Monday, August 22, 2016

Attorney General Approves Extradition of Alien Gray American

Eugenics Offenses May Affect U.S. Election

Is Trump God? Or Does He Just Think He Is?

SPI WASHINGTON DC -- The Department of Justice turned the whole nature or nurture argument of human personality on its head today when it approved the extradition of Alien Gray Tuktukleetobon Frijik, an American citizen, to the virtual nation of Zolomon where he will be tried and held accountable by the laws of that nation on several counts of the recently legislated Eugenics Platform laws.  While the United States Department of Justice has wholeheartedly recognized the necessity for enacting such laws governing the secret experimentation by one intelligent species upon another, this is the first case in which an American citizen will be held accountable for illegal acts by another nation.

The subject of the experiments performed by the defendant was Mr. Fred Trump, the father of Republican Presidential Candidate, Donald John Trump. The experiment itself is alleged to have occurred in October 1945, and the happy result, according to the already publicly admitted confessions of the defendant, is Mr. Donald J. Trump himself. The Department of Justice cites the alleged time period in which the eugenics experiment took place as one of the primary reasons the extradition was allowed to proceed. While the United States has enacted several statutes comparable to the Eugenics Platform laws legislated by the virtual nation of Zolomon, those laws that would be best applied to the experiments conducted by Tuktukleetobon Frijik in 1945 include an element not found in the Zolomonian laws: a statute of limitations going back only fifty years, making the prosecution of Mr. Frijik illegal. Republican lawmakers had insisted on the inclusion of such limitations during the final vote to establish the legislation. At the time, they argued that the limitation was necessary because it would allow our nation's legal convictions to proceed "outside of the glare of World War Two," which is still considered by most Americans to represent the period during which the worst eugenics offenses in human history took place. Being one of the oldest known races in the administrative group of galaxies that includes our solar system, and one that considers themselves to be nearly immortal, the Alien Gray race inhabiting the virtual nation of Zolomon cleansed their legal system of such divisive tools as the statute of limitations many millions of years ago shortly after successfully transferring a single consciousness into one of the far more permanent bodies they currently use for travelling to other inhabited planets. 

The prosecution of Mr. Frijik is not the first time
America has had to wrestle with the issue of eugenics.
The specific crimes that the defendant Tuktukleetobon Frijik is being prosecuted for involve the weight of scientific standards, evidence, and procedures that the government of the United States is, to a great degree, unfamiliar with. At the same time, however, the Department of Justice emphasizes that the scientific characterization of the crimes has been accepted as valid by almost all courts of law and systems of judgment in the United States, excluding only that of public opinion. It should be noted, however, that the general public of the United States has already been shown in numerous court cases to be "dangerously ignorant in regard to common science, a quality that is primarily the effect of decades of conservative, Bible Belt America's refusal to educate their children sufficiently enough to utilize the same level of knowledge necessary to be considered competitive throughout the rest of the nation."  This affirmation has already been recognized as a point of order in the case of Tuppence Weatherbottom vs. The State of Kansas, so the lack of understanding noted in regard to public opinion is not considered much of a handicap.

As defined by the Alien Gray scientific community standards protocol, defendant Tuktukleetobon Frijik is accused of "precipitating dangerous personality confabulations" committed during the standard application of spermatozoon integration with a human subject, that subject having been approved for breeding insertion only, a condition very well documented during the patient's inclusion into the breeding program. According to Alien Gray science that has only recently been accepted as conditional to United States law, a "fluctuating protein" was attached by the defendant to the generating spermatozoon gamete, a practice well-documented within the Alien Gray Scientific Archive of Human Research that is currently preserved in the custodial holdings of the Migrant Ascension Clan Head Keeper to enable a specified personality integration to become dominant within the approaching zygote. The procedure in question is not fully understood by the United States legal community, but the effects of this unwarranted personality experiment was considered so egregious and so potentially damaging not only to the family of the subject, but to the entire nation, that the legal doctrine for the case before the court was allowed to proceed, albeit only on the condition that the offender Tuktukleetobon Frijik be tried under judicial restraints outside of the United States' territorial holdings on Earth or elsewhere.

According to the record of pre-trial assessments, the defendant was attempting to cross-breed personalities, a practice not fully recognized by any human scientific communities. According to Alien Gray science, however, personalities are associated with the standard number of chromosomes integrated under species enlightenment chains bound with various proteins to the resulting zygote. The defendant Tuktukleetobon Frijik, however, was not attempting to integrate a known personality to the subject, although that alone would have been illegal in accordance with the recently legislated Eugenics Platform laws of the United States. Frijik was attempting to create a whole new personality standard by attaching an erasure bound protein found primarily in plant life to the fluctuating protein of a human subject, creating thereby a new personality with unique features of its own.

Anticipating the legal and moral issues rising from this case, Attorney General Loretta E. Lynch released the following statement:  "The United States recognizes that the Alien Gray's virtual nation of Zolomon has a great deal more experience prosecuting many of the Eugenics Platform laws that have been enacted by both of our nations. Given that much of the technology utilized by the defendant to carry out his alleged crimes was originally developed by various national interests native to Zolomon, and that said technologies have only recently been shared with the governments of North America, our current administration, under the advisement of the United States Senatorial Science Board, the House of Representatives Migrant Committee, the current Zolomonian ambassador to the United States, the current Migrant Ascension Clan Head Keeper and the U.S. Department of Justice, has determined that our natural inclination to provide the most stable platform for the pursuit of justice necessitates the extradition of Mr. Frijik to the virtual nation of Zolomon. Once his new status has been received and confirmed, he will be tried in accordance with laws already agreed upon and enacted by the representatives of both of our great nations.
"No, I swear to you, it's this big!"
"The egregious nature of the crimes allegedly committed by this particular individual are so offensive, and so contrary to the cultural and moral ideals commonly shared by both the Human and the Alien Gray races, that we believe it is supremely necessary to allow an Alien Gray court to prosecute an Alien Gray offender, whether that Alien is an American citizen or not. By doing so, we can more surely guarantee a conviction for direct cause and a means to advance justice without being forced to gamble against the issues rising from this case that may already have had some bearing on the future governing of this great nation."

