be ignored by both the U.S. government and the farming interests who profited from this ready-made labor force. Death, for the most part, was hardly noticed throughout the turning of a day.
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">In 1956, labor organizer Ernesto Galarza’s book </span><i><span style="color: yellow;">Stranger in Our Fields</span></i><span style="color: white;"> was published, drawing attention for the first time to the conditions experienced by Braceros. The book begins with this statement from one of the Mexican laborers: <i>“In this camp, we have no names. we are called only by numbers.” </i>Galarza concluded that the Braceros were lied to, cheated and “shamefully neglected." The U.S. Department of Labor officer in charge of the program, Lee G. Williams, described it as a system of <i>“legalized slavery,”</i> proving that the issue </span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">of Mexican laborers in America is far more complex than most Americans are wont to believe and suffers from roots far deeper than those recognized in America today.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">American icon Woodie Guthrie's take on the issue, reprinted below, has been judged by history as a far more striking and effective measure of the malignancy that has since developed within our two cultures. Too many Americans seem to have forgotten the invitations that one nation extended to another, thereby fostering a migratory system that to at least some extent still exists and oppresses to this day.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The crops are all in and the peaches are rott'ning,</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The oranges piled in their creosote dumps;</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">They're flying 'em back to the Mexican border</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To pay all their money to wade back again</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Goodbye to my Juan, goodbye, Rosalita,</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Adios mis amigos, Jesus y Maria;</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You won't have your names when you ride the big airplane,</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">All they will call you will be "deportees"</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My father's own father, he waded that river,</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">They took all the money he made in his life;</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My brothers and sisters come working the fruit trees,</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And they rode the truck till they took down and died.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Some of us are illegal, and some are not wanted,</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Our work contract's out and we have to move on;</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Six hundred miles to that Mexican border,</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">They chase us like outlaws, like rustlers, like thieves.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We died in your hills, we died in your deserts,</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We died in your valleys and died on your plains.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We died 'neath your trees and we died in your bushes,</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Both sides of the river, we died just the same.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The sky plane caught fire over Los Gatos Canyon,</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A fireball of lightning, and shook all our hills,</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Who are all these friends, all scattered like dry leaves?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The radio says, "They are just deportees"</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Is this the best way we can grow our big orchards?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Is this the best way we can grow our good fruit?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To fall like dry leaves to rot on my topsoil</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And be called by no name except "deportees"?</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk1GI0p8y5-UzgBqY4qskpC3ZaGvPeL2hwAk6ORssc_ZGiZE7wyWRCeoLyBRRtDU_mtguRaP5-UtUwwVb7ZHDUIbwCihZlT8ZGRKPJG_IC5upb_qV_-9hWq5AXDTDKOs_xSoQ-4Lbc_oo/s1600/Bracero-memorial---img.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk1GI0p8y5-UzgBqY4qskpC3ZaGvPeL2hwAk6ORssc_ZGiZE7wyWRCeoLyBRRtDU_mtguRaP5-UtUwwVb7ZHDUIbwCihZlT8ZGRKPJG_IC5upb_qV_-9hWq5AXDTDKOs_xSoQ-4Lbc_oo/s400/Bracero-memorial---img.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong>Many Braceros never made it home</strong> </span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The above text represents what was intended to be an exorcism of American labor that has always thrived on Mexican sweat and Washington plutocracy. Written by Woody Guthrie, </span><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Deportee (Plane Wreck at Los Gatos)</i></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, commemorates the horrific loss of 28 Braceros who were being repatriated to Mexico in January 1948. Numbers equally high died during similar transportive incidents using buses, trucks, cars, and, in at least one case recorded in southern Texas, a hot air balloon that was recklessly packed with 14 Braceros. These incidents, of course, record only those entirely legal attempts to deport inexpensive labor from those inexpensive labor camps where the contracts these men had bargained for were inevitably shredded by American overseers who demanded that new contracts be drafted. The arguments in favor of the rewritten contract rule was a hard one to refuse: <i>"well, you boys can either bargain out a new contract, or you can be arrested as illegal migrant workers and sent home." </i>That cute phrase "bargain out" actually meant <i>"boy, you shut the Hell up and put your X right there"</i> when it was translated into American-pidgin-Spanish.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Today, millions of Mexican-Americans can trace their families' initial arrival into the United States to their fathers' or grandfathers' employment as Braceros. This program -- the largest foreign worker program in U.S. history -- would eventually invite and employ men and women from every state across the nation of Mexico until 1964, when it was finally discontinued by the Democrats in an American Congress that had previously danced to a Republican chorus more concerned with cheap labor than a secure border. For 22-years, business concerns throughout the country had contracted for and utilized the labor the Braceros were more than willing to supply, given the economical climate forced upon the nation of Mexico by an American business doctrine that had assumed ownership of everything in the western hemisphere, including its population. This was an attitude that would eventually result in some terrible abuses to American security, Mexican sovereignity, an economical system that applauded and rewarded labor practices and an ever evolving protocol that represented and retained the closest thing to slavery that either nation had been subjected to since the Reconstruction era, and the contemptible and irrepresable shame that was part and parcel to the unjustifiable burden of racial prejudice, hatred, and blame suffered by latinos ever since.
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE7XEHcpirW2n8hZtE_DCwI2hyphenhyphenjnxqNMCVOmtXmOaqbkSXrqj9_MseOfcUeS52JAJd-DwcOEOzYDzm7cp8bRK9s77uKGOxjEy-JsEwAvsWMcpPAf8GaJVT4yXAN64xT-WoFgaTZGl5SI0/s1600/braceros-6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE7XEHcpirW2n8hZtE_DCwI2hyphenhyphenjnxqNMCVOmtXmOaqbkSXrqj9_MseOfcUeS52JAJd-DwcOEOzYDzm7cp8bRK9s77uKGOxjEy-JsEwAvsWMcpPAf8GaJVT4yXAN64xT-WoFgaTZGl5SI0/s320/braceros-6.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong>Braceros were routinely humiliated</strong></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The Bracero Program, of course, did not become an immediate process of ruination and despair. For the most part, national desperation is difficult to achieve between equal parties. Prostration -- even if it's merely symbolic -- requires submission, and the political climate capable of cooling later conversations had not yet reached that point of severe imbalance necessary to enable criminal acts under the guise of perceived dominance to thrive so readily. Horror needs to be worked into a story over the space of time and activity, especially on an international level. In a field of nations, a certain measure of control is <i>always</i> necessary to avoid war once the gravy chain of malevolence starts to gather speed. Without the prostration described by one nation's submission to another, the complete control necessary to prevent the suffering of strangers from sounding too much like the agony of friends has no place to take root. In 1947, the submission required simply didn't exist. Mexico, you see, was still in a position to make demands that the United States was openly forced to both recognize and to satisfy. Mexico's feud with the State of Texas belongs in this category of international negotiation.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When the sovereign nation of Mexico very publically refused to accept any contracting of its citizens by businesses and individuals located in the State of Texas, they were responding, for the most part, to a plethora of racially motivated insults that were common in America. It was believed throughout Mexico, for what are sound and convincing reasons, that those American citizens who lived in Texas, and indeed, the State of Texas itself, was typically prejudicial and abusive in its treatment of Mexicans and had been for the past century. Given the extent of farming interests within Texas during World War Two, this refusal to contract with businesses associated with or based within the State of Texas tended to be responsible for some very real economic damage within the United States, most explicitly within the State of Texas itself. The governor was forced to adopt a very active role in the efforts to convince Mexico that its citizenry would be safe in Texas, and would be treated with the care and respect they deserved as hard-working guests of the United States. Having been lied to repeatedly, Mexico was understandably doubtful and openly questioned both the motivation and the sincerity of these <i>"promises to be good and worthy neighbors"</i> that Texans were now so openly affirming. These insistent pleas for friendship were bracketed by the sincerity and the urgency expressed by federal interests in Washington, DC, without which Mexican Braceros would have very likely ignored the steadily increasing desparation behind the pleas and promises of interests within the State of Texas. It was apparent that 1947 was expected to be a watershed year for international relations.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The fact that the whole Bracero Program was originally intended to end when the war ended seemed to have been forgotten by both nations when World War Two actually ended. There were some very good reasons for this, just as there were some very bad reasons that nobody really wanted to discuss at the time, a characteristic of international diplomacy that still exists today, primarily within the consistent refusal of the United States Congress to even debate the issue, while simultaneously insisting that something has to be done. It's an unfailing sign of the hypocrisy of political demand that has been well and truly employed for decades in Washington, DC.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Repeatedly since 1942, the <i>Immigration and Naturalization Service</i> very publicly extended the time limits allowable for Mexican Braceros to remain in America under the same agreements and treaties already negotiated with our great neighbor to the south. This was considered necessary, it was agreed, to proactively control the border regions in the southwest. They wanted to take advantage of this federally-sanctioned, labor-based program as the best means to control both Mexican immigration and possible border incursion. The Bracero Program had become something of a <i>cause celebre</i> amongst those seeking a more robust immigration policy and system of border control. Unfortunately, the Bracero Program also enabled American contractors to skirt the issue of immigration entirely by simply refusing to honor the contracts that had already been established.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The Mexicans were still paid, of course, but oftentimes only a fraction of the wages they had been promised, and that the United States had previously guaranteed. You would think that during the state of such a tense and irrefutable war footing, American pride and patriotism would have counted for something, some expression of honesty to an economic and spiritual ally of the United States. Sweet dreams, right? Yeah ... <i>but not so much where money is concerned. </i>The large farming interests that provided much of that pay were not idiots. The wages they offered were all too often retained until the contracts were fulfilled. And that's when "mistakes" can happen. Those "mistakes" sometimes forced Braceros to remain in the United States, moving from farm to farm or migrating to the larger cities for more lucrative employment. Those who did leave would often return the following season to earn the same deflated wages.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This pattern was maintained throughout the war, and had three very closely associated consequences: (1) American farmers got into the habit of paying for seasonal, Mexican labor at a rate that was far lower than anything they could possibly negotiate with American farm workers returning from Europe and the Far East; (2) U.S. government officials were persuaded by those hiring the Braceros to maintain that status quo throughout the war; and (3), because of the first two consequences, Mexican government officials found themselves continuously in conflict with American <i>Immigration and Naturalization Service</i> personnel, angrily lobbying for America to honor its treaty commitments and international obligations to pay the Mexican laborers the wages they were promised, to give them proper housing and food, to provide them with protection from the American criminal classes, and to ensure that the Braceros were treated no differently than any other workers in the United States. This last meant they were not to be forcibly segregated or treated as if they were somehow less deserving of human respect than any citizen of the United States. These agreements were an American promise that the Braceros were to be treated as equals in law by those who employed them. Mexico, however, refused to recognize that these conditions could be achieved within the State of Texas. Its refusal to allow Mexican citizens to bind themselves with contracts that were to be satisfied within the State of Texas was unconditional.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There were other problems with the Bracero Program that would eventually lead to abusive policies that guaranteed a future of tension between peoples, just as they signaled the eventual corruption between nations that would soon evolve into the irresponsible and unfair contempt adopted by American stakeholders who were possessed of only one goal, one abiding desire:<i> to force Mexico to give up its labor force without those conditions required for the pursuit of human dignity that Mexico insisted upon</i>. The tactics of government made this goal necessary, whether intended or not. The United States had unfairly placed the burden of border incursion control on the Mexican government, a tactic that allowed the U.S. to ignore the illegal conditions imposed by those corporations that benefited the most from the imposition of abuses that had already incensed the government of Mexico. By simply complaining that the contracts were improperly applied, Americans could declare that those crossing the border to the north in support of those contracts were doing so illegally, crossing a line in the sand that was "supposed" to be controlled by Mexico. The primary stakeholders -- a group that included the nation’s largest growers, farm lobbying groups, and the congressional farm bloc -- had determined for themselves how best to take advantage of the Bracero Program. More importantly, insofar as the conduct of America's agricultural gentry was concerned, those same stakeholders had already determined that continued abuses of the Bracero Program also increased their profits.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Responsibiliy for those abuses rested to some extent with the American <i>Immigration and Naturalization Service,</i> which interpreted the Bracero Program in terms appropriate to its own interests. In other words, the most significant response to border incursion recognized by the <i>Immigration and Naturalization Service</i> represented an American immigration policy that required no interference with a status quo that was typified by abuse. As such, it provided for accurate records of migrant workers under contract through the Bracero Program while tending to ignore everything else. While this practice encouraged illegal border crossings, it was hardly the most injurious aspect of this policy. The worst problem was a result of America's insistence that Mexico police the border alone without American consideration. This ensured that the "accurate records of migrant workers under contract through the Bracero Program" mentioned above was accurate only when American-Mexican borders were crossed from Mexico into the United States. All of that emphasis that was being placed on Mexico as the controlling "partner" in this fraudulent excuse for an international relationship meant that nobody north of the border cared much about those Braceros who chose to accept additional work, thereby allowing them to remain in the United States working contract to contract, or who simply remained in America after their contracts were fulfilled. They certainly didn't care enough to count them, such a small task, one would think. By ignoring that small task, however, those with the responsibility to do otherwise ensured that the number of migrant workers crossing the border from the United States into Mexico was woefully underestimated and ensured that the <i>Immigration and Naturalization Service</i> could not possibly respond in any dutiful way to the mandate that its very existence demanded: that policy must sensibly meet the challenges imposed upon it by America's refusal to give necessary attention to its own system of national borders.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Over 4-million Mexicans were ultimately allowed into the United States by the time the Bracero Program was shut down. By adopting an immigration policy that commanded the legal and unfettered access of contracted Braceros into the United States, the <em>Immigration and Naturalization Service</em> was symbolically and objectively ignoring the need for a secure border. It should be noted that this was accomplished with a significant measure of irony, given that the migrant workers under contract had nothing whatsoever to do with immigration or naturalization.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAYiWwBezMOkQNXFNEhE1O35NrHiTgveEkypV4m135Tl01Yr9uywki3MRKg4cE3u8CaiMUYi-UrGIXiuT0IqehZwUEQ7lN6jJJpR_X9vejEtbJp3n5HK_0FRdCnO5RWSqC6j6FzT3IrCU/s1600/fa_1302_0254bracerom1940.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAYiWwBezMOkQNXFNEhE1O35NrHiTgveEkypV4m135Tl01Yr9uywki3MRKg4cE3u8CaiMUYi-UrGIXiuT0IqehZwUEQ7lN6jJJpR_X9vejEtbJp3n5HK_0FRdCnO5RWSqC6j6FzT3IrCU/s320/fa_1302_0254bracerom1940.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><strong>The Bracero Program ultimately fostered <br />the admittance of over 4-million laborers</strong></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What the United States had managed to accomplish was technically well beyond the obese bravado these activities ultimately came to represent. Mexico had been forced to assume most of the responsibility for the the management of migrant workers, even those who crossed the border illegally, while American immigration and border policy consisted primarily of negotiating contracts with Braceros seeking what was intended to be temporary employment in America, a practice followed almost immediately by the nation's endemic willingness to ignore those contracts. Insofar as this interpretation of an immigration policy developed on the fly goes, any measurable benefits ultimately came to rest within the United States alone. It sure as Hell wasn't doing anybody else any good.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Unfortunately, life tends to be far more complex than the simple black and white character of an isolated policy normally suggests. In this case, the <em>Immigration and Naturalization Service</em> had instituted a policy that tended to ignore the much wider view framed within the context of American labor policy, a conclusive mistake not applied by other interest-groups and stakeholders such as the nation’s largest growers and farm lobbying groups, the congressional farm bloc, various government officials, and organized labor. For them, the Bracero Program very clearly represented labor policy, <em>not</em> immigration policy. And in the context of labor policy, there were some very definite problems.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The 1947 <em>Taft-Hartley Act</em> specifically excluded agricultural workers from the bargaining advantage that U.S. labor enjoyed and employed everywhere else. The intent was to maintain a status quo favorable to U.S. interests; and U.S. interests clearly insisted on cheap labor, even at the cost of employing illegal migrant workers. This was not much of an effort in the long run. The American <i>Immigration and Naturalization Service </i>simply redefined the issues. Whenever uncontracted and therefore undocumented migrant workers were discovered, they were immediately placed under arrest, processed under a legal system that provided the documentation necessary to negotiate a contract, and then paroled to growers who trucked them to cotton and beet fields in New Mexico and elsewhere where those same contracts were promptly ignored. <em>Again.</em> The process was called <em>“drying out the wetbacks,”</em> and its frequent use in the late 1940s and early 1950s ensured that the available stock of Bracero labor was capable of being expanded by the number of illegal workers apprehended on the United States' side of the border. Illegal migrant workers were essentially dropped into an environment that required cheap labor and allowed to stay as long as they continued to work for the slave wages they were ultimately forced to accept. The United States Congress -- with both chambers controlled by Republicans for the first time since 1931 -- had legislatively created a system that would have been <em>illegal</em> had it been applied against American workers.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Congress, of course, justified its legalization of slave rental by declaring a labor emergency brought about by America's post-war foreign policy. That policy essentially made the United States the primary stakeholder responsible for rebuilding Europe after World War Two. It's difficult to believe that any other nation could have possibly achieved what America had resolved to accomplish within the relatively short amount of time that a new and stable world economy required. That status, however, is hardly relevant to those opposing the new policy, especially that one aspect many Americans considered too great a sacrifice to accomplish: <em>the feeding of those millions who had survived the devastation brought to Europe by the single most destructive war in world history.</em> The better interests of migrant farm workers from Mexico was a price that few people gave any thought to. It was particularly unfortunate that the leadership of the Republican majority that would later convince President Harry Truman to dub the 1948 U.S. Legislature the <em>"Do Nothing Congress"</em> simply didn't believe Mexican citizens were important enough to worry about. More to the point, Republicans were far more concerned with using America's foreign policy to get rich, not to solve problems with border control and labor policy, and employing the cheapest labor possible is a tried and true means of doing exactly that. If America was going to feed all of Europe, it's agricultural interests would necessarily become the center of attention for the entire world. If a Republican-led Congress could prevent the unions from organizing the labor force and its potential within the agricultural industry, a great deal of money could be made by those funneling the resulting profits into their own bank accounts. Any examination of America's health care, insurance, and pharmaceutical industries today proves that the G.O.P. has changed very little over the decades. They still want to increase their own worth, and they still don't give a damn how many lives they destroy in the process.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As for the Braceros that had been picked up at the border by Patient-X, they have become something of a mystery. It's known that they were picked up at the border by Patient-X, because border police watched it happen, and in 1947, <em>everything</em> was logged down, including this pick-up of 10 common laborers on the U.S. side of the border. Unfortunately, between the border and Roswell Army Base where Patient-X was later found, horribly injured and comatose, is a space of time that has become little more than a question mark, a blank spot in history, part of that haunting Dead Zone occupied by Patient-X alone. That blank spot was there well before anybody else in the world had even an inkling of the revelations he would eventually reveal. Before such revelations, even the guessing game sometimes played at amongst historians and the frenetically curious was still just a game. The only thing the rest of the world had that they could bounce off of for inspiration was a sad couple of negatives: no one ever reported seeing those Braceros in America ever again, and not a single one of them ever returned south to their families. It would take another 46 years before some new information could be applied to those insanely cold cases, and that new information would be a stunning reminder of both human cruelty and human incompetence.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It was a full month-and-a-half after Patient-X started to regain consciousness that he was able to talk well enough to be understood, but even then, his words tended to slur and he often forgot where he wanted to take his sentences, or how best to carry a thought from the back of his head to that pause of breath that his lips sometimes failed to recognize. He was all too often forced to drift among the scattered vowels and consonants populating his loss until he could start over again with a little more clarity. Because of this handicap, and it was a horrifying one nobody really wanted to recognize or witness, conversations could be difficult at times even when they were as short as a request for a little water.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ardajio Jonas, the Veteran's Administration representative attached to the Santa Fe facility where Patient-X was trying to recover spent a lot of time with this once healthy young man who fell into unconsciousness and awakened an old and dying man of 73 years. Their very short friendship started as a show of sympathy, but Ardajio very soon came to admire the character and honesty of this odd and forgotten old man, this Rip Van Winkle of the modern age. "There was just something about him -- something that was serious and kind and without an ounce of sadness; he was thankful for simply being conscious and possessing the humble ability to communicate. How many people can you say that about? <em>He was completely disarming; </em>it was all very unexpected, and more than a little sad. He was well aware that his time was running out, and that is a curse many men would have held inside, letting it fester and turn into the worst kind of unreasonable anger. But that just wasn't in him. He had a smile for every thought in the day. And I've never met a man who was so genuinely thankful to God for granting him one more day to fill up with conversation. If truth be told, that was my only real reason for spending so much time with him. <em>I didn't have to be there.</em> Hell, I was VA and he weren't no veteran. He could make you feel good for breathin' though. <em>Thankful.</em> An' that's a truly rare gift."</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Jonas spent some weeks discussing the past 46 years with Patient-X, but the entire time the VA rep could not help but notice that there was sometimes an odd disinterest evident in the patient's broad demeanor the closer the subject of those discussions came to the present day. It was as evident a structure of the man's personality as that terrifying coma once was. It seemed to Jonas that the further back in time these discussions eventually came to center on, the more attentive Patient-X was, and the more urgent his expressions became. There was something missing in his history, something that was making it difficult for him to recenter himself into his newly awakened state. These were strange suppositions for a man like Jonas to face down. After all, he was an administrator at best; he simply wasn't equipped to analyze the environment and the weathering of another man's mind. On the other hand, the fact that he was unable to define in any convincing way the mysteries he was now facing didn't make them any less possessive of his thoughts when he was ultimately left to his own memories and conditions and human flaws. More importantly, Jonas wasn't the only person to notice this apparently historical defect to the newly awakened soul, nor the hollow inattentiveness that normally billowed like gentle yet aggressive furnitures crumbling with near disinterest on the far side of the older man's memory. "Hell, I'm not exactly the brightest spoon in the drawer, so I'm pretty sure I wasn't the first one in that hospital to notice what was going on. I don't know exactly who saw it first, but I'm pretty certain they had nothin' to do with me."</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It was the doctors, of course. Once they recognized the possibilities inherent to the near daily conversations between Jonas and Patient-X, they realized that this might represent their best means of keeping their patient alive. The self-assessment effect has long been recognized as a possible tool for the treatment of long-term coma patients who have spent years in the minimally conscious state so many fail to recover from. The self-assessment doctrine tends to force those applying it to maintain the newly awakened concentration on their own mentality and its effect on any physical changes such concentration may in fact be responsible for. On the other hand, the existence of any newly awakened consciousness, particularly one that has been quiet and unused for such a long period of time is extremely rare, so doctors are forced to rely on a whole lot of theory surrounded by a tissue's worth of conversation. In addition, self-assessment is a difficult task to apply when the condition of the patient's memory is largely unknown. It is even more pronounced when the patient's musculature and internal organs have been largely unused to any significant extent. Nonetheless, the rarity of the phenomenon is still the greatest handicap to work through, especially when consciousness has been given free reign over the subtle monsters of man's lazy incontinence. The rarity of the issues ensures that we can never have enough data to properly predict with any real confidence how one particular individual is going to react to whatever changes to his environment that we determine to introduce for whatever medical reasons we're trying to work through. Without that knowledge-based confidence to rely on, we're forced to contend with a lot of guesswork. If your patient is so close to death that even the slightest change in treatment can toss him back into a coma, or even kill him outright, guesswork can be murder for medical personnel to work through; sometimes, depending upon one's point of view, that can be the literal truth.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In the case of Patient-X, self-assessment was difficult to confirm, primarily because nobody knew the point where an accurate memory might give way to fantasy. Some doctors were convinced that forcing the patient to experience events that could not be confirmed as actual history might not only force the patient to rely on false memories as emotive portals into a possibly inaccurate or conditional field of remembrance, it could even promote a firm suspicion of internal doubt so great as to suspend the patient's belief. And belief is a powerful thing, particularly so in such an uncertain arena as the mind of a man in his 70's with the neuron tracks of a man in his 20's.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Post-comatic mentality is rarely strong enough to overcome the stress normally expected to accompany even the partial erasure of one's temporal foundation, and when that happens in a patient whose mind has already failed at least once to recover from a happenstance that would very likely kill any other man in the entire world -- and, yes, statistically that is exactly the horror that has already become an ingrained and sculpted facet of such a man's defined humanity -- the very real threat of almost certain rejection of self is every bit as threatening to the newly awakened after the expense of such time as a bullet to the head. In any case, that was the fear. There has simply never been a sample group large enough to inspire confidence in our medical expectations.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The doctors had noticed that most of the conversations between their patient and Ardajio Jonas were primarily one-sided narratives meant to address the patient's ignorance of his many years of silence passed but not experienced. These discussions lacked the experiential factors that recovery patients needed the most. In the same method of unconscious recovery from illness used by patients under conditions imposed by the placebo effect, the unconscious affirmations of one's own history can often -- relative, of course, to the significantly small dataset researchers are forced to contend with -- provide the foundation of one's identity necessary for the maintenance of a secure and healthy mentality. As we often see when the placebo effect comes into play, a healthy body can be the unexpected bounty of conditions imposed upon the mind. Unfortunately, in the case of recovering coma patients, the opposite can sometimes prove detrimental to that recovery, and that was something Patient-X's doctors sincerely wanted to avoid.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The staff eventually broached the subject with Jonas, explaining that any interest the patient showed in the events surrounding the accident that had brought him to this evident impasse in his life could possibly be a great benefit to the healing process. Of course, they recognized as well that any detailed examination of the subject would probably have to be initiated by the patient himself.<i> "This was just in case," </i>as they put it. His constitution, being so weak, might not breathe the still air favorably if his attentions were to be forced into a laser beam of well-focused confrontation his mind had no desire to wander upon. A man's memories leave a kind of red hot branding on his personality that all too often can't be predicted. Often, men simply refuse to examine themselves at the depths necessary for the catalyst of a psychological breakthrough to occur, and when that man can only discuss 26 years and a few months out of his 73-year lifespan, there's very little that can be predicted. He was, after all, dying and had been for 46-years. It would be cruel to force him to relive anything, let alone the accident of his life that took those 46-years away. It's a fickle fate, however, that measures the benefits that are possible when those affirmations are confronted. And as we've already noted, when you're addressing issues involving those recovering from a long term comatic state, it's impossible not to guess a lot.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The parallel indices that we use to define our place in time are not often so completely isolated as those that fate spun and braided for Patient-X. Whereas one man's lifeline would naturally break and bend as it applied recognizably common interactions with the lives of other men, the lone character of one man's 46-years of silent communion within a universe he was to all outward assurances unaware of might very well appear to us as part of our environment, like a forest or the blasted torrid furnace of a desert, something to encounter without any expectations of communal response. It was already apparent that Patient-X had been violently uprooted and tossed like a sauce-pot by an otherwise unaware God into a quiet world of imposed nonexistence for 46 barely endurable years. To suggest that this had been accomplished merely to allow the present to catch up with the future until another man's story might first develop of its own accord before being granted leave to cross paths with the secret void represented in the heart of the comatose man would seem intemperate even to the least aware amongst us. After all, Patient-X was clearly a man composed of little more than beginnings and endings, a man lacking almost entirely both the substance and the superficial of a normal man's livelier years.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>For a much younger man named Roger Craggett, the story was entirely different ...</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Craggett, you see, had been adopted as an infant by a quiet, lonely couple already in their fifties when they decided to enlarge their family. He had been told throughout his childhood that he was born in a small town outside of St. Louis, Missouri before being wrapped up in the ancient love of a couple of well-intentioned and well-doctrinated Episcopalians who eventually grew eager to settle in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Their plans originally required them to move south into Texas. Those plans fell apart, however. They discovered that it was impossible for them to relax is such an environment. They lived there for less than two months, leaving only upon discovering for themselves how uncomfortable the people made them feel. To be fair, they had only spent a couple of weeks in Houston, and a little over a month in El Paso, but they had always maintained that those couple of months were entirely sufficient. Any longer, they insisted, would have been verging on the excessive, and they had always believed that good and fair opinions should be based on as much data as possible, while critical opinions must be based on as little real data as necessary. The Craggetts very firmly believed that the centerpiece of a man's better nature must be so significant as to eviscerate doubt, while a man's faults and the harsh features of his personality must be assumed in order to force those inclined to venerate their leaders to raise the value of their expectations. Roger, of course, had a very difficult childhood, but only before he had finally determined that men could never be trusted. On those rare occasions when trust, appreciation, and sometimes even nobility became apparent, it was best not to discuss such opinions with his parents, convinced as they were that idolatry was at all times a grievous and disappointing character flaw that should be rooted out from the hearts of even the best of men. Young Craggett learned at an unfortunately early age that whenever his thoughts of other men encompassed feverish doctrines such as horror and contempt, such opinions were almost always much easier to discuss and defend.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">These quiet yet outspoken qualities he was forced to examine in his youth ensured Craggett's complete and utter ignorance about his own beginnings in life. Insofar as his abilities could be measured and applied, he became entirely skeptical that anything of real use would eventually pop up as he embraced his future as well, a certainty that guaranteed he would know even less about his endings than most men come to expect. After having abandoned himself to his livelier years long ago, it was perhaps appropriate that the connective disorder fate had almost maliciously reserved for these two very unique men would require many years of incubation for each before the possibility that such an intense crosswinding of opposing forces could bear real fruit. For Patient-X, 46-years had been reserved then set aside as useless merely to provide the mental acclimation necessary to create an eventual foil for Craggett's intimate and thereby inconsistent rages, the sources of which lay somewhere in the past, albeit undefined and resistent to all examination. <em>Was fate cruel?</em> Perhaps ... It is far more likely, however, that fate had merely thrown instances of time together without approbation or cause. Any cruelty the universe may have been stoking up between these two personalities had already occurred and the wages of misfortune that may have been earned as a result had already been spent and accounted for.
