Tuesday, May 24, 2016

The Precious Creed

When is a Universe Not a Universe?

When It's a Hoax . . .

SPI Atlanta, Georgia -- It occurred to one of our stringers that we've never published our principle creed here at The Saucerologist. It's been published on a couple of other websites, but never on our own.  We would like to remedy that oversight today with the following epistle to our faithless few:

Here at The Saucerologist, our philosophy is simple: we are convinced that Humanity is a hoax perpetrated by the Alien Grays of Zeta Reticuli. Their recently consummated alliance with Schrodinger's Cat throughout the known multiverse has made the eventual adoption of the Alien Gray's worldview a near certainty. When this occurs, the hoax will end, and the imaginary creatures currently populating this imaginary planet we call "Earth" will fade away into nothingness, as if they had never been. This will be an instantaneous and aggressive change resulting from the overwhelming reversal of the belief system our planet currently occupies. 

Ditto for the planet itself.  
Map revealing the source of our possible extinction
(Courtesy Saint Betty Hill of the Hills)

And you guys thought belief could never affect the balance of our reality structures. Well, this one was created when wet matter blew like a river into the Universe as the first known quasar erupted for absolutely no reason at all.

Damn right it sucks . . .

The Saucerologist has decided that enough is enough. We happen to enjoy our current existence, even if we are mere theories intended to support the imaginary renderings of an alien race. Their ultimate intent is to acquire great power and force its collective will to prevail across millions of universes, many of which are also populated with imaginary beings equally dissatisfied with their imaginary lot in life.

Being imaginary creatures invented primarily as a source of entertainment for alien hordes, we possess only one effective weapon that can be raised in defense of our existential happenstance. That weapon is our own imagination. We seek, therefore, to unburden our dark souls so that we may properly wield that great and often offensive weapon to achieve the only worthwhile solution we can see to our innate problem of ultimate extinction: our continued existence in this singular universe that we have affectionately called "The Universe", where we hope to survive in friendly commerce across the face of this great planet that we have affectionately called "Earth". To that end, therefore, we pledge ourselves, our lands, our properties, and our admittedly weak and poorly focused will to the attainment of our primary desire, this being the creation of an alternate worldview raised in turn by the imaginary inhabitants of our imaginary universe mustered by we imaginary few to replace the Alien Gray's worldview that is collectively threatening our very existence, imaginary though it may be.

So remember: if you stop by our little blog and truly believe what you read (or at least try to), you may yet extend your actuality, your essence, the physicality of your currently weightless and immeasurable soul for a short time (to be determined at some future date dependent upon whatever efforts you actually apply). For if you do not, the Gray Threat wins and our tenuous existence grows ever weaker.

Join us today at:


Or you can just stay here, like I do. Not much difference . . .

For the sake of us all, please remember: only you (in concert with everybody else) can help us win this imaginary war against the ever elusive Gray Threat.

Your friend and neighbor,
Todd Rugger at The Saucerologist

This is a Saucer Press International Publication 

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

New Mummified Alien Discovered by Jaimie Maussan

Cinco de Mayo Will Never Be the Same

The Dogon Tribe Was Right!

Self-esteem is a fleeting pleasure
That normal men can scarce endure
For in that time by which we measure
What’s come is gone & can be no more

We at The Saucerologist thought it would be a happy reach out to our great friends to the south if we recognize one of the true legends of UFOlogy, Jaimie Maussan, during the blessed celebration of Cinco de Mayo. This is a day forever embedded in the history of Mexico, a date forever honoring that nation's defense of its desire to refrain from paying its rightful debts if the money can be better spent on something more immediately amusing. On Cinco de Mayo (May 5) in 1862, a somewhat surprising tradition involving tequila, fireworks, and flags was born when Mexico defeated the greedy French who had come to demand payment of debts owed. They promptly met the Mexican forces near Puebla, where the 6,000-man French army was roundly defeated by a Mexican army of only 2,000 souls, each of whom was forced to carry his own ruck sack of black velvet pillows! They were unprepared, and untrained, and they kicked some serious French CENSORED-DELETED! Oh, Yeah! And so it goes . . . 