Attorney General Lynch's reference to the future governing of the United States is the first official word from the Obama Administration recognizing how the scientific advances achieved by the Alien Gray defendant Tuktukleetobon Frijik may have already had some effect on the political environment currently developing in the United States. As regular readers of The Saucerologist are already aware, the current Republican Party candidate for President of the United States, Donald Trump, is himself the fruit of Alien Gray manipulation with the genetic identity of an American citizen (for further details please note the article at 

According to sources within the Alien Gray communities on Earth, the Republican candidate for President is not entirely human. "He is a result of my people's ancient attempts to breed a race containing the best qualities of each of our species. Apparently, one of humanity's better qualities is its habitual and oftentimes bitterly pronounced contempt for others.  When that quality is combined with my species' humility and its spiritually-based desire to crush and then wipe-out all opponents to those missions intended to raise the quality of existence for all creatures, the sad result is exactly what you see here:  the assumed grandeur of the divine, and the eventual assumption of God-hood."

Our source for the story was very quick to point out that the end-products of the Alien Gray's breeding program were not truly divine. "There's no such thing as divinity!  No, these individuals were delusional as a result of the inherent psychological contradictions that came about when the better qualities of my species and the better qualities of your species were intermingled within a single host.  And even then you have to figure in the almost typical chromosome disintegration that often took place.  I can promise you, though, that there was no real divinity, only their belief in divinity." Given Trump's and the GOP's secondary target this election season (the primary target, of course, being the Democrat's candidate for President, Hillary Clinton), it is somewhat ironic that the Great Prophet Muhammad was a product of the very same breeding program that produced Donald Trump. Proving that the Alien Gray's are not entirely immune to the aesthetic effects of irony, one of the original Gray Alien Ambassadors, an individual named Repplesmunck Yoleoderff, who was also our primary source for the breeding program story published last December, noted that, "The Great Prophet was a much better and more accomplished public speaker than your Donald Trump could ever be, but as qualities shared do tend to balance out in the long run, it would be unfair of us not to point out that although Trump may have less personal charisma than the Great Prophet, he tends to have a far greater and more pronounced ability to offend people who have never met him, including the entity you refer to as 'Allah'". The Saucerologist must state with some conviction that we are not always 100% certain when Ambassador Yoleoderff is being sincere and when he is joking.

"Check out that tie! Do I have
great taste or what?"
In regard to the breeding program referred to in Attorney General Lynch's statement, it should be pointed out that the defendant Tuktukleetobon Frijik is not being tried for actions he committed in service to the Alien Gray's breeding program, which was essentially approved as a legal condition experiment over three-thousand years ago. Although the Department of Justice has, and will continue to object to any Eugenics Platform experimentation upon human beings by other intelligent races, the breeding program has only been officially censured, and is still considered a legal act, albeit one that good manners and inter-species protocol forced the Alien Grays to discontinue under extreme hiatus in 1959.

One of the reasons that defendant Frijik's experiment is considered so egregiously offensive is because it has placed the burden of his acts onto the people of the United States.  The subject of his experiment was born and raised with the unique advantages of monetary affluence without familial affection, and is now the Republican Party's 2016 candidate for the Presidency of the United States: Mr. Donald John Trump. Being the first of his kind, a political creature possessed of the delusional belief in its own unique divinity with a personality created by the criminal mind of the defendant, Tuktukleetobon Frijik, the American people have been forced to consider what effect this man may have as President of the United States, the most powerful single position in the entire world, a resolution to the American political process that is more akin to a sad and repellent dystopian future than the validated and anticipated forging of a great nation's will, a characteristic that America's citizenry have always believed these expressions of the united voice to be.

"Yeah, that's right, God; You took my
job so I'm coming after you next!"
It is commonly believed that the erasure bound protein the defendant Frijik is accused of attaching to the fluctuating protein generated within the spermatozoon gamete of Fred Trump, Donald Trump's natural father, is very likely the cause behind Trump's unstructured yet incapable personality and the flaws associated with such a personality. It's natural to conclude, as many Americans do, that Donald Trump may lack the mental capacity and the physical stamina to serve as President of the United States due to the experiments allegedly conducted by the Alien Gray defendant Tuktukleetobon Frijik during his consummation as enacted by his natural parents.

Although the scientific communities in the United States are uncertain what effect the many different erasure bound proteins may have on human personality standards, the defendant Tuktukleetobon Frijik has already admitted that the source of the proteins used to achieve the personality profile clothing the mind of Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump was the common American smooth-leafed, firm-headed green cabbage. As such, it behooves the American people to consider author Ambrose Bierce's definition of cabbage:  "A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head."

That's right. This child of two humans is part human, part Alien Gray, and part cabbage; oh, and the cabbage part is the only part of him that's been proven to be American.

This is a Saucer Press International Publication