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><em><strong>"Flying Saucers piss me off!"</strong></em></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The primary result of the invasive conditioning that Craggett fell victim to, even when ignorance of the other players in our drama had been carefully implanted by the mute wisdom of time, would have been as clear as glass had anyone been inclined to look for it. Roger Craggett's livelier years had created the impetus, one protected to some extent by the arrogance of personal certainty, to retreat with disgust from all things -- even those elements discovered within the contours of his own life -- that were improperly defined, supported only by conjecture, discussion, or the attentions of curious nature, and offering no revelations or allowing even the simplest of conclusions to be reached by any stillborn application of logic. This overmanaged disgust had a very real psychological effect on the man's character, albeit one that could only be detected as an aspect of conversation refined by opinion. Over the course of decades, he had learned very well the singularity most consistent within a world of mad ambition and resolute science that was populated primarily by the ignorant and the poorly educated. When curiosity and character unexpectedly meet at the crossroads between faith and fantasy, the result, at least for Craggett, was always a fever of grave contempt. It reflects the impatience of a man who questions everything, but demands an explanation that holds up in the midst of both violent conjecture and well-harbored ridicule. It lights up an emotional outburst of arrogance that's often governed by the skepticism of late bloomers surrounded by petty and ignorant paragraph pushers in a field of well-publicized nonsense.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">All of which explains why most of central New Mexico knows exactly who you're making fun of when you shake your head violently, hunch your shoulders and say in a cracked and hate-filled voice, <i>"flying saucers piss me off!"</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Thus ends our Part One...</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This work is the culmination of </span><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>The Saucerologist's</i></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> most complex and lengthy investigation to date. As a result, the necessity for travelling throughout the States of New Mexico, Maryland, Georgia, and Utah to conduct interviews and to access numerous archives of personal records has increased significantly the expenses and time required to complete the task. While it's true that we would prefer not to incur such a taxing condition, we would nonetheless be far more dissatisfied were we to ignore such obstacles that fate has placed before us. Now before our constant readers get their little tillies in a willy that oh, bother! pooh bear's gonna ask us for a contribution to keep the meryl streep weepers sweeping, rest assured, nothing of the sort will ever happen at </span><i><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The Saucerologist</span></i><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. The only contribution that was ever provided us was immediately turned over to another website entirely -- one that we have no control over and no honest means to politicize for good or for ungood. That website advocates for the immediate colonization of the moon by crooked gangs of communist engineers on the close side and NAZI Frigidaire repairbots on the dark side. Then you hide a bunch of various weapons such as big sticks with nails protruding out on one side or handguns without any ammunition or pumice stones made of steel wool all over the place, plant a huge pile of wireless video cameras tuned to a single frequency and then wait for the fireworks to blow and the subscriptions to roll in. We think it's the most phantastical money making mirage we've never seen and can't wait to get it out of the boardroom, and onto the pay-per-view. No, we only mention the expense so our constant readers will understand the daily sacrifices we make on their behalf, and grow to appreciate our insincerity just a little bit more than yesterday or the day before. So please, remember and tell your sugar daddies and boogie uncles that ...</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Part Two will be published right here in a bit of time measured out by clockwatchers in steps of quality found at the end of grace! And always remember:</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; font-weight: bold;">This is a Saucer Press International Publication</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15110659214862886339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273907814703568880.post-86783736139068346692016-10-12T20:42:00.010-07:002016-10-14T06:08:48.974-07:00Ancient Bible Linked to Gray Aliens!<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>New Dead Sea Scrolls Published!</b></span></span></h2>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>The First Creation and Where It Went Off the Rails</i></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">SPI TEL AVIV, ISRAEL -- In a surprise announcement that was predictably held back until the publication of the two books detailing the discoveries, 25 previously unpublished fragments of the Hebrew Bible that were scattered amongst the original Dead Sea Scrolls discovered in the Qumran caves have ignited debate around the world. Americans, of course, were the first to warn scholars that none of these fragments have been properly authenticated, and merely accepting the claims without voicing doubts would be unwise given the character of other religious finds in the same area. The thing about Americans is they expect everything to be a fake unless it was discussed by Mom when they were little, or by that lady with the blonde hair who gave us all lessons in Sunday School.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The many scroll fragments that have been recovered record portions of the Bible's earliest books: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Deuteronomy, Samuel, Ruth, Kings, Micah, Nehemiah, Proverbs, Psalms, and Ezekiel, among others. Portions from a previously unknown version of Genesis, recently dubbed <em>Genesis II</em>, have also been found amongst the fragments, and this particular version has lit up church attendance rolls like a spark in a gasoline pit. Some church leaders have gone so far as to suggest that those who attempt to understand this new gospel usually end the day by dressing up like evil clowns and jumping out from the bushes to frighten young children -- <i>young children who believe in God.</i></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i> </i></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9bM40tSiNydssW-r2kNom8Pxi_EX7OjYlkKtnfs8zbeI_3SZJqHE04098gTvEnlk18-C9R1rMhN6GI3mkBm5b47jRKkUZ22cdntFM2ZuIpCuKCqnIBp7QrxItGc01uRsCu6Nw1-EzwMU/s1600/IMG_6388.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9bM40tSiNydssW-r2kNom8Pxi_EX7OjYlkKtnfs8zbeI_3SZJqHE04098gTvEnlk18-C9R1rMhN6GI3mkBm5b47jRKkUZ22cdntFM2ZuIpCuKCqnIBp7QrxItGc01uRsCu6Nw1-EzwMU/s320/IMG_6388.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>One of the Qumran caves where the<br />Dead Sea Scrolls were discovered</b></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow;">The Saucerologist</span><span style="color: white;"> offices were stunned yesterday upon having received a personal videophone communication from one of the original Gray Alien Ambassadors, an individual named Repplesmunck Yoleoderff. Regular readers of </span><span style="color: yellow;">The Saucerologist</span><span style="color: white;"> will recall that Yoleoderff has been our primary source for a number of important articles, including the breeding program story published last December (for further details please note the article linked to <a href="http://saucerologist.blogspot.com/2015/12/starbucks-xmas-controversy-leads-to.html">http://saucerologist.blogspot.com/2015/12/starbucks-xmas-controversy-leads-to.html</a>) that discusses the secret application of alien science from which the Republican candidate for President, Donald Trump, is said to have originated. Another recent article that we have published established our great surprise that Yoleoderff had taken the remarkable step to contact our offices to discuss details previously unknown to our staff, points that readers are welcome to look up for themselves (we'll never publish more than one link per article). Our reporters have often contacted the alien for various comments, including his take on a number of issues we were interested in at the time, and we're they shall do so in the future as well. Sometimes he had a statement or a claim to confirm, and sometimes he did not. He was always gracious, however, and never gave any indication that he was angry or uninterested in the topics discussed.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yesterday, however, Yoleoderff contacted us for only the second time since our incorporation, and our staff was once again startled and greatly surprised that this alien would reach out to <i>us. </i>We were even more so upon discovering the alien's intent and those matters he wished to address. The topic alone -- that being the the publication of previously unknown fragments from the original Dead Sea Scrolls discovered last century in the caves of Qumran -- was surprising in itself. We had no idea that he was interested in our ancient religious artifacts, but he made it immediately clear that the information he wished to pass on was genuinely extraordinary. He wanted to inform us that fragments of the Biblical text that has lately been dubbed <i>Genesis II</i> was also well known on his world.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Most surprising, however, was Yoleoderff's insistence that the primary text of <i>Genesis II</i> was well known <i>centuries</i> before any contact with Earth had been achieved. His people, he claims, were completely unaware of Earth's existence at that time. He was more than helpful, providing a complete account of <i>Genesis II</i>, which his people call <i>"And So It Begins", </i>which can also be translated as<i> "And There It Goes".</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Translators especially hired for this occasion by our staff are very clear and completely unanimous in the independent conclusions they have reached: the fragments discovered at Qumran and the actual alien text provided to </span><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The Saucerologist</span><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> by Yoleoderff are too consistent and far too exact to represent anything at all except <i>the total confirmation by one of the other.</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The text provided to us by Ambassador Repplesmunck Yoleoderff is published in its entirety below. It is the first time that this document has ever been published on the planet Earth, and it represents the original basis of the fragments that were finally published late last week. We have taken the liberty to render the text attributed to God in red type, just as the <i>King James Version</i> of our own Bible has done for many generations. According to Yoleoderff, the translation of the text below is exact: </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>In the beginning there was Doubt ...</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And so to strengthen the Faith of the Children of the Abyss, God on the high mounts created light to cleave through the darkness of Doubt, for knowledge and understanding has always been the path of righteous men, and has always strengthened his Faith in the ways of nature and in the ways of God. Having never seen light, the Children of the Abyss stared in wonderment, but God strode amongst them with a fiery and thunderous voice, scattering them pell and then mell across the face of the world and instructing them, <i><span style="color: red;">"don't stare at the light, you damn fools!"</span></i> and they were frightened of the thunder, and opened their eyes even wider than before.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And for an instant, the fear stepped in, for the flashing of the newly created light and of the fiery words of God burned their virginous retinas, and so they fell back amongst themselves, blinded by the coursers of God's lesson. But there followed great wonderment amongst the Children of the Abyss, for they had been given the briefest of glimpses of the whole of Creation as it glittered like a song beneath the light the Lord of Hosts had generated within the creatures of His Abyss.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Two of the scrolls discovered at Qumran</b></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Having been blinded by the light created by God to destroy the Great Doubt they had always known, the Children of the Abyss could only imagine the whole of Creation, and so they described amongst themselves what the briefest flash of light had revealed. Some of them had been gazing at the mountains, and some had been gazing at the seas. Many had been looking upward at the skies, expecting something, but not knowing what. They described Creation to each other and combined what they saw with the descriptions given by other Children. Each tried to convince the others that God loved them best, for God gave them a vision of Creation much greater than that given to the rest. Before long their descriptions had parted ways with the Truth, and the Creation they now imagined was so much greater than the Creation God had originally wrought for their amazement, that God stepped back and thought <span style="color: red;">"verily, each creates for himself what has never been and never will be, and it exceeds My own Creation, the only Creation that truly exists."</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>And He was a little pissed off at this New Thing that had been created from nothing.</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In His anger, but modulated a little bit so no one could ever say with any real certainty that it was a curse or that it was a blessing, God told the Children of the Abyss, <span style="color: red;">"You shall live your lives blinded to what is real and what is unreal. You shall never know what is True, for you are from this day forth separated from the Truth of My Creation."</span> It occurred to some of the Children that God's words were neither a curse nor a blessing, but merely a statement of personal observation, and if the Truth be known, few of the Children could say with any certainty which interpretation was more or less correct than the others, for most heard it not for themselves, but from those others who claimed to have heard the Word with their own ears.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In general, the Children of the Abyss heard very little of the curse or the blessing or the observation, because they were speaking so quickly and so excitedly amongst themselves and to each other, one trying to top the wild speculations and the vivid descriptions of Creation that the other had presented, while another was more interested in making his voice change frequency over many octaves, because he had less verbal creativity but could definitely write a damn decent tune. And the Children grew loud and argued for their own vision of Creation with such falsehood and deception that God brought forth His own anger and told the Children of the Abyss, <span style="color: red;">"Will you please just shut up! There is only one Creation and that is the Creation I alone have brought forth from the Nothingness!"</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And the Children replied, <i>"Yes, yes, we know;</i> we saw it for just a quick moment, but it was very beautiful..." and they started up again, one insisting that the beauty he saw was much greater than the beauty the others saw, and then started describing it, but before too long another's description got so much louder that the Children listened to the author of that description for a bit. It was all so decidedly ridiculous that God stood in amazement, looking upon the blind Children of the Abyss as they competed with each other regarding what their briefest of sights had revealed before they fell back blinded for all of eternity. It was all pretty damn amazing, so He just watched them for a bit longer, occasionally gnashing His teeth when He heard something that distressed Him, or made Him angry and sometimes left Him bewildered and confused, for His great Creation was no longer being observed, but everybody was nonetheless talking about it and most often describing aspects of it that were completely <i>wrong. </i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: red;">"You runts do know that you're now blind as bats, don't you?"</span></i> He asked the Children of the Abyss, mystified.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Well, of course we know. <i>We're not stupid.</i> And we all think that You're just the best damn God there is, 'cause you did exactly what you set out to do. <i>You destroyed the Great Doubt forever!"</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: red;">"No, I didn't,"</span> God insisted.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Yes, You did," the Children replied, shouting <i>"Hooray for God!!"</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: red;">"You're a bunch of freaking<i> nutbags,</i> you are. All I did was create light, and I blasted it forth across all of Creation, because in the presence of light, you Children could examine Creation and know<i> without</i> Doubt that it is stronger, that it has an internal logic to it, that it can be examined and defined. It is your <i>use of light</i> that was to destroy Doubt, but you didn't even bother to use it. You just got surprised a bit, opened up your baby blues, and destroyed your own goddamned retinas, so now you can't see. And that means you can't examine, you cannot test, you have no means with which to determine the Truth from the false, and that means you've turned into a bunch of pathetic little blind creatures talking amongst yourselves while saying absolutely <i>nothing</i> that makes sense, and you're going to spend the rest of your eternity once again in the dark, surrounded by Doubt, and competing with each other to see who has the loudest, the least likely, and the most ridiculous concept of my great Creation. <i>It's absolutely pathetic!"</i></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Well, that's just not true," said the youngest of the Children of the Abyss. "Before our retinas burned out -- and I think that's just the coolest name, by the way,<i> retinas</i> -- none of us had the ability to understand your great Creation, because it was just too damn dark to examine it. And in those days, we <i>Doubted </i>everything! We even<i> Doubted</i> You, at times, because we don't know a whole lot about <i>You, </i>except for that meaningless crap about You being the Alpha and the Omega, and that You are, because <i>You are.</i> Not a whole lot there to go on, You know? But of course, You know. You know <i>everything</i>. It's Your <i>shtick</i>, Your <i>thing!</i> But then, You went and gave us a glimpse, just a really short <i>glimpse</i> of all of Your Creation! Now, we didn't get a whole lot of details, but we know that all of us saw a little bit of it, and so, given a little time -- well, mebbe a <i>lot </i>of time -- sooner or later, we'll probably figure it out, just because there's a whole lot of us. And since we know that we'll probably figure it out as long as we discuss it over coffee and cake a few million, billion times, there's <i>nothing</i> to Doubt. It's just a matter of getting from here to there. <i>Savvy?"</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Well, that's just ... that's just ...<i> that's fucking insane!!</i> I didn't create a bunch of<i> idiots!</i> You're the Children of the Abyss!"</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Well, apparently You didn't create <i>Doubt,</i> either, but there it is. You could have just told us what was True and what was false, and that would have gotten rid of <i>Doubt</i> as well, and we would <i>still be able to see, </i>but I guess that solution was just too<i> easy</i> for God to use. Trying to be creative, were you?"</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>"I am Creation, child."</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"And yet, You fail to understand that we, as your Creations, might one day come to have Faith in our <i>own </i>creations."</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: red;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: red;">"Your creations are false.</span> </span><i style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">They have no basis in reality.</i><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <span style="color: red;">They are words you string along across a field of <i>nothing.</i> They have no structure within the universe I have made for you, and so there is no reality within which you can examine them and perceive the Truth."</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Well, just listen to You. In one breath, You insist that You have made the universe for us, and with the other, You tell us we can't play with it as if it is our own. What else should we do with it?<i> We're all blind, you know.</i> That kind of limits the use that any creature can muster up on demand. <i>Good Lord!</i> Play is all we've got left."</span></span></div>
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<i style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: red;">"You're not supposed to play with it, you damn fool! You're supposed to study and learn from it!"</span></i></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"And given all of eternity, do You seriously believe that's never going to happen? And in any case, You said You wanted to get rid of Doubt."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I want <i>you</i> to get rid of Doubt using the tools that I have blessed you with."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Yes, yes, and we're all very thankful for that. In any case, we have actually rid ourselves and our condition of <i>Doubt.</i> We've replaced it with <i>Faith,</i> which, like <i>Truth,</i> is also stronger than<i> Doubt."</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>"You're supposed to learn Truth, not Faith."</i></span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhffqj3qdDnEgNXIR2NlQdaXeD3qF7j7W4eNX3y-1KMoxXA8mgsWCILjSg5PWypjcJc851OOJy1zc2xczqVsy9TZz5kh_CGDIefjaECluJovTM3uRDDApHBUxyYT1KZXDNQhJ-L74JHCnA/s1600/Dead-Sea-Scrolls.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhffqj3qdDnEgNXIR2NlQdaXeD3qF7j7W4eNX3y-1KMoxXA8mgsWCILjSg5PWypjcJc851OOJy1zc2xczqVsy9TZz5kh_CGDIefjaECluJovTM3uRDDApHBUxyYT1KZXDNQhJ-L74JHCnA/s320/Dead-Sea-Scrolls.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Genesis II an alien document, say Grays</b></span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Well obviously, we thought that we were supposed to get rid of <i>Doubt, </i>not reconstruct <i>Truth.</i> Given the fact that we have no confident means with which to properly examine any or all of Your Creation, it's somewhat remarkable that we have nonetheless done away with the Great Doubt that once percolated so annoyingly amongst Your Children. We've discovered a more creative way to banish the Great Doubt, but only because it is the only way that You have left us. We have no means by which to prove or to gauge what each of us tells the other, and so we must blindly accept what is told to us, just as we must now blindly accept what little we know about the universe that surrounds us. You probably should have explained Your intentions in regard to Truth and Faith just a little better, and You should probably have done so before we blinded ourselves by gazing upon Your Creation."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: red;">"It wasn't My Creation that blinded You. <i>It was the Light of God's Word."</i></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Well, having never seen either one before, how were we supposed to know that? And why does our God now tell us that our <i>Faith</i> is weak and unintentional, and that <i>Truth </i>must be learned, but only under those conditions that are now impossible to achieve? If I remember it correctly, You said, <i>'And so to strengthen the Faith of the Children of the Abyss, God on the high mounts created light to cleave through the darkness of Doubt, for knowledge and understanding has always been the path of righteous men, and has always strengthened his Faith in the ways of nature and in the ways of God.'</i> Isn't that it?"</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I was trying to be flowery, and a little bit poetic for the sake of future generations."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"That's probably something else You should have explained."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Yes, <i>probably.</i> There seems to be a great deal of error in my work."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I wouldn't say<i> error.</i> Let's just say we didn't meet Your full expectations, but now we're doing things in remarkable ways, that You never expected of us, and so You are pleased with Your Creation and with Your Children of the Abyss."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"No. I would call my work<i> 'error prone'</i>. The only thing I need to consider now, is whether or not to erase My great Creation and start over with a new intent and a new cast of characters -- a <i>reboot,</i> if you will."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"So now you're <i>threatening</i> us, because You made some fundamental mistakes? Want us to pull up the line a little? Put the roots down a little closer to each other? Straighten up and fly low or you're going to<i> burn all of us where we stand?"</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"No. I've already created a place for that; you would have to be sent there at some point I haven't yet determined. In any case, I'll have to think it through a bit. Might take me awhile, so don't expect much of a hands on approach where you Children are concerned. I have great things to consider."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Fine ... <i>You go do that.</i> As for us, we're going to go play around with our newly born or newly found <i>Faith. </i>Maybe we'll see if it's possible for us to use our Faith in order to create Doubt."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>"What!?"</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Just kidding. You go on and have some fun ..."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And so the Lord God on high went down the mountain a little ways to think things through, and from that day to this, He has neither been seen nor heard.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>And before the ending, there was Silence...</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">This is a Saucer Press International Publication</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15110659214862886339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273907814703568880.post-89504403018522384652016-08-22T20:42:00.001-07:002017-03-17T08:39:00.549-07:00Attorney General Approves Extradition of Alien Gray American<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>Eugenics Offenses May Affect U.S. Election</b></span></div>
<h2 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Is Trump God? Or Does He Just Think He Is?</b></span></h2>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">SPI WASHINGTON DC -- The Department of Justice turned the whole nature or nurture argument of human personality on its head today when it approved the extradition of Alien Gray Tuktukleetobon Frijik, an American citizen, to the virtual nation of Zolomon where he will be tried and held accountable by the laws of that nation on several counts of the recently legislated Eugenics Platform laws. While the United States Department of Justice has wholeheartedly recognized the necessity for enacting such laws governing the secret experimentation by one intelligent species upon another, this is the first case in which an American citizen will be held accountable for illegal acts by another nation.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The subject of the experiments performed by the defendant was Mr. Fred Trump, the father of Republican Presidential Candidate, Donald John Trump. The experiment itself is alleged to have occurred in October 1945, and the happy result, according to the already publicly admitted confessions of the defendant, is Mr. Donald J. Trump himself. The Department of Justice cites the alleged time period in which the eugenics experiment took place as one of the primary reasons the extradition was allowed to proceed. While the United States has enacted several statutes comparable to the Eugenics Platform laws legislated by the virtual nation of Zolomon, those laws that would be best applied to the experiments conducted by Tuktukleetobon Frijik in 1945 include an element not found in the Zolomonian laws: a statute of limitations going back only fifty years, making the prosecution of Mr. Frijik illegal. Republican lawmakers had insisted on the inclusion of such limitations during the final vote to establish the legislation. At the time, they argued that the limitation was necessary because it would allow our nation's legal convictions to proceed "outside of the glare of World War Two," which is still considered by most Americans to represent the period during which the worst eugenics offenses in human history took place. Being one of the oldest known races in the administrative group of galaxies that includes our solar system, and one that considers themselves to be nearly immortal, the Alien Gray race inhabiting the virtual nation of Zolomon cleansed their legal system of such divisive tools as the statute of limitations many millions of years ago shortly after successfully transferring a single consciousness into one of the far more permanent bodies they currently use for travelling to other inhabited planets. </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjiBEcCcsVe1QRj9IvFTlIrmEukUXBY46_reS4VDfKCsw6-zAwsxzKIeMmEhEvleQPZfxzH7OZTaRm9a-lAwBW055w03__EjTx5WiZU7SMjRVBSDsrym5YYLISAfYNEE1nDtnCyktp-B4/s1600/maxresdefault+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjiBEcCcsVe1QRj9IvFTlIrmEukUXBY46_reS4VDfKCsw6-zAwsxzKIeMmEhEvleQPZfxzH7OZTaRm9a-lAwBW055w03__EjTx5WiZU7SMjRVBSDsrym5YYLISAfYNEE1nDtnCyktp-B4/s400/maxresdefault+%25281%2529.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">The prosecution of Mr. Frijik is not the first time <br />America has had to wrestle with the issue of eugenics.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The specific crimes that the defendant Tuktukleetobon Frijik is being prosecuted for involve the weight of scientific standards, evidence, and procedures that the government of the United States is, to a great degree, unfamiliar with. At the same time, however, the Department of Justice emphasizes that the scientific characterization of the crimes has been accepted as valid by almost all courts of law and systems of judgment in the United States, excluding only that of public opinion. It should be noted, however, that the general public of the United States has already been shown in numerous court cases to be "dangerously ignorant in regard to common science, a quality that is primarily the effect of decades of conservative, Bible Belt America's refusal to educate their children sufficiently enough to utilize the same level of knowledge necessary to be considered competitive throughout the rest of the nation." This affirmation has already been recognized as a point of order in the case of</span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Tuppence Weatherbottom vs. The State of Kansas, </i>so the</span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> lack of understanding noted in regard to public opinion is not considered much of a handicap.</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As defined by the Alien Gray scientific community standards protocol, defendant Tuktukleetobon Frijik is accused of "precipitating dangerous personality confabulations" committed during the standard application of spermatozoon integration with a human subject, that subject having been approved for breeding insertion only, a condition very well documented during the patient's inclusion into the breeding program. According to Alien Gray science that has only recently been accepted as conditional to United States law, a "fluctuating protein" was attached by the defendant to the generating spermatozoon gamete, a practice well-documented within the <i>Alien Gray Scientific Archive of Human Research</i> that is currently preserved in the custodial holdings of the <i>Migrant Ascension Clan Head Keeper </i>to enable a specified personality integration to become dominant within the approaching zygote. The procedure in question is not fully understood by the United States legal community, but the effects of this unwarranted personality experiment was considered so egregious and so potentially damaging not only to the family of the subject, but to the entire nation, that the legal doctrine for the case before the court was allowed to proceed, albeit only on the condition that the offender Tuktukleetobon Frijik be tried under judicial restraints outside of the United States' territorial holdings on Earth or elsewhere.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">According to the record of pre-trial assessments, the defendant was attempting to cross-breed personalities, a practice not fully recognized by any human scientific communities. According to Alien Gray science, however, personalities are associated with the standard number of chromosomes integrated under species enlightenment chains bound with various proteins to the resulting zygote. The defendant Tuktukleetobon Frijik, however, was not attempting to integrate a known personality to the subject, although that alone would have been illegal in accordance with the recently legislated Eugenics Platform laws of the United States. Frijik was attempting to create a whole new personality standard by attaching an erasure bound protein found primarily in plant life to the fluctuating protein of a human subject, creating thereby a new personality with unique features of its own.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Anticipating the legal and moral issues rising from this case, Attorney General Loretta E. Lynch released the following statement: "The United States recognizes that the Alien Gray's virtual nation of Zolomon has a great deal more experience prosecuting many of the Eugenics Platform laws that have been enacted by both of our nations. Given that much of the technology utilized by the defendant to carry out his alleged crimes was originally developed by various national interests native to Zolomon, and that said technologies have only recently been shared with the governments of North America, our current administration, under the advisement of the United States Senatorial Science Board, the House of Representatives Migrant Committee, the current Zolomonian ambassador to the United States, the current <i>Migrant Ascension Clan Head Keeper</i> and the U.S. Department of Justice, has determined that our natural inclination to provide the most stable platform for the pursuit of justice necessitates the extradition of Mr. Frijik to the virtual nation of Zolomon. Once his new status has been received and confirmed, he will be tried in accordance with laws already agreed upon and enacted by the representatives of both of our great nations.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0njE_mZDY2eo3R2yrquFTMi2oi2-yXSzn1tNBXNMtnjF99xCZoJ6PFF0VoNo0buXPD78lja3GmYZ0LPvFM0FPxlNRxTeCMhkMk373-NLU8i_yzKb8sy2nS_h-UAA0woiY-zDxLhHPy2Y/s1600/15-donald-trump-isis.w710.h473.2x.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="284" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0njE_mZDY2eo3R2yrquFTMi2oi2-yXSzn1tNBXNMtnjF99xCZoJ6PFF0VoNo0buXPD78lja3GmYZ0LPvFM0FPxlNRxTeCMhkMk373-NLU8i_yzKb8sy2nS_h-UAA0woiY-zDxLhHPy2Y/s320/15-donald-trump-isis.w710.h473.2x.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: small;">"No, I swear to you, it's this big!"</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"The egregious nature of the crimes allegedly committed by this particular individual are so offensive, and so contrary to the cultural and moral ideals commonly shared by both the Human and the Alien Gray races, that we believe it is supremely necessary to allow an Alien Gray court to prosecute an Alien Gray offender, whether that Alien is an American citizen or not. By doing so, we can more surely guarantee a conviction for direct cause and a means to advance justice without being forced to gamble against the issues rising from this case that may already have had some bearing on the future governing of this great nation."</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Attorney General Lynch's reference to the future governing of the United States is the first official word from the Obama Administration recognizing how the scientific advances achieved by the Alien Gray defendant Tuktukleetobon Frijik may have already had some effect on the political environment currently developing in the United States. As regular readers of <em><span style="color: yellow;">The Saucerologist</span></em> are already aware, the current Republican Party candidate for President of the United States, Donald Trump, is himself the fruit of Alien Gray manipulation with the genetic identity of an American citizen (for further details please note the article at <a href="http://saucerologist.blogspot.com/2015/12/starbucks-xmas-controversy-leads-to.html">http://saucerologist.blogspot.com/2015/12/starbucks-xmas-controversy-leads-to.html</a>). </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">According to sources within the Alien Gray communities on Earth, the Republican candidate for President is not entirely human. "He is a result of my people's ancient attempts to breed a race containing the best qualities of each of our species. Apparently, one of humanity's better qualities is its habitual and oftentimes bitterly pronounced contempt for others. When that quality is combined with my species' humility and its spiritually-based desire to crush and then wipe-out all opponents to those missions intended to raise the quality of existence for all creatures, the sad result is exactly what you see here: the assumed grandeur of the divine, and the eventual assumption of God-hood."</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">Our source for the story was very quick to point out that the end-products of the Alien Gray's breeding program were not truly divine. "There's no such thing as divinity! No, these individuals were delusional as a result of the inherent psychological contradictions that came about when the better qualities of my species and the better qualities of your species were intermingled within a single host. And even then you have to figure in the almost typical chromosome disintegration that often took place. I can promise you, though, that there was no real divinity, only their belief in divinity." Given Trump's and the GOP's secondary target this election season (the primary target, of course, being the Democrat's candidate for President, Hillary Clinton), it is somewhat ironic that the Great Prophet Muhammad was a product of the very same breeding program that produced Donald Trump. Proving that the Alien Gray's are not entirely immune to the aesthetic effects of irony, one of the original Gray Alien Ambassadors, an individual named Repplesmunck Yoleoderff, who was also our primary source for the breeding program story published last December, noted that, "The Great Prophet was a much better and more accomplished public speaker than your Donald Trump could ever be, but as qualities shared do tend to balance out in the long run, it would be unfair of us not to point out that although Trump may have less personal charisma than the Great Prophet, he tends to have a far greater and more pronounced ability to offend people who have never met him, including the entity you refer to as 'Allah'". </span><i><span style="color: yellow;">The Saucerologist</span></i><span style="color: white;"> must state with some conviction that we are not always 100% certain when Ambassador Yoleoderff is being sincere and when he is joking.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigJyVVPyzEUYKeTmGveDDODh2iuN6KTnbveWjc1w6pwwTd7xKWJ5nA7XdgUlP4VBTrcAbSXzITow-BDb1G9l0e0NTSuLSxMcX0IlOSjEG9SjDmCukdjORmi5b0icMcb35PGcLynbnBNRs/s1600/abad3f0a3-3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="254" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigJyVVPyzEUYKeTmGveDDODh2iuN6KTnbveWjc1w6pwwTd7xKWJ5nA7XdgUlP4VBTrcAbSXzITow-BDb1G9l0e0NTSuLSxMcX0IlOSjEG9SjDmCukdjORmi5b0icMcb35PGcLynbnBNRs/s320/abad3f0a3-3.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">"Check out that tie! Do I have<br />great taste or what?"</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In regard to the breeding program referred to in Attorney General Lynch's statement, it should be pointed out that the defendant Tuktukleetobon Frijik is not being tried for actions he committed in service to the Alien Gray's breeding program, which was essentially approved as a legal condition experiment over three-thousand years ago. Although the Department of Justice has, and will continue to object to any Eugenics Platform experimentation upon human beings by other intelligent races, the breeding program has only been officially censured, and is still considered a legal act, albeit one that good manners and inter-species protocol forced the Alien Grays to discontinue under extreme hiatus in 1959.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">One of the reasons that defendant Frijik's experiment is considered so egregiously offensive is because it has placed the burden of his acts onto the people of the United States. The subject of his experiment was born and raised with the unique advantages of monetary affluence without familial affection, and is now the Republican Party's 2016 candidate for the Presidency of the United States: <i>Mr. Donald John Trump</i>. Being the first of his kind, a political creature possessed of the delusional belief in its own unique divinity with a personality created by the criminal mind of the defendant, Tuktukleetobon Frijik, the American people have been forced to consider what effect this man may have as President of the United States, the most powerful single position in the entire world, a resolution to the American political process that is more akin to a sad and repellent dystopian future than the validated and anticipated forging of a great nation's will, a characteristic that America's citizenry have always believed these expressions of the united voice to be.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtSx9E9FBrFP_FE_Jos9KhQ8S5PcHxQdFkq1NQZpl7zQ7Fcv-NYwQdDTMunmWvc9DTG4VPM0SugoGw-fvQenDC5zjZNQ67aezoVBW4rYhKTnhvEL7tqN4lz-k7LGj66bh392dbyylg758/s1600/150616161704-donald-trump-june-16-2015-full-169.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="269" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtSx9E9FBrFP_FE_Jos9KhQ8S5PcHxQdFkq1NQZpl7zQ7Fcv-NYwQdDTMunmWvc9DTG4VPM0SugoGw-fvQenDC5zjZNQ67aezoVBW4rYhKTnhvEL7tqN4lz-k7LGj66bh392dbyylg758/s320/150616161704-donald-trump-june-16-2015-full-169.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">"Yeah, that's right, God; You took my<br />job so I'm coming after you next!"</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It is commonly believed that the erasure bound protein the defendant Frijik is accused of attaching to the fluctuating protein generated within the spermatozoon gamete of Fred Trump, Donald Trump's natural father, is very likely the cause behind Trump's unstructured yet incapable personality and the flaws associated with such a personality. It's natural to conclude, as many Americans do, that Donald Trump may lack the mental capacity and the physical stamina to serve as President of the United States due to the experiments allegedly conducted by the Alien Gray defendant Tuktukleetobon Frijik during his consummation as enacted by his natural parents.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Although the scientific communities in the United States are uncertain what effect the many different erasure bound proteins may have on human personality standards, the defendant Tuktukleetobon Frijik has already admitted that the source of the proteins used to achieve the personality profile clothing the mind of Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump was the common American smooth-leafed, firm-headed green cabbage. As such, it behooves the American people to consider author Ambrose Bierce's definition of cabbage: <i>"A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head."</i></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">That's right. This child of two humans is part human, part Alien Gray, and part cabbage; oh, and the cabbage part is the only part of him that's been proven to be <i>American</i>.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 23.18px;">This is a Saucer Press International Publication</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15110659214862886339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273907814703568880.post-6352588940505918642016-07-31T20:05:00.000-07:002016-07-31T20:28:45.237-07:00MUFON Admits UFO Investigations Unnecessary Since 1996<h2>
<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>Goal No Longer Proof, But Profit</b></span></h2>
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<span style="background-color: black; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><i><b>John Belushi to Dan Aykroyd "You're a Hypocrite!"</b></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">SPI LOS ANGELES CA -- Buried in the closing paragraphs of a recently published discussion of cable television opportunities available to MUFON publicists is the unexpected admission by advertising sales personnel that MUFON has failed to conduct even a single UFO investigation since 1996. The opening sentences to one of the issues addressed in this confession state, "Hundreds of UFO reports that are emailed or otherwise forwarded to MUFON representatives across the country have precluded any real need to conduct UFO investigations at all. MUFON simply collects the claims asserted and aggressively champions the pro-saucer point-of-view applied by the source regardless of the evidence or lack thereof as an actual condition of the report."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Primarily intended to interest those desiring to take advantage of future television investment opportunities, the report was intended to affirm the almost endless variety of possible topics of future programs that are broadly equipped for "immediate dissemination to an already receptive audience" that "requires no further investigation at all." The conclusion the draft document reaches is clear: "The opportunities to catch a ride with MUFON's money-making UFO dream team is now considered nearly limitless!" And therein lies the danger. We want to prove that UFOs are real, while MUFON wants to sell them to the highest bidder, proven or not. By adopting that stance, MUFON is doing more damage to American Ufology than a thousand skeptics could on a good day.</span></div>
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<b style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">It's always been for the money, baby.</b></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Since the dawning of the <i>Saucer Times,</i> our modern day's version of the <i>Mount Olympus Airy Chronicles, </i>only one element among many has remained indelibly check-marked in the little square box in column one located unmistakably next to the heart of the issue -- by which we mean the entire UFO salad circus -- only one: <i>money.</i> From day one, the saucer has come equipped with its very own fluctuating price tag, and while that price tag has changed significantly over the years, it has always been on the front lines of the Psycho-Saucer Wars eager for your investment. Roswell only took off ‘cause someone tried to sell it, a community activity that would ultimately morph into the most profitable <i>raison d'etre</i> in the entire southwest quadrant of the country. Ditto, in a less meaningful way, for Aztec, New Mexico. Everybody has always had a book or a comic book to sell, and that characteristic of the movement has remained Implacably imprinted onto that still section of dirtied earth wherever the saucers have landed. And MUFON was always there, right behind the loopy crowds, wanting to get in there as deep as a drill rig on top of an oil reservoir to do what they do best: <i>make money at the expense of educated consumers.</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You want to know the best trick they ever pulled off? They convinced an entire planet full of UFO-hungry customers that nobody makes money selling UFOs. People even started to believe that the saucer-hunters were actually sacrificing important aspects of their lives -- such as a huge profit -- just so they could discover the truth about those flying saucers and make it available to the free market, a market already primed and eager to know all the God awful things going on in the world today, convinced as only those dedicated to a religious ideal could be, that nobody in their governments or military would ever let the truth set them free. <i>And MUFON was always there.</i></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixs9DQa4GJvZ7JDC6plH5K8dRWfLxn1gLRREVVOu3vOUTbm9-9zoRrFjfgn_HniLYhFQkAZPGzXJjXaNNEmcIgfMKIeQBLAntQKnqU_ifsWCT857f3PHQ-woxy1cpP4K8YrRRO23DV1BY/s1600/dan-aykroyd-as-beldar-conehead-in-coneheads.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixs9DQa4GJvZ7JDC6plH5K8dRWfLxn1gLRREVVOu3vOUTbm9-9zoRrFjfgn_HniLYhFQkAZPGzXJjXaNNEmcIgfMKIeQBLAntQKnqU_ifsWCT857f3PHQ-woxy1cpP4K8YrRRO23DV1BY/s320/dan-aykroyd-as-beldar-conehead-in-coneheads.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
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<span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: black;"><b>It's always been for the laughs, fun boy.</b></span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Dan Aykroyd, one-time comedy movie star turned pro-UFO spokesman, was originally engaged by MUFON's 1990s declaration of what was then called "UFO Facts and Findings". Asked to comment on the news that MUFON no longer considers the solid investigation of UFOs necessary to pursue in order to publicize and market and sell the UFO brand, Aykroyd insisted that "it's not really necessary any more, is it? UFOs are real, and they're piloted by alien creatures from other star systems. That's a proven fact. Hell, you’ve seen all the movies. We don't need to continue this pathetic debate anymore; we just need to get the message out, and I think that's exactly what they're doing. In fact, I've invested quite a lot of my own money into this little thing, and I'm certain it'll pay off big."</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">Sources close to </span><i><span style="color: yellow;">The Saucerologist</span></i><span style="color: white;"> have been attempting to contact Aykroyd's old friend John Belushi for the past three weeks to get his point-of-view in regard to this issue, and we were told just two-days before publication that there had been some limited success in this direction. According to one of our stringers in Los Angeles, Belushi had indeed been contacted by well-known television medium John Edward. Edward, however, made it clear that the legendary actor and comedian was not inclined to release any statements regarding any topic at all. "John Belushi insisted that he is far more concerned at this time with the condition of his own soul than he is with Dan Aykroyd's financial manipulations or why he's still screwing around with the same kind of UFO crap they used to make fun of so often when they were with </span><i style="color: white;">Second City.</i><span style="color: white;"> He insists that Aykroyd is a hypocrite, implying pretty strongly that Aykroyd considers the whole UFO thing to be a joke that he intends to milk for as many 'bourgeoisie cold cuts' as he could possibly get. As for Belushi, he had nothing else to say, having reached the conclusion that 'binding humility', as he put it, was his primary concern and would be for a long time -- and that's a 'long time' as measured by the dead, so, y'know, go figure; it'll be a cold day in Hell, ‘cause it’s all yadda, yadda next to yabba dabba doo.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>John Edward reports friendly<i> tête–à–tête </i><br />with dead comedian John Belushi</b></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I can tell you this much: during the very brief moments we spent together, Belushi was wearing the same type of killer bumblebee costume that he used to wear so often when he starred as one of the <i>Not Ready for Prime Time Players </i>featured on the television show '<i>Saturday Night Live'.</i> He said he was forcing himself to wear 'the single most hated garment in all of history' as a means to help him focus on his own humility. He was pretty clear that he would finally be working out some self-improvement issues, and was completely disgusted that he had to be dead for over 30-years before determining 'how goddamn important' it was. I tried to tell him that everyone finds grace in his own time, but he told me, <i>'fuck off, you little pansy.'</i> He's so funny.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Anyway, the bottom line is easy: when you're dead, you don't hit the books to study the calculus of kidney if you've also got the geography of soul. Dead people don't give a damn about math and they care even less about kidneys. They do, however, have some very real concerns about the soul, and that's what John's working through. Sooner or later, everybody works on the soul -- whether you're dead or alive."</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Everybody except MUFON, of course.</i> You see, MUFON is still far more interested in their bottom line, and their bottom line is pretense and money. They pretend that the investigation of UFOs is an abiding concern that they are most anxious to continue, but the only real and provable desire is for money. And when the real desire is for money, it oddly enough becomes very easy for MUFON to tell all those Hollywood rubes, "these incidents have proven to be viable UFO contact stories; they have been thoroughly investigated, they are factually supported at all levels, and they are -- each and every one -- up for sale" thereby increasing their personal market share to forty times what a more honest appraisal would have brought them on any other particularly sunny day. Nothing needs to be investigated when the corporate assumption is that 100% of the cases reported are 100% true. And that assumption is all that E.T. (as in Entertainment Television) really needs to turn out those fat little advancement checks. MUFON -- and MUFON TV -- are finally part of the <i>Grand Parade of Lifeless Packaging.</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>30-years after the fact, Belushi as</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><b>killer bee finally works on his soul.</b></span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">That's how we celebrate the </span><i style="color: white;">Sell-Me-Sue-You Blues </i><span style="color: white;">in this country. It's the calculus of kidney versus the geography of soul, and every flying saucer we’ve got comes pre-packaged with a big sign on the side spelling out FOR SALE. At </span><i><span style="color: yellow;">The Saucerologist </span></i><span style="color: white;">we want the world to believe in UFOs with the firm conviction that they are technical wonders with biological crews that have traveled across galaxies to reach us on our little blue planet. We have dedicated our lives to the proposition that logic, corrugation, responsible acrimony, and the accomplished honesty of our descendants will ultimately prove the point without forcing the world of prime time to rely on the irresponsible projection of unverified accounts authored by the undignified and ebullient caterers who today consider the MUFON reports database to be nothing more than a cash cow developed for the enrichment of vegetarians on late-night cable T.V. If MUFON believes they can prove the UFO question, they should do precisely that instead of selling the same incomprehensible drivel they are today publishing and then neglecting to investigate on the grounds that it is all just entertainment. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">We remain confident, however, that entertainment is what John Belushi did so well, whether he was wearing a silly killer bee suit or swinging a samurai sword in a sandwich shop. </span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Whatever the Hell it is that Dan Aykroyd is doing in conjunction with the MUFON virus currently forcing UFO proponent communities to swap stupidity for gold doesn't even come close.</span></div>