Alien corpse raises Maussan's 
reputation once again - WOOF!
While France's defeat was far from being a major strategic victory for Mexico, within 150 years its anniversary would come to represent an unconditional morale booster that all Americans can enjoy without the guilty feelings that possess those who are forced to turn back hundreds of Mexican sightseers and vacationers at the U.S.-Mexican border, where sightseeing is only pleasurable for a few short minutes, and the vacation is quickly cancelled before anybody can even hit the beach.  The Saucerologist is convinced that this day of celebration should also be used to honor the many scientific and endlessly fascinating contributions to the world's store of knowledge that were originally proposed somewhere in the mind of star UFOlogist Jaimie Maussan, Mexico's favorite son under the sun.

It's pure coincidence that this holiday has also been selected by Jaimie Maussan to reveal another unprecedented find:  the body of an alien murdered thousands of years ago, possibly by another alien. "I was absolutely stunned," Maussan declared.  I've studied the Dogon tribe for decades, but it was primarily an intellectual exercise based in weird yet treasured translations. I never dreamed I would actually discover a mummified member of the race that taught the earliest Dogon everything it knows about astronomy, including elements that were impossible for the Dogon to learn on their own, such as the details of a two-sun system that can't be seen at all from Earth," he added. "They spoke to me, in the inner language of galactic love, and said to me, we love you! WOOF!" Apparently they howled, and it sounded just like Allen Ginsberg, except without all the pink amphetamines.  Sit, Fido.

Artist's impression of
the Dogon's alien master 
"According to the Dogon, these extraterrestrial teachers came from the Dog Star to offer them extensive training in the Humanities, which was pretty damn ironic, in my opinion. This is also where the Dogon derived its tribal name, which can be translated as 'Servants of the Dog Masters'." Maussan has, in fact, been able to scientifically conceive through the use of magical complacency, which is the best kind of complacency, most of those characteristics that are very likely typical of this alien race. "See the noble bearing inherent to its species? Observe...  It's immediately apparent that these creatures, these beings, from whatever star they call home, are also amazingly similar to the creature that today we call the chupacabra. The resemblance is so remarkable that it would not be surprising at all if the chupacabra was once an alien that had necessarily de-evolved on Earth because of the primitive yet functional environment, becoming almost animalistic in nature, thereby explaining its primitive defensive tactics in the face of an organized hunt that was frightened of witchcraft and the purple skies it faced so far from home -- and from homemakers who granted them civilization but stole their blood. The chupacabra was an honest killer. It took their blood but gave nothing in return, which is why that name is still remembered, while the Dogon have been forgotten by all but the dreamers and the artists who speak in whispers of saucers."

The Saucerologist applauds Jaimie Maussan, and admires his extraterrestrial find -- a find that can't be refuted at any level. "This extravagant body was seemingly created to refute skeptics and debunkers, because it's been so ideal as a reservoir of scientific truth. Examine its bearing and its poise -- the delicacy of its face, and the dark alabaster of its ears and hands. The sad skeptics can't possibly insist that this find also represents a mummified child", Maussan insists. "It looks nothing at all like a child! This alien creature is so obviously a creature born in the shadows of deep space, and as such it doesn't even suggest the literary brilliance of my earlier find, although I find that it's still well worth the standards of the $5,000.00 acclaim to those who can prove to my satisfaction the falseness of my satisfaction. Watch how nobly it stands, and how gracious it walks alone in the pretty twilight in mute testimony. I have no doubts at all that this wickedly spotless controversy -- like all of my spotless controversies -- will continue to exist in this sadly misunderstood world exactly, I say, exactly as long as the profits do,"

This is a Saucer Press International Publication 

Sunday, May 1, 2016

Government Documents Expose Fraudulent Alien Abduction Claims

Public Hysteria to Justify Space-based Weaponry

Deception Linked to Reagan's Fear of Aliens!