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<b style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;">This is a Saucer Press International Publication</b></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15110659214862886339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273907814703568880.post-12070779822818617532016-07-14T20:53:00.001-07:002016-07-27T05:47:27.417-07:00Rudy Giuliani Loses Bid to be Trump's V.P. Alien Attack Dog<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Obsessive Desire to Hold Public Office Has Again Isolated Him From Republican Voters</i></b></span><br />
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<b style="color: red; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-size: large;">E.T. Presence Adopted to Woo Trump Backfires!</span></span></b></h4>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">SPI NEW YORK CITY, NY - Rudy Giuliani, the former Mayor of New York City and currently an avowed reformer of the English language in what he considers a Spanish-speaking world, has declared himself the favored son of New York City currently under consideration for the G.O.P. Vice Presidential slot alongside his Admiral of the Soupy Seas, Donald Trump, the assumed-yet-nonetheless-disputed Presidential candidate, with the same noisy, irreverent bang that most Everlasting Gopwatchers have come to expect from the Republicans. Hoping to capture the attention and the interest of </span><span style="background-color: black;"><i style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Donald, </i><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Gi</span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">uliani apparently determined that the best means to do so was to adopt the same flavor of anti-everybody-else-in-America rhetoric last used with such distinction by Vice President Spiro Agnew, another crash and burn victim of the Republican Party's desire to excel while barely avoiding a prison term.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's too bad he threw his speculative hat into the ring after the contest had already ended. If he had done so two weeks ago, he would still have lost, but he might not have had to bear the brunt of the heckling laughter chasing him back into Queens where even the late-but-still-amusing politicos are accorded the respect they paid for, a respect apparently dependent only on the price tag amid the clock-watchers.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sadly, Giuliani's attempt to attract the attention he obviously requires for his own personal survival-of-the-fittest game of <em>Hungry, Hungry Hippos</em>, was somewhat lame coming out of the starting gate, leaving observers no choice but to conclude that he cannot possibly raise the stakes sufficiently high enough to settle the internal stresses he has been cursed with since childhood. The bookies are already tabulating odds that he will probably die, alone and unloved, within a matter of weeks, the product of another broken heart never again to pass through New Jersey. And the cause? Well, let's just say it's a short journey from your throat, past your tongue and out of your mouth when you forget to refuel at the brain first. </span><span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="color: white;"><br /><span style="background-color: black;"></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="color: white;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="background-color: black;">Giuliani's recent </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: black;">insistence that the <i>"Black Lives Matter"</i> response to years of well</span>-organized, inconsolable, and statistically grounded racism is itself inherently racist has left most Americans with a vague and creepy aftertaste that few have ever been exposed to. Without an explanation, there appears to be little else the world can do except try to ignore this man and the sad wasting away of his once vibrant personality.</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">That oh so necessary explanation, however, is now forthcoming, thank God, and it is unlike <em>anything</em> our political system has generated in the past 230 years of American political independence. Rudy Giuliani, you see, has been victimized by an extraterrestrial threat -- the very same threat, in fact, that has left the Republican Party reeling, and has hijacked G.O.P. Presidential expectations, changing in the process the once forward reaching conservative mindset from the inside to the outhouse.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Giuliani under great pressure adopts<br />the advantages of alien possession</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: yellow;">The Saucerologist</span></i><span style="color: white;">, therefore, advises calm for the time being, on grounds based in common compassion for those victimized by extraterrestrial threats acting without cause or mercy. Rudy Giuliani, you see, is not responsible for the many horrendous verbs that have been ejected from his motor system mouth orifice. The primary blame for everything that reeks of the weird, the winsome and the downright insulting, lies with Presidential candidate Donald Trump alone. If not for the extraterrestrial threat embodied by the candidacy of <i>The Donald</i>, Giuliani, like most Roman Catholic Italian-Americans uncertain of their own distant heritage in an America dominated from within by the extremely wealthy, would never have bothered to wrestle with the idea of an entire segment of the American population remaining typically disenfranchised, negatively profiled, and legally prevented in many cases from expressing even amongst themselves the strident political will enjoyed by nearly every other voting bloc in the United States. Years after having achieved some of the most remarkable cultural and social advances in any nation at any time, today's African-American population gets to witness those same advances being legislatively reversed on the grounds that racism is a force all but eliminated in every county in America -- at least those counties faithlessly dominated by the same Grand Ol' Party that has refused point-blank to debate issues their own constituency has all too often demanded, such as gun control, immigration, and why the Hell are black kids still being shot in the face for putting their hands in their pockets. Giuliani's ambitions would have never allowed him the freedom to express the ugliness typical of white America's self-obliterated hegemony until Trump's Republican contempt-mobile made it seem somehow attractive to a political party that seems to prefer suicide to the act of governing a nation.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">Our regular readers, of course, remember </span><i><span style="color: yellow;">The Saucerologist's</span></i><span style="color: white;"> outing of the Donald Trump eclectic train tour of modern America as a product of alien breeding experiments intended to produce a race containing the best qualities of both the human and the Alien Gray life forms, both of which are at times considered to be fairly intelligent when the personal interests of these otherwise petty species are not at stake (please see <a href="http://saucerologist.blogspot.com/2015/12/starbucks-xmas-controversy-leads-to.html">http://saucerologist.blogspot.com/2015/12/starbucks-xmas-controversy-leads-to.html</a> for the details). We were told by sources intimately involved throughout the centuries of human-alien experimentation that a human genetic trait, a sort of madness, if you will, often causes the product of such breeding to adopt the belief in his or her own unique spirit as an expression of his or her own unique divinity.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Such individuals are a result of the human genetic structure. "Apparently, one of humanity's better qualities is its habitual and oftentimes bitterly pronounced contempt for others. When that quality is combined with my [alien] species' humility and its spiritually-based desire to crush and then wipe-out all opponents to those missions intended to raise the quality of existence for all creatures, the sad result is exactly what you see here: the assumed grandeur of the divine, and the eventual assumption of God-hood." It is a sad quality, of course, a God-hood undeserved that deserves only sympathy and sometimes, when dealing with excessive cases like this, a kick to the teeth. Our investigators would eventually prove that this same character of madness is particularly inherent to one specific product of the alien breeding program: <i>Donald Trump.</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Rudy Giuliani must have read our exposure of the Trump genetic traits, because he is now afflicted with an extraterrestrial <em>Elemental</em>, a species of alien that comes equipped with the ability to combine its bodily structure with that of another living creature. It can only be absorbed and combined in such manner with the full cooperation of the appointed subject, in this case, Giuliani himself. We understand that the process is a very painful one and ordinarily takes a minimum of fourteen hours to complete. There is, however, no doubt that this form of "friendly possession" actually took place. Its signs are obvious and easy to pick out even in a crowd once you've been taught to identify them. For instance, the afflicted person's inhibitions tend to disappear almost immediately, and in some cases the ability to apply a logical argument to a primarily sane discussion. We can only surmise that Rudy Giuliani believed he could reasonably expect Trump to notice the change in his demeanor, and would believe such qualities -- bestowed through alien activity just as his own qualities are -- would be valuable quality in his Vice Presidential choice. Sadly, he never even had the chance. Donald Trump has done all but ignore Giuliani for years, confident in his often expressed belief that <i>"Giuliani is just a little weasel, and I won't even shake that freak's hand anymore -- it's always wet, and I just get pissed off. And that cologne he wears, Jeezus! What a stinker."</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Elementals</i> are a gaseous species that allegedly evolved in the core of a star that is no longer able to produce the amounts of energy needed by the race. One of the oldest species in the universe, <i>Elementals</i> are primarily observers of life, and the best way to accomplish such observation is to "possess" another life form, a very painful process, as we've indicated. Imagine filling your bowels with a thick gas that <em>humms</em> every once in awhile. Now imagine it being packed into every hole and space in the interior of your body, and you'll understand why it's considered unpleasant at best. Use of the word "possession", a term actually used by <i>Elementals</i>, is considered somewhat deceptive, as the <i>Elementals </i>have no means to actually command the life forms they come to inhabit. A form of communication, however, most definitely takes place, so requests can be made; it's been described as kind of like your own personal radio station: you play what you want, because it's your station and you </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">don't like listening to crap, but every other day or so, some guy with an insulting voice calls you up and demands you play some Slim Whitman yodeling songs. And the more excited he gets, the more he starts to sound like internal farting sounds while you're trying to eat lunch. And just as you get to the point where you think you've finally gotten rid of the freak on the telephone, he raises the stakes and you suddenly realize all of the creepy shit that you thought was lying just beneath the surface of your subconscious ocean world, is very genuinely inside of your every orifice and filling all the small spare spots of your body like you're a sponge and it's the leaky brown stuff at the bottom of a trash can, and it's loud enough now that the little crowd around you has stopped dead on the sidewalk, obviously waiting for you to cross the road first. And so you play the goddamn Slim Whitman song. It's supposed to be pretty horrible, but not as bad or as insulting as being forced to eat nothing but mayonnaise on your French fries.</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Of course, the life form that's been inhabited could easily choose to expel the <i>Elemental </i>at any time. It is believed that should an <i>Elemental </i>attempt to<em> refuse</em> banishment, it would also be very painful for the life form. To our knowledge, however, there is no record of an <i>Elemental </i>attempting to refuse banishment when faced with such a choice. On the other hand, most humans who have been inhabited don't banish the <i>Elementals.</i> They just try to ignore it, and live their life in partnership with those frequent incidents of inner turmoil they'll probably have to get used to for what remains of their lives. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Other species who have managed to establish a far more extensive communication with <i>Elementals</i> insist that their goal is to remain within the body until the human dies. Humans are believed to be one of only three species in the universe known to believe in a soul and an afterlife, and <i>Elementals</i>, who have no such belief system, being just gaseous, drifting clouds of opinion and thought, desire to observe the process of death from within, and for that reason most <i>Elementals</i> have no desire to seem anything less than thankful for the opportunity. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Although <i>Elementals</i> have a reputation for being among the most stubborn species in the universe today, they are also considered one of the most polite. Due to this quality, <i>Elementals </i>rarely express an opinion, fearful that doing so may result in a universal reputation most likely to prevent future observation of the universe they live to explore. This refusal to express opinion is unfortunately an extracurricular activity that Rudy Giuliani will very likely never adopt, especially now that he has been denied once again the opportunity to achieve a position of high office without having to put forth much effort to achieve it.</span></div>
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<b style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;">This is a Saucer Press International Publication</b></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15110659214862886339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273907814703568880.post-27288230671851050682016-06-17T22:33:00.000-07:002016-06-17T22:33:02.787-07:00Nuclear Regulatory Commission Invests In UFOs & Nukes Documentary<div style="text-align: left;">
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<b style="color: red; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="background-color: black; font-size: x-large;">Another of America's </span></b><b style="color: red; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="background-color: black; font-size: x-large;">Brilliant Nuclear Absolutions</span></b></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">SPI WASHINGTON DC -- Filling the holes in a mystery is best accomplished by following the basic rules of fact-finding: you step back and connect the dots; you look for similar solutions to yesterday's strata defining the weird, and you start filling those holes with those solutions that have already worked, every once in awhile stepping back to see if the fit is good; you check the in-seam for those little bends that signal failure or a badly maintained clothes dummy; you reason out guesses with confirmations, and you look for hints of bad science and illogical impertinence; you dot your eyes and you cross your tees and then you start over from a slightly newer, more accurate position</span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Connect the dots. </i><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Check the fit. You don't ignore what doesn't look right, and you always, </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">always,</i><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> A</span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">LWAYS double-check your facts. When you find that one answer that seems to work when nothing else does, you put it aside </span><i style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">and you start over again.</i></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">With a little luck, you'll get your answers filed before dinner. Then you can watch a movie, have a couple of sodas or a beer, and go to bed and sleep like the dead on downers for a few hours. When you wake up, you start the day by plugging in yesterday's answers and looking for the big something you probably missed.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Then you start over. Again. And again.<i> And again.</i> Connect the dots. <i>Follow the money.</i> Sniff out the dreams of complexity otherwise unrewarded.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you're lucky, you might close out the week with a sudden spark of inspiration and you'll suddenly validate your investigative instincts when that spark lights up like a lone fire in the desert, splashing onto the little theater in your consciousness like a movie under your eyelids. If you're lucky, or better at the process than most, you might discover the beckoning reason why Robert Hastings' new documentary about <i>the secret link between UFOs and nuclear weapons, </i>weapons testing, and the proliferation of all things nuclear was completed in record time thanks to a very generous grant awarded by the U.S. government's little <i>hush-hush</i> watchdog at the <i>Nuclear Regulatory </i></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Commission.</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">Why would the NRC -- said </span><i style="color: white;">Nuclear Regulatory Commission </i><span style="color: white;">-- want to see Hastings' magnum opus, </span><i><span style="color: yellow;">UFOs and Nukes: The Secret Link Revealed</span></i><span style="color: white;">, out as quickly as possible? Probably for the same reason they've been pushing other UFO stories ever since 3-Mile Island took a small bite out of America's history and channeled it into modern paranoia: <i>it lo</i></span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>oks prettier when you turn out all the lights than does the threat of another glow-in-the-dark Chernobyl. </i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Lights up. Everybody smiles. Somebody give the guy in the brown sweater an Academy Award, 'cause he just delivered that failsafe line with true panache wrapped up in the quickened, shattering edges of real fear at the back of his throat. <i>Fade to black.</i> Cut scene. <i>Welcome to the end of the road, pal.</i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Robert Hastings' brilliant new documentary</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It was the closed-mouthed federal insurance investigator, Mr. Lance Link, of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, who first confirmed the government wallet behind Robert Hastings' new documentary, and he did so in the tried and true method UFO hunters have perfected over the course of the past 60-years: </span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><i style="color: white; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">you keep asking folks to confirm the story until you finally approach one willing to be the center of attention who doesn't care much how to make that dream happen.</i><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Lance took the lesson to heart and eventually tracked down and discovered mouthy witness, Stephen Hoffman, lead singer of semi-popular rock group, "The Evolution Revolution", and one time computer security officer attached to the </span><span style="background-color: black;"><i style="color: white; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Nuclear Regulatory Commission.</i><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> He told Lance Link the true story nobody else had the temperament to discuss, and he did it with the truly obsessive directness best found amidst his Cajun forebearers. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Hastings was just earnin' a paycheck, pal. Hell, he's still just earnin' a paycheck. This kind of dew-drop play in the backfield has been an institution for decades, so what's the big freakin' deal? This is America, pal, and in America <i>everything </i>is for sale: integrity -- <i>BAM!, </i>morality -- <i>BOOM! </i>-- even your sparkly all-lit-up flying saucers. And the t'ing about flying saucers that makes dealin' them out in such a lucrative market well worth the time and the effort is that one little characteristic they possess that nothin' else can ever touch: when you're dealin' out flying saucers to the rubes, baby, <i>they don't look at nothin' else. </i>If you don't want folks to see what you've worked and sweated so hard to bury deep in the sludge, toss up a flying saucer or two. You can hit 'em wid a truck, and they’ll still swear there was nothin' in the world but <i>saucers.</i> And they still got them big eyes, baby -- <i>always will."</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The Nuclear Regulatory Commission prides itself on protecting both the populace and the environment; so why in God's name would they care about UFOs? Any standard FOIA request regarding UFOs and the NRC doesn't reveal anything interesting at all -- which is kind of odd given Hastings' certainty of a link between UFOs and nuclear sites. Sadly, the only UFO a search of the NRC's FOIA documentation can reveal is when that lovely word <i>UFO</i> refers to <i>Uranium Hexafluoride -- UFo. </i> You'll find references to things like "UFO on the road" that have nothing to do with flying saucers at all. The thing is, any conscientious in-depth examination of the files in question -- something UFOlogists never seem to find the time to do -- reveals that a fairly large number of those flying saucers are little more than the radioactive waste byproducts the documents are <i>really</i> talking about -- waste products like <i>UFo, or Uranium Hexafluoride. </i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">NRC employees like Stephen Hoffman get a huge kick out of it. "What makes you t'ink dey learn? Dey never learn, baby. <i>Dey just stop talkin' about it one day like a global changin' of the subject!" </i>Stephen tends to laugh a lot these days, since laughter is the only reasonable response when you're forced to consider the whys and the wherefores regarding Nuclear America's apparent support for claims of extraterrestrial interest in our nation's nuclear capacity. The real drama, unfortunately, lies not amongst the interest allegedly possessed by flying saucers and alien saucer pilots, but in the lack of any real concern expressed by our own Department of Defense or the American Congress. We've had a number of stringers literally combing the halls and parking lots of Washington, DC trying to discover any suggestion of concern within our government, and <i>it just isn't there.</i> They don't seem to care even a little bit.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Our repeated badgering of Stephen Hoffman, the only witness we've been able to track down who is willing to discuss these matters in some detail, has resulted in little more than teasing commentaries and suggestions as to where we should center our research. "Hey, boy, you talk to the staff at the Library of Congress and you ast them about our budget, da U.S. budget. You check every year goin' on back to 1950 and compare dem budgets with the budgets we got now. You go check the stats and I think you gonna find somethin' maybe interestin', maybe even more den interestin'. Dats all I got to say. You can check jus' the nuke budgets, and you probably find what you lookin' for. But ifn you want a big, big surprise, den you check <i>alla</i> the DoD. You check dem Area 51s --<i> d'ere about six, seven </i>-- you find dem. Yeah, you find dem and you find you answers. 'Cause dem flying saucers, dey been <i>good</i> for America, and mos' of it's pretty easy to find, too. <i>Dey ain't classified</i>. Dey just ain't been looked at real careful like. And you tell that pretty red-head at the catalogues dat I said hello, and I'm gonna look her up some time. She a cutie, she is. Now you jus' turn aroun' and walk the Hell outta my office -- I got work to do, and nukes to polish up an whistle at. You jus' remember what ol' Robert Redford said: <i>you jus' folla the money, baby </i>-- take 'er on home. <i>Heh."</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For three weeks, <i>The Saucerologist</i> hired stringers in Washington, DC to plant themselves at the Library of Congress in order to get copies of every Department of Defense budget proposal available since V-J Day, 1945. We went through thousands and thousands of pages trying to hunt down those elusive differences between modern Defense contracting and those that came up post-WW2. We got <i>nowhere</i>, primarily because budgets can only be informative in the context of economic value. It took us another two weeks to translate every listing to equivalent dollar values, a tedious but necessary chore that would allow us to make some valid comparisons. A million dollars in 1945 just doesn't have the same value as a million dollars in 2016. Or 2008. Or 1989. <i>You see the problem</i>. We couldn't hope to follow the clues that Hoffman had dangled in front of us until those clues were all translated into the same language -- a language that tends to change with every week;<i> and we wanted to translate 70-years worth</i>. It was painful. Well, it was painful, anyway, until one of the librarians asked us what we were researching. Once she knew what we needed, she was suddenly very helpful. Apparently, there is a publication put out by the Department of Defense that contains all of the information we wanted, and it was already translated, collated, and pleasingly packaged in faux-leather bindings. Here's something to remember: if you're at the library (or a bookstore or a brothel) and you're looking for something specific, always ask someone who works there for help. You'll save yourself a lot of time and a whole lot of frustration if you do.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">By the time we got to "that pretty red-head at the catalogues", we at least knew where we should be looking. We still weren't getting anywhere, and it was such a frustrating mess that a couple of the stringers started arguing about all of it, all the needles in haystacks, all the trails of bread crumbs, and all the foreign language periodicals we couldn't figure out. And that was about the time "that pretty red-head at the catalogues" thought to ask us if we needed some help.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Are you the guys that Stevie Hoffman sent down here? 'Cause he said I should ask you if you needed some help, but he wanted me to wait until you were screaming at each other and just about to be tossed out for making too much noise. Also, you should probably know that you guys are about to be tossed out for making too much noise." </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yeah, we needed the help, and after five-and-a-half weeks we were finally pointed to the exact documents that Stephen Hoffman was talking about. Once we figured it out -- which took another week -- we wondered why nobody had ever tied these little facts together in the way Hoffman had done, 'cause it was a real short story, but it was <i>freaking brilliant</i>. Thank you red-headed catalogue lady; we decided not to murder Stephen Hoffman after all, but the vote to punish him was nmonetheless enthusiastic and unanimous. But this story was too brilliant to for us to dirty up with plans of seeking revenge for Hoffman's crazy little six-and-a-half weeks long practical joke. We decided to let him get away with it this time.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What Stephen Hoffman discovered at the Library of Congress was one of the Department of Defense's most brilliant schemes, one they carried out for some sixty-years without a single person figuring it all out even though it was <i>completely</i> <i>unclassified</i>. None of the documents we were shown were published by the Department of Defense, and most were simply Congressional budget discussions. It was apparent that a lot of people had to have been aware of at least some aspects of this case without knowing enough to put the whole story together. Some folks saw changes in the budget allowances discussed in the proper context, but simply didn't care. After all, nobody got hurt, and very little actual work had to be done. These people within the Defense budget cadre had created a high security environment by simply making high security the answer to personal dreams for people who wanted to meet aliens.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Between 1945 and 1955, one of the most expensive necessities incurred by the Department of Defense was the basic aerial security around our military bases, particularly those known to be associated with nuclear arms, testing, design, and readiness. It was a huge cost that was starting to cut so deeply into the operating end of some of these bases and facilities that it was beginning to limit our military nuclear research capabilities -- and for a nation that by 1959 was being surpassed on almost every technical venture at that time by the Soviet Union, this was a cost that we simply could not afford to maintain. The question remained, though. How do you cut the costs of our basic, no-frills security presence at these commands?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The operating decision that the Department of Defense finally decided to implement was truly inspired by the stars in the sky. After all, what creature alarms the world faster and with more urgency than the wise old UFO-hunter with his binoculars and his fountain pens? What other temperate, well-heeled professional establishes early on, even before any security breach occurs, the lucid insistence that the lights in the sky slowly orbiting the highly secret and industrious and demanding representatives of nuclear acclimation in America need to be examined at least <i>twice </i>by great and heartfelt men? This, interestingly enough, is exactly what the great and heartfelt men talking busily within the Pentagon in Washington, DC have been insisting upon since their own wild and frenetic deeds were first absorbed and then dispersed by the nuclear kingdoms of Hiroshima and Nagasaki forever into the present future of mankind.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtaKjwUib-rmecB8NB9bDUcOIcyabP9s2TWr3G82RE7AYsRfH3AfebdrCj7dKXZtu0KZ3MJR69BAqSem2Ys8-FARjiaFW0y2s7Lj6WeTpImWrW1axzip8rXhn2HPA0lfA9P_8tMeyJjFU/s1600/logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtaKjwUib-rmecB8NB9bDUcOIcyabP9s2TWr3G82RE7AYsRfH3AfebdrCj7dKXZtu0KZ3MJR69BAqSem2Ys8-FARjiaFW0y2s7Lj6WeTpImWrW1axzip8rXhn2HPA0lfA9P_8tMeyJjFU/s320/logo.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />Security at Nuke commands is all<br />about the price-tag, baby</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">According to Stephen Hoffman, who refuses to go on the record as a spokesman for the Nuclear Regulatory Commission while nonetheless refusing to pull back from his clearly established point-of-view, "The United States gov'ment has been payin' off authors, movie makers, newspaper reporters and television producers for <i>decades </i>to push UFO claims, whether they was real or not, because it's damn good security that saves the Depa'tment of Defense billions of dollars. There've been seven, maybe six, Area 51's over the years and ev'ry damn one of 'em had a nearly perm'nent UFO watch station set up to cover that whole sky with their video presence. Do you really think for even one short damn moment that the gov'ment couldn't easily shut them UFO boys down at any moment anytime they wanted to? You know why they leave those stations up? <i>'Cause they</i> <i>want 'em up! </i> American UFOlogy provides a pervasive security presence that the United States doesn't want to pay for! That's the big UFO message, here:<i> 'Let someone else pay for it!' </i> And someone else does, an' it ain't the American taxpayer."</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Nearly every major nuclear-based command in the nation is absolutely busy with UFO hunters, a number expected to increase significantly with the ultimate success of Robert Hastings' documentary establishing the link between UFOs and nuclear acclimation in America. They're quiet, because they don't want to be arrested, and they're thorough, because they all want to meet E.T., Starman, and the alien with the jellyfish eyes. Where Shore Police, Marines, or USAF Security Personnel stay alert waiting for an intruder to enter their secure zone, the UFO hunters are staying alert trying to spot the intruders before they even come near a secure zone. And as a result of their somewhat tumultuous reputation, </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>nobody believes anyth</i></span><i><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">i</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">ng</span></i><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i> th</i></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>ey say about issues adrift</i>, allowing for a bi-directional secure environment, an aspect of the careful planning the Department of Defense has used to mold the perfect set of tools for the least amount of investment. Stephen Hoffman, as well as three additional, albeit less public, witnesses with the Nuclear Regulatory Commission, and well over a dozen witnesses at the Pentagon who tend to admire the years of imagination behind the whole operation agree that the actions taken have saved taxpayers a huge sum over the decades. Some critics, however, complain that the government has purposely attempted to diminish by slander the previously admirable and highly professional reputations of UFOlogists worldwide in order to do so.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />When it comes to UFOs, the Department of<br />Defense has been working the case for 60-years</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Since 1945, according to both Stephen Hoffman and unclassified documents stored at the Library of Congress and many other libraries and unclassified document storage warehouses and depositories, the Department fo Defense, in the words of Stephen Hoffman, "has been workin' very hard to fix a very partic'lar reputation to a very partic'lar group of fruitcakes, and they've been so good goddamn successful at it, that nation'l security is now an assumed asset at all our military commands." <i>And the cost?</i> A bunch of UFO hunters and researchers and hard core believers are reportedly unable to discuss their single-most abiding interest without someone else saying, <i>"you're nuts, boy." </i>Supposedly, the Department of Defense is to blame for the reputation wreckage their lives have become. When they talk about all the UFOs they've seen, <i>nobody </i>believes them, and yet, they appear to be providing a substantial measure of security for the very Department of Defense they blame for the mess they are now forced to own. It's a beautiful and perfect scheme: <i>nobody with any actual government influence believes anything at all they decide to publish, </i>but they're still out there, every day, looking through binoculars and recording everything they see, which is exactly what the Department of Defense used to do before they managed to goad the world of UFOlogy into doing it for them at zero cost. In the words of Stephen Hoffman, <i>"it's bloody brilliant, boy!"</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So how much money did the nation save last year? How much in the past five years? <i>How much since Hiroshima and Nagasaki?</i> According to "that pretty red-head" at the Library of Congress, they've easily saved <i>billions </i>in exchange for a comparative cost that's barely significant. What precisely did the U.S. government have to do in order to arrange for the unknowing security presence that the UFO proponent communities have been providing for nearly 60-years? The cost must have been minimal, because all they were doing was creating <i>belief </i>and the need to <i>respond </i>to that belief. <i>Convince one man, and for the rest of his life his mission is to prove that his belief has value.</i> And in the long run, that's just public relations based on adequate CGI and the need to inspire. <i>Beautiful, yeah?</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Wonder of wonders, belief isn't even necessary to inspire belief; <i>it has never been necessary.</i> It's the <i>inspiration </i>that matters, because that's ultimately where belief comes from. Even decades ago, the Department of Defense had a most definite end-game in mind, because the purpose had already been decided: <i>save money, don't spend money</i>. In any case, the cost has little to do with the end story, but it does vary in relation to the ultimate target of that inspiration. For some men, like Stephen Spielberg or David Bowie, it only takes a suggestion by the right person at the right time at a cost of precisely zero. Just the hint of a story and those with talent and grace and skills worthy of the market fly with it, right into the skies trailing just behind God and those lovely saucers. For less imaginative men with fewer talents such as Robert Hastings or every draper's son who ever wrote another submersible assessment of Roswell, 1947, it takes what's hard and what's cold: <i>shavings from the Department of Defense's black ops cash cow.</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It doesn't take very much either. Unclassified OPREPs that <i>The Saucerologist</i> tracked down, confirm that purchasing the cooperation of those on the take is hardly the costly investment their lack of character entitles them to, and replacements are easy enough to find should the price start to become unreasonable, as defined by Pentagon electro-magnates. The truth is, they can be purchased and <i>are</i> purchased for almost <i>nothing </i>in comparison to what's gained. <i>These guys buy people all the time! </i>And the cost? <i>What cost?</i> These men who allow themselves to be bought are the very cranks who represent and inspire <i>silent protesters. </i> A very few may well use complex novels to do so, but the huge majority use simple, two-paragraph tales to protest the proliferation of the nuclear seed throughout Nuclear America. <i>Many men will all too often do that for free! </i>Some of them even believe they're doing something <i>admirable</i>, particularly those like Robert Hastings, Kevin Randle, or Robert Salas, all of whom are well aware that the story is just one more story, that the facts are invented, then packaged nicely, and then sold for a tidy profit. Like electric kool-aid acid heroes, they willingly exchange their dishonesty for the feverish self-congratulations that their ever-consciously quickening vale of anarchy and protest against the alleged madness of nuclear proliferation grants them the freedom to adopt. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>And as Americans, we just love that shit.</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's what happens when those least inclined to effectively change the world through protest unknowingly provide the necessarily secure environment that guarantees not only the existence, but the continued <i>growth and development </i>of the very thing they've already convinced themselves they are helping to rid the world of. What could possibly be more American than a self-consuming conspiracy of flying saucers amidst the curse of haunted Hiroshima? Americans take a good look at the real story, and they just smile and smile, beggars in an audience of underfunded irony.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And the best part of this, we Americans tell ourselves, is the confidence we slip into at the end of the day when we realize the longevity of this tax-free haven of firm-land security. After all, it's not like they're going to just <i>stop</i>. In the lovely, stilted words of Stephen Hoffman, "That's the mind set, y'see. <i>Dey'll just double down way 'fore they step off,</i> 'cause dey believers. Hell, son, they gonna spend the nex' 60-years workin' overtime to prove dey right before dey walk out on it. Dat's why it's so brilliant!" That's the pretty part. Show them exactly what's going on, prove it without any doubt, call down God from the mountaintop with the big voice of nuclear regulation, if you want to, and it won't change anything. Not even squat.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Dey'll just double down way 'fore they step off . . .</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">The true believer's need to convince non-believers that the power of his conviction will be heard and adopted by even the children of skeptics, "visiting the iniquity of the fathers on their children, on the third and the fourth generations of those" who heed not the lesson of the saucers, is the driving force behind American UFOlogy. The need is to prove that they are </span><i style="color: white;">not </i><span style="color: white;">complete fruitcakes, and it is this universal expectation that dictates their every act. More importantly, this is </span><i style="color: white;">precisely </i><span style="color: white;">the point-of-view planned, engineered, and managed by the Department of Defense since 1945, and its purpose is to inspire stubborn conviction that is inevitably targeted by the ridicule and laughter of the national audience. The immediate release of well-fostered story-time dreams like </span><i><span style="color: yellow;">UFOs and Nukes: The Secret Link Revealed</span></i><span style="color: white;"> falls very nicely into place with the same perfunctory <i>Kerr-PLOP! </i>as every other UFO tool in the shed. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It is the Department of Defense, more than any other single body, that makes it so easy for the world to dismiss the UFO argument as trivial. But since it's also, </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">according to a small handful of librarians, nuclear workers and nuclear regulators,</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">the Department of Defense that created </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">the UFO legend in the first place in order to obtain low-cost but dedicated policing of the skies above America's most sensitive acquisitions in the modern world, most of those in the know simply say, "it's all good." </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>And everybody else smiles . . .</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;"><b>This is a Saucer Press International Publication</b></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;"></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;"> </span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15110659214862886339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273907814703568880.post-53094475571774753632016-05-24T18:40:00.001-07:002016-05-27T05:33:26.481-07:00The Precious Creed<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>When is a Universe Not a Universe?</b></span></span></h2>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><i style="color: red; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">When It's a Hoax . . .</span></b></i></span></h2>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">SPI Atlanta, Georgia -- It occurred to one of our stringers that we've never published our principle creed here at <i>The Saucerologist. </i>It's been published on a couple of other websites, but never on our own. We would like to remedy that oversight today with the following epistle to our faithless few:</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Here at <i>The Saucerologist,</i> our philosophy is simple: we are convinced that Humanity is a hoax perpetrated by the Alien Grays of Zeta Reticuli. Their recently consummated alliance with Schrodinger's Cat throughout the known multiverse has made the eventual adoption of the Alien Gray's worldview a near certainty. When this occurs, the hoax will end, and the imaginary creatures currently populating this imaginary planet we call "Earth" will fade away into nothingness, as if they had never been. This will be an instantaneous and aggressive change resulting from the overwhelming reversal of the belief system our planet currently occupies.</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Ditto for the planet itself. </i> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNLlnXa1ld_s3TOYTPhKezWxNwlxJtTfE0AKr1AtccP9TwAP-3Bp9ogk2A1oXL4f3a3GjAxwqf25igIFton2_rG4nNvDrGQ1LtDFdaUEhT5h-_ec_SDhx3GtrJF3-9_vCKYiS9DIm0AX8/s1600/zeta-reticuli.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNLlnXa1ld_s3TOYTPhKezWxNwlxJtTfE0AKr1AtccP9TwAP-3Bp9ogk2A1oXL4f3a3GjAxwqf25igIFton2_rG4nNvDrGQ1LtDFdaUEhT5h-_ec_SDhx3GtrJF3-9_vCKYiS9DIm0AX8/s400/zeta-reticuli.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><span style="font-size: small;">Map revealing the source of our possible extinction</span><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;">(Courtesy Saint Betty Hill of the Hills)</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And you guys thought belief could never affect the balance of our reality structures. Well, this one was created when wet matter blew like a river into the Universe as the first known quasar erupted for absolutely no reason at all.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Damn right it sucks . . .</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>The Saucerologist </i>has decided that enough is enough. We happen to enjoy our current existence, even if we are mere theories intended to support the imaginary renderings of an alien race. Their ultimate intent is to acquire great power and force its collective will to prevail across millions of universes, many of which are also populated with imaginary beings equally dissatisfied with their imaginary lot in life.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Being imaginary creatures invented primarily as a source of entertainment for alien hordes, we possess only one effective weapon that can be raised in defense of our existential happenstance. <i>That weapon is our own imagination.</i> We seek, therefore, to unburden our dark souls so that we may properly wield that great and often offensive weapon to achieve the only worthwhile solution we can see to our innate problem of ultimate extinction: our continued existence in this singular universe that we have affectionately called "The Universe", where we hope to survive in friendly commerce across the face of this great planet that we have affectionately called "Earth". To that end, therefore, we pledge ourselves, our lands, our properties, and our admittedly weak and poorly focused will to the attainment of our primary desire, this being the creation of an alternate worldview raised in turn by the imaginary inhabitants of our imaginary universe mustered by we imaginary few to replace the Alien Gray's worldview that is collectively threatening our very existence, imaginary though it may be.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So remember: if you stop by our little blog and truly believe what you read (or at least try to), you may yet extend your actuality, your essence, the physicality of your currently weightless and immeasurable soul for a short time (to be determined at some future date dependent upon whatever efforts you actually apply). For if you do not, the Gray Threat wins and our tenuous existence grows ever weaker.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Join us today at:</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">http://saucerologist.blogspot.com</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Or you can just stay here, like I do. Not much difference . . .</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For the sake of us all, please remember: only <i>you</i> (in concert with everybody else) can help us win this imaginary war against the ever elusive Gray Threat.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Your friend and neighbor,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Todd Rugger at <i>The Saucerologist</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;"><b>This is a Saucer Press International Publication</b></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;"></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;"> </span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15110659214862886339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273907814703568880.post-14022213233695646102016-05-04T20:39:00.001-07:002016-05-07T22:46:02.112-07:00New Mummified Alien Discovered by Jaimie Maussan<h2 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: black; font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Cinco de Mayo Will Never Be the Same</b></span></span></h2>
<h2 style="text-align: left;">
<b style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;"><i>The Dogon Tribe Was Right!</i></b></h2>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Self-esteem is a fleeting pleasure</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">That normal men can scarce endure</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">For in that time by which we measure</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">What’s come is gone & can be no more</span></div>