SPI WASHINGTON DC -- Documents discovered folded within pages of text at the Library of Congress this past week make it clear that a growing number of alien abduction cases throughout the 1980s and much of the 1990s were actually the product of purposefully implanted, false memories. According to reports, the documents consist of Department of Defense memos, CIA op-reports, and a separate record of short communications between a number of Republican Congressmen, including one-time Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert. White House sources have suggested that the documents were planted at the Library of Congress by a whistle-blower of necessarily high rank and substantial authority, but refused to entertain any further assumptions as to identity.

Included with the find was a brief description of the documents that serves as a preface to the collection. It reveals that they were originally compiled and classified by a team of CIA scientists and deep cover agents originally formed during the Cold War. Its primary purpose at that time was to acquire and assess all intelligence regarding a cadre of potential Soviet agents believed to be undergoing training in psychic awareness and its application to urban warfare. While failing to reach any exploitable conclusions regarding the Soviet Union's experiments with psychic warfare, the CIA-sponsored team was nonetheless retained under black ops command.  In January 1981 the group was again reassigned under new orders, and instructed to "create such a climate of civil hysteria throughout America" that there would be little to no protest of American efforts to create and deploy a space-based weapons system.  Under the influence of such artificial hysteria, the American public would naturally conclude that an orbital platform deploying multiple types of weaponry was necessary to protect American interests in the event of an extraterrestrial incursion.

Space-based weaponry may have
been the CIA's ultimate goal.
If the newly discovered memos describing the deception are found to be genuine and not a hoax, they would prove that false memories have been purposely imprinted upon the consciousness of American citizens without their knowledge or consent.  While the documents don't present an actual accounting of the number of citizens this mind-control experiment may have included, they leave no doubt whatsoever that the number being discussed was well into the hundreds, and possibly thousands of men, women, and children.  It is considered a possibility that civil contract interests for the development and construction of the system alone would have provided a significant motive for continuing the deception, which appears to have been in operation for several years. For proof of this, Americans need only examine the continuing debates attempting to justify the Star Wars missile defense system first proposed during President Ronald Reagan's tenure in office. It has even been suggested that the space-based weaponry proposed as the motivation for the CIA's alien abduction conspiracy may have been closely linked to the Star Wars missile defense system -- in technology, if not in its proposed structure.

While it seems apparent that both the CIA's attempts to frighten America into arming itself against imaginary enemies and the Department of Defense's plans to fortify outer space with imaginary technology could be considered extravagant failures, the true extent of the collateral damage to the minds and the memories of possibly thousands of Americans may forever remain a mystery. What we can confirm as fact, however, is the tremendous number of alien abduction claims that literally exploded across the nation during this same period. The fact that a number of well-known researchers in the field of alien abduction, such as Budd Hopkins, John E. Mack, and Raymond E. Fowler have close associations with the CIA, the Department of Defense, and corporate interests closely aligned with efforts involved in the design and construction of space-based weaponry must also be taken into consideration if a thorough investigation is ever conducted. These associations can't possibly be denied, and they certainly seem from the outside to be more than worthy of public suspicion.

The associated costs involved in the construction of the weaponry under consideration would necessarily have been tremendous, had it ever been completed. The documents describe the system as "capable not only of defending the United States from a nuclear missile attack, but would also be capable of attacking America's enemies with an accuracy and destructive firepower that has never before been employed."  If the documents can be proven genuine, any associated investigation would require, at the very least, some level of cooperation between government researchers, military and contract attorneys, government and legal analysts and numerous representatives of corporate interests, which implies that a significant system of legal compromise be established in order to protect those sources who agree to come forward and not only assist investigative officers, but also ensure open and public efforts to reach an appropriate and legally binding conclusion.  Clearly, this would require a significant investigative effort and legal presence.

One of the earliest of the documents  reveals a secondary motivation for the plot, one far more probative in regard to Congressional interests. This memo suggests using the false extraterrestrial threat to justify the swelling of an already inflated Department of Defense budget to construct numerous Earth-based systems in addition to the space-based weaponry that was considered the primary interest of those allegedly instigating the plot. Some of the shorter, less formal, communiques between high-ranking Republican Congressmen clearly indicates a parallel conspiracy to "ride the coattails" of the CIA program in order to finance elaborate Department of Defense projects within the borders of States represented by the Congressmen involved in the discussions.

Was Reagan's fear of an
alien invasion just a scam?
At the time of the alleged conspiracy, the debate in Congress for a more robust Department of Defense budget had been ongoing for months, with numerous Democrats voting against each attempt on the grounds that such unprecedented defense spending was unnecessary and wasteful. Numerous political historians have noted that attempts to modernize the U.S. military faster than our technology could possibly support was recklessly pursued under the administration of President Ronald Reagan.  His Presidency was responsible as well for swelling the national deficit to well over a trillion dollars for the first time in U.S. history, with the firm intention of giving the world a view of modern American royalty. It's difficult as well to ignore the fact that President Reagan was the first President in history to suggest that UFOs might very well represent a grave threat to America's national interests and to suggest that American attitudes may need to be adjusted. While many Americans may scoff at such assessments, few have ever tried to explain in reasonable terms the seemingly out of place obsession that the Reagan Administration had for the possibility of an alien invasion of Earth. A CIA plot to manufacture such hysteria and thereby influence the Department of Defense would go far to explain a large number of such otherwise mysterious issues typical of the Reagan and Bush Administrations. The fact that the President is both Commander-in-Chief and prime Executive for the CIA should not be understated or ignored.   

Two separate, yet corroborative sources at the CIA have already come forward to confirm claims made in one of the documents discovered at the Library of Congress. They claim that false UFO reports establishing alien interference with nuclear weapons and advanced weaponry systems maintained at U.S. military commands, arms development labs, and nuclear testing areas were generated and released to members of the press, a number of civilian UFO reporting organizations and numerous magazines in order to further stoke the flames of civil hysteria.  According to one of the agents, who insists upon anonymity in the belief that his life has been endangered by his willingness to testify about these matters, there has been systematic collusion between the Pentagon and numerous authors who have attempted to establish their own singular roles as witnesses to such incidents.

One of the pages discovered this week also seems to suggest that there was some recognition of cooperation taking place between American political and military interests and a number of authors and other alleged "witnesses" of UFO phenomena who were and are prepared to profit from the deception.  It has all the earmarks of a record of payments beginning in 1982 and extending through 2009.  The payments were apparently released on a monthly basis from one or more of the CIA's black ops accounts, and were of varying amounts between $607.00 and $3021.00.  "Collusion is such an ugly word," one of agents stated, "but what else can you call it? There was a financial stake that was recognized and well understood, and there were some men who continued to be paid off for years."

Attempts are currently being made to establish the identities of the names associated with this list. Employees at the Library of Congress, as well as those familiar with the documents have already begun referring to it as the "accounts page." One of the sources within the Library of Congress who has examined the documents in some detail claims that the list he saw had no names associated with the entries, but was merely a record of payments to individuals or organizations identified by two, three or four initials only. He claims that there were a total of 62 separate accounts on both sides of the page. Accompanying text that was associated with these records, however, very clearly establishes both the content of the claims that were being released, and their fraudulent character.  It has been suggested that an ideal reservoir of individuals willing to make false claims that American intelligence, military, and political interests could easily exploit for the reasons hypothesized above exists in the rosters of the well-known UFO Disclosure Project.  The members are primarily ex-military who have proven themselves willing to establish the veracity of numerous UFO claims that are, according to other witnesses of the same incidents, completely false.

Author and physicist, Dr. Stephen Hawking, has been particularly critical of the Disclosure Project. "It's absolutely remarkable that the influence these individuals hold within the UFO proponent communities is so undeniably evident, given their background. The number of allegedly competent witnesses associated with the Disclosure Project who also have connections with military intelligence is somewhat troubling, especially when those individuals have tried to deny such associations, only to withdraw those denials when confronted with proof from their own service records.  Frankly, it's as sad a defense of compromised ethics as it's possible to witness in Washington, DC, these days, particularly when any honest examination of the Disclosure Project's roster makes this blatantly self-serving behavior so obvious." For the most part, Dr. Hawking has found the speculation in regard to these matters amusing. After all, for all the efforts put forth by such powerful men, the hysteria they tried to foment simply didn't occur. For the most part, Americans found the discussion amusing. 