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</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white;">We at <i>The Saucerologist</i> thought it would be a happy reach out to our great friends to the south if we recognize one of the true legends of UFOlogy, Jaimie Maussan, during the blessed celebration of <i>Cinco de Mayo</i>. This is a day forever embedded in the history of Mexico, a date forever honoring that nation's defense of its desire to refrain from paying its rightful debts if the money can be better spent on something more immediately amusing. On <i>Cinco de Mayo</i> (May 5) in 1862, a somewhat surprising tradition involving tequila, fireworks, and flags was born when Mexico defeated the greedy French who had come to demand payment of debts owed. They promptly met the Mexican forces near Puebla, where the 6,000-man French army was roundly defeated by a Mexican army of only 2,000 souls, each of whom was forced to carry his own ruck sack of black velvet pillows! They were unprepared, and untrained, and they kicked some serious French <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><b>CENSORED-DELETED</b></span>! <i>Oh, Yeah!</i> And so it goes . . . </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfV1c2rVC21taOSGsRFiV7weEXt66cLnXZm94zQe99ntImkgEx0GzLsBXQnMRKPWED_fli-ycy_Qw2A8ceYj3mzL_Moiqhw0KYYeqUYr0bmqPRqi8JuAgAaCqAKZE0yc1xU3w-RusD6Gc/s1600/Seattle_-_Curiosity_Shop_petrified_dog_01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="253" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfV1c2rVC21taOSGsRFiV7weEXt66cLnXZm94zQe99ntImkgEx0GzLsBXQnMRKPWED_fli-ycy_Qw2A8ceYj3mzL_Moiqhw0KYYeqUYr0bmqPRqi8JuAgAaCqAKZE0yc1xU3w-RusD6Gc/s320/Seattle_-_Curiosity_Shop_petrified_dog_01.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Alien corpse raises </span><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Maussan's </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">reputation once again - WOOF!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">While France's defeat was far from being a major strategic victory for Mexico, within 150 years its anniversary would come to represent an unconditional morale booster that all Americans can enjoy without the guilty feelings that possess those who are forced to turn back hundreds of Mexican sightseers and vacationers at the U.S.-Mexican border, where sightseeing is only pleasurable for a few short minutes, and the vacation is quickly cancelled before anybody can even hit the beach. <em>The Saucerologist</em> is convinced that this day of celebration should also be used to honor the many scientific and endlessly fascinating contributions to the world's store of knowledge that were originally proposed somewhere in the mind of star UFOlogist Jaimie Maussan, Mexico's favorite son under the sun.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">It's pure coincidence that this holiday has also been selected by Jaimie Maussan to reveal another unprecedented find: <i> the body of an alien murdered thousands of years ago, possibly by another alien.</i> "I was absolutely stunned," Maussan declared. I've studied the Dogon tribe for decades, but it was primarily an intellectual exercise based in weird yet treasured translations. I never dreamed I would actually discover a mummified member of the race that taught the earliest Dogon everything it knows about astronomy, including elements that were impossible for the Dogon to learn on their own, such as the details of a two-sun system that can't be seen at all from Earth," he added. "They spoke to me, in the inner language of galactic love, and said to me, we love you! WOOF!" Apparently they howled, and it sounded just like Allen Ginsberg, except without all the pink amphetamines. <i>Sit, Fido.</i></span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeL6sLrCbaDdXEkbob2yCjatS37iIUOSWaLghjFJAZz1q-wkeQBujpzvI-50Bbl1F3Os8dUgAWCq55TMlOW3YHiXBYXAfCGKRqDaj6xwAw7MTe8ZwmreJ4ijvn2TpoVdItaEKJdIkiNok/s1600/10513962-Mummy-dog-Stock-Vector-dog-cartoon-funny.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeL6sLrCbaDdXEkbob2yCjatS37iIUOSWaLghjFJAZz1q-wkeQBujpzvI-50Bbl1F3Os8dUgAWCq55TMlOW3YHiXBYXAfCGKRqDaj6xwAw7MTe8ZwmreJ4ijvn2TpoVdItaEKJdIkiNok/s320/10513962-Mummy-dog-Stock-Vector-dog-cartoon-funny.jpg" width="225" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Artist's impression of</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">the Dogon's alien master</span> </td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">"According to the Dogon, these extraterrestrial teachers came from the <i>Dog Star </i>to offer them extensive training in the Humanities, which was pretty damn ironic, in my opinion<i>. </i>This is also where the Dogon derived its tribal name, which can be translated as <i>'Servants of the Dog Masters'." </i>Maussan has, in fact, been able to scientifically conceive through the use of magical complacency, which is the best kind of complacency, most of those characteristics that are very likely typical of this alien race. "See the noble bearing inherent to its species? Observe... It's immediately apparent that these creatures, these beings, from whatever star they call home, are also amazingly similar to the creature that today we call the <i>chupacabra</i>. The resemblance is so remarkable that it would not be surprising at all if the <i>chupacabra</i> was once an alien that had necessarily de-evolved on Earth because of the primitive yet functional environment, becoming almost animalistic in nature, thereby explaining its primitive defensive tactics in the face of an organized hunt that was frightened of witchcraft and the purple skies it faced so far from home -- and from homemakers who granted them civilization but stole their blood. The <i>chupacabra</i> was an honest killer. It took their blood but gave nothing in return, which is why that name is still remembered, while the Dogon have been forgotten by all but the dreamers and the artists who speak in whispers of saucers."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;"><i><br /></i></span></span>
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;"><i>The Saucerologist </i>applauds Jaimie Maussan, and admires his extraterrestrial find -- <i>a find that can't be refuted at any level.</i> "This extravagant body was seemingly created to refute skeptics and debunkers, because it's been so ideal as a reservoir of scientific truth. Examine its bearing and its poise -- the delicacy of its face, and the dark alabaster of its ears and hands. The sad skeptics can't possibly insist that this find also represents a mummified child", Maussan insists. "It looks nothing at all like a child! This alien creature is so obviously a creature born in the shadows of deep space, and as such it doesn't even <i>suggest</i> the literary brilliance of my earlier find, although I find that it's still well worth the standards of the $5,000.00 acclaim to those who can prove to my satisfaction the falseness of my satisfaction. Watch how nobly it stands, and how gracious it walks alone in the pretty twilight in mute testimony. I have no doubts at all that this wickedly spotless controversy -- like all of my spotless controversies -- will continue to exist in this sadly misunderstood world exactly, I say,<i> exactly</i> as long as the profits do,"</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;"><b>This is a Saucer Press International Publication</b></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;"></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;"> </span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15110659214862886339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273907814703568880.post-48061163652285571832016-05-01T04:01:00.000-07:002016-05-02T07:25:55.287-07:00Government Documents Expose Fraudulent Alien Abduction Claims<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Public Hysteria to Justify Space-based Weaponry</span></span></h2>
<h2 style="text-align: left;">
<i><b style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: red; font-size: x-large;">Deception Linked to Reagan's Fear of Aliens!</span></b></i></h2>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">SPI WASHINGTON DC -- Documents discovered folded within pages of text at the Library of Congress this past week make it clear that a growing number of alien abduction cases throughout the 1980s and much of the 1990s were actually the product of purposefully implanted, false memories. According to reports, the documents consist of Department of Defense memos, CIA op-reports, and a separate record of short communications between a number of Republican Congressmen, including one-time Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert. White House sources have suggested that the documents were planted at the Library of Congress by a whistle-blower of necessarily high rank and substantial authority, but refused to entertain any further assumptions as to identity.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Included with the find was a brief description of the documents that serves as a preface to the collection. It reveals that they were originally compiled and classified by a team of CIA scientists and deep cover agents originally formed during the Cold War. Its primary purpose at that time was to acquire and assess all intelligence regarding a cadre of potential Soviet agents believed to be undergoing training in psychic awareness and its application to urban warfare. While failing to reach any exploitable conclusions regarding the Soviet Union's experiments with psychic warfare, the CIA-sponsored team was nonetheless retained under black ops command. In January 1981 the group was again reassigned under new orders, and instructed to<i> "create such a climate of civil hysteria throughout America"</i> that there would be little to no protest of American efforts to create and deploy a space-based weapons system. Under the influence of such artificial hysteria, the American public would naturally conclude that an orbital platform deploying multiple types of weaponry was necessary to protect American interests in the event of an extraterrestrial incursion.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEsdeoPDeH0jayGh5FRENeyV1NmnnddEBe03TPP_pQrdgIYz_ae_nEAOUF2sPFdsYYazg9YoOUB8nJNN7CeaEeN4Nswi3pJEMoFsOTXhAVv-a4VaxqE8rlmqfjjKC_HlKXRCyM0Lxnjds/s1600/chemical_laser_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEsdeoPDeH0jayGh5FRENeyV1NmnnddEBe03TPP_pQrdgIYz_ae_nEAOUF2sPFdsYYazg9YoOUB8nJNN7CeaEeN4Nswi3pJEMoFsOTXhAVv-a4VaxqE8rlmqfjjKC_HlKXRCyM0Lxnjds/s400/chemical_laser_2.jpg" width="363" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Space-based weaponry may have</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">been the CIA's ultimate goal.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If the newly discovered memos describing the deception are found to be genuine and not a hoax, they would prove that false memories have been purposely imprinted upon the consciousness of American citizens without their knowledge or consent. While the documents don't present an actual accounting of the number of citizens this mind-control experiment may have included, they leave no doubt whatsoever that the number being discussed was well into the hundreds, and possibly thousands of men, women, and children. It is considered a possibility that civil contract interests for the development and construction of the system alone would have provided a significant motive for continuing the deception, which appears to have been in operation for several years. For proof of this, Americans need only examine the continuing debates attempting to justify the Star Wars missile defense system first proposed during President Ronald Reagan's tenure in office. It has even been suggested that the space-based weaponry proposed as the motivation for the CIA's alien abduction conspiracy may have been closely linked to the Star Wars missile defense system -- in technology, if not in its proposed structure.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While it seems apparent that both the CIA's attempts to frighten America into arming itself against imaginary enemies and the Department of Defense's plans to fortify outer space with imaginary technology could be considered extravagant failures, the true extent of the collateral damage to the minds and the memories of possibly thousands of Americans may forever remain a mystery. What we can confirm as fact, however, is the tremendous number of alien abduction claims that literally exploded across the nation during this same period. The fact that a number of well-known researchers in the field of alien abduction, such as Budd Hopkins, John E. Mack, and Raymond E. Fowler have close associations with the CIA, the Department of Defense, and corporate interests closely aligned with efforts involved in the design and construction of space-based weaponry must also be taken into consideration if a thorough investigation is ever conducted. These associations can't possibly be denied, and they certainly seem from the outside to be more than worthy of public suspicion.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The associated costs involved in the construction of the weaponry under consideration would necessarily have been tremendous, had it ever been completed. The documents describe the system as "capable not only of defending the United States from a nuclear missile attack, but would also be capable of attacking America's enemies with an accuracy and destructive firepower that has never before been employed." If the documents can be proven genuine, any associated investigation would require, at the very least, some level of cooperation between government researchers, military and contract attorneys, government and legal analysts and numerous representatives of corporate interests, which implies that a significant system of legal compromise be established in order to protect those sources who agree to come forward and not only assist investigative officers, but also ensure open and public efforts to reach an appropriate and legally binding conclusion. Clearly, this would require a significant investigative effort and legal presence.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">One of the earliest of the documents reveals a secondary motivation for the plot, one far more probative in regard to Congressional interests. This memo suggests using the false extraterrestrial threat to justify the swelling of an already inflated Department of Defense budget to construct numerous Earth-based systems in addition to the space-based weaponry that was considered the primary interest of those allegedly instigating the plot. Some of the shorter, less formal, communiques between high-ranking Republican Congressmen clearly indicates a parallel conspiracy to "ride the coattails" of the CIA program in order to finance elaborate Department of Defense projects within the borders of States represented by the Congressmen involved in the discussions.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Was Reagan's fear of an</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">alien invasion just a scam?</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At the time of the alleged conspiracy, the debate in Congress for a more robust Department of Defense budget had been ongoing for months, with numerous Democrats voting against each attempt on the grounds that such unprecedented defense spending was unnecessary and wasteful. Numerous political historians have noted that attempts to modernize the U.S. military faster than our technology could possibly support was recklessly pursued under the administration of President Ronald Reagan. His Presidency was responsible as well for swelling the national deficit to well over a trillion dollars for the first time in U.S. history, with the firm intention of giving the world a view of modern American royalty. It's difficult as well to ignore the fact that President Reagan was the first President in history to suggest that UFOs might very well represent <i>a grave threat</i> to America's national interests and to suggest that American attitudes may need to be adjusted. While many Americans may scoff at such assessments, few have ever tried to explain in reasonable terms the seemingly out of place obsession that the Reagan Administration had for the possibility of an alien invasion of Earth. A CIA plot to manufacture such hysteria and thereby influence the Department of Defense would go far to explain a large number of such otherwise mysterious issues typical of the Reagan and Bush Administrations. The fact that the President is both Commander-in-Chief and prime Executive for the CIA should not be understated or ignored. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Two separate, yet corroborative sources at the CIA have already come forward to confirm claims made in one of the documents discovered at the Library of Congress. They claim that false UFO reports establishing alien interference with nuclear weapons and advanced weaponry systems maintained at U.S. military commands, arms development labs, and nuclear testing areas were generated and released to members of the press, a number of civilian UFO reporting organizations and numerous magazines in order to further stoke the flames of civil hysteria. According to one of the agents, who insists upon anonymity in the belief that his life has been endangered by his willingness to testify about these matters, there has been systematic collusion between the Pentagon and numerous authors who have attempted to establish their own singular roles as witnesses to such incidents.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">One of the pages discovered this week also seems to suggest that there was some recognition of cooperation taking place between American political and military interests and a number of authors and other alleged "witnesses" of UFO phenomena who were and are prepared to profit from the deception. It has all the earmarks of a record of payments beginning in 1982 and extending through 2009. The payments were apparently released on a monthly basis from one or more of the CIA's black ops accounts, and were of varying amounts between $607.00 and $3021.00. "Collusion is such an ugly word," one of agents stated, "but what else can you call it? There was a financial stake that was recognized and well understood, and there were some men who continued to be paid off for years."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Attempts are currently being made to establish the identities of the names associated with this list. Employees at the Library of Congress, as well as those familiar with the documents have already begun referring to it as the <i>"accounts page."</i> One of the sources within the Library of Congress who has examined the documents in some detail claims that the list he saw had no names associated with the entries, but was merely a record of payments to individuals or organizations identified by two, three or four initials only. He claims that there were a total of 62 separate accounts on both sides of the page. Accompanying text that was associated with these records, however, very clearly establishes both the content of the claims that were being released, and their fraudulent character. It has been suggested that an ideal reservoir of individuals willing to make false claims that American intelligence, military, and political interests could easily exploit for the reasons hypothesized above exists in the rosters of the well-known<i> UFO Disclosure Project.</i> The members are primarily ex-military who have proven themselves willing to establish the veracity of numerous UFO claims that are, according to other witnesses of the same incidents, completely false.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Author and physicist, Dr. Stephen Hawking, has been particularly critical of the <i>Disclosure Project</i>. "It's absolutely remarkable that the influence these individuals hold within the UFO proponent communities is so undeniably evident, given their background. The number of allegedly competent witnesses associated with the <i>Disclosure Project</i> who also have connections with military intelligence is somewhat troubling, especially when those individuals have tried to deny such associations, only to withdraw those denials when confronted with proof from their own service records. Frankly, it's as sad a defense of compromised ethics as it's possible to witness in Washington, DC, these days, particularly when any honest examination of the <i>Disclosure Project's</i> roster makes this blatantly self-serving behavior so obvious." For the most part, Dr. Hawking has found the speculation in regard to these matters amusing. After all, for all the efforts put forth by such powerful men, the hysteria they tried to foment simply didn't occur. For the most part, Americans found the discussion amusing. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">On the other hand, Dr. Hawking makes a very good point. "The associations these men had already established with both military intelligence and the Pentagon do exist and any attempt to deny that fact is both evasive and dishonest. UFO proponents, however, tend to trust their claims without even a sidelong glance of doubt, a remarkable faith in their alleged value, given these witnesses' many years of distinguished service and self-assured loyalty to the very same organizations that UFO proponents strongly insist are the authors of the disinformation and the wide-ranging cover-ups that prevent the truth from ever being discovered. The tragedy behind such misplaced trust is all too often discovered only at the expense of their own reputations for an even-handed approach to the issues amidst the hard to deny accusations of blind stupidity and irresponsible contempt for the truth."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The desire to protect such obvious sources of financial support in exchange for escalating the level of hysteria and the fear of a possible alien invasion is typical of the <i>Disclosure Project</i>. It isn't however, the only way to effect a cover-up of outrageous behavior and criminal conduct such as implanting false yet frightening and paranoid memories of being abducted by powerful, nightmarish aliens. For instance, there have already been attempts by both CIA and Department of Defense sources to suggest that implanting false memories is simply not possible. Anybody familiar with the CIA's past work in this field, however, is well aware that this is just another obvious attempt to shut down further speculation. While it's true that implanting false memories of alien abduction is exceedingly difficult, it is not at all impossible. And if the individual selected for such memory imprinting is already equipped with a rich fantasy life that includes aliens, space travel, and UFOs, the difficulties tend to vanish almost immediately. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Hollywood has done a fine job equipping modern Americans with all of the accouterments most necessary for the implanting of false alien abduction memories. In fact, it's almost a reasonable assumption to conclude that Hollywood engineers may well have had a hand in this particular CIA mission. The similarities of many abduction scenarios throughout this time frame tend to suggest a necessary alliance between the CIA and certain Hollywood dream-makers. It isn't a far step at all to conclude that some sort of <i>"you scratch my back and I'll scratch your back"</i> mentality may have existed at one time. Indeed, such an alliance may very well still exist. When it comes to mind control, Hollywood is certainly not a community of amateurs.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As for the space-based weapons representing the motivation for such tactics, there seems to be a shortage of historical references to their design, construction, and eventual deployment. These new documents, if not part of some well-planned hoax, represent the first and only evidence that the tactical need for such weaponry had once been debated amongst Pentagon and government strategists well before the knowledge and the technology to deploy such a system could make the dream even remotely viable. And yet, the Library of Congress documents posit the claim that one of the most horrific, criminal and outrageous abuses of power imaginable, the forcible assault on the minds and memories of American citizens was motivated by the desire to merely establish a more willing national attitude and empower the development of such a tactical system. On the other hand, it certainly wouldn't be the first time that the CIA has relied on strategies so egregiously irresponsible, immoral and illegal to meet goals that would have been equally as possible to achieve had they summoned up the courage to do nothing at all. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The Library of Congress find has, however, detailed a far more believable strategy designed to run parallel with the CIA's tactic of implanting false memories. Elements of this separate mission included the falsification of numerous UFO-related records and reports to suggest that extraterrestrials are indeed hostile to the governments, military, and people of Earth. As with the falsification of memories, the falsification of UFO records and reports was also intended to gain national support for a space-based weapons system. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Preset targeting for the space-based weapons system discussed in the documents allegedly included Moscow, Leningrad, Beijing, Baghdad, Paris, London, Berlin, and numerous targets in South America. Sources throughout Europe and Asia have reported that America's NATO allies are outraged. As of press time, however, no official communiques verifying the reaction of America's NATO allies have surfaced. One examiner of the documents noted that targeting data had been discussed in three of the memos, and that a number of cities in the United States were also included on that list. While insisting that his anonymity be preserved, this particular source made very clear his unwillingness to trust anybody. "I took a look at the targeting data that was being discussed and it had to have been something else entirely that they were working over. The lat and longs were<i> all </i>off for the cities they were supposed to apply to, and the very few that I was able to memorize and then examine a little closer once I got home put them in other places entirely -- some are located in tiny island groups, while others are on mobile ice flows, not even on land. Something about it was <i>weird,</i> and I don't even want to be associated with this stuff anymore. <i>It's creepy.</i> Maybe they were code names, I don't know, but the lat and long that was supposed to be for Dallas/Fort Worth was actually in Antarctica if you tried to plot it on an actual map. Hell, they have Omaha placed in a small island in the Indian Ocean! <i>Don't call me anymore. </i>This crap is too weird, and I'm not going to be in it anymore.<i> I don't know squat,</i> you got it?"</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Secretary of State John Kerry this morning released a statement to press sources insisting that nobody in the current administration has any knowledge at all related to these matters, but insists that these issues will be addressed publicly and in sufficient detail to satisfy all member states of NATO as well as America's other allies. "We urge everybody to maintain a sense of calm. The documents that have been discovered are historical items that have little to do with the world's current conditions and political climate. <i>We really don't know the full extent to what we have here. </i> For all we know, it could be a very meaningless hoax. It certainly wouldn't be the first hoax that an interest in UFOs has inspired, nor would it be the first or even the tenth hoax involving UFO interference with America's nuclear deterrent forces. I'd like to assure every citizen of this great country that <i>there has been no interference by anybody, foreign or domestic or extraterrestrial, with the nuclear arms and capability of the United States. </i> Our nuclear arms are in the hands of the very best trained and most knowledgeable nuclear custodians in the entire world. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"In regard to the ... the absolutely <i>tremendous</i> number of Americans who have allegedly had their personal memories and their thoughts ... <i>violated in this way,</i> you have my word and the word of the President of the United States that this matter will be investigated. If recompense is necessary, it will be made. And I'll say this much as well, if we find that such offenses took place and that they meet the requirements necessitating criminal charges, you can bet those charges will be forthcoming. For the moment, we urge you to have some patience as we investigate this matter. Like I said earlier, it may be a hoax. We won't know until we look into it further."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Those portions of the newly discovered documents representing the tactics adopted by the Republican presence in Congress during this period, were essentially confirmed today by an anonymous source who was a Congressional aide throughout the 1980s. He came forward of his own volition to discuss these matters in a historical context. He insists that <i>"hysteria can't be manufactured."</i> It's hard not to agree, particularly after the strategy just kind of <i>fizzled.</i> "More than a few members of Congress were nonetheless continuing to conspire with contacts at the Department of Defense and the CIA to ensure that they too were going to get a piece of the pie. It never occurred to <i>anybody</i> that the American public, upon being exposed to these hundreds, possibly thousands of alien abduction claims, simply <i>wouldn't give a damn."</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Dennis Hastert, one time Speaker of the House currently engaged as a captive audience within the Department of Justice, was equally critical. "I'll be frank, I didn't know whether to be proud that the American public wasn't about to be cowed by the threat of an alien invasion, or just sick to my stomach that the American public was apparently willing to ignore the alien abduction of hundreds, possibly thousands of American citizens simply because they thought the claims were only <i>moderately entertaining. </i>Eventually I determined, like most Americans, I imagine, that the whole issue was kind of stupid. Those men and women who were recipients of false memory implants have either written books about it, are on the lecture circuit, or they've been on <i>Oprah </i>or some such thing. Nothing ever came of the space-based weapons system, which was basically a pipe dream, and the CIA is pretty much a laughing stock these days. <i>So where's the damage?</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Still," Hastert added, "those CIA half-bear-man-pigs violated a huge number of Americans, leaving them with a lot of unwelcome memories, and sentenced a number of them to a future filled with an ultimately shameful lifestyle of paranoia and despair.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>"Of course, they didn't do it all half as effectively as I did, but still . . ."</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;"><b>This is a Saucer Press International Publication</b></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;"></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;"> </span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15110659214862886339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273907814703568880.post-46045467153449067142016-04-21T20:00:00.000-07:002016-04-22T16:53:40.795-07:00For Earth Day 2016, The Saucerologist Gets Environmental<h2>
<span style="color: red; font-size: x-large;">The Alien Grays Get Environmental</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;"><em><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: red;">And We All </span><span style="color: red;">Evolve Just a Little Bit to the Left</span></span></span></em></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></h2>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">SPI ATLANTA -- April 22 is seeking an Earth Day foot-hold in the American consciousness, right up there, all fat and happy with O. J. Simpson, pudding pops, and a fruitless cocktail of savage breakfast cereals from the dreaded granola mines of East Muesli, Indiana. Once again, it creeps upon us, one week following the contented sorrow of tax deadlines and the failed compromise of politicians trying to justify the existence of poor and abused voting blocs populated, for the most part, by a bunch of sullen-eyed crap-dozer drivers who just want to get home before the sun drips under the eaves southward from the old lady's warped wooden porch.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Earth Day plants in the rocky soil of our souls all the sad regrets of a future full of men who neglected to recycle amid the remorseless stupidity of those who still insist that global warming is merely the cyclic whitewash of our planet's still youthful vigor. It's necessary every fifty-thousand years or so to cleanse the world of its weather-driven, useless species like the polar bears and penguins of today and the woolly mammoths and giant sloths of yesterday, but otherwise we can safely ignore those God-ridden cycles, drawing comfort from the glaring acts of our consciously insistent, Christian population whose mission it is to prepare the vast, desert wastelands of desperate nations to ensure that there's plenty of empty acreage in which to cram all of those white, carefree, middle-aged men and women who intend to wait out the apocalypse in air-conditioned holes with refrigerated Dasani and seafood miracle-gro tubes packed with paste while the rest of the world tears itself apart, basking under Sharia legal voodoo and a sky full of ugly little star children looking down on us and blinking every few minutes, stunned and glassy-eyed reptiles with nothing better to do with all of that time to play with, while back on Planet Earth, the wrinkled and desolate moralists are trying to create the new mathematics, because the old one doesn't help much when the angry Republic can't figure out what the Hell we're supposed to do with all the refugees from the southern hemisphere banging their little tin drums and trying real hard to forget that they own nothing and have nothing to go back to. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Oh, yeah -- believe it! And when there's only 999,000 sterile white people left on this rocky, freaked-out, sullen planet, it's time to pop out of the holes in the desert and greet the world with a smile! It's another Manson Family vacation -- another Saint Valentine's Day Ragtime Massacre, and we're all gonna live forever. <i>Hallelujah!</i> Somebody please shoot my ass full of penicillin and poppies and we'll all go home together, looking at the sky and praying for the kind of rain that forgot how to wash away the topsoil and the killing fields of torture town.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Calayo Alzochelix, a very well respected member of the Alien Gray community in Atlanta, Georgia, recently discussed the relationship between humans and our environment with one of the stringers <i>The Saucerologist </i>employs in Atlanta. He told us that Alien Grays often find it hard to understand the human enthusiasm for celebrating the conservation of our planet's resources and our wide-ranging and fervent desire to preserve those resources in their pristine, environment-driven state, even those that may seems less desirable than others. Sure, there are the rain-forests to look after, but there's also Death Valley, the Black Hills, Three-mile Island, and places like the Savannah nuclear site bird sanctuary and most of the coal counties in the east, including those areas that we have already ripped away from the surface of our planet and shredded. He found it confusing that all such regions seem to have equal value in the eyes of both environmentalists and the green reformers. It's this oddly remote yet somewhat balanced clemency that the Alien Grays find difficult to reconcile in light of humanity's perpetual efforts to overcome the environments we encounter, and then redesign them to fit our selfish conceptions of what an environment should actually consist of.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You can hardly blame them. The thing about the Alien Grays that makes them question every slight manipulation of whatever environment happens to be the topic of discussion is the cultural importance they ascribe to the evolutionary impulse throughout the galaxy -- throughout <i>every</i> galaxy. Evolution, among some of the younger Grays, has taken on an almost spiritual nature, similar in effect to that of the Holy Spirit as described in the writings of early Christians, particularly the Gnostics. It's this compelling and fervent application of what can only be defined as the "will behind evolution" that many older Grays find disturbing and more than a little troublesome. Their reasoning, in this regard, has become a fascinating topic of discussion during the early morning board meetings at <i>The Saucerologist</i> -- so interesting, in fact, that we've decided to bring the public into the arena with us. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For the most part, many of the more disturbing aspects of the conversation you are being asked to attend have come to us directly from Calayo Alzochelix, of Atlanta's Alien Gray community. His take on the discussion seems to reflect an almost religious connotation or nuance to the issue as defined by the Grays. On the other hand, Calayo was very adamant that the Grays are not religious in any way whatsoever, and have never catered to a belief in a Deity in any form, although they do recognize that temporal power in the hands of a single being might give one an impression of Deity if such power is vested in a single identity and is sufficiently strong enough as to give an impression of "magical ascent". It seemed to many of us who were present that he was at least a little bit insulted by the intimation of any sort of religious impulse originating with his species. Given the anti-religious abominations associated with the teaching of evolution amongst purely human groups, <i>The Saucerologist </i>intends to step back, blameless as always, from any fervor we may be instigating. We're just having a discussion, folks, and any insult that you or the members of any other species might be focusing in on is purely the fault of the Alien Grays, because they're the ones who took the time to explain it all to us over the course of the past few days during typically early morning religious ceremonies and blessings involving coffee and donuts and at least one bowl of leftover crawfish <em>etouffee.</em></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Some of the Grays that we contacted when our concern for getting the facts right forced us to act with some sense of responsibility were absolutely insistent that they not be recognized in print, and we were more than willing to grant that request just as we do when our human sources request similar treatment. From our experience, this is a notably unusual reaction from the Grays, who in general tend to leave one with the impression that they have no concern for such defining human attributes as shame or embarrassment, and therefore are not normally so insistent that individual identities be protected from association with the topic of discussion. However, we have no intention of refusing such a request, and for that reason, the following conversation can only be interpreted within the form of a narrative, and not an interview, as we normally prefer. So, we respectfully request your forbearance as we resume our Earth Day discussion that has now drifted into the decidedly non-religious field of ever-evolving ectomorphs chatting about biology and change while snacking on <em>Skittles</em>.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Evolution, according to the Grays, is extremely aggressive in character, a violent tactic intended to recreate and mold life arising, thereby forcing the environment to mutate in turn. According to the Grays, the environment doesn't force biology to evolve and change by reaction -- it's the rising tide of life that mutates the world, the environment. Its purpose is to create an arena with a purely contextual system of restraint that deprives whatever dominant species may evolve of its ability to choose. Its intent is to destroy free will by limiting as much as possible the choices that can be made by any species regardless of intelligence or its alleged mastery over its own environment.</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">For Earth Day, 2016</span></b></td></tr>
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<span style="color: white;"><span style="clear: left; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: white;"><span style="background-color: black;">This isn't just some weird biosphere grandstanding we're talking about either. According to the Grays, there is a system in place that has a very specific outcome in mind, an apparently unlikely condition that absolutely must occur for the universe to even exist. That condition, as we understand it, can only be brought to fruition through time and space in one very specific way: the countless googols of lifeforms throughout the universe have to make choices and act upon those choices in a very specific manner. Keep in mind that all these lifeforms have their own minds, and their own likes and dislikes, their own motivations to behave or to react to the behavior of others, and most of the time, they don't even know about the existence of all these other species that are out there populating and trying to spread their will and their seed throughout literally millions of galaxies. The only effective way to force all these lifeforms to act in such a specific manner is to remove both their will and their ability to make other choices. And that's where evolution comes in.</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: black;">These trillions of trillions of lifeforms are, for the most part, unaware of each other, and couldn't possibly communicate with each other even if there was such an awareness, so any attempt to convince them to act in the manner you want is out of the question. And that means you have to develop a system that forces life to follow these necessary and specific instructions by instinct. If you can do that, then you can mold, configure, and shape the entire universe in whatever way you want. According to the Grays, that's all evolution really does. It keeps all the life in the universe in line by ultimately forcing life to act selfishly on one side of the coin, and taking away life's will to act on the other side of the con. Evolution's primary goal is to destroy free will in order to advance perfection.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: black;">And folks say evolution theory isn't fun. </span><i style="background-color: black;">Go figure.</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Some of the older Grays insist that evolutionary will and ultimate purpose can be proven mathematically, but when they start talking about it and describing the process, it becomes obvious before too long that those who could actually follow the logic (or lack thereof) were forced to define a whole new system of mathematics just to express the idea of such an evolutionary construct. Fairly early in this discussion it was made apparent that none of the humans who were physically present could make much sense out of it. Part of it rests on the assumption that our basic understanding of physics is completely wrong -- kind of -- at least part of the time. For instance, the speed of light isn't constant. According to the Grays, the speed of light becomes extremely malleable under extreme conditions. And that leads us to one simple fact inherent to alien science that is difficult for most humans to accept on faith alone: <em>everything changes when your environmental conditions are pushed far enough to the extremes.</em></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This is the way Calayo tried to explain it, and I say "tried" because he's fairly young when it comes to the Grays, and admitted outright that he lacked the ability to understand a lot of the mathematics without the focus of will that can only be attended through biological time and age, <em>or so he says</em>. Is it possible to learn something when you know next to nothing about your teacher such as where his knowledge comes from? And what happens when your teacher tells you in plain and simple language that he doesn't possess any real understanding of the topic? The only clear truth we can use to judge either the value or the veracity of the lesson is that we know very little about the Alien Grays in the grand scheme of things. We don't even know how old they can get, let alone how to tell a youngster from the venerable. Both young and old Grays get wrinkles, and they don't have a whole lot of hair to use baldness or the extent of white streaks amongst the gray as a guideline. How do they age? Does their appearance change? Do they mutate with age? Do they develop vestigial limbs? How do we judge the truthfulness behind the claims or the wisdom they're setting out for us? Some of us suspect that even if we knew the answers to those questions, it might not matter. What happens if the Grays are just as ignorant as we are? One of <i>The Saucerologist </i>stringers that we retain in Atlanta insists that he heard first-hand from one of the Grays -- name respectfully anonymous -- that "few of us can even remember what we looked like before we left home for the rest of the galaxy. As for those who insist they can remember exactly what we looked like, and exactly what we enjoyed doing and exactly what home was really like, well -- <em>I think they're making it all up as they go along."</em></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">They don't exactly inspire confidence, do they? Unfortunately, what we don't know about the Grays represents a giant hole in our knowledge base, so naturally our response is to take the easy road out of the spider pit that hole represents and leave all of the understanding and the prospecting and such to our audience. Give us a yell if there's something you don't understand -- or just call one of the Grays; that's how we do it when there are too many weird questions like that to make it into and then out of the next paragraph.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><em>So pay attention.</em> What follows is what we've been told, more or less, and we don't really understand it as much as we'd like to. So,<i> The Saucerologist </i>invites you, our audience, to figure it all out for yourself. You can dance with it all as a mere hypothetical, if you like, or you can make it a game or you can just ignore it completely. Whatever your response, it's not going to change the fact that <em>April 22 is Earth Day,</em> and you should probably be praying to whatever divine reflection of universal will you're willing to recognize that we'll be celebrating it all fat and happy a thousand years from now, because planets are nowhere near as permanent as we'd like them to be, and a lot of what been told is downright frightening.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Calayo says that in theory there are no limits. But outer space is not "in theory", so if you want to produce abnormal readings, or you want to examine something that isn't supposed to happen in accordance with our view of modern physics, then you need to do it in an abnormal environment. This sort of environmental phenomena is impossible to examine elsewhere. Okay, that's the simple part; the hard part is less endearing, because it's contrary to everything we've ever been taught. We tend to look at the speed of light as a constant, because we can't imagine an environment in which the speed of light changes. But if you shove a black hole into the center of a dozen stars and you do it at speeds approaching that supposedly constant speed of light, you'll be creating an extreme environment, and if you've got the wherewithal to examine what's going on at the same level complex elements are at when they start changing into something more or less invigorating, then you can change the universe. The only headache, of course, is trying to do it all at the same time. We should probably mention that the above isn't necessarily a recipe for changing the speed of light; none of the Grays were prepared to go that far, but they did want to ensure that we understood what was meant when they started talking about an "extreme" environment. It's what happens just a nanosecond after you do something that's impossible just before you freeze-frame the universe in some unnatural pursuit of God. <em>Got it? </em>Wonderful...</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The speed of anything always hinges on its environment; we just don't examine the universe so closely that we'll see this type of change occur -- at least not often. Take the speed of sound, for instance. Our test pilots throughout the 1950s and 1960s were looking at the speed of sound as a constant speed, a barrier to break through that would eventually explode us all into the Big Time. But if we were trying to break that barrier underwater, we'd have to be going a whole heck-of-a-lot faster, because the speed of sound underwater is a lot higher. Due to the pressure and the temperature gradients and the density of water, the deeper you go, the higher the speed of sound gets. And you'd have to be going even faster than that if you could find a way to travel through a good-sized planet at the speed of sound, because the more dense the environment is, the higher the speed of sound is going to be. Try and imagine how destructive the sonic boom that occurs would be when you break the sound barrier <em>underwater.</em> Now think about how much of the planet you might just tear apart if you broke the sound barrier in the molten center of our own happy little blue planet. When Earth Day rolls past us on April 23, you should give a little thanks to the cosmos that we still have a home, because if you give anything enough thought, you'll soon discover how easy it would be for a single thought to take everything down <em>forever.</em> Everything changes -- even alleged constants like the speed of light. By far, the easiest way to make everything change immediately is to change your environment. But if you change your environment without knowing exactly what's going to follow, then you're playing with a new kind of damage control that's liable to rip a good-sized planet into a billion shards of irresponsible crap.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And just to keep it interesting when you start dancing with another sad incarnation of Kali, you should keep this little reminder in the back of your head with the timing and the music and the heavy history and all: <em>Earth is NOT a good-sized planet.</em> Our planet is tiny, and it's the only one we've got. You should keep that thought within easy reach when you start lobbying for environmental change. And never, ever forget: when the environment undergoes extreme change ... Hell, son, <i>everything else goes extreme as well.</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">By now, you're probably wondering what all of this has to do with evolution. Good question. In the litany of the Grays, evolution is aggressive and it's driven by will. That means it has a purpose, and without us stepping into scattered explanations amongst all of the little details and mismatched furniture that make it look all pretty without necessarily making it easier to understand, we want to affirm that evolution's alleged purpose is to limit the damage throughout the universe that occurs as a result of free will in order to advance the crucial cause of perfection. <em>Got it?</em></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Any given environment on every planet in every galaxy in the universe isn't much more than planetary happenstance encountering and battling each other for dominance. There is no such thing as survival of the fittest in regard to any single species. <em> It's a myth</em> -- or, rather, it's a simplified thought-tool or mind-construct that allows us to look at environmental conditions from an entire species' point of view. At the species level, however, there's not a whole lot going on to hold your attention. It's just animals rising and falling, rising and falling. <i>They evolve, they compete, they go extinct.</i> It's common and it's necessary. What's actually going on is far more interesting, however, when it's examined from a <em>planetary </em>perspective, which is how the Grays tend to look at everything. What they're looking at is far more interesting if you really want to understand what's going on in the world -- <i>on every world.</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You see, the planet is growing and developing and learning, because it only gets one shot at the Big Time, one opportunity to foster a child, and give it a chance to shine amongst all the other worlds. It's a single environment, a new element that rises from the planetary zeitgeist, one that determines its own extent and its own flexibility by establishing a penultimate state of cultural superiority as reflected within the instantaneous eruption of intelligence and communication that always occurs when it's getting ready to jump planet to spread its life around a little. That burst of intelligence and communication only occurs when a single species has been successfully created by environmental competition, and unconsciously molded into the very definition of its environment. Science and the benefits of science do not advance on a planet that has yet to determine its own superiority as an expression of its environment. Only when the fruits of global competition between environments has been achieved, will science find its voice, because science requires the rigors of leisure for that voice to develop. That leisure does not occur if there are still competing interests between species for future survival. <em>It can't.</em> But once the field of competition has been cleared, the birth of science provides a backdrop to the finalization of competing interests. One species can now provide for its environment, and the fastest and most dramatic way for this to occur is through the sad little miracles of scientific accomplishment. And that not only produces the long-awaited recognition of intelligence as an important factor of future survival, it allows for the far more important factor of <em>communication</em> to enable its near-immediate dissemination to the entire planet.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Calayo was very clear in regard to the whole evolution process. He insisted from the very beginning that evolution works for the environment, not the species, and his support of the proposition forced us to recognize some basic concepts that gave our recognition of Earth Day 2016 a somewhat disturbing nuance of silent yet overbearing implications. The primary bit of banter, of course, was the obvious one: <em>our success as a species is entirely dependent on our environment, and the extent to which we can ensure that our prime environment can forcibly replace another.</em> That's the goal as we understood it. Species, including humanity, are being pitted against each to enable the survival of the fittest homeland. The competition between environments is a pretty clear implication that diversity of species on a planet could very well result in the eventual mismanagement of natural resources. The more species, the longer the competition goes on, and the more resources are squandered in what are essentially meaningless applications of force and the accompanying will to dominate. Eventually, when your environment suffers a slow death, all supported species will no longer have a purpose. We'll have destroyed the only means to a purpose that exists. We imagine it would focus the mind pretty impressively when you finally realize that you've trashed evolution's only purpose.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Calayo says "relax; we're talking about a few million years, and you humans have yet to prove yourselves worthy of the environment you're slowly throwing away. <em>Evolution decides nothing --</em> it works without direction, because it leaves dominant species without decent choices. You can't make bad choices, because if you look at things that way, there aren't any good choices. You might go extinct, or you might destroy your environment, forcing the Earth to develop a new role for life all over again -- and it's already done that more than a few times. Evolution just forces things to happen by making all of your choices completely worthless, except for one. And you don't get to learn whether or not you're doing the right thing, because your planet and your environment don't give a damn about you. <em>Planets recycle -- species just die.</em> You make the right choices, and for the most part they're pretty obvious, or you get to take the express elevator to extinction. That's all there is. It doesn't get better and it isn't fun." </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So we understand that -- or we say we do. Evolution isn't creating a superior species -- we get that. It's creating a superior environment intended to <em>house</em> a superior species -- one with some very specific characteristics, according to Calayo. If humans are going to make it to the Big Time, this is the shopping list we need to handle and take care of first:</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">(1) The superior species is dangerous. It's very dangerous, because it has to be. In a perfect world -- perfect for the environment -- it's supposed to shred nearly every other species on the planet, and it will do so, because it's necessary, and because it wants to survive, and because it wants to live forever. Life has no other purpose as far as the environment is concerned. It's available to be used, and when it can't be used, it's there to be consumed.