On the other hand, Dr. Hawking makes a very good point. "The associations these men had already established with both military intelligence and the Pentagon do exist and any attempt to deny that fact is both evasive and dishonest. UFO proponents, however, tend to trust their claims without even a sidelong glance of doubt, a remarkable faith in their alleged value, given these witnesses' many years of distinguished service and self-assured loyalty to the very same organizations that UFO proponents strongly insist are the authors of the disinformation and the wide-ranging cover-ups that prevent the truth from ever being discovered.  The tragedy behind such misplaced trust is all too often discovered only at the expense of their own reputations for an even-handed approach to the issues amidst the hard to deny accusations of blind stupidity and irresponsible contempt for the truth."

The desire to protect such obvious sources of financial support in exchange for escalating the level of hysteria and the fear of a possible alien invasion is typical of the Disclosure Project. It isn't however, the only way to effect a cover-up of outrageous behavior and criminal conduct such as implanting false yet frightening and paranoid memories of being abducted by powerful, nightmarish aliens. For instance, there have already been attempts by both CIA and Department of Defense sources to suggest that implanting false memories is simply not possible. Anybody familiar with the CIA's past work in this field, however, is well aware that this is just another obvious attempt to shut down further speculation.  While it's true that implanting false memories of alien abduction is exceedingly difficult, it is not at all impossible.  And if the individual selected for such memory imprinting is already equipped with a rich fantasy life that includes aliens, space travel, and UFOs, the difficulties tend to vanish almost immediately. 

Hollywood has done a fine job equipping modern Americans with all of the accouterments most necessary for the implanting of false alien abduction memories. In fact, it's almost a reasonable assumption to conclude that Hollywood engineers may well have had a hand in this particular CIA mission. The similarities of many abduction scenarios throughout this time frame tend to suggest a necessary alliance between the CIA and certain Hollywood dream-makers.  It isn't a far step at all to conclude that some sort of "you scratch my back and I'll scratch your back" mentality may have existed at one time.  Indeed, such an alliance may very well still exist.  When it comes to mind control, Hollywood is certainly not a community of amateurs.

Was an outrageous abuse of power undertaken
merely to manipulate public opinion?
As for the space-based weapons representing the motivation for such tactics, there seems to be a shortage of historical references to their design, construction, and eventual deployment. These new documents, if not part of some well-planned hoax, represent the first and only evidence that the tactical need for such weaponry had once been debated amongst Pentagon and government strategists well before the knowledge and the technology to deploy such a system could make the dream even remotely viable. And yet, the Library of Congress documents posit the claim that one of the most horrific, criminal and outrageous abuses of power imaginable, the forcible assault on the minds and memories of American citizens was motivated by the desire to merely establish a more willing national attitude and empower the development of such a tactical system. On the other hand, it certainly wouldn't be the first time that the CIA has relied on strategies so egregiously irresponsible, immoral and illegal to meet goals that would have been equally as possible to achieve had they summoned up the courage to do nothing at all.    

The Library of Congress find has, however, detailed a far more believable strategy designed to run parallel with the CIA's tactic of implanting false memories. Elements of this separate mission included the falsification of numerous UFO-related records and reports to suggest that extraterrestrials are indeed hostile to the governments, military, and people of Earth. As with the falsification of memories, the falsification of UFO records and reports was also intended to gain national support for a space-based weapons system. 