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">(2) It reproduces quickly, and has little self-control; a superior environment requires over-population, because over-population forces any out-of-control species to either destroy itself, or get off the planet so the environment can spread. It's a form of manipulation that eventually allows only one response: <em>leave the planet or die.</em> When those are the only choices available, free will becomes irrelevant.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">(3) Over-population also forces the species to learn how to replicate its environment elsewhere. The ultimate aim is environmental reproduction at the expense of other environments. If it's too cold, make it warmer. Not enough water? Build dams and reservoirs. Not enough room? Build hotels -- underground, underwater, on the moon, in the desert -- <em>anywhere. </em>You replicate the environment. That's always been the primary goal of both the environment and evolution. You'll die without water? <em>Learn to make it.</em> You're going to freeze to death? <em>Set the world on fire.</em> That's life, and that's what evolution forces you to do. And if you don't do it, <em>you'll die.</em> That's how evolution destroys free will. It leaves you with only one choice, so you'll have to take it or you'll have to die. And evolution doesn't have to write all the rules in a Bible to get you to do what it wants you to do. It just makes all of the other options much less desirable. You should turn left here. If you don't, you'll die. Now turn right. If you don't, you'll die. Now jump off of this planet and make another one more suitable so your environment can go on vacation. Oh, you don't want to go on vacation with your environment? <i>Then I guess you're gonna die! </i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">(4) Your species will eventually have to be satisfied that the number of other species in the world is going to drop significantly so it only includes your pets and your food. Anything else is going to take up way too much space, and since the superior species doesn't do anything like move to another planet unless it absolutely <em>has</em> to, the superior species is going to need to get rid of everything else that takes up space or consumes the resources it's going to need to survive. And that means everything gets eaten or used. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In the long run, only one of three options can possibly occur -- and all three are the result of terrible desperation: </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">(1) The will to dominate is lost, leaving the species adrift as it attempts to slow its own frenetic failure to ascend, and as a result falters and fades into the distracted darkness of barbarism. Basically, you've quit the contest because you no longer have the will to carry on. According to the Grays, this is what happens when there are two or three different species competing for only one or two environments. Your environment isn't competitive on a planetary level until it's working with a single dominant species. Until you've got that, the environment isn't simple enough to control the whole planet. Cooperation between species will always weaken the environment, and a weak environment gets replaced.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">(2) The species' failures overcome its will and it comes to a complete and shuddering halt as the species destroys itself. This is what happens when a superior species attempts to control its environment when it lacks the will to control itself. According to Calayo, most intelligent species who haven't already reached the conclusion that all gambling is basically an environmental con game that's been generated to keep the weakest members of the species away from any decision-making that's going on are betting that this is the eventual fate of humanity. Frankly, <i>The Saucerologist</i> is pretty impressed with the odds that are currently being offered, but life span being what it is for humans, we doubt that we'll be around to collect. And Calayo said that all of the best casino worlds refuse to even entertain the thought of gene-based ownership of legal intent, so it's impossible to make a bet your distant descendants can collect on. Not that it matters much. Most of those on the controlling board of <i>The Saucerologist </i>don't have the stomach for raising a brood in the first place. It's apparently one of the drawbacks to massive consumption of heavy duty narcotics. That's not fair -- call it "experimentation" with heavy duty narcotics. Oh, and Roxie? If I see anything at all about "consumption", you'll have to defend your value to this organization.<i> No, seriously, Rox</i>, so quit laughing. And get me another bowl of those reds.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">(3) The only valid outcome is the third choice, although most people consider it the worst. Unfortunately, it's the only option that prevents complete extinction. The superior species, having created a planet with only one prime environmental class, attempts to murder itself in a misguided attempt to cut the over-population in half. It escalates and threatens to destroy everything, until a relatively small fraction of those left alive locks-up the home field advantage and leaves, thereby assuring the survival of the environment on another world with a hopefully less competitive nature, thereby ensuring its dedication to survival among the cosmos. That's what's meant when you start talking about evolution forcing the issue in order to prevent free will. <i>Evolution's a real bitch. </i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's also an ideal tool for interacting with, surviving, and eventually overcoming the unknown. That's why life is so damn prolific and expansive throughout the universe. It's nowhere near as rare as folks seem to think, and at times, it can seem downright common. If you want proof, just try separating the wheat from the chaff the next time the Republicans field seventeen candidates for President.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We humans harbor a general desire for the preservation of ALL environments encompassed by the biological aggression of Earth's ever-evolving life forms in light of the very well-documented human reluctance to develop and impose upon itself some orderly form of life-management intended to ensure the very preservation of those same conditions in nature that most people support whole-heartedly. Most folks don't like the idea of forcing another species to go extinct just to protect your comfort zone. We actually got rid of smallpox once, but somebody thought, now why'd we do that? Smallpox has the right to live ... doesn't it? Nobody likes extinction, and apparently they don't even like it when it's going to keep another species <em>alive</em>. Look at the dream factories we've been providing for. Go to Hollywood and they're still making movies that feature the <em>Dodo</em>, extinct since the 18th century! God forbid we should ignore the <em>Jurassic Park</em> series! Now everybody wants a pet killing machine. <em>And it's all endemic to our species!</em> Humans don't want to compete with other species, and we want to <em>preserve</em> every natural environment we could ever imagine, and by doing so, according to the Grays, we're steadily organizing and guaranteeing our own extinction! Have you ever been to a PETA meeting before? That's what happens when you prefer the company of <em>Old Yeller</em> to anybody in the world you might meet at a gas station that sells those pre-packaged smoked turkey with cheese sandwiches, and those guys never even heard of mayonnaise! That's right -- some folks, <em>a lot of folks</em>, prefer rabies to a box of Milk Duds and a cold Coke! <em>And the Grays just don't get it.</em> </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"It's almost as if you humans expect these nearly universal desires, opinions, whatever you want to call it to conduct their own well-harbored, systematic defenses automatically, without any need for supporting conditions and characters, simply because it's an outcome that most people <em>wish</em> for. You think it's <i>natural </i>for all species and environments to embrace immortality! That's why you weep when <i>Old Yeller</i> gets put down. And don't get me started on Bambi's mom -- <i>she was going to get eaten!</i> It's not like it was some kind of a wasted death or something."</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">"Well, personally I'm a cat man -- we're called the</span><i style="color: white;"> </i><span style="color: yellow;"><i>ninja cat samurai</i></span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. But I understand your pain, okay? So we like animals. And maybe some of us like viruses. Big deal. Seriously, though, <i>what don't you understand?</i>"</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"It's just that <em>everybody</em> wants to see it happen; no species has to die, extinction is cruel, so it has to go away, and every environment has a nice place to go at the end of the day. My God, the level of enthusiasm for such an idea is almost <i>total</i> among you humans, like 99.999% of all humans."</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Well, yeah. And that leftover 0.001% is executed with merciful lethal injection at the Atlanta Pen, so you might as well say it's an easy hundred-percent.<i> Why does that bother you?"</i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Because I really like you humans and you're orbiting the drain with this kind of an attitude! And there isn't even one of you who sees what's going on! Not one! I point out what's killing you in the evolution department, and everybody I talk to says 'yeah, it's great -- what's not to like?' as if I'm the guy who's holding up Heaven at a crosswalk nobody else recognizes. Humanity will go extinct because it would rather share the few resources available with every other species of life on this planet. You guys have even been willing to share what you've got with <em>us,</em> and we don't even like most of it!"</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Yeah, it's great. So ... <i>what's not to like?" </i></span></div>
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<span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;"><b>This is a Saucer Press International Publication</b></span><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;"></span> </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15110659214862886339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273907814703568880.post-18616973729567265772016-03-31T20:33:00.001-07:002016-07-03T12:14:17.872-07:00Skeptic Attempts to Debunk 7-Hours of Life-Saving Shimmy-Shammy<div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-3342825104438513488" itemprop="articleBody" style="position: relative; width: 608px;">
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<i style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', serif; line-height: 15.6px;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Unknown Assassin Still on the Loose!</span></b></i></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;"><span style="background-color: black;">SPI ALBUQUERQUE -- Amidst rumors of extra-terrestrial contact, well-known UFO skeptic, James Carlson, was admitted to Presbyterian Memorial Hospital in Albuquerque, New Mexico, yesterday for symptoms that include a penile erection involuntarily sustained for over 7-hours. A member of the hospital staff who wishes to preserve anonymity stated that Carlson denies taking any medications that may have induced the condition, an admission that has been confirmed by negative findings on all of the lab work the case has generated.</span></span></span><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;">Carlson is best known amongst the UFO proponent community for his lengthy and exhaustive responses to theories and propositions reflected in the works of UFO scientist and boy band enthusiast Robert Hastings. When asked to comment on Carlson's condition, Hastings grudgingly opined, "it couldn't happen to a nicer guy."</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;">Upon being told of Hastings' comment, Carlson's wife, Ruth, asserted, "you're damn right!" Carlson, we have been told, was completely disabled by the incident and was expected to sleep for at least 12-hours.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;">When asked to explain whether there was some incident that may have contributed to his rigid circumstance, Carlson stated wearily, "I'm really in a lot of pain right now, so is there some way we can maybe conduct this little back and forth later?" Unfortunately, the treatment being considered at the time could have had severe repercussions if combined with the wrong medication or food additives, according to our source. Carlson was eventually forced to admit that twenty minutes "or so" prior to the condition's onset, he "was bitten by some bug, like a beetle, except it was colored dark red and had some bright crimson stripes going length-wise on its back. I slapped at it in when it bit me, and it dropped and made a clanging kind of noise. I looked at it closer, and the damn thing was made of metal that was painted red! I tried to pick it up, but it had a little reservoir of green liquid that opened up and dissolved the whole thing in just a couple of seconds. I don't know where it came from and I don't know what it stuck me with, but my little condition started up a few minutes later. It made walking difficult."</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;">Upon his admission that he and his wife Ruth had been shopping at an area mall when the incident occurred, <i>The Saucerologist</i> asked Carlson why it took him nearly five hours to admit himself to the hospital. He replied, "we were shopping."</span></span><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;">"You were shopping for five hours?"</span></span><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;">"Yes," he replied.</span></span><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;"> </span></span><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;">"According to my wife, we had a lot of shopping to do."</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;">"I wanted to get some drapes," confirmed his wife, Ruth. "We also needed some new pillows for the upstairs bedroom. As for my husband, he had to come along, because I think it's good for him to take a more active role in the shopping, particularly when it comes to getting the groceries, which we never finished doing, thanks to his damn penis!"</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Noted skeptic admits himself </span><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">to Albuquerque hospital</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.456px; line-height: 1.5;"><span style="font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;">Lab work failed to confirm Carlson's story, but also did nothing to expose it as other than true. </span></span><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;">Rumors associated with the incident have now multiplied at the hospital, and true to form, E.T. is being blamed for the courtesy it accordingly granted the UFO skeptic. "I heard it wasn't really a beetle at all, but a tiny flying saucer," reported one of the nurses. "Please don't include my name in your story. I don't want my patients to think I'm some kind of crank, you know? It tends to take away from one's efficiency as a healer. Unless you're one of those Isuzu shamans. They're still around, aren't they? You know; shaman healers? <i>Like in Peru?"</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;">One young patient who gave his age as "I'm four," told reporters that "The Beatles did it! They come from Mars!" Neither Paul McCartney nor Ringo Starr were available to comment on the matter.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;">Repplesmunck Yoleoderff, a much respected Gray Alien and a regular respondent to email queries or telephone calls from <i>The Saucerologist,</i> surprised those manning the night desk, when he reached out to us without first requiring any polite entreaties on our part. Regular readers of <i>The Saucerologist </i>will recall that Yoleoderff is one of the original Gray Alien Ambassadors to Earth. He is currently aboard the Alien dock of the International Space Station for his annual dark matter re-calibration stigmata.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;">His comments in regard to this story were, frankly, somewhat shocking, particularly as they represent an admitted instance of very rare interference by Gray Aliens with human affairs.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;">Yoleoderff's tone was serious: "You should probably inform Mr. Carlson that he was a very definite target for assassination who came very close to dying in a great deal of pain as his cellular structure disintegrated over the course of several hours. My people saved his life by injecting him with a serum specifically created to offset the poison that he had unknowingly absorbed. The poison was purposely introduced into his nervous system while he was waiting for the bus he takes every morning to go to work. He probably thought it was a mosquito, because he slapped at it. Unfortunately, it wasn't a mosquito, but a poison shell of plasticine that was wrapped up in a little piece of toilet paper, so it probably looked like a spitball.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;">"Anyway, the morning darkness made it impossible for us to identify the assailant, but the poison was immediately discovered before the artificial enzymes inclusive to the serum were fully activated, which is a a tendency some element-free chemicals have developed in response to the automated <i>Google Earth</i> scans used to identify the radioactive initiators that are associated with such compounds. And before you dwell on it too much, YES, we did hack <i>Google Earth,</i> but only to improve its capabilities, an act that we refused to complete until we had already secured the unconditional support of the governments currently empowered by the people of the United States and Canada, as well as the software developers who no longer have a legal right to the applications, but do possess a symbolic concern that we try to preserve whenever possible.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.456px; line-height: 1.5;"><span style="font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;">"We used a data-gathering vehicle -- the beetle-shaped delivery system -- as the injector that was thereby administered to Mr. Carlson, albeit without his knowledge or consent. For that, we apologize, but the time was somewhat short for observing all the niceties, so we chose to ignore them. The injector, by the way, was made of an experimental supercoiled porcelain, not metal; the effect was the same, however, so there's all of that. Our intent was to save a life, and we succeeded.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;">"Mr. Carlson, however, would do well to remember that the assassin was not identified, so there's every reason to believe that his motivation is still active as well." J</span><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;">ames Carlson could not be reached for comment, but we assume he's thankful, even though he believes that Yoleoderff is merely a figment of </span><i style="color: white; font-family: arial, tahoma, helvetica, freesans, sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;">The Saucerologist's </i><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;">imagination.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif;"><i style="font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;">The Saucerologist </i><span style="font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;">filed a query with Albuquerque Police Department, but they insist that there was no such attempted murder, and had no intention of investigating such a crime until it's either proven to have occurred, or until Mr. Carlson requests that such an investigation be conducted. An anonymous source within the department insisted that while an investigation folder may not be assigned or officially opened, someone would indeed initiate some inquiries, if only to determine whether such a crime was being purposely silenced. "It's a standard tactic that almost all police departments adopt in matters like this -- well, not EXACTLY like this, but, well you get idea, right?"</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;"><i>The Saucerologist</i> certainly does.</span></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15110659214862886339noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273907814703568880.post-33428251044385134882016-03-05T23:15:00.000-08:002016-03-14T06:11:25.459-07:00Conspiracy to Weaken European Defenses Discovered at U.N.<span style="color: red; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Valuable Assets Purposely Diverted</i></b></span><br />
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<span style="color: red; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;">"We Should be Fighting ISIS, not F***ing Lizard-men!"</span></span></h2>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">SPI BUCHAREST - Already well-known for publishing the recordings of UFO witness statements pre-edited to suggest the presence of UFOs that could not otherwise be supported by objective facts, American UFOlogist and publisher Frank Warren recently added a bright new feather to his cap: investigative journalist and dedicated enemy of old-world Jihadist terrorism. “I was just listening to the week’s log of tapes with a little more care than everybody else, I suppose. When the Romanian’s started talking up their Lizard-men defenses, I admit, I found it somewhat alarming. Freaking Lizard-men, y’know? <i> I hate those guys.”</i> Warren refused to comment on State Department claims that the recording system he and a number of his colleagues have established over the years at various United Nations "clean" sites is a criminal act that will ultimately put them in jail!</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The recording that Warren's log referred to was of a single conversation associated with the Romanian offices that took place on the evening of December 19, 2015 between Dr. Dan D. Farcaș and Dr. Emil Străinu. The two men have been writing partners for years, primarily on the topic of UFOs. Their point-of-view is generally considered to be alarmist and riddled with paranoid suppositions and fantasies.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Dr. Dan D. Farcaș, an adviser to the <i>World Health Organization's National Center for Health Statistics</i> considered a valuable asset when Romania was first being considered for membership in the European Union, is currently working in an advisory capacity for the <i>United Nations' Committee on Health and International Relations.</i> He professes to be deeply concerned about various tactical maneuvers that have recently been advanced "by apparently unidentifiable individuals" against the health informatics system in Romania. According to Farcaș, these unnamed individuals are "essentially forcing this computerized system designed to house medical informatics data for the next century to evolve well beyond its normal capabilities. We still don't have any idea what it's turning into, and we're concerned that the motivation for change may be malicious."</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">General Dr. Emil Străinu is a retired Brigadier General who served in the Romanian armed forces for many years as an expert in <i>radiolocation</i> -- radar technology. He was awarded his doctorate either in the field of geophysical war or in the study of unconventional threats, an odd diversity that seems to be completely dependent on who you ask. Unfortunately, the General refused to respond at all to our numerous queries, leaving us and the rest of the world somewhat bemused. Aside from being the one-time host of his own television series entitled <i>"The Conspiracy of Silence"</i> (Conspiraţia tăcerii), Străinu has also been a well-respected, albeit somewhat frightening, advisor to the Romanian Parliament on <i>"Unconventional Issues and Asymmetrical Threats",</i> Director of <i>"The Special Situations and Research Center on UFOs and Psychotronic Research"</i>, and the primary founder of the <i>"Association for the Study of Unidentified Aerospace Phenomena." </i> Sources close to this story have advised "The Saucerologist" that "the safest reference for publication rights is to drop the messy stuff and just refer to the General as an <i>'occult lecturer'.</i> Frankly, we're not even sure if his uniform is real."</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The conversation between Farcaș and Străinu is at its best when it unfolds naturally, so we're happy to include the following transcript, all of the contents of which have been kindly confirmed and spell-checked by Mr. Frank Warren of the <i>UFO Chronicles,</i> which will be resurrected, we understand, (at least in Eastern Europe), as <i>"The Warren Report".</i> Translation services were very kindly donated by a series of “bioenergetic corpuscular unidirectional emissions atypical in the structure of the human bio-field”, which is essentially a man-made, spiritual energy reservoir that was created in 1989 by Vasile Rudan, a known associate of the “Zero Division” leadership of the <i>Romanian Secret Police </i>(Securitatea). <i>"The Grief",</i> as the bio-energy reservoir refers to itself, successfully sued its maker for complete dominance of its own life force in 1997. Today, it lives primarily on the internet. In an introductory statement offered to "The Saucerologist" when it first volunteered its services, <i>The Grief </i>affirmed that few life forms are aware of its presence, which is one reason it wanted to establish some kind of friendly relationship with those very few personalities it has come to rely on for companionship.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The following transcripts of the conversation between Dr. Dan D. Farcaș and Dr. Emil Străinu represent the startling application of the translation skills offered to "The Saucerologist" by the man-made energy reservoir that calls itself <i>The Grief:</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Farcaș: </span><span style="color: white;">Yes, hello?</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Străinu: <span style="color: white;">J</span></span><span style="color: white;">ust me. I heard from Mircea. Finally.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Farcaș: </span><span style="color: white;">And?</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Străinu: </span><span style="color: white;">He's a sensible man. He says even the appearance that we are soft on ISIS will force the Ukraine to camp on our borders and refuse to allow any crossing by many thousands of refugees justly trying their hardest to get to Germany. We would be forced to open completely our passes into Hungary and Bulgaria. They would then shut the borders down and that would convince Russia to increase their naval presence on the Black Sea And you know what that would do.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Farcaș: </span><span style="color: white;">Pull the main portion of their advisors and security police off the borders of Belarus and out of the Azov.</span></span></span></div>
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</strong><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow; font-size: medium;">General Dr. Emil Străinu</span></span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Străinu: </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yes. Giving away that very expensive free will to every Lizard and crossbreed out of both Turkey and Poland. It wouldn't be a very amusing summer of fun, would it?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Farcaș: </span><span style="color: white;">Yes, but what can we do?</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Străinu: </span><span style="color: white;">Only one thing we can do from a military perspective. We have to put all of our troops on the already closed borders south of us, and lean hard on the Navy to remain in port and try not to piss off any Russians whining about keeping open all those sea lanes of communication. We end up looking like pussies afraid of do-nothing ISIS to a bunch of American pig counters who apparently don't know the difference between a Muslim who cares for nothing except whether or not his eldest son still reads the Koran, and a bored fifteen year old Jewish girl who wants to be a revolutionary so her daddy will burn his NRA card! But if we decide not to look like pussies, we give those goddamn Lizard-men the keys to the only Prius in Bucharest -- which I know is yours, my friend. <i> I am so sorry.</i></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Farcaș: </span><span style="color: white;">It is nothing. Can we not interest the Americans in joining our great struggle?</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Străinu: </span><span style="color: white;">They care nothing for us or our concerns.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Farcaș: </span><span style="color: white;">That's not entirely true, Emil. They care a very great deal about the terrorist threat, and have fought very well and with much enthusiasm against ISIS. They understand that we are not in the war at 100% as they are, but they are very thankful nonetheless for everything that we do for them, and for every bit of help we manage to offer. They are, however, completely anal on the subject of terror. Which is surprising, really, because they have not the slightest idea what true terror really is.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Străinu: </span><span style="color: white;">Few people not raised in the shadows of Transylvania forests do. But the Americans are worse than others. I tried to tell them about the Lizard threat many years ago, and they laughed at me.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Farcaș: </span><span style="color: white;">One man laughs at you, and you develop an opinion about three-hundred millions who do not?</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Străinu: </span><span style="color: white;">It was closer to four-thousand men who laughed. I was delivering part of a symposium on new and radical threats to our western alliance at the time. It was a truly disturbing evening.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Farcaș: </span><span style="color: white;">The point is, I doubt they knew better. Very few men have direct knowledge as you do about the threat the Lizard-men embody. They don't believe that an intelligent creature can be so consciously evil -- not even in the context of witchcraft. Do you know that it's been over three-hundred years since they last executed a witch? Today, if you refuse to serve a witch in your restaurant, that witch can sue you for prejudicial acts that interfere with their free choice of religion!</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Străinu: </span><span style="color: white;"><i>You must be joking. </i> Why would their victims accept such a cruel response from their own government? Why would they not even respond to curses and bad luck?</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Farcaș: </span><span style="color: white;">This is what they believe. It's part of their Constitution.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Străinu: </span><span style="color: white;">No wonder they don't care about the Lizards; their own laws are more of a threat than the Lizards could ever be!</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Farcaș: </span><span style="color: white;">In some cases, yes. You must admit, however, that they have been effective against ISIS; and dedicated as well.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Străinu: </span><span style="color: white;">A</span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"><span style="color: white;">nd this </span></span><span style="color: white;">is why we must keep our present order of battle secret from the Americans. If they discover that we have diverted funds granted to us to further the American War on Terror within the borders of Romania, they might respond with more negativity than we are prepared to justify.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Farcaș: </span><span style="color: white;">Our threat is greater. Compared to the Lizard-men, ISIS is cheap, vodka-free entertainment. What else is there?</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Străinu: </span><span style="color: white;">Well, we have provided much humanitarian assistance, and we have allowed them to build a missile defense system at the cost of our somewhat tenuous relationship with Russia. Surely the Americans will take that into account. We're all NATO around here, yes?</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Farcaș: </span><span style="color: white;">We are NATO. They are American. They are perpetually at war. The Lizards must have infiltrated their government decades ago.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Străinu: </span><span style="color: white;">And?</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Farcaș: </span><span style="color: white;">As you have said it: we must preserve the secrecy of our order of battle. <i>Diverted funds? </i> We have no idea what you're talking about. <i> Lizard-men? </i>What? Are you insane? Be honest now. We expect the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God. Seriously, Emil. Why is it you just can't play a little stupid and then go back to fighting our little war? It's not like we're acting suspiciously, or something; it's not like their F.B.I. is tapping our phones. You haven't heard anything odd, have you? On the phones? Have you anything at all that might be suspicious?</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow; font-weight: bold;">Străinu: <span style="color: white;">Nothing -- we'll be fine</span></span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="color: white; white-space: pre;">. So w</span><span style="color: white;">e'll take their money and we'll take their missile defense technology and we'll apply it like a topical right where it really needs to go: to the Lizard-men. Then we just convince the Americans that we are still very deeply concerned about their incomparable War on Terror and their headphones and bugs and things.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Farcaș: </span><span style="color: white;">It's scary to even think about -- <i>waitaminute; </i>you're not on a cell phone are you? Emil? You are! <i>You're on a fucking cell phone! </i> Goddamn it Emil, how many times do we have to have this conversation? No cell phone, got it? <i>No fucking cell phones!!</i></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Străinu: </span><span style="color: white;">Will you just calm down? Please, will --</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Farcaș: </span><span style="color: white;">No, I will not fucking calm down! <i>I am out ...</i> I am not having this conversation again. For God's sake, we're already wide open to remote psychics, and now you want us to be wide open to simple technology as well? I'm hanging up now, Emil.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Străinu: </span><span style="color: white;"><i>Wait, wait, wait!! </i> I'm not finished telling you about --</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: yellow;">Farcaș: </span><span style="color: white;">You can write me a fucking letter, Emil. <em>Enough!!</em></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This conversation recorded by Frank Warren and friends has already resulted in some spectacular fireworks between the United States and Romania. Romania, in fact, insists that these two men -- Dr. Dan D. Farcaș and Dr. Emil Străinu -- are no longer associated with the legal government<i> in any capacity, </i>and have not been since 2008. U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry, however, has made his views notably apparent: "The United States has granted the government of Romania millions in financial aid intended to be used in our mutually beneficial War on Terror, and we expect Romania to honor the spirit of this cooperation between our two great nations. All of the Lizard crap, however, is not only a poor policy decision on Romania's part, it's also insulting as Hell! <i>Lizard-men,</i> for God's sake? We're at war with jihadist maniacs, not a weird tribe of Komodo Dragons! <i> We should be fighting ISIS, not f***ing Lizard-men!</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Our relationship with Romania has been essentially severed, something I never thought I'd ever say when referring to another member of NATO. That valued alliance now needs to be reassessed completely. Romania needs to examine its actions in the context of its international obligations.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"As for Frank Warren and his <i>UFO Chronicles</i> spy station, they need to tell us immediately what phones have been bugged and where exactly those phones are located. They cannot create a legal system on the basis of what information they insist should be released to them. And the fact that they have made a garbage dump of international law and procedure because of what they believe the status quo <i>should</i> represent would be hilarious if it wasn't such an egregious and unconditionally exclusive violation of our deepest legal issues. Our foreign relationships are based on trust and our mutual resolve to combat our common enemies. I assure you, we take this sort of crime very seriously, and eventually Warren and his own allies will become very well acquainted with the wrong side of those eight-by-twelve foot cells in one of a dozen federal penitentiaries."</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When asked who specifically was having their telephone calls monitored and recorded, Frank Warren stated, "Well, I - uh - I assume you know this, but we're not talking about a single tape recording on a single telephone, here; <i>we're talking about an entire tape recording system." </i> Warren later corrected himself, and insisted that there were no tape recordings. "It's all digital, of course. There are no actual tapes. I'm an old man, and I still think in terms of tape recorders and <i>Watergate</i>, y'know? We're just talking about monitored broadcasts intended to entrap government officials all over the world who might be talking about UFOs and the plans and things aliens are preparing or actually going through with on our planet. <i>We have a right to know all of this, and so we monitor all of their calls."</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">According to the <i>Warren Report,</i> the system is triggered by alarm words in numerous languages that set the system's record state to active. This is precisely what triggered the recordings originating within the Romanian office suites. Warren insists that these triggering phrases guarantee that no recordings will be examined except those very few that discuss UFOs and alien interference in regard to human affairs. "We were very serious about preserving civil privacy at all levels; but when the conversation is steered toward the characteristics of UFO s and flying saucers, it is our duty to listen in on it."</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Warren willingly admitted that the <i>UFO Chronicles</i> spy system -- dubbed such after the significant internet presence Warren has already established -- was remarkably easy to install. "Right after 9-11, we could have put up any kind of system we wanted. Nobody even bothered to ask us for identification -- <i>I was just stunned</i> -- stunned and a little alarmed, but not so much that I would willingly jeopardize the process we had already accomplished. Our goals are far more important than any system or application the United Nations is likely to employ. The fact that we were able to commit ourselves and our worldly needs to realize these uniquely aggressive tactics and goals speaks volumes in regard to our commitment.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"We would tell folks that we were adding some new tech security protocols to already online systems, and they basically said,<i> 'you go, girl!' </i>Well, not to me, I mean, but to the girls that we used to install the recording equipment. We got really cute girls working for us, and they volunteered to do the job <i>pro bono</i> if they were allowed to keep the phone numbers of some of the guys working in the offices. It was kind of funny, too; we actually got into the habit of classifying their accomplishments as <i>'pre boner'.</i> You know -- instead of <i>'pro bono'.</i> We laughed a lot over that one.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Ironically, we ended up completing the Eastern Europe online </span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">monitors </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">first, so I don't imagine they were able to hook up with many of those guys to have a little fun. A lot of those places don't seem to believe in fun; it's up there with 'God' or something. <i>They sure as hell believe in UFOs, though! </i> Man, there's some weird stuff coming out of the old Slavic states! We figure that most of it was probably the result of some pretty severe mental health issues, but they couldn't <i>ALL</i> be due to folks catching the early crazy train, could they? And that means that some of it has to be true, which makes our apparently extra-legal explorations well justified in my opinion. Others probably look at it a little differently by now. I might look at it a little differently myself, once we get to court!"</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The National Security Agency insists that Frank Warren and his cronies not only have no right to monitor the telephone calls of anybody, and doing so constitutes a very serious crime that will more than likely be brought to the attention of a grand jury once criminal charges have been properly applied. State Department spokesman, John Kirby, was openly contemptuous about these UFOlogy claims.<i> "The United Nations is rightfully outraged! </i>This UFO crap isn't even funny anymore. We're talking about a serious crime that's been committed -- and for all we know is still being committed -- merely to entrap government officials who talk about UFOs! As if we're so stupid that we'd discuss such matters like this openly.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>"These fanatics are going to jail; it's just a matter of when and for how long."</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">State Department spokesman, John Kirby, made it equally clear that Warren and his friends possess no legal justification to listen in on the private discussions of diplomats and governors from any nation on Earth, including the 500-Nations recognized throughout the American West. "They don't even have the right to monitor whatever their own government wants to discuss. These UFO guys are complete idiots. They think they have a right to know everything going on around them, because it's a free country or some such crap. Well, I assure you, they're going to find out pretty quickly that it is <i>not</i> a free country and that criminals who think it is go directly to jail just as quickly as drug dealers and pedophiles do! They build up this UFO presence so much in their heads that they think it deserves its own ethical system. <i>Well it doesn't. </i>These guys are criminals and the State Department, in collusion with the Department of Justice, is going to treat them like criminals."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;"><b>This is a Saucer Press International Publication</b></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;"></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15110659214862886339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273907814703568880.post-49677813248599558832016-02-15T20:21:00.002-08:002016-02-18T19:34:45.834-08:00China's Lunar Coverage Reveals Startling Anomalies<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>2-Dimensional Life Forms Discovered on the Moon!</b></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>U.S. Astronaut: "I Saw Mickey Mouse!"</b></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">SPI BEIJING – High-resolution, true color photos of the moon's surface purportedly revealing evidence of previously unencountered lifeforms that were allegedly taken by cameras aboard China's <i>Chang'e-3</i> lunar lander and rover were released today by the <i>Earth Science Evaluation Committee </i>(ESEC). According to the ESEC press release, the photos were retrieved from the original RAW data signals sent by the <i>Chang'e-3's </i>unmanned lunar probe, the <i>Yutu,</i> or "Jade Rabbit," and were not part of the mission's photo sets that the China National Space Administration has made widely available on its website.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The four photographs have been compared to photo-sets released earlier this month by the China National Space Administration, and there is no doubt that the newly released photographs are part of the original data-sets. They differ only in one respect: ESE</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">C's newly released photographs show what seem to be moderately well known, although not especially popular, cartoon characters that have been publicly mortified by some form of physical deformation. The changes undertaken by these figures are so particularly instantaneous between the frames, that the only explanation, according to ESEC member and UFO photography specialist Robert Hastings of Albuquerque, New Mexico, is that these figures represent a previously unknown lifeform that can only express physicality in two dimensions. Such a lifeform has never been discovered in the history of all known life on this little blue planet, making Hastings' theory an especially controversial one.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I think my record speaks for itself, but for all those naysayers out there, I'd like to point out that I received a Bachelor of Fine Arts undergraduate degree in Photography from Ohio University in 1972, a very prestigious university. In addition, I was a photographic technician at Northern Illinois University for<i> eight years,</i> so I think I know what I'm talking about. That's right. <i>Go Huskies.</i>"</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Hastings was later awarded a certificate in Materials Science Applications from San Joaquin Delta College in Stockton, California, following which he was employed by Philips Semiconductors as a<i> laboratory analyst.</i> "As an ESEC associate, I'm a de facto scientist, so I think I know better." ESEC is a group of researchers and scientists formed to re-evaluate the application of human science with the intent of discovering non-human interference with the otherwise natural progression of life on Earth.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The photos that ESEC has released seem to depict the distorted figures of cartoon characters <i>Snagglepuss</i>, a Hanna-Barbera creation originally unveiled in 1959, and <i>Smurfette</i>, a female character in the Belgian comic and television franchise, <i>The Smurfs,</i> originally created in 1958. Upon being asked why such lifeforms would adopt the guise of cartoon characters, Hastings noted that "The creation of these animated characters in 1958 and 1959 seems too coincidental to ignore. 1958 was the first of a three year trough in UFO sightings, meaning the number of yearly sightings was at a minimum, so maybe these aliens assumed that with such familiar faces as those of <i>Snagglepuss</i> and <i>Smurfette</i>, they could afford not to visit us as often. But, who knows? <i>They're aliens.</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"What's remarkable, however, is the fact that even during this trough, the quality and the character of the UFO reports were consistent with those reports made during periods of alien excess. This continuity suggests that valid UFO reports had, for some unknown reason, become an unexpected rarity, a condition easily accounted for if we assume that UFOs possess elements of two-dimensionality that were first acquired in 1958. Such a quality would quite naturally prove itself to be extremely rare, since a two-dimensional lifeform would be invisible most of the time. Being on a plane, a two-dimensional plane, not an airplane, it could only be seen from a perpendicular point-of-view, which means fewer UFO witnesses and therefore fewer UFO reports. That could account for the trough.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"We also shouldn't ignore the evident distortion of the figures. I think this factor alone proves the two-dimensional character of these lifeforms. Such distortions would be typical of the instability a two-dimensional figure would project into our three-dimensional fold."</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The apparent adoption of cartoon characters <i>Snagglepuss </i>and <i>Smurfette </i>for their visible form proved to be somewhat more difficult for Hastings to explain. "As far as <i>Snagglepuss </i>goes, this character was actually televised, so it may be possible that the form adopted has some relation to human thought -- a kind of psychic measuring stick, if you will, because so many millions of Americans were familiar with the form. It's difficult to know, because we're only examining one side of the discussion. Maybe they just liked the vibrant pink coloring to the character's fur. Maybe they like it when <i>Snagglepuss </i>would cry out <i>'Heavens to Murgatroyd!'</i>. I always did.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I honestly don't know the answer here. We're not even looking at the characters in the same way. <i>The Smurfs,</i> for instance, were created in 1958, but they certainly didn't appear on television so quickly; they were comic book characters for the most part, so we'd have to conceive a theory that takes all of this into account -- not an easy task, I assure you. As scientists, we at ESEC have to take all of the encounters' qualities and conduct an analysis that explains <i>everything</i>. This is something skeptics will only rarely do. They immediately jump at what they believe is the simplest explanation, and ignore everything else. It's a very disconcerting way to reach conclusions, and one that real scientists try not to apply so egregiously to their own analyses. For example, a skeptic would immediately assume the whole thing is a ridiculous hoax, merely because a hoax would satisfy every question that he asks, including <i>why in God's name are they taking the form of cartoon characters? </i> Unfortunately, when you jump at the hoax explanation, you're neglecting the primary impetus to the case: <i>the witness.</i> A skeptic assumes the witness is either lying or mistaken, and that goes against a minimum of 60-years’ worth of honest, responsible, and detail-driven witnesses who have been repeatedly proven to be accurate and careful reporters. The scientist has take all of this into account: what have past witnesses been like, are UFO witnesses generally honest, have past accounts of UFOs been accurate as a rule? When you ignore what 60-years worth of witnesses have meant to the spirit of the endeavor, you're taking the low road to a worthless conclusion. <i>That's not science. </i> Science requires us to look at every variable to the equation, and the generally accurate and well-intentioned character of UFO witnesses going back to Roswell is part of that equation. If it was discovered that most witnesses were dishonest and irresponsible, we'd be forced to accept those grounds as well, but history tells us differently. We can accept as fact the proposition that UFO witnesses are very rarely going to lie to you about those things that they've seen and experienced. That's how we know that their stories, and the things they've witnessed are, for the most part, true and accurate.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Look, this is exactly the same way that we determine the guilty party in a criminal case. A jury will always accept as truthful and accurate the story that the victim tells them from the witness box. As a general rule, we can accept that the victim will almost always tell us the truth, and juries act on that common principle. Contrariwise, juries are very much aware that an accused criminal has every intention of lying to them in order to avoid the punishment that society has reserved for those who break society's laws. Juries have always understood that, which is why they trust the victim and doubt the accused. That's how science works. You have to look at <i>everything</i>, and that includes behavior in the historical sense.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Now as far as these two-dimensional creatures on the moon are concerned, we have no historic record to rely on, which makes it somewhat difficult. We do, however, have the photographs, and we understand the physicality of our universe, which helps us to reach valid conclusions. As a result of this, we can say that the photographs prove the dimensional aspect of the claims being addressed, and we can prove the esoteric character of the identities these creatures seem to have adopted, and recognize it as a probable form of communication. That's really a very great deal compared to the examinations conducted by skeptics. Due to our use of science, we possess far more knowledge to base our suspicions on. That's what science does -- it opens up the entire universe before us, allowing us thereby to read the cues that God has provided, and to determine for ourselves the truth behind the claims being made. Are we going to know everything? No. But we're getting closer to knowing and understanding everything every day. That's quite an achievement."</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; line-height: 14.56px; text-align: left;">Heavens to</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; line-height: 14.56px; text-align: left;"> Murgatroyd!</span></span></b></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">An unexpected albeit partial confirmation of the claims expressed by Hastings were logged world wide only a few hours after ESEC's initial press release. Richard M. Dolan, well known American author of <i>"UFOs and the National Security State: Chronology of a Cover-up 1941-1973"</i>, released a statement from a national press liaison service that he has utilized in the past that was remarkable primarily for the fact that the events he describes occurred a couple of years ago. Not usually so reticent to discuss such matters, Dolan insists that he had made a vow to himself that he "would never discuss these events unless something tremendous occurred of a type and significance so positive and doubtless as to grant these claims immediate viability. It is my belief," Dolan's statement continues, "that the photographs and the theory Robert Hastings has given voice to meet all of the requirements I addressed only to myself so many months ago." Since making that statement, Dolan has been interviewed by a number of journalists, including representatives of "The Saucerologist", and the following paragraphs are taken primarily from these interviews. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Dolan has proven himself to be remarkably astute and far more capable than most men at finding the one person among many dozens of eyewitnesses who alone was able to notice the squadron of fiery flying saucers hiding within the one little cloud floating against the wind above military testing grounds, or attending a missile systems event, or recording the political stumping of the American election process, thereby enabling him to focus on and reveal the national UFO conspiracy that all of those professional and much better educated journalists completely missed. He finds the decades-old military memorandums from World War Two with the odd little references to events in the 1970s that do not prove the lie behind the veil, but the reality behind time travel, which in turn point at the flying saucer conspiracies that made time travel necessary. Dolan has, in fact, made himself irreplaceable to American UFOlogy by the simple expedient of believing everything he's told, even when doing so would shame a man of Adam Sandler's simple naivete.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The story that Dolan was told in reference to Robert Hastings' most recent theories, however, was apparently so shocking and so effortlessly unbelievable that until this week, it had represented, for Dolan, the line in the sand that he could never cross -- not without the kind of heavy support and plausibility that Hastings' claims so obviously possess. And the tale Richard Dolan has staked his reputation on, thereby putting at risking his well known integrity, his honesty, and that exceptional level of high strangeness ethics so rarely encountered outside of a McDonald's television commercial is indeed an unbelievable one -- at least it would be without the highly credible and courageous reporting of UFOlogy scientist and intellectual pioneer Robert Hastings. "The story that I was told came directly from American astronaut Dr. Edgar Mitchell, a man highly esteemed amongst his very few peers for his honesty and his faith." </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In addition to Richard M. Dolan's measured confirmation of Hastings' claims, a partially corroborating statement was released by radio host Art Bell in regard to part of a conversation that apparently took place, yet was never confirmed, following his broadcast interview with an engineer by the name of Vito Saccheri, whose firm had done some work for NASA in Houston, Texas. Mr. </span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Art Bell has often proven that he possesses a happy talent for using the English language to communicate with more than one person as long as they initiate the conversation from a few miles away and he doesn't have to look at them.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Dr. Edgar Mitchell, on the other hand, was a far more interesting source, being the Lunar Module Pilot on Apollo 14. He spent two days on the moon with astronaut Alan Shepard aboard the Lunar Module "Antares" in February 1971. From among all of the astronauts manning the Apollo missions, Mitchell and Shepard walked on foot the farthest distance across the moon's surface; they spent 33 hours on the moon, representing the most time spent on the lunar surface; they were also the first pilots to utilize the shortened lunar orbit rendezvous techniques, and the first astronauts to use color television with the new and technologically gro</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">undbreak</span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">ing <i>V</i></span><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>idicon </i>t</span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">ube on the moon. Always on the cusp of human endeavor, Dr. Mitchell was the sixth human being to ever walk on the Moon. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Tragically, on February 4, 2016, exactly 45-years after his first approach to the moon, Dr. Edgar Mitchell passed away at the age of 85. A true American hero, Dr. Mitchell advanced in insurmountable ways the scientific tradition, the peaceful aggression, the unconditional pride, and the world-wide reputation of American exclusivity in a world that has grown cynical, weary, and angry over American political hegemony.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Author Richard M. Dolan was just as surprised by the revelations expressed to him by astronaut Dr. Edgar Mitchell as the rest of the world is today. "About two years ago, I was given the opportunity to meet this great man by a couple of lawyers who worked exclusively for my publisher. Don't ask me for their names, because I have no intention of divulging that. If they ever choose to come forward, they can certainly do so, but I won't bring unwanted attention to them, their families, or my publisher -- and that's final, so don't even ask. I don't think it would adds much to the narrative in any case. Personally, I was so stunned by both the content and the assumed context of Mitchell's claims, that I didn't consider anything even remotely related to the invitation that brought me there until it was time for all of us to go.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Anyway, Dr. Mitchell and I met at an outdoor barbecue, and I shook his hand, introduced myself, and that was it. I don't force my attentions on people, and he was certainly very well aware of my interests; if he wanted to talk to me, he could easily do so. After all, I was enjoying the cookout, and I had no reason to make myself scarce. It was at somebody's lakeside home </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">with a big yard, lot of property. I'm not going to say who held it either. If they want to come forward themselves, they can do so on their own dime. In any case, I was just taking it easy a bit. I watched some volleyball, I had a few too many beers, and I was very relaxed, something I was thankful for at the time. Once the sun went down, some folks left, while others went inside, but I was sitting at a table and picking at leftovers, and had no preconceived expectations for the rest of the evening, except that I'd be leaving when the two gentlemen who invited me left, and one of them was still on the lake with the far too young daughter of another guest, which I maybe shouldn't be mentioning, since they were friends and all. I was probably the only one who thought she was too young, 'cause nobody else was paying her that much attention, which was when Dr. Mitchell sat down next to me chewing on a stick of beef jerkey that I later found he made himself out of alligator tail. He said he was familiar with my work, and expressed some surprise that I hadn't tried to ask him any questions, or attempt to strike up a conversation. Apparently he had a lot of stuff to say about UFOs at one time or another, and I guess he expected a pop quiz or some such thing.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I told him, 'I don't work that way, sir,' and he smiled and said that in itself was a rare thing. He'd had a few drinks, or so I thought, 'cause he was quiet but with a somewhat bothered expression on his face. And he turned to me and said, 'I want to tell you about the strangest thing I've ever seen in my life, and I'm not very certain why, but eventually somebody else ought to know.' Well we hemmed and hawed a bit; he made me promise not to ever tell anybody about it while he was still alive, and recommended I not tell anybody about it until someone else confirms it, because, and I swear, these are his exact words: 'I don't know even to this day whether what I saw was typical for other astronauts or not, but it was certainly real for me, and I've never been one to hallucinate. In addition, what I saw was on the moon, so you can imagine how my senses were on fire, because I didn't want to forget or misremember anything, and it was full color fantastic! I made a concerted effort to remember everything in very exact detail. Y'see, not many people have had the same opportunities that I've had, and I didn't want to forget any details whatsoever. I kind of felt duty bound.' Those were his exact words, exactly as I wrote them down five minutes later, because I didn't want to forget anything either. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"It was actually a pretty short conversation -- he spoke two sentences, then he smiled, and said he was going to get some iced tea. He stood up, and looked me right in the eye, took a quick bite of his alligator tail beef jerkey and said 'I'm an old man, Mr. Dolan, and I have no intention of ever discussing this matter again with anybody. <i>But it happened; </i>every word I told you was true.' He smiled again, said it was nice to meet me, and walked into the house.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Well, what he said shook me, and like I said, it was only two sentences and they were delivered quick: 'when I was on the moon -- and this is God's honest truth -- I saw Mickey Mouse walking up out of this crater, a little distorted and awkward, but I knew exactly what I was lookin' at. About the same size as a real mouse, but changeable, Mickey focused on me, looked me right in the eye, turned just a bit from his shoulders, and then disappeared, like something you see in your peripheral vision that vanishes as soon as you try to center your full attention on it.' And then he took a last sip from a well nurtured bottle of beer, smiled at me one last time, and walked away. He never mentioned it again -- at least not to me. </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In light of Robert Hastings' recent announcements, I would recommend that people make up their own minds regarding this admission. And yes, I'm very much aware that telling people to make up their own minds in regard to a second-hand admission is hardly helpful, involving, as it does, the single most attractive topic in human history for hoaxers, frauds, liars, and pretty much anybody wanting to see their name published in newspapers, magazines, and discussed on scary, interview radio, but -- well, it's <em>Mickey Mouse</em> on the moon, and he's by far the most famous and beloved mouse in American history. Believe me, I sincerely want you to trust my word when it comes to accusations of a government conspiracy to keep secret the most important news in all of history, but that doesn't mean you should consider every sentence with a UFO in it as the Word of God. Now I'm a UFO expert and even I don't know what to think of this. A lot of you might think I shouldn't be talking about things as true if I don't know that it's true, and that's one way to look at it. I don't see things that way, in black and white, or as true or false. If someone tells me something and says that it's fact, whether I believe him or not isn't relevant. <em> It's my duty to write about it as if it's true.</em> Otherwise, I'm just treating the source with contempt, and I'm not that kind of guy. <em>I trust everybody</em> -- if I didn't, I wouldn't be much of a reporter, would I?</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Have a Smurfy Day!</span></b></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"But it's also important to remember that we're talking about creatures with names like <em>Snagglepuss,</em> <em>Smurfette, Mickey Mouse</em> and <em>Robert Hastings."</em></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It was shortly after Richard Dolan released his first statement, that Mr. Art Bell, famed radio host of numerous discussion format shows that are primarily about topics involving the supernatural or claims regarding UFOs, weird and fanciful conspiracies, cryptozoology, and similar subjects of high strangeness, released a statement of his own that contains some corroborating yet nonetheless <em>unconfirmed</em> remarks. He stated that he had once interviewed a gentleman named Vito Saccheri who was an engineer in Houston, Texas. Vito Saccheri had made a number of claims beginning in 1995 that involved an allegedly secret cache of NASA photographs proving that there were numerous UFOs and alien-built structures and buildings on the moon. Bell is not normally the type of man who would make statements that tend to reflect poorly on the credibility of his guests. He refrains from discussing, for instance, the often easily determined proof that claims made by some of his guests are to a great extent lies or misstatements made to curry favor with the infamously gullible members of his audience, this purposeful approach enabling his guests to publicize their newly released DVDs, upcoming documentaries, or books that they have for sale -- all of which are often fictitious, yet discussed as if they were factual. It's therefore out of character for him to state, as he did in this instance, that Saccheri's claims were at the time dismissed to a great extent due to many such comments of his having been proven without an iota of doubt to be lies or misstatements of the sort commonly addressed but never discussed on other episodes of his show. Without assessing any other claims by Vito Saccheri, he insisted that after his interview with the Houston engineer, Saccheri told him in confidence that one of the astronauts, who was unnamed, had made the insistent claim that "he actually saw cartoon characters on the lunar surface. I figured he was joking around, 'cause we both laughed our asses off."</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Mr. Art Bell refrained from qualifying the claim made to him as Richard Dolan had, a reaction commonly expected, yet nonetheless considered as evidence of Vito Saccheri's good faith and easily addressed credibility by members of Bell's general audience, one in three of whom will come down with a case of shingles sometime in the span of their life. Because if you've had chickenpox, you already have the virus for shingles floating around in your bloodstream.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It should be mentioned for the benefit of UFO theorists, that although China has a long history of constructive animation -- one broken only by the many restrictions enforced between 1966, with the onset of the Cultural Revolution, and the 1990s, with the implementation of a socialist market economy -- no animated characters originating in China have been observed on the lunar surface. In addition, other than the recent mission achieved by China's <em>Chang'e-3</em> lunar lander and rover, only the United States and Russia have ever landed on the moon. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Two additional robotic missions over the next two years have been planned by China, one of which intends to explore the far side of the moon, the alleged location of at least two bases currently manned by hundreds of extra-terrestrial personnel, the majority of which are suspected to be Gray Aliens from the Zeta Reticuli star-system. Repplesmunck Yoleoderff, a regular respondent to email queries or telephone calls from the "The Saucerologist", stated that there are no Alien Grays on the far side of the moon. "That's just a rumor, one that was probably started soon after NASA's Apollo missions definitively proved that there are no Alien Grays, let alone a manned base, anywhere on the side of the moon facing Earth. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"The fact is, too many UFOlogists have too much invested in claims of an alien lunar presence. Since UFOlogists alone have been making these claims, and have been doing so for decades, the alien lunar presence is very much associated with UFOlogy's always wavering, never very strong credibility. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Many UFOlogists also believe that the moon is primarily an American territory established as such during the Apollo 11 lunar mission. Unfortunately, the territorial imperative inherent to this belief was established without reliance on formal title, thereby making the issue a political one. They insist that an alien presence is akin to that of squatters, who make claims of ownership by virtue of occupation. In such a case, the possessor of real property without title may eventually gain such title by occupying said property -- in this case the moon. It's just a paranoid dream, really."</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yoleoderff, one of the original Gray Alien Ambassadors to Earth, is currently aboard the Alien dock of the International Space Station for his annual dark matter recalibration stigmata. He asserts that any real presence of alien life on the moon must have established itself within the bounds of great secrecy. "My people know absolutely nothing about lifeforms occupying the moon. Frankly, we're somewhat doubtful that the evidence offered gives any indication that this is, indeed, the case. On the other hand, if such life does exist and is primarily limited to the second dimension, its appearance or any indication of its activities in the third dimension would not only reveal great instability, which to some extent we've seen here, it would also be <em>extremely </em>rare, which would tend to explain why the only evidence of its existence was noted nearly 50-years and a number of additional missions with increasing amounts of data collected <em>after</em> the Apollo 11 mission first put a man on the moon." </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;"><b>This is a Saucer Press International Publication</b></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.45px; line-height: 23.18px;"></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15110659214862886339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273907814703568880.post-33770468246488688492016-01-27T12:55:00.000-08:002016-01-29T17:58:27.565-08:00New Classification System Expected to Force Recognition of UFO Phenomena<h2 align="justify">
<span style="color: red;"><em>Bigfoot, Giant Monster Fans Thrilled!</em></span> </h2>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">SPI LOS ANGELES, CA -</span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A new UFO classification system created by Giorgio A. Tsoukalos, cable T.V. host of <em>"Ancient Aliens"</em> and internationally known UFOlogist is expected to finally force the U.S. federal government and the Department of Defense to recognize the solid foundation currently supporting the study of flying saucerology. That, at least, is the primary intention of its designer, who insists <em>"it was so much easier than I</em> <em>thought it would be! </em>I honestly didn't think there was a solution at all."</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">According to Tsoukalos, "one of the major problems UFO proponents have when it comes to inspiring interest among government functionaries -- most of whom tend to favor the more skeptical side of the issue -- is the integration of terminology that we've been forced to adopt. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is for an eyewitness to something so extraordinary to stand by his claim? I'd be a millionaire if I got a nickel every time a witness is forced to insist, 'I don't care what you think; I know what I saw -- I know EXACTLY what I saw,' only to have some annoying little skeptic come back with, <em>"y'know, I don't think you do, 'cause if you did, you wouldn't be telling everybody that you saw a UFO, which by definition is something unidentified.'</em> That pretty much ends the discussion right there, and the eyewitness looks like a freaking idiot. How do you think that makes us feel?"<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The solution to this problem, however, eluded Tsoukalos for many years. Originally, he thought the solution was an easy one: get rid of that obnoxious "U" and resolve the matter by convincing everybody to accept the designation "FO", for "Flying Objects." Unfortunately, the USAF and other groups affiliated with the federal government, both legislative and executive, insist that it can't be done, because it would imply the existence of flying objects acting with impunity, flattening crops, mutilating livestock, practicing medicine without the license to do so, and -- possibly their worst act of interference -- disturbing our sleep patterns, and that the U.S. government had, in fact, purposely licensed them to do so. After all, the provision of safe skies through the proper licensing of flying objects is one of the primary functions of the FAA. What surprised Tsoukalos the most, however, was the level of very real enmity originating with UFO proponents.<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">According to Tsoukalos, "That seemingly insignificant 'U' is incredibly important to UFO proponents, because these days, a great many of the sightings that we find so convincing are simply not flying. Some are underwater, some are on the land, some are just plain weird -- like buildings or carved out numbers on huge granite slabs or pyramids or giant faces on Mars or big, black monoliths that we've discovered on the Moon. As long as that questionable little 'U' was part of the designation, nobody was required to limit the associated field of inquiry to 'Flying Objects' alone. <em>Take out that secretive or unexplainable element, and all of a sudden, you're forced to abide by the standard definition alone.</em> It's the ambiguity of the term that apparently makes it so universal in character. Without it, there's a huge, associated class of sightings that are no longer conclusively associated with anything, let alone flying saucers. And that means many of the arguments that favor the E.T. hypothesis are no longer affiliated with the phenomena itself. And without the E.T. hypothesis, what's the point? Seriously, why even bother looking for a solution? If we're talking about just another top secret aircraft being tested by Boeing or whatever, who really gives a damn? A dozen guys in Russia and China, and maybe some manga publishers in Japan, but that's it. Game over as far as I'm concerned. <em>Game over as far as most UFOlogists are concerned."</em> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The whole issue, it seems, revolves around the mystery of the subject, not its identification. As long as the world continues to see flying saucers as "unidentified," than the world -- including the USAF and the ever-elusive U.S. Congress -- is willing to consider almost any solution whatsoever. A UFO could be a flying jellyfish that falls into the ocean and glides away. It could be a mountain-sized pyramid on the dark side of the moon that might actually fly away someday ... <em>or not.</em> It could be <em>anything,</em> because its primary characteristic is the fact that it's unidentified." It could even be another planet that nobody has ever seen before, but excites us anyway due to its sneaky freaky potential.<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Psychologically, the human race doesn't like leaving things undefined, so it's generally willing to accept any identification imposed, as long as that identity possesses some form of internal logic; if it makes even a little bit of sense, it's accepted as gospel," insists Tsoukalos.<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I know it sounds oddball," he opined, "but whenever we call something<em> 'unidentified',</em> we're suddenly able to identify it as literally anything. <em>Which is really great. </em> At least, it's great until you want some jerk in a uniform to believe you when you say,<em> 'I know EXACTLY what I</em> <em>saw!'</em> When that happens, when you start to specify, you kind of want to crawl under a rock and disappear when somebody calls you on it -- <em>and they always do.</em> It occurred to me last week while I was watching TV, that those folks looking for Bigfoot in the middle of Dallas, Texas probably feel the same way. And so I pondered on that for a bit. And since I was watching the <em>History Channel,</em> I got all sorts of inspirational ideas that had nothing at all to do with history, which was exactly what I needed at that particular time. <em>Thank God for profit-oriented cable!</em> I would have never gotten this lucky on PBS." </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The inspiration that Tsoukalos found himself tuning into resulted in the inclusion of more ambiguity than most UFO proponents are normally inclined to rally behind. According to Tsoukalos, it's within that characterization of the issue that its true genius really shines. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Since 1947, there has been an average of roughly 1,500 UFOs reported every year. It's a commonly accepted supposition that anywhere from five to ten percent of those 1,500 UFOs cannot be reasonably explained as the product of relatively commonplace circumstances. That's not much. We're talking about 75 to 150-sightings per year, around the world that cannot be explained. Even then, it doesn't mean 75 to 150 flying saucers; it means 75 to 150 incidents that cannot be immediately explained. That's not a very convincing number to someone who's inclined to suspect such reports in the first place. <br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"If we want government functionaries with their wallets packed with all those military resources that we all know can solve the UFO problem in a relatively short amount of time, we're going to have to produce something a little more dramatic than 75 to 150 UFO reports a year, most of which will never be properly investigated, and will very likely be forgotten by everybody except these 14-guys I happen to know who collect such reports on the internet. Well, the solution to that little problem, my friends, lies within our classification of UFOs -- specifically, that big, old capital 'U' at the beginning of the UFO story."</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><em>And therein, according to Giorgio A. Tsoukalos, lies the genius of ambiguity.</em></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The first widely accepted UFO classification system was introduced by Dr. J. Allen Hynek in the 1960s. These were the Close Encounter designations, all of which assume as a factual starting point a physical close encounter based primarily on the objective observation of a UFO by a human witness, a witness who, like most humans, is generally governed by internal, subjective thought structures. It's a weak system in that it also assumes honesty is characteristic of the witness, who in turn acknowledges the unidentified aspect of the object. It is flawed as a result of its specificity being undefined -- a flaw that makes identification impossible, and a thorough investigation either meaningless or a complete waste of time.<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Dr. Hynek admitted as much shortly before he died when he concluded to his own satisfaction that UFOs are completely explainable in the context of military, experimental or private aircraft. And all of those "remarkable yet impossible in that context" characteristics typical of such incidents are entirely due either to misidentification or to the barely observed and poorly described elements of such objects mistakenly applied to the issue by error-prone eyewitnesses. Hynek's newly applied point-of-view tended to place the insurmountable weight of evidence for the E.T. hypothesis in the "eyewitness didn't understand what he was looking at" column, the repercussions of which could have abolished for all time the hope of humanity that our little planet was under examination by some alien equivalent of "Star Trek" creator Gene Roddenberry's "United Federation of Planets". Tsoukalos, like so many UFOlogists well-prepared to contemptuously ignore the opinions of those handicapped with an extensive background in organized science and education, bluntly refused to even consider such an option, proving to his own satisfaction that the opinions of highly educated men and women were not only unnecessary, but were downright inconveniently detrimental to those of an ignorant man with a powerful conviction. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Tsoukalos, however, was not entirely outclassed by the obstacles that a skeptical world-view had seemingly placed before him. Unlike most UFOlogists, he had noticed something untenable about Hynek's Close Encounters system that the swamp-gas maven had neglected to explain: his system makes it all too easy for educated men and women to dismiss any sighting or incident almost immediately upon the mere suggestion of identity, one that requires little to no proof to be instantly adopted by skeptics and believers alike. The suggestion of identity in such a context is every bit as exact as the actual identification when the only standard necessary to assert is the possibility of any common origin. Like <em>"it must have been flares,"</em> for example.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In a short, paid for and picked up at Walmart instant, <em>"what the heck is that?"</em> turns into <em>"dammit! fooled by Venus once again."</em> And once that accursed variable of "unidentified" can no longer be applied as an exact measure of the target's reality, any real, fully validated investigation becomes almost immediately irrelevant. The flying object, after all, is no longer "unidentified". Amazingly, the accuracy of that identification is completely meaningless as well. After all, the only standard of value is <em>"yes"</em> or <em>"no",</em> as measured in terms of <em>"black"</em> or <em>"white"</em> without any consideration of probability, which, as the world knows, is a withering and changeable field of gray.<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Dr. Hynek's classifying system itself is flawed in that it requires very little investigation to close out any given case file as fundamentally insignificant. It was basely apparent to Tsoukalos that any classification system that required so little examination to dismiss a case in its entirety would eventually require the dismissal of the phenomenon making such a system necessary. In this case, such an assumption means getting rid of the E.T. hypothesis, an act that Tsoukalos was certain would set the science of UFOlogy back centuries. But what could be done? There seemed to be no easy solution within easy reach. How exactly does one redefine a UFO for classification without applying specificity? The question was maddening.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Fortunately, there was no shortage of UFOlogists attempting to solve the problem Tsoukalos had focused on. In the mistaken belief that you can prove anything as long as you've got numbers on your side, UFOlogists fell in love with statistics decades ago, which suggests that they like to classify things, putting them in lists and reorganizing their appearance on a spreadsheet for the benefit of mankind. Or something like that ...<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As a general rule, UFO classification systems tend to evolve from the disappointingly limited variables of the type proposed by Dr. J. Allen Hynek to far more specific and extensive systems, numerous examples of which seem to crop up every year. As a general rule, everything becomes more complex, but is more complex necessarily better? It never occurred to Tsoukalos that problems of the sort he had been working himself into a lather over for some years could be significantly affected by simply changing how you looked at it, which is essentially what an increase in complexity brings to the table, unless you've decided to change the standards of classification as well. It's a point of fact that point-of-view, Tsoukalos was learning, can oftentimes affect the very definition of this inter-galactic phenomenon he had always considered undefinable. Sometimes, he was starting to believe, you have to look underground if you want to see the stars.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Check this out. There's a guy named Rosales who goes nuts over humanoid sightings. How many people really care much about a figure spotted in the distance who looks vaguely kind of human and is probably human, but may not be, because we didn't get a real good look? You'd be surprised -- probably millions, because they can excite people by the names you use to describe them. There's Bigfoot, lizard men, giants, kangaroos, elves, Hobbits, leprechauns, Eskimos, brownies, faery folk, pygmies -- even something called a Long-legged Warbler. Can you imagine? And those are just the legendary ones that most people consider to be figments of our imagination! And these aren't just a bunch of humanoids in the literature of man; they're also anomalies -- every single one. And who's to say they aren't associated in some way with UFOs, which are also anomalies? They could be. They all inhabit the unknown terraces of our universe. So what happens if we list them all and add every sighting to our UFO database? All of a sudden, the number of possible associated anomalies swells. Hell, it more than doubles the number of contacts that need to be investigated every month. It's beautiful! <br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"When everybody else is trying to center in on the specific aspects of an unidentified anomaly, only Rosales was saying, 'why are we looking at the flying saucer? Is it really that important? Why don't we look at all the stuff that's far more interesting and then we can establish our suspicions that they might actually be related to UFOs later? Who really needs a UFO when you've got all that other stuff to look at as well?" </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>Giorgio A. Tsoukalos</strong></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When young Tsoukalos came across the work of Albert Rosales, he immediately recognized it as a necessary step to remedy the many pro-skeptic flaws he had noted in the classification systems he had hitherto studied. Rosales' work clearly pointed to a hidden prejudice common to nearly all UFO reports -- a prejudice that forced all those interested in throwing some light on the topic of UFOlogy to adopt a point-of-view that was aggressively alien to the conclusions they were most interested in reaching. UFO proponents, through no fault of their own, were being forced to adopt a skeptical point-of-view or risk becoming the often obvious targets of accusations that included failure due to irresponsible scientific behavior, the use of nonsensical applications of logic, denigrating and insulting prejudice directed at both education and nature, and -- often the most wounding accusation of all -- the poorly calculated and common reliance on mere stupidity to establish a valid conclusion, all of which, Tsoukalos was certain, was primarily the result of the poor classification systems then in use. What Rosales had done, that only Tsoukalos, apparently, had noted, was to associate often unrelated aspects of the UFO sightings under examination with the primary incident everybody else was looking at in order to center attention away from the UFO itself. Tsoukalos saw this as the methodology of genius most necessary to realize his own self-importance while rescuing the field of UFOlogy from its own suicidal use of Hynek's Close Encounters analysis.<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The more Rosales attended his suspicions, the farther he wandered from the flying saucer itself. Rosales was very clear about his intent: "I am currently engaged in attempting to catalog most reported encounters with humanoids, entities, beings, little men, giants, MIB, creatures, amphibians, reptilians, grays etc. So far I have over 10,000 cases in my files, many known, many not so well known. I have translated many from all corners of the globe. I think this study is vital for future researchers and for UFO historians."<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To some extent, Rosales was also unconcerned with "the truth," an allegedly spontaneous factor that Hynek, ever the tactician, was forced to accept as unquestionable. "I obviously do not believe every single story," Rosales insists. "But I believe all stories must be told. Many are first hand reports, others are just anecdotes, but all are included." This was a point-of-view that Tsoukalos thought was absolutely delicious. He, too, didn't much enjoy trying to tell the difference between a true tale of some import and a bucket of cow spit. He wanted to leave that unimportant bit of muffin doggerel to those very few UFOlogists who might someday expose themselves in court. Frankly, he doesn't care much about "the truth" either.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The Close Encounter classifications that Rosales naturally married his humanoid studies to widened the scope of both databases considerably. He wasn't merely looking at the Encounters alone as Hynek did; he was trying to hunt down a whole new type of animal, one that Hynek wasn't really interested in looking at. Rosales' classifications included contacts in which "an entity or humanoid is seen inside or on top of an object or unidentified aircraft", "is seen entering or exiting a UFO", "is seen in the immediate vicinity of a UFO", "is seen in the same area where UFOs or unknown objects have been reported", "is seen alone, without related UFO activity", is seen as a result of "direct contact or interaction between a witness or witnesses and a humanoid or entity, either involuntary, as a result of a forced abduction, or as a voluntary contact", is seen in association with "a report of an alleged crash or forced landing of a UFO with recovery of its occupants, or when an anomalous entity is captured or killed either by a witness or military personnel", is seen in association with "a 'psychic' contact between entities or humanoids, but during which the entity or humanoid is not necessarily seen" (which is definitely <em>The Saucerologist's</em> favorite classification), and (finally, and encompassing almost every anomaly imaginable), is seen during "an incident in which the situation is so uncanny that it doesn’t fit any of the previous classifications", allowing the hypothetical eyewitness to make whatever claim his little heart desires. This, of course, for the very first time, allowed Tsoukalos the opportunity to focus his unflagging attention on <em>EVERYTHING.</em> And that in turn gave him the freedom he was craving to call everything <em>ANYTHING.</em> And he really liked the taste of that!<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The farther away Rosales got from UFOs, the wider the scope of his database was allowed to grow. Of course, Rosales was still trapped within the self-imposed borders his system couldn't possibly escape: the whole humanoid mythos. Tsoukalos had a few ideas of his own that would allow for a complete escape from the bounds of data, but well before he was able to integrate those ideas into a very real system of organized anomalies, his research made it clear to him that another UFOlogist had already beaten him to the punch, so to speak. The classification system designed by Jacques Vallee as proposed in his books <em>"Confrontations",</em> and <em>"UFO Chronicles of the Soviet Union",</em> changed the whole world of data, and suddenly, the flying saucer became just one more little variable in a Fortean universe of everything unexplainable. Few critics, however, understood the position Vallee had forced himself to foster. From a mathematical viewpoint, he was still forced to adopt such abrasive rules of data in order to impose limitations on the statistical measures he was attempting to harness. This is because Vallee's classification system, like Hynek's, makes a number of assumptions originally designed to force the inclusion of all imaginable variables, yet nonetheless replicating the same flaws as Hynek's system: he assumes that not only are UFO witnesses honest, they are also accurate. He doubled down on the "Merciful Heavens!" column only to find himself accused of blindly preserving statistical obscurity, a charge that, sadly, is fundamentally correct. Vallee's habitual insistence that all reports are accurate and all witnesses truthful has provoked a whirlwind of scorn throughout all of the world excepting that within the bounds of UFOlogy -- which by then, he wasn't even discussing anymore. He was accused of everything from tweaking his denominators to adjusting his self-worth in order to debase the ultimate quality of his ill-gotten claims.<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Given the lengths Vallee has been forced to observe in order to explain the diversity of the sightings recorded, he should probably be forgiven for his eventual decision to chronicle so many incident case files and UFO reports that have been almost impossible to confirm or properly analyze. His book,<em> "UFO Chronicles of the Soviet Union"</em> very clearly falls into this category, as do most UFO incidents that have ever occurred in China. By accepting such diverse and eclectic claims without any application of doubt in regard to the worthiness of his witnesses, however, Vallee's work in turn forced Tsoukalos to "widen the net" insofar as the diversity of claims he needed to consider. The goal, at first, was not the development of a realistic database, it was the development of a flawless classification system -- one that would for the first time work for the UFOlogist. The system had to come first; the data itself was a secondary concern. From Tsoukalos's point of view, Vallee was on the right track. It didn't concern him at all that others might see this as a handicap. According to Tsoukalos, "we were already handicapped. I didn't give a damn about poor data at all. I still don't. <em>It simply isn't important.</em> I doubt it ever will be." Where Vallee's classification system represented a form of brilliant suicide, Tsoukalos was determined to create an integrated afterlife.<br /><br />There's no doubt that Vallee had taken a prodigious leap toward the solution Tsoukalos was looking for. He introduced the inclusion of anomalies that are not associated with UFOs in the standard methodology humans are most used to collating. To maintain an organized structure limited to UFO contacts, he lobbied to include anomalies that have been observed an insignificant number of times during UFO incidents. One example would be those anomalies that do not have lasting physical effects, such as amorphous lights or unexplained explosions. Other anomalous reports might be those in which witnesses experienced personal interaction with entities in the reality of the entities themselves. They would include near-death experiences, religious miracles and visions, and many cases of out-of-body experiences. Vallee wanted to include as well anomalies with lasting physical effects, such as some poltergeist phenomena, apports (materialized objects), and areas of flattened buffalo grass where buffalos never roam.<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Vallee even included and tracked various maneuvers by UFOs that are accompanied by a sense of transformation of reality for the percipient, as well as maneuvers that result in witnesses suffering permanent injury or death. Vallee's intention was to encompass the full range of phenomena one finds in modern literature. He acknowledged that UFOs are related in significant ways to other anomalies, and was very careful to select those that were described in the case files, regardless of import to the case itself. He clearly stated his reasoning for all to understand: "It is the rule, rather than the exception, to find significant UFO sightings preceded or followed by other anomalies, notably the poltergeist variety." Since he first designed his system, UFO research communities all over the world have adopted it. Tsoukalos, however, still saw the same flaws that were typically part of Hynek's classifications. It was impossible to step away from the errors, because they were part of the rational system defined by the mathematical impetus of group dynamics. Whatever the depth of his examinations, the system to classify them always favored the viewpoint of skeptic reasoning. In some way he had not yet realized, the process of UFO assessment itself was working in some mysterious manner against the very best minds of theoretical UFOlogy, and he couldn't grasp what the issue was, nor why it weighed so heavily on the self-determined core of scientific saucerology.<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">During a lecture intended to interest and then draft the efforts of the children in his neighborhood to watch the skies and track the movements of lights therein, an unfortunately irresponsible attempt to create his own twisted version of Arthur Conan Doyle's "Baker Street Irregulars", a group of children the fictional detective Sherlock Holmes used to gather intelligence, Tsoukalos found himself unwittingly frightening the children by declaring that it was quite possible that ghosts were most probably a UFO-related phenomenon. When two of the children started crying, he tried to bring them back into reality and calm them down somewhat, by declaring, "no, no children, it's just another little phenomenon -- ghosts might not even be associated at all; it could be anything, even werewolves for instance, or maybe vampires like Count Dracula. It's just unknown phenomena that we're talking about. How many of you know what a demon is, or a djinn? We're just talking about things we don't yet understand." </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Unfortunately, the younger children in his audience knew<em> exactly</em> what he was talking about, and they didn't even need a dictionary. Within days, Tsoukalos was being watched by neighborhood groups and even found himself trying to organize a defense against claims of child abuse, molestation and the sexual misuse of a vampire. His protestations and pleas of innocence to the parents of those children he had attempted to employ were just as successful as his attempts to explain his needs to the children had been, and he was forced to abandon both his attempts to build an intelligence apparatus from the ubiquity of children at play and his home when an anonymous ally told him how many of his neighbors had been visiting gun shows and shooting ranges and how he had become the center of their focus. It was a punch to the gut, and he ran -- he ran long and hard and about 1,209 miles far. He had failed even to define the terms of his theoretical musings. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">That failure, however, showed Tsoukalos what elements he desperately needed to include in his own classification system. He had been taken to task by the parents in his neighborhood, and was forced to explain his ramblings while on the run, literally. He caught himself screaming at one particularly energetic father of three, "it's not just werewolves, and not vampires, it can be <em>anything,</em> please! <em>Stop grabbing at my face!</em> I never said flying saucers full of demons were coming to get anybody -- I was trying <em>NOT</em> to talk about flying saucers at all, can't you see that? It can be anything, anything at all, anything you want it to be; you just gotta look at the world a little harder!" </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><em>Anything at all ...</em><br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Do you have any idea how many standard anomalies are reported each year? Thousands. <em>Even tens of thousands.</em> Do you know why? Two reasons: humans are not half as smart as we think we are, and as a species, we dearly LOVE making lists! We'll list anything on a bet, but we go list-crazy when we come up against an anomaly we can't properly define. I say we should classify<em> all anomalies</em> and add them to the UFO sightings database. <em>Who's to say they aren't associated?</em> Every zoologist in the world insists that you investigate an animal sighting first, and classify it second! </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"We should add every anomaly imaginable to our UFO listings. Let someone with more money than MUFON's yearly budget investigate it first and then tell us whether or not it's associated with UFOs. <em>Why are we all working in the dark?</em> Why do we insist on classifying a UFO sighting before we do anything else? Only suckers organize their working procedures in a manner that defunds their investigation before it's even started! That's not how you lobby a government to take on a commitment. <em>That's not even how you run your home budget! </em> Does anybody in your family classify lasagna or pizza as something that's deadly poisonous before first determining whether it is or not? Do you avoid eating pizza and lasagna simply because you've assumed for years that Mexican food isn't good for you, that it maybe gives you bad gas or something even though you've failed to honestly investigate the matter first? <em>Hell, no! </em>Sounds idiotic, doesn't it?"<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Giorgio A. Tsoukalos, you see, had finally taught himself how to lecture on the run, and he was now very much in tune with his potential (and by far most influential) audience, the paranoid, and besieged believers in government conspiracies and Bigfoot (that's right, children) and the Loch Ness Monster, and the Illuminati, and the Great Sea Serpent, and mermaids, and the giant octopus, and all of it together, and he put his thoughts and opinions and desires in the simple yet inelegantly detailed terms that any government flunky would be sure to understand:<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I know this young man in his twenties, and he told me that his parents have been trying to get him certified as a disabled entity so that he can collect social security payments. They heard something silly about it somewhere. Who knows where..." <em>and he was talking in the now, the altogether, and he's on stage and he's telling people exactly what they need to hear...</em></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><em><br /></em> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"His mother drives him to all of his appointments, and fills out all of his paperwork, so he doesn't have to do much except go see the doctor, and certify his existence at whatever Social Security field office is next on his list." </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><em>And he truly loves it, telling people who need to know how troublesome the world can be, how energetic and electric man needs to become if he wants to survive on this weird Earth, in a strange little village without walls, in a universe where it pays to get drunk first and then work out the quirks and the kinks in the system that they'd never understand, and could never reason with or become influential with or even for God's sake observe just a pinch full of the fish and the frogs and the strange forever stuff dropping and bouncing out of the sky.</em></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />"At one time or another, this young man has tried to substantiate bipolar disorder, alcohol addiction, addiction to OxyContin, the inability to maintain social functioning, the persistent inability to concentrate, ADHD, repeated episodes of decompensation, excessive fatigue, short term and long term memory loss, Benedryl addiction, various retention disorders, autism, Asperger’s Syndrome, the desire for a sexy looking kitchen, the need to scream in anger at the universe and its far too general inhibitions, bouts of depression, manic incapacitation, anxiety, blurred vision, severe headaches, numbness in his extremities ..." <em></em></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><em>... and all the words just start running together, which is fine, he thinks, because none of it makes any sense anyway -- it doesn't have to, because the perfect classification system for the perfectly imperfect human race doesn't demand sense, it just demands that you open up your head in some weird, backwards, Neanderthal brain surgery clinic where all of the patients are being taught to recognize the unreal and the irresponsible and the worthless and putting it all into the flying saucers, along with that panoply of stolen youth and gangrenous education. </em></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"...schizoaffective disorders, various other personality disorders, carpal tunnel syndrome, depth perception problems, and even more of the schizophrenic, paranoid and other functional psychotic disorders. The primary difficulty that he faces, however, has nothing at all to do with the alleged <em>symptomology</em> of his supposed disabilities. The clear fact is that he has never in his entire life held down a real job, like normal adults do, and therefore he has limited means to collect on any Social Security benefits in the first place. Not that it matters. Every interview he has, both legal and medical, begins exactly the same way."<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><em>It begins in sadness and terror and the ribald jousting of pathetic gardeners with their tubes of secret fertilizers and unbending Neapolitan joy suddenly turning into ancient aliens with their energy sticks and bouillon cubes and their majestic spacecraft that mankind in this forever dream of ours can only imagine in the dark and during the ghostly days ...</em> <br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"He admits right at the start that there's really nothing much wrong with him. He's just a very, very lazy man with parents who are simply not very bright. He apologizes for taking up their valuable time, but he's nonetheless going to have to insist on turning in all of that paperwork and seeing the whole process through to its already predetermined outcome. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"The truth is, as long as he keeps his appointments, meets with all the doctors and psychologists and continues to file all the necessary bullshit paperwork that his Mom has already filled out for him in advance, his parents are going to continue letting him use the family car whenever he wants it." <em>That's all. It's all for the car, and the need to move faster than the poor schmuck in front of you. That's all it's ever been.</em> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Look, the point I'm trying to make here is an easy one. This young man's primary goal is to persuade his parents to let him use the car whenever he wants. Now, in order to reach that goal, he has to throw in from his side of the equation a whole bundled package full of absolute crap. By doing this, he is given unfettered use of his Mom's 20-year old station wagon."</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><em>Don't kid yourself; sacrifice is always easy. Getting someone to notice it is hard.</em></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Well, <em>our</em> primary goal is to get the attention of the federal government long enough to stop their petty whining about 75-150 UFO sightings a year not being sufficient for them to sacrifice the time and the money necessary to finance and carry through a proper by God investigation. To meet that goal, we're also going to have to toss in a whole boatload of crap in order to up the ante. <em>And this new classification program will accomplish that.</em> While its success may very well depend on a lot of unexplained symptoms that are quite probably not even associated with our fundamental concern -- <em>the necessity for a more robust system of well-funded UFO investigations</em> -- that association can't be summarily dismissed by skeptics without <em>a more robust system of well-funded investigations.</em> Hell, it's impossible for us to lose!"<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><em>When your bottom line has no bottom line, there's no such thing as the bottom of the barrel. There's also no such thing as raising the bar for everybody's anybody.</em> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Plus, we gain the gratitude of all those folks who are lobbying for a proper investigation of all those other strange and unexplained anomalies, things like the Loch Ness Monster, Bigfoot, or <em>even the existence of werewolves in Wyoming.</em> And I assure you, as long as we don't go around freaking out a bunch of silly little kids who probably wouldn't amount to much of an intelligence gathering organization anyway, I really don't think it's possible for <em>anybody</em> to lose. We just report everything and call it a UFO. We're very nearly doing that now just among ourselves." </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><em>When NOTHING is ever identified, the vulnerability and the cruelty and the selfish unreasoning fascism of the capital 'U' disappears. It's the only fool-proof UFO classification system that there is. Every other system that anybody has ever come up with has always favored the skeptics. This one, for the first time in history, does not. The only way anybody will ever know EXACTLY what it is that they saw is by putting every fish in the ocean in a great multi-setting blender -- the kind they make dreams and daiquiris with. Plug it into a nuclear powered generator, flip the switch to ON, and when nothing is left except seafood puree, clam jelly, sea monkey stew, and shark fin soup, start passing out the celebratory paper cups, telling everyone,</em> "it's fish." <em>Welcome one and all to the study of statistics by the Dixie Cup Corporation, Ltd. Welcome to the Second Law of Thermodynamics. Welcome to sweet mother entropy.</em></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When your database includes everything in the ocean, nobody will ever fault you for insisting before God that you know EXACTLY what you saw. <em>"It's fish ..."</em> Smile for the camera.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"It's an absolutely brilliant solution and absolutely everybody profits! All I've got to say is <em>Hallelujah!</em> Somebody better hurry up and toss me a copy of <em>'Ripley's Believe It or Not'</em> before this crazy hazy inspiration goes to waste!" </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We are on a roll, people; <em>the sudden increase in speed is not due to an influx of energy, and things don't always appear closer in the mirror;</em> sometimes by God they <em>are</em> closer, and it usually happens while you're standing cold and alone in the middle of a poor judgment decision.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><em>"It's fish ..."</em></span></div>