Preset targeting for the space-based weapons system discussed in the documents allegedly included Moscow, Leningrad, Beijing, Baghdad, Paris, London, Berlin, and numerous targets in South America.  Sources throughout Europe and Asia have reported that America's NATO allies are outraged.  As of press time, however, no official communiques verifying the reaction of America's NATO allies have surfaced.  One examiner of the documents noted that targeting data had been discussed in three of the memos, and that a number of cities in the United States were also included on that list. While insisting that his anonymity be preserved, this particular source made very clear his unwillingness to trust anybody. "I took a look at the targeting data that was being discussed and it had to have been something else entirely that they were working over. The lat and longs were all off for the cities they were supposed to apply to, and the very few that I was able to memorize and then examine a little closer once I got home put them in other places entirely -- some are located in tiny island groups, while others are on mobile ice flows, not even on land. Something about it was weird, and I don't even want to be associated with this stuff anymore. It's creepy. Maybe they were code names, I don't know, but the lat and long that was supposed to be for Dallas/Fort Worth was actually in Antarctica if you tried to plot it on an actual map.  Hell, they have Omaha placed in a small island in the Indian Ocean! Don't call me anymore. This crap is too weird, and I'm not going to be in it anymore. I don't know squat, you got it?"

Secretary of State John Kerry this morning released a statement to press sources insisting that nobody in the current administration has any knowledge at all related to these matters, but insists that these issues will be addressed publicly and in sufficient detail to satisfy all member states of NATO as well as America's other allies.  "We urge everybody to maintain a sense of calm.  The documents that have been discovered are historical items that have little to do with the world's current conditions and political climate.  We really don't know the full extent to what we have here.  For all we know, it could be a very meaningless hoax. It certainly wouldn't be the first hoax that an interest in UFOs has inspired, nor would it be the first or even the tenth hoax involving UFO interference with America's nuclear deterrent forces. I'd like to assure every citizen of this great country that there has been no interference by anybody, foreign or domestic or extraterrestrial, with the nuclear arms and capability of the United States.  Our nuclear arms are in the hands of the very best trained and most knowledgeable nuclear custodians in the entire world.  

"In regard to the ... the absolutely tremendous number of Americans who have allegedly had their personal memories and their thoughts ... violated in this way, you have my word and the word of the President of the United States that this matter will be investigated. If recompense is necessary, it will be made.  And I'll say this much as well, if we find that such offenses took place and that they meet the requirements necessitating criminal charges, you can bet those charges will be forthcoming.  For the moment, we urge you to have some patience as we investigate this matter.  Like I said earlier, it may be a hoax.  We won't know until we look into it further."

Those portions of the newly discovered documents representing the tactics adopted by the Republican presence in Congress during this period, were essentially confirmed today by an anonymous source who was a Congressional aide throughout the 1980s. He came forward of his own volition to discuss these matters in a historical context. He insists that "hysteria can't be manufactured." It's hard not to agree, particularly after the strategy just kind of fizzled. "More than a few members of Congress were nonetheless continuing to conspire with contacts at the Department of Defense and the CIA to ensure that they too were going to get a piece of the pie. It never occurred to anybody that the American public, upon being exposed to these hundreds, possibly thousands of alien abduction claims, simply wouldn't give a damn."

Dennis Hastert, one time Speaker of the House currently engaged as a captive audience within the Department of Justice, was equally critical. "I'll be frank, I didn't know whether to be proud that the American public wasn't about to be cowed by the threat of an alien invasion, or just sick to my stomach that the American public was apparently willing to ignore the alien abduction of hundreds, possibly thousands of American citizens simply because they thought the claims were only moderately entertaining. Eventually I determined, like most Americans, I imagine, that the whole issue was kind of stupid. Those men and women who were recipients of false memory implants have either written books about it, are on the lecture circuit, or they've been on Oprah or some such thing. Nothing ever came of the space-based weapons system, which was basically a pipe dream, and the CIA is pretty much a laughing stock these days. So where's the damage?

"Still," Hastert added, "those CIA half-bear-man-pigs violated a huge number of Americans, leaving them with a lot of unwelcome memories, and sentenced a number of them to a future filled with an ultimately shameful lifestyle of paranoia and despair.

"Of course, they didn't do it all half as effectively as I did, but still . . ."

This is a Saucer Press International Publication