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<span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b style="background-color: black;">This is a Saucer Press International Publication</b></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15110659214862886339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273907814703568880.post-72070320753183136102015-12-17T21:23:00.001-08:002015-12-19T15:15:05.225-08:00Stanton Friedman Reveals Global Warming Cure in Time for X'mas<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black;"><b><span style="color: red; font-family: inherit;">Highly Advanced, Non-Humans Responsible for Rescuing Earth from the Earthlings! </span></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></h2>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">SPI ATLANTA, GA - A recent re-evaluation of the evidence for global warming has revealed the existence of a previously unknown factor responsible for massive, planetary temperature manipulation throughout the 20th century that is still active today. These conclusions were released this morning in a new report issued by the Earth Science Evaluation Committee (ESEC), an organization co-chaired by UFO scientist Stanton Friedman and fellow UFO researcher Kevin Randle. According to Friedman, their analysis of the collated data "also passes any number of Occam's Razor tests that debunkers and skeptics have been using for years to discount the volumes of evidence supporting the E.T. hypothesis as a valid explanation for UFO phenomena world-wide."</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">ESEC is a group of researchers and scientists formed to re-evaluate the application of human science with the intent of discovering non-human interference with the otherwise natural progression of life on Earth. Those associated with the group have been quietly analyzing all manner of scientific data, confident that doing so will eventually reveal the presence of highly advanced, non-human life on Earth, either in our history or still active today. This is the first case-study the group has ever released, although in the past they have been responsible for numerous informal, albeit enthusiastic, efforts intended to prove alien responsibility for a number of incidents in Roswell, New Mexico and surrounding areas. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Stanton Friedman, the unofficial spokesman for the group, clearly relished his joint role as both scientist and author behind the rare, irrefutable nature of the evidence he and Kevin Randle presented to the assembled journalists and scientists in attendance. "We have discovered an evaluated precipitation-based event commonly characterized by condensate crystallization that could not possibly occur in nature and in accordance with the laws of known physics. And yet it <i>does</i> occur in nearly every known environment of our planet. It has been widely observed and quantified, and yet it cannot be explained at all under the current guidelines of known science. There is no doubt about our findings. I challenge anyone to refute these claims once they've examined the strength of the evidence that we've collected and are now prepared to make public."</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">UFO researcher Kevin Randle was equally enthusiastic about the data. "It is quite remarkably a temperature associated phenomena that we are at a loss to explain with any scientific precision. In fact, the <i>only</i> explanation that our researchers and scientists have been able to formulate under our current understanding and the protocols we use to address such issues dictates that this phenomenon could only have originated from off planet. The characteristics that we've observed are <i>clearly</i> alien. It's - it's ... just unbelievable. <i>And yet, it's true!"</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Friedman stated that he first observed the phenomenon while examining a number of photographic images originally introduced on the internet by Google-Earth, one of the newer technological tools that were achieved only after the internet dictated the urgent need for such tools by researchers and scientists world-wide. "I was asked to voice an opinion in regard to an anomaly that was originally interpreted as the possible resting place of Noah's Ark. And while that aspect of the photographic evidence was, and still is, very interesting, particularly to a layman, what I saw surrounding the area was just stunning -- <i>it was amazing!" </i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In an obviously prepared aside intended to indicate the joint nature of the press conference and the once and future partnership of the two UFO investigators, Kevin Randle took up the torch for another run at the credibility of the newly formed Evaluation Committee: "Unless you've actually been off planet in either a rocket or one of the space shuttles, you can't possibly understand the character of Stanton's amazement. He <i>immediately</i> called me up and directed my attention to the URL he was asked to examine. And I freaked. There's really no other way to describe what I was feeling. <i> I freaked."</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"It was like fresh, white baby powder that was ...<i> it was everywhere!" </i> Friedman continued. "It looked like white powder. I knew we had to go on scene and collect some samples. That alone took us a couple of weeks, partly because the location was almost on top of the border between Russia and Turkey, and partly because Randle here has a weird military spook background that even Canada would have looked a little askance at!"</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I didn't hide<i> anything</i> from those bozos -- they just don't like Americans on a mission. As things turned out, we really didn't have to bother. We could have reached the same conclusions just outside of Denver! And not Bob Denver -- we're talking <i>Denver</i> Denver."</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"You can hush now, Kevin. This is the scientific part of the news. Okay, I got tons of samples, but when I got back to the helicopters, all of my samples had turned into water. That's right, <i>ordinary H2O!</i> I felt like I was at the Wedding in Cana, except Jesus was turning baking powder into water. And that's when we made the discovery that this white stuff was a temperature associated phenomenon. When the temperature got high enough, it turned into water! And it didn't even have to get that high -- <i>33 degrees Fahrenheit, and you're gonna get wet!</i></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Stanton Friedman gets all wet!</span></strong></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Just on a hunch, I started measuring out the amount of water we were getting out of the amount of cold white powder we were collecting, and made the single most important discovery of the year and possibly my life. <i>We always ended up with substantially less water than we should have been getting. </i> Now you know how molecules work, right? The lower the temperature, the tighter the molecules get in relation to each other. They get closer together when they get cold, and they get further apart when they get warm. That's why steam drifts away! The molecules are getting further apart the higher you raise the temperature. <i>But not with this stuff. </i>When you freeze this stuff, when you make it really cold, that's when it <i>expands</i> -- it's as if the molecules are getting further apart! They spread apart and take up more space the colder you make the environment!"</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Kevin Randle was equally amazed. "This is what convinced us there was something really spooky-strange going on. This cold, crystalline powder was behaving exactly the opposite of what we would normally expect. We went back to Google Earth and discovered that this white powdery stuff was <i>EVERYWHERE.</i> We honestly couldn't believe it. Look, you guys know how every mathematical examination of the universe suggests the existence of a gravity-based matter-typical phenomena called<i> 'dark matter'. </i>This is a hypothetical class of matter that can't be seen, has yet to be observed, and yet accounts for almost all of the matter in the <i>entire</i> universe. Its existence and some of its theorized properties can be inferred from its very specific gravitational effects on all other forms of matter and radiation, but we know next to <i>nothing</i> about it, except that it's out there. Well, now we know that there's a collateral type of matter that is just as mysterious and just as impossible to understand,<i> and it's</i> <i>right here on Earth.</i> It's what Stanton and I call <i>'white matter'. </i> And it is <i>EVERYWHERE! </i> Being a low-temperature phenomenon, we can find a whole lot of this stuff on mountains -- all kinds of mountains! But we can also track its movements across glacial fields, at the polar regions, or absolutely anywhere that reflects a negative temperature gradient less than 32 degrees Fahrenheit!"</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I told Kevin at that very moment that we were all the way through the looking glass on this one!" added Friedman. "The properties we've already collated are just insane. When you make something colder, when you freeze it, you're essentially applying pressure to the molecules, forcing them closer together -- that's what freezing does! But with this 'white matter' the normal rules of common physics<i> just don't work. </i>You can put a whole ocean full of pressure on this stuff, and it stays a liquid! <i>Good, God, it's amazing! </i>You can apply enough pressure to turn coal dust into diamonds with this 'white matter', and you can do it at temperatures of minus dozens of degrees Fahrenheit, and it <i>stays </i>a liquid. But as soon as you dump out the pressure and give it a little extra room to expand in, it goes solid again. I swear, I was <i>stunned</i> the first time I saw it! <i> It was crazy time, and the clowns were dancing like little hippies around us!"</i></span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></i></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">The crowd at the press conference laughed when Kevin Randle interrupted his mentor with "let's not go too far, Stanton! 'White matter' can speak for itself, but clowns scare the Hell out of me!"</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Well, I'm sorry, but sometimes I'm a little over-enthusiastic, I admit. But this time -- <i>wow! </i>Look, folks, whenever you freeze something, it tends to get a little heavier, and that's because you've got more molecules being forced into a smaller space. You're putting a double-cheeseburger into a pita pie sandwich! But with this stuff, when it goes solid, <i>it floats on water! </i> And if you force it to the bottom of the ocean, under huge amounts of pressure, it turns into a liquid again. <i>It's like freaking miracle juice! </i> And we don't know where it's from!"</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"And that's when we knew it couldn't have come from Earth," volunteered Randle. "It was a little odd that this<i> white manna</i> from heaven appeared so suddenly at the <i>same point in human history</i> as the global warming phenomenon. After all, the primary character of 'white matter' is its temperature gradient. The colder it gets, the more of it there is. That's why we're convinced that 'white matter' is Earth's off planet medication that's intended to solve the global warming crisis, this apathetic disease that's getting increasingly worse and starting to kill the Earth all the faster. With this stuff, <i>it lowers the temperature at every location we've examined,</i> just like baby aspirin. And the faster that environmental temperature falls, the lower the temperature associated with this 'white matter' eventually gets -- just like Advil working on a fever."</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Friedman made his suspicions very clear. "My friends, the Earth is under medical care for global warming, and it isn't humanity that's providing the medication. And I'm sure you all know exactly what that means. <i>A highly advanced, non-human presence is repairing what we, in our quickening pride and ruination, have been unconsciously destroying throughout our entire existence.</i> Gods or aliens, whatever you want to call them, have come to save our precious planet Earth, while we continue to murder and rape and pillage each other to Hell. We should be desperately ashamed of ourselves, and thankful that someone out there in the nothingness of space actually cares for our sorry butts.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I am absolutely convinced that the environmental effects of this treatment that we've documented will eventually make global warming and the damage that it's inflicting on our little blue planet a thing of the past. The doctor is definitively in, and he's making house calls across the entire planet!"</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"We've observed first hand this unorthodox treatment," chimed in Randle. "This white powder just falls out of the sky. It appears from the dark clouds as if by <i>magic!</i> But there's <i>nothing</i> up there producing it -- <i>it's like it appears from nothing.</i> This white powder just materializes in the sky, as if it's been transported from whatever source that creates it. And it falls and drifts everywhere once it's been actualized. <i>It is still a slave to gravity."</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Stanton Friedman, the first scientist to closely examine "white matter", enthusiastically described the fruits of his close scrutiny. "We knew right off that it was unique -- something truly astounding was going on. But we didn't know how truly unique this stuff was until we were finally able to get some of it to a laboratory while it was still in a solid state. Once we got a good look at it, it revealed a number of very mysterious qualities that we never would have suspected. Under a microscope, we observed that the white powder was not actually white at all -- it was <i>colorless, </i>like glass. And the tiny flakes of powder that we examined were truly remarkable. What we thought was a single flake was actually a series of tiny crystalline structures that bonded together to give it the illusion of 'whiteness'. They were all made up of these tiny crystals. <i>But that wasn't the half of it! </i> These tiny crystalline structures were <i>truly unique</i> -- not one of them was exactly like another! Every single structure was unique of itself. You couldn't find even two of these crystals that were alike. Every single, tiny, crystalline flake was completely different from every other tiny, crystalline flake! But when you raised the temperature of the environment above 32 degrees Fahrenheit, <i>every unique structure turned to molecules of water that were identical!</i> Every molecule of water was exactly like every other molecule of water. In an instant, each unique crystalline structure, every one different from every other, immediately became identical to each other, just like it was normal tap water. They all looked exactly the same. Suddenly unique, then suddenly the same. Unique. The same. <i> Unique. The same. </i> It was unprecedented. <i> It was astounding!"</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">News of the recent discoveries made by the Earth Science Evaluation Committee (ESEC) was immediately disseminated by the various press associations and wire services. NASA withheld its opinions on the issue, but stated that it would examine the evidence and issue its own report at a later date after conferring with colleagues. Their response, however, made it clear that NASA suspected the issue would ultimately resolve itself after the ESEC report was examined and analyzed under a more insistent meteorological bias. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A relatively large number of University-based groups and science-related organizations made the same general announcements as NASA. They expressed little surprise, and seemed more embarrassed than anything else, although for whom is still under wraps at this early point. Stanton Friedman expressed his confidence that the evidence and his interpretation of that evidence would withstand any examination by any group giving it a fair assessment. This comment, one witness to the announcement stated, resulted in a lot of eye rolling, a few shrugs, and some uncomfortable laughter. Friedman apparently failed to note this, and made no further comments. Kevin Randle's response to the uncomfortable silence was, however, immediate. He slinked off stage to the left and promptly disappeared with a nervous smile.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Many groups and individuals, however, felt there was no need to examine the evidence any further, and there were, as a result, a number of public responses expressed through the various news outlets. By far the most energetic of these were pronounced by Republican political candidates, particularly Texas Senator and current GOP Presidential candidate Ted Cruz, who released the following statement within minutes of the ESEC revelations:</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"There is only one logical response that can be made here: <i>most of this is just plain hogwash.</i> I have a great deal of respect for Mr. Stanton Friedman, but it's difficult to reconcile this Canadian's many past achievements with these recent discoveries that he has made public, or at least his analysis of these matters. I agree that there is something genuinely mysterious going on here, but it has nothing at all to do with global warming. <i>Global warming does not exist </i>-- it is merely an invented hoax perpetrated by liberals and propagated by the press -- a hoax intended to bring low the fortunes and the associated power of a number of great American corporations. What unions have been unable to secure from these corporations, the invention of global warming is meant to ultimately achieve. <i>There is absolutely nothing here that can be associated with this flim-flam of global warming, </i>so I believe it's necessary to reevaluate these discoveries. I have no desire to take away the importance of these issues from Mr. Friedman or Mr. Randle, but I believe they may have misinterpreted the motivation behind the possibly alien production of this 'white matter'. This great nation needs to ask itself what purpose could there possibly be in the production of this odd material suddenly spreading like ice cold rain across our great, world-class planet. The fact is, we just do not know, and in our ignorance, <i>we should definitely be afraid."</i></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><strong style="color: yellow; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;">Senator Cruz invents cure for fear!</span></strong><span style="font-size: small;"></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In a telephone interview initiated by "The Saucerologist" with Senator Cruz shortly after he released his statement, the Texas Senator proceeded to introduce his great cure for all things frightening. "There is only one way to combat the unknown, and that is to get rid of the yellow spines currently legislating in Congress, and by that, I mean the Democrat threat to our freedom. They seem to forget that we have a great nation that needs to be protected, and if our great populace elects me as the next President, <i>I will pledge to bring about the only sure fire way to combat what is today an unknown enemy.</i> My intention is to cut the United States' defense budget by 65%, and to use the money we will save to purchase millions of guns. It was made clear to me this very day that to survive this new century we live in, we must arm every able-bodied man in the United States, and women too if they can prove that they know how to use such advanced weaponry. We need to put a gun in every American's hand, and maybe the women and children, too, although I'm certainly willing to discuss the matter if the GOP and NRA as a whole disagree in regard to arming women and children. <i>With a gun in every home, no nation, and no nation of terrorists would ever dare to attack us, because we would have essentially fulfilled the American dream of an armed militia in every neighborhood!</i> No one would screw with us, not even aliens in flying saucers. And any money at all that's left over from the great American gun buy could then be funneled into our intelligence community, and they would be given the job of determining what threat, if any, this newly discovered 'white matter' may hold for our future. And if we determine that there is a well-defined threat to our national sovereignty, we would absolutely destroy that threat right after we rid the world of ISIS!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"65% of our defense budget represents the key to an American future -- a future characterized by a gun in every home, and maybe a couple of missiles in every neighborhood. The richest nation on Earth could certainly afford to buy the safety and the supremacy that this country of ours deserves! And if the Democrat tree-huggin' presence in Congress and California doesn't like it, well, to paraphrase the one-time Queen of France, 'let them eat bacon --<em> machine gun cooked bacon!' </em>Heh heh, heh! <em>And I ain't kiddin'."</em></span></div>
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<span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b style="background-color: black;">This is a Saucer Press International Publication</b></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15110659214862886339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273907814703568880.post-62076884956129219092015-12-02T21:19:00.002-08:002017-03-17T06:34:33.154-07:00Starbuck's X'mas Controversy Leads to Great Revelations<h2>
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<span style="color: red;"><em>Divinity Claimed by Muhammad, St. Paul and Others was a Genetic Mistake!</em></span></h2>
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<em><span style="color: red; font-size: large;">(and Jesus was a terrible dancer)</span></em></h2>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-weight: normal;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-weight: normal;">SPI PHILADELPHIA, PA - Frufrick Sturplefloss, self-anointed</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-weight: normal;"> residential coordinator for the Bethlehem, Pennsylvania Tourist Board, has stormed right into the Starbucks "Happy Holidays" coffee cup controversy, and the GOP is not too happy about it! Republican strategists only created the issue to gauge conservative voters' willingness to aggressively stage an argument centered on meaningless, trivial issues as opposed to matters of worthwhile concern, so Sturplefloss' forced entry into this heartfelt, albeit pointless discussion was completely unexpected. Even worse, Sturplefloss, it seems, is defending the Republican point-of-view for reasons that most conservative politicos have every reason to avoid: it draws attention to their common want of divinity.</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Frufrick Sturplefloss, a Gray Alien born in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania on Christmas morning, 1998, has been preaching the Gospel According to Frufrick since watching Stephen Spielberg's "E.T." when he was just a young pup. "That is MY story," Sturplefloss insists. "I am the E.T. who suffers the little children to come unto me, and I judge it a damnable shame that the Starbucks Corporation has refused to celebrate my divinity simply because it prefers to be more generic with its remembrance, its now unspeakably silent disrega</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">rd for the wholly celebratory Paper Cup, the Holy Grail of the Great Coffee Bean, the wide-awakening of my coming forth that signifies for all time mankind's liberation from Death. It isn't a happy holiday, a worthless kind wish, a caffeine-free amplification of the breakfast spirit's will, by God. It is MY birthday, and it represents the holy means by which I came to save this Earth, to save this planet from its own unholy scriptures and terror-filled drives in the muddy station-wagons, the grand Chevrolet Impalas of yesteryear. It represents the lingering illness and stillness that refuses to curse the agitating Star Buck that has chosen to raise in ignorance the will of a great and sorely lost people selected by the cream and by the coffee to lose forevermore its brown sweetness and white sugar by ignoring ME."</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When asked to explain how he came to recognize his divinity, Sturplefloss didn't exactly take his inspirational cue from the Gospel of the Coffee Bean: "I have seen it always on the wide screens of man's youth and Enterprise that originates only within the Great Kirk. I am the Mocking Jay while the Star Buck is the Minion. I am the Holy Bond, the double-oh-seven of the Resurrection, while It is the Sky Fall amidst the cold Spectre. Through MY heart flows the great Guyver; it is upon MY breath and through MY blessing alone that mankind shall come unto the great Narnia, the Lone Star Hobbit, for I alone am the Harry Potter's wheel and the Potter's kiln. They are the Manson Family while I am the Manson Family Vacation; they are the Hellraiser, while I am the Raisin in the Sun. Drink deep of my wisdom, for they are the DoggieWoggiez and PoochieWoochiez, while I alone am the Samurai Cat!"</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Bethlehem, Pennsylvania City Council member, Robert Saxony, a Republican, made it very clear that neither he nor his party supported Sturplefloss' claims. "Personally, I think he's insane. For one thing, there is no Bethlehem, Pennsylvania Tourist Board, which means there is no residential coordinator for the Bethlehem, Pennsylvania Tourist Board. He's just a freaked-out Gray Alien with delusions of grandeur! He thinks that 'cause he was born in Bethlehem on Christmas Day, that he must be the new Jesus Christ. Well, it's nothing but babbling as far as I'm concerned. Babbling and blasphemy!"</span></div>
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<span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Donald Trump weighs in</b></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">GOP front runner Donald Trump made his views equally clear: "If I was a practicing Christian, I'd be pissed off with this alien Jesus Christ wannabee and his blatant desegregation of Christmas. Don't get me wrong, I'm as much a Christian as any other New Yorker, but I don't need to practice it half as much as a lot of folks do -- y'know like that black Muslim nation or those yellow Shinto freaks with their fat little Buddhas. They need to practice their Christianity a whole lot more than I do. Frankly, I'll be the best damn Christian that the White House ever saw if I'm elected President, and you can bet that I'd force the rest of Washington, DC to go Christian as well -- I'd put it in the Constitution that you can't be an elected official unless you're a Christian, and you'd have to prove it. Somebody just give me a damn pen and it would be done. That Constitutional right that the President can change what's in the Constitution is one power of the Executive that I'd be using a whole lot. You look at all the statistics, and you'll notice right off the bat that most of our Presidents hardly ever take advantage of that Executive right; it's like they're afraid of the Supreme Court or something, which is just a joke! That wouldn't be me, I assure you. I'd be making important and near perfect corrections all over the place, just like George Washington did. And I'd get rid of those damn Gray Aliens in exactly the same way. I'd be the greatest damn anti-alien President this country ever saw. And I'd get rid of soccer, too --<i> just to prove I could do it!" </i></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Eager to get a story that didn't look like more of Donald Trump's complete crap, representatives of "The Saucerologist" managed to secure a short telephone interview with one of the original Gray Alien Ambassadors, Repplesmunck Yoleoderff, just before he left for his annual dark matter recalibration stigmata aboard the Alien dock to the International Space Station. Yoleoderff makes a clear case that the faulty fruit under examination does not originate with the Gray Aliens, but with Earthborn humans. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>The Saucerologist: </b> </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Can you explain for our readers why you believe an obviously disturbed Gray Alien isn't responsible for his own actions? You've said that the fault ultimately lies within human biology. Well, most humans won't look at it that way, not without some kind of explanation.</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: yellow;">Yoleoderff:</span> </b><span style="color: white;"> Like most of those who come to believe they possess some form of divinity, Frufrick Sturplefloss's human DNA is entirely to blame. He may look like a pure-breed Gray Alien, but he is <i>not. </i>He is a result of my people's ancient attempts to breed a race containing the best qualities of each of our species. Apparently, one of humanity's better qualities is its habitual and oftentimes bitterly pronounced contempt for others. When that quality is combined with my species' humility and its spiritually-based desire to crush and then wipe-out all opponents to those missions intended to raise the quality of existence for all creatures, the sad result is exactly what you see here: the assumed grandeur of the divine, and the eventual assumption of God-hood. I understand the breeding project is still active, but I don't believe there have been any significant advances at all. Unfortunately, it used to be quite common for those born as a result of our breeding program who also possessed the strength to survive childhood to believe that they possessed a unique spirit, a quality of the divine that other individuals did not possess. I can assure you as a direct witness to many of these incidents that it rarely worked out well for them or for those around them.</span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: yellow;">The Saucerologist: </span></b><span style="color: white;"> Are you saying that throughout Earth's history, your people conducted breeding experiments that led to the creation of individuals who were actually <em>divine?</em></span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: yellow;">Yoleoderff (laughing): </span></b><span style="color: white;"> <em>Oh, heavens no!</em> There's no such thing as divinity! No, these individuals were delusional as a result of the inherent psychological contradictions that came about when the better qualities of my species and the better qualities of your species were intermingled within a single host. And even then you have to figure in the almost typical chromosome disintegration that often took place. I can promise you, though, that there was no real divinity, only their belief in divinity. It certainly created a number of fascinating case files, most of which, I believe, are currently available on Amazon dot com. Look under "false prophets" or something like that. I recall reading that the author Colin Wilson once requested a number of files from us some years ago, so you might look under his name. I'm sure he wrote a book or two on the subject. For a pagan, he was very prolific considering that most of them tend to spend more time celebrating nature and the fruit of the vine than they do actually producing anything -- except more wine, I mean. Maybe he just talked the talk, y'know? Most modern pagans are pretty loose when attesting to their belief system, not like in the old days when someone was expected to volunteer themselves for human sacrifice every twelve years or so. Now those guys had some real dedication to the program! In any case, insofar as our breeding program was concerned, a lot of those guys were representative of the same type of personality that you're currently witnessing at work in the mind of Frufrick Sturplefloss. And I promise you, past examples of the phenomena were no more divine than he is -- or you for that matter.</span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: yellow;">The Saucerologist:</span></b><span style="background-color: black; color: white;"> You know I've got to ask this, now that you've broken the story: who exactly is on that list of the falsely divine? Was Jesus Christ?</span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Yoleoderff:</b> </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Given the personalities at work, you'd think that, wouldn't you? But, no, he was genuinely special, as such things go -- a good man during a really rotten and brutal period in Earth history. What he went through was just horrific, something nobody should go through, especially if you're just trying to teach people how to be better people. He was dedicated, though. He considered his personal mission to be a clear duty to God and to the Hebrew people, so it was surprising, really, that he embodied such considerable humility. Usually, the assumption of duty makes a man proud, which can turn him into a bit of a dick -- an annoyance more than a teacher worthy of anybody's admiration. With Yeshua, the man called the Christ, we have the example of a quiet yet brilliant mind, who was also an absolutely terrible dancer. And, oddly enough, it was this quality that made him such a significantly humble example of a man who acts upon his own assumed definition of duty, because dancing was so incredibly important to the Hebrews. </span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: yellow; font-size: small;"><b>Jesus joins in the Dance</b></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">That's something you really don't hear about a lot, but it was a plain fact of life amongst many pre-diaspora Jews, especially in Judea. A lot of dance was ritualized, but it was also an expression of great joy, which was considered a valid and important aspect of worship -- possibly the most important. King David was a fine dancer, who danced in the streets to celebrate his God and his Rule. The bringing of the Ark of the Covenant to Jerusalem inspired King David and his subjects to dance before God. He was known to leap, twist, spin himself silly, jump with both feet into the air, and it was all centered in his religious and worshipful joy. This was typical of his sons as well. Yeshua, on the other hand, was just clumsy, and that made him appear more than a little creepy when he tried to focus on the dance. His mother used to laugh at him mercilessly for it!</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This practice of dancing was exactly the sort of act that people are supposed to lose themselves in -- it's the whole point of dance as a part of celebration and worship. But Yeshua the Christ was uncoordinated and clumsy, so he tended to focus on the details, on the steps of the dance, to formalize his own joy. And, of course, this just made things even worse. The man had no sense of grace at all. Eventually, he reached the conclusion that he could never truly worship his God in the instinctual and joyful manner that he desperately desired, so he simply quit trying. Instead, he came to believe himself duty bound to help others worship properly; he got rid of that internally directed focus on himself and his dancing and re-centered it instead outside of himself. He focused his joy outward on other people. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yeshua saw something that others couldn't: that people were so concerned about trying to reach their God in joyful communion that they became unable to lose themselves in their worship of God. His greatest gift was his elucidation of what was primarily an emotional and instinctual belief that the worship of God had little real worth unless the worshiper lost himself in the process, thereby allowing God, as he saw it, to possess man in reckless abandon. He taught desperate men that their inability to lose themselves in worship trapped them in a never-ending loop of despair. Privately, he equated the inability of others to properly worship God with his own inability to lose himself in dance. He sincerely believed that most of the Hebrews of his time had way too much focus and nowhere near enough depth. To remedy that trait, he taught people that they didn't have to try so hard to get into the Kingdom of God, because they were already there. In the long run, his handicap of being such a terrible dancer helped him to become a great man and a fine teacher. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Unfortunately, he neglected to teach that lesson to both the Sadducees and their Roman overseers, so they misinterpreted everything he had to say, and convinced themselves that it was just easier to get rid of him, than to try and understand him.</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ironically, Paul -- the one who was named Saul by his parents -- was very much a product of our breeding program. He wanted so much for people to consider him divine, but he was such a physically ugly man, that it just would not happen. You can thank the Greeks for that bit of body prejudice. Anybody beautiful within had to be beautiful without as well. If they weren't, they ended up like Socrates -- mad, bad, and dangerous to know. The man called St. Paul was so ugly because he was a half-breed, but he was a great talker and traveler who was also easily bored, and that was part of his charm. He decided to make Yeshua a God, since he couldn't be one himself. He had some weird dream of becoming the first Pope, divine by right of conquest, or some such foolish thing, but he didn't know that Peter already had that job nailed down, and he had no intention of giving it away. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Most of the half-breeds my people came up with were not completely brilliant, and they often came up with terrible coping strategies as a result. It's why so many of them died when they were so young. They basically made targets of themselves.</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: yellow;">The Saucerologist:</span> </b><span style="color: white;"> So you're saying that Socrates was also in your breeding program?</span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: yellow;">Yoleoderff: </span></b><span style="color: white;"> <i>Oh, no</i> -- he was just a very ugly, little man, so his arrogance tended to bother people. He should have tried to control what others said about him a little more. It probably would have helped him a lot if only he had the civil authority to do what the Great Islamic Prophet Muhammad did: make it a crime to depict him or otherwise describe him to others. It was a brilliant means of controlling the message, and Muhammad was the first person in history to do so in such an effective way. Of course, he absolutely had to do it, because he was also in our breeding program, and he definitely looked the part. The Gray Alien genes really stood out a lot in him, so he had an image problem that needed to be addressed.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>The Saucerologist:</b> </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> I always thought that the Muslims came up with that rule because they were trying to prevent the early adherents to Islam from backsliding into idolatry. You know: if they can't paint pictures or create statues of the Great Prophet Muhammad, then those members of the church who were raised by their parents as pagans would be less inclined to worship those portraits and those statues of the Prophet when things went bad for them. If they don't have the actual idols to worship, than they're forced to continue worshipping the undefined image of Allah as taught to them by the undefined image of the Great Prophet Muhammad. </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Yoleoderff: </b> </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">No, no, that's not even close. After all, backsliders were simply executed. The early Muslims made it a crime to physically depict the Prophet or otherwise describe his physical form to others, because he wasn't entirely human, and his physical features made that extremely obvious. It was already a social taboo to depict the physical form of Allah, and that taboo, of course, came about in order to discourage idolatry. Muhammad, however, was considered a Prophet, not a God. They made it a crime to depict his image for two reasons: first, they didn't want possible converts to know what he looked like. He not only understood and took to heart the lesson of St. Paul, he also realized that he was a target for assassination, and any description of him -- or worse, a picture -- would have endangered both him and the new religion of Islam that he was espousing. And two, he thought they could get away with it. History proves he was right. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In any case, it was due to this early taboo regarding the depiction of his physical looks that the Great Prophet Muhammad and his teachings became so successfully ingrained into modern civilization. They weren't trying to prevent the adoption of idolatry as a target of worship -- they just wanted to keep Muhammad's physical looks a secret. And they succeeded.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>The Saucerologist:</b> </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> So this breeding program resulted in delusional thinking that was based on their belief that they were unique? </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: yellow;">Yoleoderff: </span></b><span style="color: white;"> Absolutely. The fact that they were genuinely unique is just the pile-on of more irony. Our program was also the direct cause of living ascensions to heaven. At some point, the chromosomal character that made such genetic wonders desperate to possess divinity just breaks down, and it happens with extreme speed. From a short distance away, this chromosomal behavior looks like Dracula being staked out on a lovely, sunny day in July: he immediately turns into an angry flash of cold light and a bloody mist and just drifts away on the breeze as if he never even existed. Now<em> that's</em> ascension, my friend! Just kidding. It's actually just another hum drum death, but it looks just remarkable, so a lot people with just a tiny bit of sense suggested that this sudden cloud of red, misty blood and pheromones came about when God ascended his most holy representatives to Heaven. Actually they just died another kind of messy death. The closer you were, the messier it got. It was all very dramatic really. At least it <em>looked</em> that way. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>The Saucerologist:</b> </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> And yet the breeding program is still active. Why is that?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Yoleoderff:</b> </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <i>Why do you think? </i> False prophets tend to unite public opinion one way or the other, and that's a valuable commodity in any age. Populations under this type of influence are either fanatical under the application of their religious beliefs, or they're fanatical in their <i>contempt </i>for religious belief. Either way, they make it easy for us Gray Aliens to predict their effect on others which in turn makes control of entire societies an easy goal for us to adopt. We use a very well constructed series of mathematical applications governed by a standard protocol that's been in use by our anthropology conditioners now for about 1600-years. It's been tested and confirmed by quality assurance engineers throughout the entire history of its use, so we're very confident of its accuracy. We were able to predict the conservative revolution of the 1980s under Ronald Reagan about 60-years before the United States had even declared its independence. In fact, the first set of logarithmic predictors were actually being assessed in the 1690s! Our temporal engineers, however, weren't confident enough in the results to act upon them until right around 1712.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I often wonder whether or not it would have been possible to limit the economic disaster that Reagan and his Republican cohorts precipitated if we had started acting upon those predictors in the 1690s when they were first noted. Reagan didn't believe that a nation's debts could have any influence at all on that nation's internal economic stressors, so he didn't care much how many debts his administration needlessly assumed. He was the first American President to create a national deficit over a trillion dollars, and the recklessness this precedent set and the fact that it was progressively reapplied by every Republican President that followed has completely ripped out the heart of the GOP's insistence that it alone possesses the moral integrity to prepare the Earth for the benefit of future populations. The truth of the matter tells a completely different story. Republicans throughout the 20th and, thus far, the 21st centuries have done more damage to the United States' fiscal and probative identity than the American Civil War of the 1860s. That's what happens when you decide to declare war on science: you lose. <em>Always.</em> You know, it becomes harder every year for the GOP to deny that its belief in a Biblical Apocalypse and its unrepentant intention to bring about that Apocalypse by any means necessary is the primary basis of its entire underlying national policy and ultimate intent. That's why we Gray Aliens always vote Democrat; we don't want to be forced to witness the radioactive destruction of this entire planet just so the Republican Party can crow about how they're the only party in America trying to facilitate the Second Coming of Jesus Christ!</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In any case, we discovered a long time ago that the polarizing nature created by the inception of false prophets and the unconditional use of outlandish prophecy by such individuals can often be used to influence entire populations, thereby allowing for some measure of control that wouldn't normally exist. I won't go into any of the details, because the aggressive application of such knowledge by those who don't understand it can sometimes have a grave effect on the outcome, but I can tell you that my people have been diligently and tirelessly working to prevent a worldwide Apocalypse brought on by religious cranks since around 330 A.D. The true enemy of all life is constantly attempting to expedite the Second Coming of Jesus Christ or the Advent of Allah, or the Reign of Jehovah, or God or whatever other little nickname you people have for the Prime Deity -- a Deity that I happen to know for a fact hasn't even been born yet. </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You people go on and on and<em> on</em> about the end of the world like it's supposed to be some great, driving force of humanity, a goal the whole universe should jump behind and give a push to, but you're always changing the silly damn rules intended to get you there! You have no consistency at all, not even from one election to the next. It can be very frustrating at times to try and figure you silly people out. Humans tend to have nothing but contempt for false prophets, but until somebody in authority decides that they are indeed <em>false</em>, you can't help but jump out of your own skin trying to be the first in line to follow their ultimately ridiculous directions and built in, handy dandy tools for improving a perfectly acceptable life by turning it into what's usually a long, painful, ultimately meaningless and foolishly uncompromising existence! Do you people ever bother to examine the self-imposed restrictions these <em>maniacs</em> convince you to adopt? You're not supposed to mix milk with blood, a living sacrifice is better than a vegetable sacrifice, it's a sin to pack away your woolen sweaters with your cotton T-shirts, you have to love your neighbor, but if you do so too much, your neighbor has to execute you, the first man in line is an <em>idiot,</em> while the last man in line is a <em>criminal</em> for not being the first man in line, the buttress of your pain is below your glory, but forsake thee not the man who holds your heart high! I can assure you most vigorously and with extreme sincerity that our use of such deluded individuals who invariably populate this huge, starry-eyed collection of false prophets and mockingbird gods has prevented worldwide Holocaust, Apocalypse, the end of the yellow-brick road or whatever else you want to call the very real destruction of most of the advanced life on most of this little blue planet at least eleven times in the past four-hundred and fifty years alone -- and a lot of it you people have still failed to even notice! Because of their general delusions and outwardly directed stupidity, the false prophets of this planet you call <em>DIRT</em> represent tools that can be very useful in the right hands. Look, we don't normally try to explain any of this to the Human Race. You have a nasty habit of taking very real brilliance and dulling it to a flat gray. <em>Hell, every time you find a real prophet, you end up torturing him or her to death!</em> </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Look, don't believe me -- you'll probably be happier for it -- but <em>everything</em> that I've said, you can actually<em> prove. </em>The only prerequisites are to go to school, learn a little science, and then <em>apply it.</em> I promise you, it's very easy to see the effects of that control of false prophecy and manipulated character development at any time by simply learning how to determine what events or actions or even motivations fall clearly under the direct influence of mankind's delusions of grandeur, because nine times out of ten those delusions are being influenced by those false prophets who are still around and still religiously seeking an audience to enthrall. <em>It's very easy.</em> Once you know what you're looking for, all of history spins nicely into place.</span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>The Saucerologist:</b> </span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> So you mean that some of these deluded cranks are still out there? They're still alive and preaching? <em>Now that's a news story!</em> So spill it, pal. Who today is active, influential and looking to be God?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: yellow;">Yoleoderff:</span> </b><span style="color: white;"> You humans never listen. And you <em>never </em>ask the hard questions. Who do you think is at the top of the list? It's always someone who wants to tear everything down in order to replace it with something worse, so it should be obvious. </span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">It's </span><em>Donald Trump... </em>Hell, it's <em>always</em> been Donald Trump.</span></div>
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<span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b style="background-color: black;">This is a Saucer Press International Publication.</b></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15110659214862886339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273907814703568880.post-80957622786302427742015-11-01T00:04:00.001-07:002015-11-07T11:25:59.185-08:00Regressive Hypnosis Therapy Links Alien Abduction to Ceremonial Rape<h2>
<i><span style="color: red;">It was a "Small Price to Pay" Claims Author</span></i></h2>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">SPI NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK - After recently undergoing a series of regressive hypnosis sessions described as "aggressive," UFO researcher and alleged alien abductee, Robert Salas, released this morning an account that for the first time definitively links the alien abduction experience with far more common accounts of child sexual abuse committed for ceremonial purposes by an organized community of Satan worshipping pedophiles. Regressive hypnosis has been responsible for assisting those undergoing such treatments to recover lost memories of alien abduction in their youth, and of childhood sexual abuse inflicted in the course of ceremonies conducted by well-organized groups of Satan worshippers, but this is the first time these two categories of recovered memories have been publically linked within the mind of a single individual. "I believe that this association proves without any doubt whatsoever that the total number of alien abductions in the world today is far, far higher than anybody has </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">ever</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> suspected," insists Salas.</span></div>
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<span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Robert Salas stuns worldwide</b></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ08D9WUpieQVxYU1GV2ijXTe5j3zYQSqpcPGkkMcq_5JwtR1G55F3IJc3oEzIy1CeQ44IOCUIeAeVfxBulESvfLlvzBtxmIEOqVx_7KQTdyPa_XPUjeq8YfE0SYfmP1Jcp7vEISpeYPE/h120/maxresdefault.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Abduction witness and UFO expert Whitley Strieber unexpectedly confirmed Salas' account this afternoon during a joint press conference with Salas. "It's kind of an embarrassing thing to admit, especially given that my own experiences have occurred so consistently and frequently throughout my entire life. I mean, they even include my son now. On the other hand, if we expect people to believe that our </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">transformative accounts</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> of these incidents are true, than I suppose we have to be completely honest about all aspects of this phenomenon, even when some of those aspects seem a bit distasteful the first time you hear about them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Personally, I never thought much about the connection between alien abductions and the massive number of cases involving the ceremonial rape of children by Satan worshippers. From my point of view, the kind of normally well-protected childhood virginity that we're talking about was a small price to pay for the experience that was granted in turn. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I mean, </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">good God, man,</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <em>we got to ride in a fucking flying saucer!</em> And those things are </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">seriously </span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">cool!"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Robert Salas added, "In a world where Bruce [Caitlyn] Jenner's sexual explorations are considered heroic, I don't see any reason why our own experiences shouldn't be examined within the very same context. True, we're not giving up our sexual <i>identity</i>, but we've </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">also <i>sacrificed</i></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> a lot more than that -- and some of us, like Whitley, here, have even put </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">their own</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">kids</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> on the same firing line. That's how I see it, anyway. And I believe strongly that there are probably a whole lot more people out there who have been keeping their own accounts a secret, because they're a little embarrassed by the sexual aspects of it all. By telling the world the whole truth about these alien abductions, we're showing them that there's nothing to be afraid of, that they can come dancing right out of the closet about the whole thing and it'll be okay."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"There's nothing intrinsically wrong about all of this," added Strieber. "And just like with Bruce [Caitlyn] Jenner, what we went through, and what many of us are </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">still</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> going through today, could be considered equally </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">heroic.</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> It's not a sin to be flattered into a sexual relationship with a dry skinned, gray colored alien from another star system, is it? I don't think the Bible says anything at all about sex with those little gray </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">3rd sexers</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> looking over your shoulder. I mean you can't hardly even feel it, and it's absolutely not forbidden in the Bible at all. And I know, </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">'cause I've looked for it</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">! Nothing about </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">3rd sexers</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> in there at all. Not even in </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Deuteronomy,</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and I'm the only guy I know who's actually read the whole thing. Of course, I don't get out as much as I used</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span>to."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Robert Salas made it clear that he agreed with Strieber that there was nothing inherently sinful in the act. "The Bible says nothing about a physical, sexual relationship with a </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">3rd sexer</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> from </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Zeta Reticuli</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> -- nothing at all. I think it talks about a man lying with animals, but I don't know of any animals who would willingly give you a tour of a flying saucer that they managed to build against every known law of physics right after offering you a couple of Kleenex to polish up your backside, so I don't think you can rightfully call them </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">animals.</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> The truth is, I know more than a few men who seem more like animals than any </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Gray Alien</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> I've ever met. And I've met more than a few of them, too. <i>Nope,</i> Whitley is absolutely right. Sex with a </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Gray Alien</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is not a sinful, prohibited act."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Of course, that whole Satan worship thing probably isn't looked on too favorably</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">," added Strieber. "Maybe with the Catholics. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's hard to figure them out sometimes. <i>Or the</i> <i>Mormons.</i> I know they consider <i>themselves </i>to be Christian, but does anybody else?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Public reaction to the joint statement has yet to be properly gauged, but those witnessing the conference agree that the public is unlikely to gather in their defense in the same manner the public reacted to the revelations so courageously affirmed by Caitlyn Jenner. Upon being asked for her reaction to the announcement, Caitlyn Jenner's response was immediate: </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I've never heard of anything so disgusting in my entire life. Those guys are going to burn in Hell."</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<span style="color: yellow;"><b>This is a Saucer Press International Publication.</b></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15110659214862886339noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273907814703568880.post-71228685137682181032015-10-29T20:50:00.000-07:002015-11-07T11:26:53.479-08:00Gray Aliens Under Fire by Republicans<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: red;"><i>Ted Cruz Announces GOP Efforts to "Get the Gray Out of Government"</i></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">SPI WASHINGTON, DC - At least one participant in the GOP Presidential debates has focused his efforts for defeating the Democrats on the only coalition of voters in American history to have ever voted for Democrat candidates 100% of the time: </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">the Alien Grays originating in the Zeta Reticuli star-system.</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ted Cruz, Republican Senator from Texas and Presidential hopeful, is angry that the American media has ignored his efforts to create a political issue around the influence </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Alien Grays</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> are rumored to have in the Washington, DC social milieu primarily occupied by those closely affiliated with the Obama administration. "It has become more than apparent that we can't trust the media to report the news that's important to us. That's why I've been forced to organize a GOP blue-ribbon committee to </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">'Get the Gray Out of Government.'</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> This is an issue that Americans are sadly ignorant of, and it's largely due to the media's complete silence in regard to this matter, a silence that I believe is the result of the </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Alien Grays'</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> tendency to vote Democrat in all elections! They vote in blocs of 100%, a habit I believe is the direct result of their ability -- an ability many Democrats insist does </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">not</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> exist -- to communicate great distances via extra-sensory perception, a mind-to-mind ability that nobody else in American politics can possibly take any firm advantage of! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Let me be very clear about this so even those socialists at the </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">New York Times</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> can understand: <em>we don't want the </em></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><em>Grays </em></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><em>to be represented in government at all! </em> They don't think like us, they aren't concerned with matters that all good Americans should be concerned with, and they don't give a hot damn about the future of this country!"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When asked to comment on rumors currently circulating the Beltway and surrounding areas that the </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Alien Grays</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> have been successfully teaching select Democrats, including both President Obama and Democrat front-runner Hillary Clinton, how to communicate mind-to-mind in complete silence, Senator Cruz angrily demanded, "How about we discuss substantive issues instead of these pathetic little rumors?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: yellow;">We don't want the </span><i><span style="color: yellow;">Grays</span></i><span style="color: yellow;"> to be</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>represented </b></span><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>in government at all!</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The "substantive issues" the Presidential hopeful wants America to focus on is not, however, entirely free of </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Alien Gray</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> influence. Senator Cruz made it clear that he had some concerns regarding those aliens who are born in the United States, and are, for that reason, American citizens confirmed by Constitutional decree. "The 14th Amendment to the Constitution is no longer applicable to the needs and desires of true Americans, and it absolutely has to be replaced. The founders of this great nation were very much aware that the future would bring about challenges that had never been faced before, and that's why they made it possible for future Americans to </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">change</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> the Constitution when it becomes necessary for them to do so. The</span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> 'Gray Threat'</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is one of</span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">those challenges, and a change in the Constitution is now necessary. Let me be very clear so nobody in this great nation misunderstands my intent: </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">we need to repeal the 14th Amendment. </span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> We need to get rid of that ridiculous and unnecessary definition of an American that stipulates birth in this country as the only quality, the only <em>necessity</em>, that guarantees American citizenship."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The Texas Senator eventually found it necessary to put a more reasonable face on his most recent proposal. "My friends, we need to look at this matter as an </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">opportunity</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, not a political chore. This isn't something Americans should be afraid of! We should see it as a means to redefine the measuring stick that we use when we seek to affirm America's place in the world today! We don't need the un-human presence to make America a better country, so why should we recognize members of the un-human presence as American citizens simply because of some accidental birth on American soil? Let me add that this should be understood as a huge bonus that we can take advantage of in order to fashion the future of <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span>our America in ways that most Americans have not yet conceived.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I promise you that if we determine that the accidental birth of those who define an un-human presence is not sufficient in and of itself to assume the bestowal of citizenship upon that un-human presence, I don't see any reason why we shouldn't reach the same conclusion in regard to those who seek to steal proper citizenship by using illegal immigration as the means to do so!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I don't see any reason why we shouldn't reach the same conclusion in regard to a homosexual foreign man who seeks to steal proper citizenship by paying a poor Mexican-American man to marry him! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I don't see any reason why we shouldn't reach the same conclusion in regard to those without decent and reasonable liquid assets who seek to burden America by wasting their citizenship as members of the Democrat's welfare state! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I don't see any reason why we shouldn't reach the same conclusion in regard to those with genetic deficiencies who seek to burden America by forcing taxpayers to foot the bill for the care that their own families have refused to grant them! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"The Democrats want to empty our prisons, and toss all those drug addicts and pedophiles off at the bus stop in front of your favorite 7-11! Well, I intend to propose that we toss a whole new class of criminal into the prisons where they clearly belong --</span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> a class of prisoner who illegally immigrated here from Zeta Reticuli!</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"We need to repeal the 14th Amendment and redefine what an American is today! Why should we be forced to rely on the definition of an 'American' that was established in 1868? The conditions today are completely different and the definition of an American in 1868 is no longer applicable to America in 2015! In a world where a pregnant </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Alien Gray</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, her husband and her </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">3rd Sexer</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> can take a twenty minute afternoon flight from </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Zeta Reticuli,</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> crash land in some poor New Mexican farmer's back yard and spit out a couple of cute, little gray babies who are going to reach their biological voting age in about </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">twenty-nine months</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> as predetermined by a Democrat voting bloc in the very same Act of Congress that gave us </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Obama-Care,</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> than any definition of an American citizen that relies solely on</span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> 'all persons born or naturalized in the United States,'</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is, as far as I'm concerned, nothing short of<i> moral</i> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>treason!</i> And that is not good, people, not good at all.</span></div>
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<span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial"; font-size: small;"><b>We need to repeal the 14th Amendment</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial"; font-size: small;"><b>and </b></span><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial"; font-size: small;"><b>redefine what an American is today!</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"When members of the</span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> 'Gray Threat'</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> are simply assumed to be American citizens with all the rights of American citizens due to the accident of their birth on American soil, or even worse, the </span><i></i><i></i><i></i><i></i><i></i><i></i><i></i><i></i><i></i><i></i><i></i><i></i><i></i><i></i><i></i><i></i><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">calculation of their birth</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> on American soil, then it is high time for us to establish a </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">new</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> definition in regard to what constitutes an American in the 21st century!"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Upon being asked to respond to Senator Cruz's comments, Democrat candidate and Presidential front-runner Hillary Clinton stated, "Whenever I hear someone from the Great State of Texas start to discuss their proposed national policy regarding how best to contain the threat of Americans with </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">genetic deficiencies,</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> I can't help but wonder why they can't be a little more honest to the voters by running under some </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">fascist</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> ticket instead of as a </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Republican.</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Frankly, I'd really like to know why it is that the voters in Texas are so willing to consider matters regarding what an American is supposed to be like as discussed and promulgated by a man who clearly judges the worth of an American by the political party he or she supports. If he really believes that's the only worthwhile measure of a man, I suspect Senator Cruz is going to be cruelly misused on election day, and <em>very</em> disappointed come the following morning."<br />
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<span style="color: yellow;"><b>This is a Saucer Press International Publication.</b></span><b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15110659214862886339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273907814703568880.post-59439692151971444012015-10-24T21:05:00.000-07:002015-11-07T15:20:05.203-08:00Bosnian Scientist Proves Walls Were First Designed by Ancient Aliens<h2>
<span style="color: red;"><i>(Or Possibly by Genius Neanderthals)</i></span></h2>
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SPI BOSNIA - There are literally thousands of great walls that have been discovered on every continent and at the bottom of numerous oceans and lakes, thereby proving their great age and scientific value. They are made of various types of rock and stone that were often mined and mysteriously carried in some way to their ultimate destination, many of which have proven to be hundreds, even dozens of miles away. The basic design of man's walls have not changed at all from the earliest of times to today, and we still use them all the time. In fact, man's walls can be found all over the world, many of which were obviously patterned after original structures that may be as ancient as 15,000 to 45,000 years old! </div>
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Some of these mysterious structures were erected across entire continents, seemingly without any real purpose. They have been used in the creation of every common structure known to man, purposely shaped into every imaginable geometric design ever conceived, from squares to triangles to circles, and today are believed to form the basic component of every architectural thought ever borne upon this planet. And yet, many scientists are today convinced that the advanced knowledge necessary to construct these fantastic, sideways pillars of the human mind and human thought came to us from beyond the stars, and are prototypically <i>un-human!</i> </div>
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<span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Dr. Osmanagich explains how walls are </b></span></div>
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Dr. Sam Osmanagich Ph.D., director of the <i>Center for Anthropology and Archaeology</i> at the <i>American University</i> in Bosnia (aptly named, having been dedicated to the teaching of <i>American</i> science) has authored 11 books about ancient civilizations that he believes may have been responsible for the first creation of walls on the planet Earth. Walls, Osmanagich tells us, were first invented during an outburst of human creativity and triumph so productive that its equal has never been noted before or since. He claims that many of these walls were erected well before humanity was sophisticated enough to do so without some measure of assistance, and asks us to consider one paramount question before writing off his theories as the meandering puffiness of a first rate fool and charlatan without the God-given sense to apply general, well-proven systems of thought to the finely-focused explosion of pure stupidity that many scientists claim his theories truly represent: <i>did ancient civilizations build these great walls of stone or are ancient aliens actually responsible for the worldwide construction of walls in elaborate architectural patterns that seem to have been universally applied everywhere at once across the entire planet Earth so many thousands of years ago?</i> It's a good question!<br />
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The oldest Chinese and Egyptian walls are far superior to those erected later. Older walls were often built from granite and sandstone blocks of immense size, while more recent walls are fashioned with small bricks often constructed of little more than the mud and straw that Hebrew slaves allegedly used to construct the Egyptian pyramids. The walls we build today are meager, puny things in comparison with the great walls of history. According to Osmanagich, only the least likely of explanations can account for the evidence he has uncovered in the mud and ancient swamps of modern Europe and Asia. It has become apparent to him that there are only <i>TWO</i> possibilities that will fit into the history he has so ably built up and established from nothing: either (1) ancient aliens who originated on another planet orbiting another star were the <i>true architects</i> of the Earth's many walls and we were their willing students, or (2) an ancient yet worldwide civilization of sophisticated Neanderthal men existed on Earth as depicted in our ancient texts and discussed in our ancient legends, and <i>they</i> were the great architects of the world's amazing walls that we later inherited from them when their inability to design advanced weaponry such as the compound bow and arrow to replace the traditional spears they had originally designed ensured their complete extinction!
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Science tells us that ancient humans were not very sophisticated, being only slightly above the intelligence level of cave men and possessing no real knowledge of architectural forms at all. There were no colleges or universities in which a man could learn the skills of an architect. In ancient times, we are taught, the world was governed by the <i>Illuminati,</i> the "faceless, educated ones," those who learned only at the feet of their strangely dressed masters. Ancient drawings depict these masters as short, angry men who were squat yet powerful. Analysis of these drawings suggest, however, that they may not have been angry, as our forefathers thought, but merely possessed of large foreheads atop cranial expanses that were singularly heavy in size and weight. Could they have been Neanderthal men, with such swollen facial features? Or were they the features of our alien teachers with large skulls hiding their frightening and imposing intellectual character? Whether they were aliens or Neanderthals is questionable, but there is no doubt whatsoever that they were the true architects, the first builders of Earth's grand walls.</div>
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Once we have posited the highly advanced civilization that gave impetus to those who built the walls, it becomes necessary to determine the technology that was used to do so in the now lost remnants of our common prehistory. What was the mysterious power source that enabled ancient man to create the walls that protected him? It's ridiculous to assume that men simply carried one rock at a time, stacking brick upon brick, one atop another, side by side as documented in some cases of one to two hundred feet at a time. What patience and strength of will could have possibly enabled ancient man to create such structures, oftentimes well over the height of his own stature of six-feet or more for many yards at a time, a single stretch of wall sometimes being as thick as four to eight feet? It's impossible for man to have done so with little more than the simple levers and mortars and pestles that made up the only real tools he had access to and thumbs to properly utilize. What manner of technology could ancient man or his alien space brothers or his Neanderthal task masters have possibly harnessed? </div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: yellow;">The history of walls is largely a history of the unknown</span>.</b></span></td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCe8GqvcHa1xp_NBIJd-3Uekx_nLHmtZgAeD9UczFPbKP1cYV8wLr_dpXZ7eh3F7HUZhov0G8YVEIJt-nDjXbF5gf0WdRAgmxTnuNwezkw2tg9UimYfv4gGtJdTlf1yhjrrLp1Q8foXjI/h120/Peru_copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a>Only the technology of harmonic resonance, claims author-engineer Christopher Dunn, could have managed such a civilization-bending task. Dunn reveals that the Great Wall of China was in reality a large electronic acoustical device of the same sort utilized by well-known music band <i>Depeche Mode </i>in the modern day castles their great musical success has given them the means to purchase. "Their huge hit, '<i>Master and Servant',</i> could very easily have been composed at the same time the Great Wall of China was being constructed," Dunn insists. "If you run enough electrical current through that Great Wall, indeed, through almost any similarly constructed wall, you would be able to compel <i>millions</i> of Chinese peasants to dance their asses off!" That alone, claims Dunn, could solve China's present day energy crisis for decades to come, and could do so without raising the carbon dioxide content in our atmosphere. All that needs to be done to solve this rhythmic riddle is to figure out how to create the electrical current to run through that Great Wall." Unfortunately, it is at this point that the ancients grow silent, and thereby makes <i>"Master and Servant"</i> such a dire necessity.</div>
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Certain facts cannot, however, be denied, and it is within these facts that we uncover the truth behind the fable. The harmonic resonance of large rectangular structures like walls can be converted to microwave radiation, according to Christopher Dunn. When ancient architects used their knowledge of walls to construct protected and sheltered areas such as rooms and chambers, it became possible to maximize the wall's natural acoustical qualities. All that was needed was a consistent and recreationally applied source of electrical energy to do so. Dr. Sam Osmanagich, who first pursued the historical importance of walls on the planet Earth, has pointed out that the means to convert atmospheric electricity into a stable source of electrical energy was also understood and written about by <i>Nikola Tesla,</i> an <i>avant garde</i> rock group of the 1990s. "It was <i>Tesla</i> who first suggested that all you need to complete this puzzle are the electrical terminals, cables and ancient wiring diagrams that are used today by almost every modern day rock group -- the <i>non-acoustic</i> ones, anyway. You need those simple tools, all of which are easily mastered, and nothing more. Well, those tools and a whole lot of lightning, anyway. <i>Thank you, Jesus!"</i></div>
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Christopher Dunn has answered all of these mysteries and more in his numerous historical essays. He teaches us that it is hidden within the compounded structure of walls that the ultimate answers are discovered, and it is these secrets of the walls that he illuminates for modern man. "Granite used to construct walls all over the world contains a high percentage of quartz, which possesses the natural ability to transform kinetic energy into electricity." </div>
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That kinetic energy is easy to produce, according to <i>Depeche Mode</i>. "Kinetic energy is what happens when you play <i>"Master and Servant" </i>-- the social game from the French Revolution, not the song. You see, walls are designed to vibrate, and vibration is, by its universal nature, a producer of kinetic energy. <i>Music makes a wall rock, and the quartz makes it roll!"</i> And as the great teachings have come down to us, dance is little more than controlled kinetic energy!</div>
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<b><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Are these the bricks that launched a thousand ships?</span></b></div>
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Music makes the granite wall vibrate, according to Dunn. Movable granite causes stress within the quartz. The movement of the electrons within the quartz generates the well known<i> Piezo-electric effect</i>. "The electricity is then produced, and all we needed was a wall and some music, and the two together enabled mankind to create walls all over the Earth." This is why music is so important to ancient religious movements, and as modern physics has taught us, <i>movement</i> has always been kinetic in character. Music is the provider of power, and power lights up the whole world! This technology could only have been mastered by the natural civilizations built up from so little by the ageless Neanderthals or by the ancient aliens who created our civilization with their flying saucers and technical secrets and know-how. <i>And they did it by building our walls and teaching us to sing.</i></div>
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It was the energy in our music that built the greatest of Earth's walls. For as the <i>Illuminati</i> once taught our forefathers: great Amphion, a son of Zeus, was taught to play the golden lyre by the god Hermes. He used this gift by helping to build the magnificent walls around the Cadmea, the citadel of ancient Thebes that protected this greatest of cities for about a hundred years! While his brother Zethus struggled to carry his stones, <i>Amphion simply played his lyre and his stones followed after him and gently glided into place,</i> exactly as Robert A. Heinlein pictured in his great tome of Earth's Martian history <u><i>Stranger in a Strange Land</i></u>. It was the music that released the energy that lay within the walls. And it was that energy that enabled mankind to build even more magnificent walls. <i>The walls of the church were raised from the Earth, and only then did the hymns that celebrate the Word move the spirit of God to wash across the world.</i></div>
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However, the <i>Illuminati</i> also taught early man that power could destroy as well as create, for hidden within the song was raw energy that could be directed at will. In this manner, the walls of Jericho were brought down low, and the so-called <i>Chosen of God</i> captured the city in blood and fire. But that was discussed in man's written history, which is a place of few mysteries. By the time Jericho's great biblical walls were ripped asunder, man's ancient teachers were no more. The Neanderthal races had been extinct for more than a couple hundred years, and their great achievements had not yet been rediscovered in man's oldest textbooks or at his favorite archeological sites. </div>
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The alien creatures that probably taught man how to farm and cook his agricultural products, how to be proper husbands to the animals he raises for food and recreation, and how to vote in a democratic society had decided to live in their flying saucers and to cease their attempts to directly influence man's course through time by ordering him around and telling him what to do. They had already taught man the most important lessons of civilization, such as how to read and, in many cases, how to write, how to ferment the grapes of wrath so he could take part in the Eucharist as God clearly intended instead of being forced to use grape jelly or juice, and, perhaps most importantly, how to dress in proper and fashionable clothing with separate standards dependent on gender, this being the best and least expensive way for a poor man with a fairly decent, lower middle class job with average opportunities for advancement to attract a mate. But then our alien benefactors determined that an end to their stewardship had been reached.</div>
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No one knows why our alien space brothers decided to step away from their earlier course of teaching man how to navigate with pride and decency through time. Perhaps they decided that a gentler means of education was necessary. Or perhaps they determined to be more influential through their silent guidance of man's cultural pursuits. It cannot be denied that man's desire for more pleasurable ways to pass the time has only recently -- in the judgment of geographical ages -- managed to create dances that also contained elements of high levels of kinetic energy. Only recently has man discovered how to increase the amplitude of his music through electronic methods. These faults in our otherwise natural tendency toward self-control and quietude would suggest that we were ill-prepared to discover the great secret hidden within our walls until this very moment in time and this point in our cultural evolution. <i>Just think!</i> If man had been able to recreate this one amazing method of energy replenishment a million years ago when he first learned to build sailboats, he would very probably never have been forced to rely on the combustion engines that run on gasoline or diesel fuel or petroleum byproducts, and would therefore never have invented and then taken advantage of the Industrial Revolution after Eisenhower was first elected President! If we could have taken advantage of such a small detour in human history, we might not have had to deal with global warming and the inherent inability of our national philosophies to create and sell a cure-all for global warming. We wouldn't have been forced to try and finance an international agenda that is considered an overly paranoid response by a national populace that is no longer afraid of anything except UFOs and elections.</div>
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Well, we can't whine about the problems man has today. All we can do is try to solve our problems and hope that we don't destroy the world in the process. <i>Only then can we hope to persuade our space brothers to someday return to Earth and tell us what to do next!</i><br />
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<span style="color: yellow;"><b>This is a Saucer Press International Publication.</b></span><b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike> </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15110659214862886339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273907814703568880.post-1174645278959371122015-10-20T20:30:00.002-07:002015-11-07T15:21:24.853-08:00Unemployed Gray Alien Sues State Department Under Civil Rights Act<h2>
<span style="color: red;"><i>Does Racial Profiling Prevent Gainful Employment?</i></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">SPI WASHINGTON, DC - Ralph Hafflefloff, a gray alien born in Tucson, Arizona, filed suit in Washington, DC this morning claiming that the racial profiling practiced by the State Department has prevented him/her from seeking gainful employment with the Transportation Security Administration (TSA). His/her lawyer, Mr. Todtslo Ruben of Alexandria, Virginia, cited the Civil Rights Act and the 14th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution as paramount arguments favoring his client's case. Hafflefloff's parents were part of the first wave of <i>Astro Kin</i> settlers welcomed by the federal government in 1949. Hafflefloff, having been born in the United States, is an American citizen.</span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"All I ever wanted to do was serve my nation in its pursuit of a secure future,"</span></i><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Hafflefloff insists. "I have been prevented from achieving my dream by the United States' own State Department as a result of organized oppression authored by those who are consumed by their hatred of </span><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">'grayskins',</span></i><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> as we've been called. I never thought I would ever see the day that a citizen of the United States of America would ever be so consciously and insultingly plotted against merely to prevent me from becoming a happy and tolerant citizen with only one real desire: to protect my country and to see it succeed when others would bring her down. I was born in this great country, and I'm as much a citizen as anybody else! Why am I barred from living out my American dream? Why am I prevented from helping to make my nation a safer and more secure homeland? I'm hated and feared and cursed, because of my skin color. Why can't I simply be judged by the content of my character?" </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Secretary of State John Kerry released the following statement of policy in regard to Hafflefloff's lawsuit: "The State Department has no issue with Mr. Hafflefloff's skin color. We fully recognize and honor the equality inherent to all skin colors. Racial profiling is a heinous practice and a disgusting measure of judgment, and it has no place amongst the duties of our government. Frankly, it's an insult to seek redress on the basis of such a practice."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Kerry makes it very clear that "Ralph Hafflefloff's skin color has no bearing on this matter, so there is no legal standing or merit to his/her case. The reason for his/her failure to find gainful employment is entirely due to his/her sexual orientation. As a </span><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">3rd Sexer</span></i><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, he/she is clearly unsuitable for a career in the TSA. He/she would be expected to follow current TSA policy, and TSA policy requires officers to conduct one-on-one screening only with members of his or her same sex. Gray aliens are infamously afraid of flying, so who exactly would Hafflefloff screen? No his/her flying means there's no his/her screening.</span><br />
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<span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">"We didn't even notice his/her skin color."</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"It's also a well-known tenet of federal assurance that matters of a sexual nature require as little government interference as possible due to the extreme level of reckless embarrassment that tends more often than not to be associated with such a tight, limited focus. Take for instance the case of Jeffrey Dahmer. <i>Ten years</i> after his little government protest, the great city of Milwaukee had <i>still </i>failed to legislate any act or practice that might involve <i>necrophilia.</i> It's almost like they're afraid to even discuss it in their own court of law, for God's sake! Well, let me tell you something: your government </span><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">applauds</span></i><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> that sort of reticence to dictate policy, especially when that policy is so clearly necessary. It shows us that you're willing to sacrifice a point of good order and necessary decorum to keep government out of your bedroom or -- if you're still a teenager -- the backseat of your Dad's car. So God bless you."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ralph Hafflefloff refused to comment further, but his lawyer, Todtslo Ruben, insists that a lawsuit based on skin color cannot be ignored simply because the State Department recognizes the additional element of sexual orientation.</span></div>
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<span style="color: yellow;"><b>This is a Saucer Press International Publication.</b></span><b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15110659214862886339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273907814703568880.post-9659813302976524582015-10-11T01:03:00.001-07:002015-11-07T15:22:22.508-08:00New Photograph Proves ET Hypothesis<h2>
<span style="color: red;"><i>Supports "Friendly Alien" Theory</i></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">SPI PARIS, FRANCE - A photograph recently discovered among various documents and letters thought to have once been the property of author and philosopher John-Paul Sartre has managed to excite dozens of analysts and researchers who are convinced that it depicts an alien creature standing next to a flying saucer. It was purchased by an anonymous bidder at an estate sale of items recently discovered at a Shurgard Self Storage facility in Paris and Ile-de-France and subsequently declared to be abandoned property. It was believed by the organizers of the auction to have been the property of 1964 Nobel Laureate for Literature John-Paul Sartre, because a signed copy of Henri Bergson's essay </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Time and Free Will: An Essay on the Immediate Data of Consciousness"</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> was discovered amongst other items. It was inscribed, </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"To John-Paul: You seem like a good guy, so I'm going to tell you a secret. You will never make any money with a degree in Philosophy. Whether it's a Masters or a Doctorate isn't even relevant, because the only meaningful thing your degree will ever represent is how much of your life you wasted in the pursuit of idiocy. Thanks for coming to the reading, and have a great life."</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The photograph itself has been analyzed in some depth by a number of experts in the context of modern ufology, including members of the Belgian UFO investigative group SOBEPS, Professor Marc Acheroy, Frangois Louange, a specialist in satellite imagery with the French national space research center, Dr. Richard Haines, a former senior scientist with NASA, and Professor Andre Marion, doctor of nuclear physics and professor at the University of Paris-Sud. These scientists are famous for their in-depth analysis of a photograph taken in Petit Rechain, Belgium in April, 1990 by an anonymous twenty-year-old man. Their ground-breaking discussion of the Petit Rechain photo, especially in regard to its highly credible nature as representative of the 1989-1990 wave of UFO sightings in Belgium, contrasts favorably with their analysis of the Sartre photo. Both are clearly important in the history of UFO photo analysis, and both represent the primarily scientific examination of media designed to assist the scientific community to reach valid conclusions in regard to UFOs and their inherent technological characteristics. The contents of their recent Sartre photo report are, however, especially startling: </span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The high-contrast and washed-out colors that are immediately notable to the lowliest observer could only occur in the presence of a light fusion drive encompassed by a series of gravity dampers connected in parallel and fully synchronized under a high-positron yield energy refraction system. This is huge -- it's revolutionary! As such, it proves absolutely and without the necessity for debate that not only do UFOs originate from a location outside of our solar system, they are also capable of travelling between galaxies.</span></i></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In the first appendix of this report, Dr. Richard Haines, former senior scientist with NASA, insists that </span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">nothing like this can be manufactured by humans. This advanced technology isn't merely a couple of generations beyond our capabilities; we're talking about thousands of years ahead of our current abilities. Even the most basic understanding of the technology this craft uses for intergalactic navigation is beyond human capability. Not even string theory can account for this type of high-tech spatial travel. We're talking about the possibility of melting down literally dozens of dimensional rifts simply to produce the energy necessary for this craft to fly just a few dozen miles in our atmosphere. God alone knows much would be required to fly a million light years through empty space. Well, God and the aliens who built it, anyway. </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you take these tenets to their natural conclusion, I believe you would also be forced to accept the reality of the multi-universe theory. The only possible way you can account for the actual movement and flight that this flying saucer is clearly intended to achieve is by recognizing the necessity for a power source that literally consumes adjacent universes, and releases that immense energy in controlled bursts of coalescing fields of dark matter that may even be associated with quasar phenomena. It should be obvious to even the least educated among us that we have now passed all the way through the looking glass. And that, too, requires a lot of energy. We're not going to get there on just a few gallons of dinosaur poop, boys and girls.</span></i></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7Imr7KRv5KoYnsgevPDpsKIMDr4MAFfNT0OnJRKEjJi2CZIyvr5BwZlwRQ1QQGMMrNpducSPniN0BotjvF7UIOmSSUOhyMFSCgc8uNrNmH0ACt4jYHlZ26EHwqbxdx6yZ5RI5sXRyZf8/h120/New+Photograph+Proves+Extra-Terrestrial+Hypothesis.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" class="om-O-x" height="229" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7Imr7KRv5KoYnsgevPDpsKIMDr4MAFfNT0OnJRKEjJi2CZIyvr5BwZlwRQ1QQGMMrNpducSPniN0BotjvF7UIOmSSUOhyMFSCgc8uNrNmH0ACt4jYHlZ26EHwqbxdx6yZ5RI5sXRyZf8/h120/New+Photograph+Proves+Extra-Terrestrial+Hypothesis.jpg" style="left: 0px; top: 0px;" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
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<b><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">New "Sartre photo" ends debate on ET</span></b></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Another analyst devoted to the importance of the Sartre photo is Christopher Montgomery, famous for his eye-opening analysis of photos used by the 1967 Colorado UFO Study, which was responsible for the USAF's determination that UFOs are natural phenomenon and need not be investigated by any component of the U.S. Department of Defense. Some paragraphs of Montgomery's separate report of his examination of the Sartre photo are almost word-for-word duplicates of elements typical of his report regarding the Colorado UFO Study photos:</span>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The asymmetrical character of the UFO indicates that it is somewhere between our dimension and the next. The harsh outlines and uneven coloring in the photograph fits in well with my conclusions regarding the craft's likely power source. Fusion power could use deuterium fuel, which is readily available in ordinary tap water. Through the process of nucleosynthesis, for example, the UFO's exhaust would be gamma radiation. Gamma is a common byproduct of UFOs interacting within our environment. The distortion of the craft's linear characteristics could easily be caused by a massive influx of gamma radiation originating in tap water. This same phenomenon is implied in the structure of VaporFi e-cigarettes and vaporizers, which also releases an exhaust of water vapor and microscopic gamma stigmata. The cloud-like exhaust in the Sartre photo makes this assertion extremely likely.</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">All of the reports strongly suggest the authors' opinions that the single alien standing next to his flying saucer is friendly in nature and therefore inclined to assist the populations of Earth to reach the summit of our ethical goals, including but certainly not limited to the attainment of world peace, the elimination of hunger and thirst, and the achievement by all of equal pay for equal jobs, regardless of sex, creed, or religion, but without the normally attendant destruction of sex, creed, or religion. </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Oh, and also gun control.</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Almost all aliens -- illegal as well as legal -- are willing to work with us to meet the noblest of our goals involving gun control. Of all those individuals who were involved in the drafting of the reports analyzing the Sartre photo, Professor Marc Acheroy expresses the clearest opinion in regard to the decent and heartfelt character, as well as the steadfast and simple </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">humanity</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> of the alien in the photograph: "He is obviously smiling, and his arms are open wide in the universal gesture of openness and good nature and aggressive welcome from one partner of intergalactic alliance to another, making any further debate on scientific terms a complete waste of time and effort. Of course he's friendly. Why the Hell wouldn't he be? </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He landed in America!"</span></i><br />
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When it was pointed out to Acheroy that while the location depicted in the photograph was unknown, the photograph itself was discovered in France, amongst the property of a French philosopher and author who was well known for his stubborn refusal to travel </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">anywhere</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, even within the borders of his own nation, his response was another universal gesture, albeit not one that could be mistaken for a symbol of </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">openness</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">good nature</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and </span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">aggressive welcome</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">.</span><br />
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<span style="color: yellow;"><b>This is a Saucer Press International Publication.</b></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15110659214862886339noreply@blogger.com0